*

2012-01-25T23:45:00.000-08:00

When the poor stop dreaming of becoming rich, the world will then become a better place.

Close the doors to fantasies,

Shallowness and superficialities,

Ingrained it is in societies,

The men and women,

Programmed and clayed,

Brainwashed and molded,

Into stereotyping puppetries.

The ways of your fathers proven unworthy,

Sad and unhappy the world in entirety,

Living in luxury,

Yet peace? Alone but misery,

The world…

Poverty, disparity and adversity,

We pray not to stray from the straight path,

Yet we let our dreams pave a disastrous path.

Stop the oppressions,

First from within,

Turn off the TVs,

The world and all its glory,

No longer in his to do list,

The masses wake up!,

It is time to light up,

The poor must rise up,

Sincerity in every breath,

The end to disparity…

Emerges through piety.

2012-01-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

I guess at this age we have from the seed we broke out from and from what we had been given have paved our paths, invested our lives and chose a path that ought to take us to what we’ve always dreamt of; Happiness and such. I have made mine and so have you, I hope that we will all during and towards the end of our journey be steadfast and satisfied with the life we have chosen for ourselves.

I pray I will remain on this path and become a lover of this way. It is also today part of my being to fear from straying off the path for that alone is enough to signify the beginning of a catastrophic ending.

Nurture

2012-01-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

I remember when the first realityTV series, ‘Survivor’ took place in Pulau Sipadan, Borneo in the year 2000. Theshow was aired all over the world. We were proud of our country being displayedthrough television box sets in living rooms all around the world. Not longafter that we also heard news on how magnificent and beautiful the island was.Praises upon praises were being mouthed on its splendor and magnificence.

Having said that, due to lack of awareness and perhaps ignorance,we took it for granted, at least I did at that time.

However, over the years therealization and the importance of conservation/preservation of places like theSipadan Island became instilled in me, particularly after witnessing othernearby islands, beaches, and rivers in the country being considered as unsafeand reputed for being dirty and unhygienic. Who knew vast places like thiscould be tainted by a single piece of plastic wrapper or an empty water bottle?It could when every single person who visits these places drops a plasticwrapper or an empty water bottle.

It would be safe to assume thatMalaysians in general love nature, natural excursions and expeditions; mainlybecause we were raised in a nature rich environment and our activities werevery closely related with nature and involved nature.

Whenever there was a need togetaway or when the hustle and bustle of the stressful city life has taken itstoll; we were never short of places to visit. We possess legendary waterfalls,mesmerizing beaches, exciting mountains and activities ranging from hiking,camping, water rafting, diving, fishing, caving, trekking and many more.

Not wanting to leave out the richflora and fauna in our country—we are also a region blessed with a rich andwonderful flora and fauna that encompasses various unique species of plants,and animals.

Needless to say, we have and willalways be dependent on nature to survive. People visit places like waterfalls,mountains, forests, beaches etc to recuperate, recharge, immerse in its beautyas to gain tranquility, and to calm their minds.

Having said that, in reference tothe second paragraph, today there are a few places that were once well knownfor its beautiful beaches, clean rivers and calming waterfalls; are in thepresent considered an eyesore and even harmful to human. Hence despite theirony, we now have people discouraging others from visiting these places;instead of reacting more positively or responsibly. Surely we have forgottenthat we were the reason of this misfortune.

We, over the years have beenvisitors to these places and little by little polluted them and corrupted themby introducing trash and dirtying these beautiful places; in spite of being responsible in its rehabilitation weignored them and have moved on to other ‘cleaner’ recreational spots. Theseplaces, today abandoned by most, reek of an unpleasant air, the beaches nolonger clean, the corals diminishing and the water at the waterfalls are nolonger safe to drink and in addition to that there are places infested withdiseases such as malaria.

Sorry but I couldn’t help myselffrom drifting to another topic, today if we drive from one state to another wecan observe how mountains are slowly being torn down, we could also monitor andcompare how forests along the highways are being replaced by palmplantations. Ever since I was littleand on every road trip, I would witness forests being cut off and mountainstorn down; even till today it’s still ongoing! It then occurred to me thatevery single day there are trees cut down; mountains torn up while other placesrecreational spots are being trashed and polluted. If one were to observe one’ssurrounding, he/she would’ve noticed it too, if he/she hasn’t already on theamount of corruption that is presently going on.

How can we, after being so dependent and after gaining somuch from nature continue to pollute and corrupt it? And to what extent?

Furthermore it is understandable;nobody likes unclean or polluted places. Though we are still oblivious that weare the cause of this gradual calamity. We like going to untainted andbeautiful places, we pleasure ourselves but in spite of being grateful wecontinue to corrupt and pollute these places too!

It would be helpful if peoplewere to realize that if this continues all of these gems in our country wouldeventually be reduced to places unfit for visitors.

Educating oneself on the disasterof littering, knowing the consequences of littering and its effect towardsMother Nature should be a good enough reason for people to refrain fromlittering, yet sadly that too has failed to prevent people from littering.

One must realize on how much aperson is dependent and how much humanity as a whole relies on nature. Whateverour methods maybe one would probably start caring and paying more attentionwhen one has the passion and love for it. We hope people; especially Malaysiancitizens will start to love their waterfalls, rivers, beaches, mountains andall these blessings we have been granted and heavily rely on.

Loads of gratitude andappreciations to Government bodies, ngo’s like Waterfall Survivors for tryingto educate and instill the importance of Mother Nature to the public.

We are all part of nature, itshould be our part to love, care and preserve our environment. Everyone shouldbe a part of it.

p.s. The Pictures below triggeredme to come up with this particular piece. It was taken at a fishermen’s villagesomewhere around Klang. It is also said that trashes from all around comes tothis place and makes its way towards the sea. The lines of trash on both sidesof the river were more than a couple of kilometers long.

To be fair I will also includesome pictures at the same place without the trash, which I was lucky enough towitness.

I Rant

2012-01-04T19:55:00.001-08:00

To my faithful perhapsnon-existent readers here I am once again updating my beloved yet oftenneglected blog.

An old man I met told me toK.I.S.S (Keep It Short and Simple) he also said that writing is a form ofexpression, a sharing session. ‘This communication’ so to speak will only bepurposeful if the reader could understand what the writer is trying to convey.He added that everyone writes for everyone else no matter how they try to denyit.

So here I am denying it. I amsure there is truth in what the old man said, he being a respected writer and alecturer himself surely would know what he’s talking about. I on the other handreprehensively said to him that I write to make myself feel better. I wouldn’twant anyone to understand my deepest thoughts and my emotions..though I guessthere’s no secret there too.

Having said that, out of respectI’ll heed his advice and make this one K.I.S.S though actually I just plan toramble on about random stuffs. I hope it’s okay with erm people…

A few months back I stoppedplaying football. Recently I started again, reason being…once your body is usedto being exercised frequently, once you stop, one actually not only gainsweight but also feels heavy and experience some kinda discomfort. I also don’tlike when my pants get too tight.

Whenever I go to offices, banks,clinics, shops…it always troubles me to see how most employees often appear,well not exactly happy. It boggles me how people for years continue doing thesame crap and after some time stop progressing; it all then becomes a routine.Well who am I to talk, I do the same. Though it’ll be less depressing-like whenan individual does something he is passionate about. Although we know how manyare lucky enough to do something they’re really into….most are also pressuredinto pleasing the society and do whatever the society deems as success…okaydead end approaching.

I got a new job…I hope forpositivity and progress. I am not used to optimism…it’s not like I don’t wantto be optimistic, it’s just that optimism in my case often end up with a bulletin the heart, so to speak. Nonetheless, now that I am old enough, I shall beoptimistic nonetheless.

When I was a kid,I was taught…I remember these two phrases thanks to my mother. One was, ‘old isgold’ she wrote that on a wrapper; she was giving an old purse as a present.She let out a sad smile as she explained to me what it meant. Maybe because shedidn’t have any money to buy an actual gift? Well not that it matters; I wantedto say I like old stuff…from books, crafts and other stuff.

The other phrase being, ‘honestyis the best policy’ well we all honestly know that honesty is not really thebest policy especially around women or men for that matter. These days I ambetter at not putting my thoughts across.

I see changes, I see growth, wetook our parts, the journey embarks, we grew apart, yesterday it felt like Iwas still 10, we better start, focusing on what we think will make the heartspark, one must grow inside, in spirit, one should also by now already reach astage where one has already known himself and has come into terms with hisinner self. One should by now, know his path and where he is heading. His eyesset on his destination, the rest are just a struggle, some call it adistraction, a test, one must be steadfast and with all his might overcomeworlds that transgress.

Alright then, like I alwayssay...I’ll probably try to be more consistent and write more often. Thank youand have a good day.

2011-12-17T22:29:00.000-08:00

So he said, let it be told this way,

A tale not meant to supercede,

Who cares what they might say,

Would it matter if we go our own way?

Alas!

It does in so many clauses,

A cause that might brings upon many sadness.

Let it be told this way,

This way, it would be a sincere depiction of your stay,

There need not be a need for anyone to pave the way,

For your being is constantly in my wake,

In our wake,

Warmth and comfort resurfaces,

The colorful garden resonates,

Our feelings forever immaculate.

Away, distant, high on a milestone,

Trust, distrust and other misdirection’s;

Timely, A connection was born,

Bearing fruit to a feeling long gone,

One that gave birth to a magnificent bond,

The two sitting close together,

Hand in hand, embracing each other,

Serenely steadfast against endeavors

Sensitive, caring and insightful,

She…my type, my cup of tea, the apple of my eye,

Oh will you stop!?

Bothersome is this mind,

Reminding of cruel consequences,

No need for a taste of reality!

Aghast!

But…

Floating in tranquility,

Calm they remain in companionship,

Devoid of logic and any methods of reckoning…

Temporary as it may be,

Pointless it could be,

Still it touched the very depth of the ocean’s floor,

Protruding lively sparks,

That bore a flame and lit up the deep sea,

With a flare full of delight, it resonates…

Illogical, unreasonable,

This is a tale not fit for this world,

A story transpired in a universe…

Where two beings were oblivious of the world,

So days, weeks, months dispersed over the years,

Still the flame breathes and continue to subsists,

At the bottom of the sea where no man exists.

The days, daze & maze

2011-12-03T22:53:00.000-08:00

Worry—eat curry, scurry…no, not in a hurry! Soon all those memories, pointless to bury, infatuated with happiness yet best friends with misery and his friend named dreary, just like dairy, a defense mechanism actually, one that has now failed and taken over, no longer steady, the boat shaky, the defense flaky. The path is slippery, one slip and there goes his soul in entirety. What is the future, what is the world, when hauntingly it appears as if scums, idiots are in control of the world and it appears as though animals in human forms are in control of the lives of yours and mine…or at least, the lives we believe to be mine and yours?

How untrustworthy, ‘the next day will come by shining’, they say with a smile and a frown, yet they know not what tomorrow has been planned for thee, verily they too are plotters, yet re-assuredly he said, ‘there is no re-assurance’. Maybe I should get some insurance? Now, now I can anticipate negligence and get through accidents with assurance. Such is the world, pleasant not for the peasants...who can’t afford even insurance, only faith in the omnipotent.

Gloat arrogantly, why not? I only have a goatee, so I’ll remain timid with whatever self-worthy left instilled in me, murky—under waters where is this thing called self worth? Who decides on worth or self-worthiness? The pigs or the ones governing them? Self praise, now that’s something I am acquainted with, when there is no praise, the self tries to accept itself and creates empathy, empty empathies, a day dreamer, hallucinating made-up fantasies, picturing praises from those deluded wide in numbers. Hedonists, hard workers, hard to party…doctors’ who are heart-dead, reviving hearts, beating once again, a piece of meat, no light, none of the sort…only the rulers of the world, the hearts are dead, priorities widespread, a calamity, that’s what it is, beating hearts devoid of a light that transcends; one that brings about not benevolence…what upraising? Shrouded are the hearts with shreds of greed and dark entities.

Tied to a pole, hung to a trunk, stretched out entirely, they look at him appraisingly, what do they know? Nothing, not even aware of the fact that they’re only in abundance with deficiencies. His eyes sunken, he smelled of a skunk to the people whose hearts are hard like dry dungs...He smiled to a girl passing by, what boldness! He is stilled with desire, a man without self-worthy yet cursed as a man who awakens upon sensing a scent from the heavens, his sunken eyes emitted with life. The girl then looked at him she smiled back, his heart immediately enveloped by warmth, comfort and nice. He was about to open his mouth, she stopped him with her hand, she picked up a stone and threw it to his groin. She stood closer now, observing the man in pain and then she smiled again, the man deluded by her scent, felt obliged to please her, so he tried his best to make a smile. Such is the man, gentle and kind and obviously blind with no mind.

Tomorrow! Nay the near future, the far future, a child then a teen, insufficiency in entirety; grateful not from what you can see and now an adult who is trapped in adolescency, what is puberty? In my search for answers, meanings, wisdom amidst deficiencies, now I am facing my demise? Fret not for the path hath been found, now-now not a man who is re-born, but more like a blind man without his stick, trying to surpass the world and its murky grounds, guarded by hounds and heavy thorns.

Paradox

2011-11-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Shouts and shrieks,

The eyes opens with dread,

Stressed and afraid,

Solemn widespread,

Alone I dread,

Fellow minds are not great,

Too simple to akin as comrade,

It’s just difficult to associate,

Isolated I dread,

Though the people widespread,

All I see are inbreds.

Humiliated and disgraced,

Humility ingrained,

I open my arms to comrades,

They regard me not as compatriot,

They gaze and discriminate.

Though they in the slums,

They smile and acknowledge,

The sun shines equally unto everyone,

The rain drops blesses everyone,

But the people;

They see differences,

As to deviate,

So to disparate.

Mankind sullen,

Man, I am solemned,

Like a dry flower I am withering,

Watching life pass by,

Paving the path to indifference,

A scavenger who hath lost appetite,

The sun has lost its bright,

The moon has lost its pride,

The stars no longer take strides,

Save, save for the faith that lies in his chest,

Instilling Prevalence to the one who is dead.

Anaxagoras

2011-10-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Anaxagoras was considered the first Athenian philosopher. He believed that grain composed of flesh, bone, hair etc. He was interested in how food can turn into flesh and bone.

Has anyone of you ever thought of that? I mean the idea of food being food; not only keeps you alive but enhances your growth both physically and mentally. If u have, I am humbled, If you haven’t then I am indifferent. Again sorry about the repetitiveness but due to my shock/awe have u wondered how a baby gradually develops and grow both mentally and physically with the existence of food introduced to the body? It’s just so natural, so fundamental that we ceased to give it any thought and take it for granted..

I am not even at the stage of thinking of it from a scientific perspective. I am just very concerned with the thought of how could he have thought of it and why after soo long and not even through my own perception/ knowledge did I even had the faintest notion of such a thought. I had to be introduced to something as obvious through a book. When all the while I led a 'normal life' and a little bit of exaggeration why not, nonchalantly in ignorance.

Now if we look at it from a scientific point of view, we know that it wasn’t the food per say but the nutrients in the food that causes a child to grow out limbs, bones and hair? What are these nutrients? But do they consist of flesh, bone, muscles and hair?

The first time I read it, I read it with awe and a certain amount of delight for being exposed to this thought. However disappointment followed through almost immediately. How could I not even had the slightest thought; the faintest of idea to think of something as obvious and simple by myself? I asked. Here is a man from the Pre-Socratic period albeit a great one who came up with this thought. Again, what am I spewing about? Pretending as if the time we live in produces great minds or even giving myself the impression that I am capable of such thinking.

A long time back I came to terms that no matter what I think, thought of, did or do; someone else have done or thought of what I think of or think of doing. Nothing that comes from me regardless of its source can ever be original or the primary. Though bothered a little at first with the thought I figured instead of troubling my mind over such matters that would not only lead to conundrums of the heart and failure; it’ll only be natural for me to accept the reality.

Though, however, here is a thought that came devoid of outside sources… that would not be entirely true seeing that we are always affected and influenced by everything(I meant I didn’t hear or read this from anywhere). I was thinking and was occupied by the idea of how can a man be happy when there is single person out there suffering? What kind of happiness allows one to feel happy while someone else is clouded/shrouded with misery? It’s just a thought to contemplate on.

Though if u take a glance at the world and its people (My theory, well I am sure this isn’t even my theory, someone else must’ve thought of it, I just happen to think of it now.) one would definitely say that it is a failed theory. I on the other hand would uphold the belief that a man can reach contentment or attainment of many attributes, attributed to superficiality but still fail to reach happiness when unhappiness affects another.

Therefore all of these circus shows, the antics, the antiquities, the performances, these acts are lies and conjectures…

I would, well I would like to say I’d like to continue…nah I’ll end this one here—embark on a journey of humility and come to the acceptance that the drawback and limitation of man and his kind sees no boundaries; Speaking of which who knows how many other obvious knowledge that we are still in the dark about? I need painkillers. *joke*

Fall

2011-10-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

The truth is,

The cities must fall,

The tyrants and titles must fall,

Like rain falling down from the sky,

You too shall fall,

Mitigated!

The people are agitated,

Why, of course you too are irritated,

Soon you shall fall,

Curses upon curses befalls,

The heavens and earth calls out for your fall,

No need to gawk,

It is time to fall,

Like a heavy waterfall,

Your kind will fall,

Regardless of when,

Summer, winter, spring or fall,

You will fall,

No matter how tall,

You must fall!

And when you fall,

There will be a ball,

One that brings about justice,

One that silences uproar,

You may hide behind walls

The walls too will fall,

Upon you is a call,

One that commands you to fall,

You shall fall you shall fall,

Your brethrens will fall,

If you are reading this,

Then know that you will fall,

And if that too fails,

Then upon death is your fall.

2011-10-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

Avon

2011-10-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

Oh what a wonderful day,

Everyone smiling…yes wondrously!

Sincerely alive, ah so lovely...

A breathtaking sight,

Oh fascinating projectionaries,

Is this bliss or sanctuary?!

For centuries I dreamt of this reality,

The air is filled with good thoughts and pleasantries,

The people no longer ill in their hearts,

The people with love instilled in their hearts,

There were no more distraught,

Nay! No more despots!

Tears stroll down of happiness,

Bright and colorful,

The world’s inhabitants are no longer fools,

Ah, I breathe out a sigh of relief,

Astonishing creations all around me,

Comforted by the grass surrounding me,

Looking at the sky above me,

Hanging without being held,

So am I, happy without being told,

Gold and silver no longer sold,

All are alive are the souls,

I shall stop now,

No need for negativity.

Frenzies

2011-10-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

This message below was originally meant to be sent to my high school friends. It was meant to boost/spark interests/ create involvement in coming up with some sort of getting-togetherness punya event. However seeing that I managed to dramatize, get off topic and exaggerate a little too much, even to my liking. It doesn’t seem nearly as appropriate nor suited to be addressed to specific people. It also got somewhat personal and bromanticized in such a manner that might conjure up uneasiness and suspicions haha.

Greetings victims of the system! :D

I woke up today whereby I dreamt of my younger days, you know back when I was still in school. As I was dreaming….I realized that my somewhat aged brain could not extract (think winzip) those memories. After all these years, I am starting to question if I really did attended school? All that I am able to conjure up were just a few depictions of faint images that would not last more than a few seconds. However if you’re a person who believes in not dwelling into the past then I assume you are not at lost here.

Now that we are reaching 30 (I hate saying…I even hate thinking about it) I realized, in our zest/frenzy in wanting to lead a normal/successful life according to our ‘bimbo-like’ society’s expectation; we have forgotten, (well in this context) the early years of our life where we had to go to the same place, meet the same people, probably do the same things, worry about girls etc. Okay, this isn’t the affect I wanted to ‘re-kindle’. This just reminds me of work, where I am at currently, disgruntled but at the same time grateful for not being homeless and spat at. Also do appreciate on the fact that I probably have to add an extra hour at w_r_ as to exchange for the amount of time I spent writing about things of the past I can faintly recall.

Hmm..I’ll try again, pay attention class! Remember when we all had to go to the same place, meet the same people, probably do the same things and even have the same fantasy with different individuals; Minus the obligations, stress, stressors and the multitudes of never ending negativity (okay, maybe I am just speaking for myself). Of course school wasn’t ‘all that’ nor close to perfect, especially if you had a ruptured childhood. Okay, I keep on forgetting that this is not about me! :D. Sticking to the topic like glue, though we were a lot more dumber and simple minded, the air, the young innocent fresh faces, the uniform, the batch, the bloody blue thing u had to stick on your collar, the teachers (though some not very exemplary. Yes, I have issues)

I guess I am trying to say that these things are (fortunately maybe even unfortunately) are the things that made us who we are today. School was probably where our minds were molded, shaped and produced like when a car comes out from a factory to serve its owner. That’s probably not a very good example…for you might have already noticed how I am insinuating and pointing out where we are similar to animals or God forbid maybe akin to inanimate objects, which is wrong but you can probably see the similitude perhaps?

On another note, one may choose to completely let go/forgo their high school memories and experience he/she went through; I certainly won’t mind forgetting some stuff. ß (pointless paragraph.)

Finally, I come to this, the once sloppy kids I met at school, most of them I have no idea how we met. Okay, I shouldn’t have said finally, here I am getting off topic again; making friends in high school were easy you just go up to them not having to worry about anything. I don’t know if it is the same with other people or with kids today. Making friends were not a problem to me. Though being dumb I picked fights instead and lost the opportunity to get to know some interesting people (girls).

Finally, finally till today most of my closest friends are friends I went to school with, though one always faces the risk of losing a friend, true friends are always able to find each other and maintain that bond. Despite the modern world having the tendency to turn humans into inanimate objects one always feels human and alive being with friends who knew them all their lives.

The best thing about having people who understands you is even when you behave like a complete moron and time and time again spout out really stupid stuff, they simply tolerate your nonsense and brush it off. If you couldn’t relate to what I wrote then maybe I am just lucky. I have many friends but only one or two that will stand by me even if I were penniless, jobless among other things. For that I am grateful and I hope the light of true friendship will constantly shine till the end of time and beyond.

Enclosing, I end with a proverb by Saidina Ali: 'A friend cannot be considered a friend until he is tested in 3 occasions: in time of need, behind your back and after your death.'

Tomorrow

2011-09-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

He walked through the battlefield with his eyes daunted; it appeared haunted, staled with incessant taunting, badly hurt, it made him walk slanted. His eye bags were black and ringed with pouches. He whispered his thought, ‘It’s a curse, it has to be a curse, despair supersedes, reigning over every thoughts and memories.’ He worries over his well being while there are few who are selfless beings, However the masses, the people with their theories, magnificence in debauchery, self importance that knew no boundaries.

Tomorrow—you’re expected not, you bring about not daisies but filth filled with dreary and paranoia that accompanies him daily, turns one into cowardice. Ye men full with mighty prowesses like a Pegasus; they cause chaos, resulting into transgression and decades of oppression. Their eyes glimmers at the sight of gold and silver but sooner or later all would be endeavored, when the throne hath called unto your terrors. Time has kept you in power. Time! Perhaps it’s time to let the masses discover what it feels to have their fates turn over; resulting into men once again humble in fear.

Eyes opened wide when all else embraced and firmly closed—indulging in peace, rest and sweet dreams. Thoughts then stir, tomorrow you beckon fear. Pointless but he lies awake to make the night last longer. Shallow indeed, the rebel keeps his rest away from him; tomorrow both mind and body will experience the consequences till regrets comes overwhelming. Weak and lost, the vagabond continues with his sleep deprived activities.

Tomorrow you cannot be tricked; he hopes and wishes for the night to last longer than a week and for the weekends to last longer than they did. In a haste they heaved, ‘Oh pathetic!’ even his own voices enjoined in cursing his longing.

Tonight, there is still peace, alone and at ease, loved ones deep in sleep recuperating from their worldly deeds.

Laid in comfort and having pleasantly dreams; whilst everyone sleeps, the peasant weeps, ‘Oh moon! Prolong—make us forget our agonies and misdeeds. Instead almost distastefully even in our sleep you portray nightmares and depict a life similar to this.’

For during night, man hides away from all kinds of illness, worries and miseries that the day depicts. Whilst the sun rises, despite sunshine, all that transcends is a sordid darkness commanding for men to conform and enslave their lives-akin to servants who knew not the meaning of freedom. The system created to build humans to ensure they remain subservient to the plotters, the ‘esteemed’ puppeteers.

Tomorrow, it’s not even you really, how can a man stop you from approaching? The real problem lies within the air we breathe, the environment one was raised in, the society which was formed to appease the materialist and the self-worshipping elitist. Now everyman is almost as soulless as the vehicle he’s in.

In his wake he fantasizes to witness the destruction of the despots and their plots, you destroy these bigots together with their greedy misleading thoughts. What can a puppet that has no power over the world’s despots do but indulge and get engrossed in his thoughts on defeating the kings who created lives filled with distraught.

Seconds away from drifting off, he wishes, ‘I wish not to feel nor to think but of peace so when I wake up with ease I wish I could say, I would then spread peace but what is this peace and ease that not even asleep I knew exist?’

The other voice then said, ‘the way to quick peace is to stop being narcissistic, you really should get some sleep. Tomorrow as usual, you take a leap.’ It then said after a pause, ‘ye man, you cannot make me weep. I am seasoned from defeat, in knee deep with bitter animosity that will even mislead your shallow heartbeats.’

The other one said, ‘Thank God for I still breathe and for as long as I live, I shall continue to path a straight trajectory and remain calm with humility for who knows when I’d cease to breathe; dead in remorse and forever weep.’

He woke up from his nightmare, stood up, got ready and walked into another.

Man

2011-09-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

Lo! The so called protagonist, yearning heroic fantasies, the imbecile dreams to please and seize the hearts of the very people who disparate against him; fortunately he found a little sense before he was self deceived, past and the future in a land filled with embellished thorns, the mindless protagonist hopeful in his endeavors. He yearns to finds peace instead of having to please and appease the diseased, the soon to be deceased.

Every day he is numbed, being dumb, he repeats the same mistakes and goes glum, still he benumbs, with no intention to succumb, determined to rise against the mountain’s crumbs.

His eyes filled with worry, anticipating the night’s miseries, they are no mysteries they befall him and surround him with fear and ill stories, and he fails, the grown up wails, to no avail, his efforts gone stale, a mediocre tale, yet the stupid prevails.

Hailed by the derailed, the people have lost their trail, to them you are failed; indifference and intolerance gave birth to a subconscious competition to see who will prevail.

Importance in intelligence, intelligence in arrogance, a waste of a person, no more than a delinquent, he stands proud in acting diligent, an arrogant moron, the scum will soon learn knowledge alone is no wisdom.

Weakness in too many places, he studies the many faces, went through the many phases, yet still there are so many phrases, now for the appraisals, he realizes he is but weak and powerless, insecure and constantly fearing disasters. He wails again, observing old people ripe with age, still filled with rage to assert importance and gain honorary traits—lack of faith is never a good trait.

His whole being aches, his pride’s at stake, what about respect, titles, power and fame? It’s time to decide…He then decides what good it is to live up to kings and human beings? When the whole world is not even comparable to a mosquito’s wing? He turns his back from the fantasy world. Equipped himself with mediocrity and immersed himself in reality.

Hey imbecile! So has the world changed? Murkier it has gotten; my hair has now fallen, my tooth are rotten, I dislike this English I have written, a man made rule of taking strides, of deciding what is right and wrong through the idiocy of people's capacity and tolerance evaluating and marking and determining other people's intelligence. I wish to have swallowed my frustrations and conveyed my worries good riddance.

What good is pride, when you’re a creature called man, what good is arrogance when it creates vengeance, what good is a man, when he forgets his reason, what good is man when he denies his origin. What good is a man, when he forsakes the air he breathe in?

ehem

2011-09-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Ehem...I always wanted to start off like this. Ehem..so Ramadhan was awesome to say the least. I actually have written/ in the completion of several entries. Here's the thing, it seems like the only stuff I can really enjoy writing or could write about are...gloomy stuff. Hence I wasted ample time on contemplating on more or less nothing, which led to no postings. Well I care if i neglect my blog for too long. Maybe because it has become a routine or should I say I care because I am self-absorbed and it has become a routine? What do you care?

Okay, I don't know what else to write about. Besides I write more freely and strong spiritedly when I am not at home. At home, writing this appears as if I am wasting my time. Damn my thoughts...and I shouldn't be writing down everything I think about. As they say, you never know who's reading your blog. You certainly don't want people you don't want to read your blog, to read your blog.

Oh and I'll end this with a couple of raya pics. Selamat Hari Raya people. Now stay healthy.

p.s. A reminder to myself, as to motivate meself; don't waste your thoughts, energy and time on what others could do to you or what they might think of you. People are people...don't cling on to people. Life gets better when you stop worrying about what people can do to you. Of course it's not easy but once you can think that way, you have elevated yourself and have freed yourself from unnecessary trouble. Haih, patience and perseverance.

I call the first pic Harry Proper, because i am always appropriate hahaha

The cool samurai look, no?

The Gardener...konon

2011-08-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Let's try something different; seeing that it is still Ramadhan I am going to replace my unhealthy expressions with some pictures from around me house. Okay, surprisingly I have nothing else to say, do enjoy the pics, selamat berpuasa and may peace be with you..

Pomegranates...well in the making..

Betik

Misai Kucing and a kucing haha

Mango! In the making too..

This one looks like a face?

Spot the belalang

Basil

Red hot dead chillies

Limau purut, masih needs growing..

Peria

Spinach...es

Pokok Kacang Botol & Peria

Yam

Afool

2011-07-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Drum rolls,

Stomach growls,

The mouth crows,

Their eyes scowl,

The owl prowls,

The tiger growls,

The idiot gloats,

The goats in coats

The blood clots,

Populace revolt,

They stand against the stout,

Making their parents proud,

Who but the leaders are corrupt?

They send out their boy scouts,

The men then brawl,

Reduced into a sprawl,

But I just got out of parole,

A mere troll,

Going on a stroll

He fails the world,

Whose soul is hurt?

Condemned,

Left to bruise,

Now my dear..

Thrown into the gutter,

Induced to horror,

Lost in his endeavor,

He starts a new adventure,

With no successor

The world made him surer,

Of the earth,

Its inhabitants as oppressors,

They smile,

But inside they’re occupiers,

Akin to golfers,

Their hearts gone forever,

These evil moderators

Despots and conquerors,

Subtle operators,

So-called, best of plotters,

Awaiting you conquerors,

A universe of dire,

Lengthened in years,

Hope and prayers,

Of the poor and meager

A day will come,

When you’ll..

Reign in fear,

Reduced into tears

Unfortunate is this,

This is but,

Unrealistic statistics,

A wishful visionary,

Of a fool, a dreamer

Music...

2011-07-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a few months since I started with this piece. It appeared more burdensome than I anticipated; my senses were contradicting among themselves and it gave way to a lengthy procrastination period. Fortunately it didn’t end up being abandoned.

I couldn’t just let it go unfinished especially when I have told many that I would come up with a thorough study on the topic.

Having said that I would like to apologize in advance…due to the difficult predicament that my senses went through; I would say my work here has not only lost its focus but has ventured into various other subjects that was most probably led by the churning emotions/mood at the time. I would also like to say that after observing my end result, I would say that the outcome of my study wasn’t as thorough as I imagined when I spoke of it.

To be more honest, the self was too caught up in an ocean of uneasiness, self-reflection and to put into lesser words, self-absorbedness.

My teacher had lent me a book entitled; ‘Slippery Stone’ written by Khalid Baig (the book is highly recommend for people who would like to learn/know more about the Islamic perspective on this particular issue). I however, in my haste and hurried excitement proceeded to spontaneously mutter some words I wish I didn’t have; my loud mouth had pronounced that it would go about and write a piece regarding the topic in its own perspective, outlook and words. Therefore do pay heed; whatever produced by me should not be swallowed without proper scrutinizing.

Back to the book, this well researched book specifically speaks about the prohibition of music in Islam. Throughout the book, the author quotes the Holy Quran, the Hadiths of the Prophet, the sahabahs, the Ulamas and scholars. In a nutshell it is a book written to tell Muslims around the world that listening to music leads to prohibition/ haram.

I here am only speculating; that by now, your head is already forming/conjuring up opinions, or even statements that are most likely in disagreement. I hope the reader would be cool headed and not make his/her personal regard or opinion too hastily; seeing that I too am lacking in that department either that or in faith, sadly.

More importantly, I would also like to make it clear that if there were one person I wish to convince and instill understanding on this work of mine, it would be me. As for it being posted here it would merely be in the interest of sharing.

Moving on to… more about myself and the struggle that originated in my mind—Though unnecessary I would like to lengthen my writing by explaining the trouble I faced in completing this writing; firstly, though devoid of clarification, I am no authoritarian. Though since this is supposed to act as a reminder to myself, I thought, it was still ok. Secondly I still listen to music, though I continue to persist from listening to songs, I do fail. Lastly, I am afraid what I write might cause more bad than good. Again, I can be sure that I was and still am wasting precious time in being too self centered. Tonight I continue albeit carrying a hefty weight of imaginary responsibility and questionable thoughts protruding even to the very edge of my fingers.

“The reality! What is the reality and what will make you know what the reality is!?”

Surah al-Haqqah

Here goes:

I began by asking random people what they thought and what they thought…led to me pondering about something else. What they thought were filled with the emphasization of the letter, “I”. Every single word uttered reflected to the constant empowerment to this, “I”. The respect and the multitude of highest regard they presented themselves made me look at myself and think, ‘I might not be different from them.’ They do not even adhere to anyone, well unless others are in agreement with them. The only thoughts and opinions that matters is the letter, “I” because this “I” apparently knows best.

A man who I sat with in a gathering said:

‘This is what we see, so corrupted a nation, in a wrecked age where humanity flourishes in atrocities, the doing of good and the stringent instructions of obeying and abiding to religion are now seen as wrong, not just wrong but vehemently incorrect! Mainly because it is perceived by the west as going against the norm and if you’re not like them, then you’re seen as a transgressor or even labeled as a terrorist. So the obedient masses who adorn themselves with ignorance, meekly follow the masses and obey what is not supposed to be adhered—rather than following what they were initially ordained to. We are talking about fellow Muslims here, judging other Muslims.’

On another note…

The individuals, how they go on with their speeches and quotes; using religion when it is convenient, quoting when it is justifies their feelings and actions. All quiet they remain when self-reflection comes in to place (if it ever does). Apparently in today’s world one ceases to look at one’s own sinning, he prefers to look at the wrong doing of others; obviously it is more convenient and easier to notice and point out. Of course it would be strange if I didn’t include myself in that circle. What are we if not hypocrites?

On a different note,

Here are some thoughts/ideas, back when Islam was reigning in the heart of the Muslims, any act of inviting sin or distraction were considered wrong ergo abstained from. A distraction that might lead to the astray of the soul was not permitted to come close. This before sentence also implies that Islam was instilled in their very being and thought and conduct of the ummah. Neither distractions nor doubtful things were entertained. That was the level of the Muslims during those days. Muslims who understood what submission of the will meant.

In today’s world, what is music compared to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, bribes, riba.. etc? In comparison, music seems like a tiny speckle of dirt on a white shirt covered by mud. What was banished before is now considered almost harmless and relevant.

The people today are unfortunately blessed with the thinking of the west. Everyone likens success to what success is to the west. Although when observed, these people who has reached and grasped ‘success’ never appear happy or at ease; But of course you would construe me wrong, possibly because I do not agree with the perception of what success means akin to the west.

People today mistake academic qualification to intelligence. Think about it, why do individuals pursue higher education? One, they’re under the impression that once he possesses certain certificates, he would obtain his dream job but more importantly accumulate money that would finance houses, cars, and other luxury items. These means of security will then bring about dreams. How is that not great, you ask? I do agree it does sound great.

Secondly, one is recognized and respected by individuals and the air he breathes and the trees he walks by and the skies above and the land beneath. That’s how he sees it. That is how the society perceives it. That is how shallow the community is. This then gives the individual a boost in confidence and a delusional acceptance of the self that he has made it in life.

This has a reminded me of a saying, "I realized a long time ago that dreams have power only on your own mind; but with money you can have power over the minds of others". This is a sad fact in present world we live in.

Where did we go wrong, you ask? Starting from our primary intentions, goals and objectives, that’s where we went wrong. Who are we worshipping and pleasing, Apart from ourselves? We live in an age where people idolate themselves, amidst people who make gods of themselves.

Having said that, these successful characters are in abundance where I live, they are the type who demand respect from others, these are the kings and queens of the material world who gets easily annoyed and takes others as hindrance. For they’re smart and well equipped with self-ordained wisdom. They march with their nose pointing towards the skies; constantly wanting, competing and judging…with a price happiness is bought and purchased and paid for—albeit they never seem to last long. Hence they keep earning and financing for the next object that might deliver happiness.

The Muslims today are no different to non-Muslims.

We were all spoon-fed with this depiction of success and happiness through the storybooks read to us while we were still young. One that has proven to have a very strong impact and has somewhat programmed the mind. Everybody wants to be kings and queens; everyone shudders at the thought of being a lowly peasant. At a very gullible age every child is thought how to stereotype and judge people. An image of what is respected and successful then becomes enjoined and built within the mind. It also brings about an attempt to make realize ‘Ever after happiness’ in this temporary world.

This brainwashing program continues as one grows up watching the shows/ series and movies played on the television—Constantly sending indirect messages to the subconscious on changing, molding and cultivating the masses train of thought.

Tajuk kecil.

The worst kind of people are the people who without any consideration nor prove except for their vastness in arrogance and ignorance who not only conveniently disagree and refutes the ulamas. They too are equipped with the despicable ability to mock the scholars who spent their lifetime learning and teaching.

Another person at a different gathering I was in, said:

‘After giving some thought. Almost all Muslims living in here have never reached a state of total remembrance nor obedience and are constantly in a state of deceit and distraction.’

He continued:

‘Today when a muslim who follows or wishes to follow the footsteps or the sunnah of the prophet is considered, ‘sesat’ or more conveniently labeled as an extremist. A muslim who follows the Shariah and commandments are looked on as Islamic fundamentalist/ islamist, terrorist. These are labels mostly used by the media and the people of the west. Funnily enough, the Muslims here swallow it up and join them in their beliefs and judge fellow Muslims.’

What is Islam? Islam = submission to Allah

Submit to Allah even if it’s against your own will/desire. You give up what you want/desire for the sake of Allah S.W.T.

Today we want to follow religion according to our understanding and convenience and to our spare time.

We do no custom Islam to serve. We change ourselves/ characters to fit Islam. This is Islam, submission of will.

This is however our test, the world in itself is a test and we are all busy with our own version and weight of trials.

“A muslim’s moral compass does not swerve with the flurry of each new trend. He is resolute: his action determined by what is right and wrong, not what makes it easier to get along. He lures in a different world, seeking the pleasure and fearing the wrath of the creator, not the creations.”

Here are a few selected opinions by some academically intelligent people whom I’ve known on the matter. The normal man at least everyone I asked believes that music is or should be permitted

Ashraf: God is not autocratic he gives choices.

Julin: I agree that when I am in clubs songs makes me want to drink and dance. Still I don’t think it’s solely the fault of music.

Lahb: If you’re saying the sahabas do not permit music, then I disagree with them.

Halm: After hearing what you said…in that case, if music and art is so pervasive why aren’t there any ayat mentioning them in the holy book?

Nur only said two powerful words when asked about the prohibition on music: ‘Old fashioned’.

Jun: Music is good; it’s better than doing drugs. People today drink, smoke, and dance and do other bad things. What is music compared to them?

Fird said: You should look into Historical facts and you’re quoting weak hadiths. Music is permitted. To say and consider that the guitar an instrument would make people forget God. And to simply say it’s forbidden on that criterion in itself is absurd. People can forget God by many things. I don’t see why or how listening to music is haram, it’s basically listening to people talking.

Below are excerpts taken from various places and from various scholars. There are also Quranic verses and hadiths. I hope it would be beneficial and informative to the reader.

“Menurut Prof Lamya’ alfaruqui hukum hudud Islam jika seseorang didapati mencuri alat muzik ini berbedza-bedza mengikut madzhab. Misalnya menurut Syaikh Ibn Abu Zaid al Qairawan, Bakhurah alSa’ad menjelaskan pencuri alat muzik tidak boleh dipotong tangannya. Imam Syafi’iy dalam al Umm menjelaskan seseorang yang didapati bersalah memecahkan peralatan muzik tidak boleh dihukum. Manakala menurut sebahagian ulamak sesiapa yang memecahkan seruling atau sebarang alat muzik, ia layak dkenakan hukuman kerana menjual peralatan muzik itu sah di sisi undang-undang Islam.
Kesimpulan dan tarjih:

1. Menurut Fatwa Syaltut, muzik adalah harus selagi bukan untuk tujuan melalaikan dan maksiat

2. Hukum muzik, pemuzik dan peralatan muzik akan sentiasa berubah mengikut keadaan umat dan ulamak semasa.”

There is also the response of Ibn al-Jazwi who is amazed by the power of music in making task lighter.

Though on another note Ibn al- Jazwi says, ‘you should know listening to songs entails two things. First distracts the heart from pondering the greatness of Allah, second it inclines the heart for seeking quick pleasure.’

On poetry according to Al-Mawardi

It is desirable if it admonishes against indulgence in this world or attracts one to the hereafter or encourages noble qualities; it is permissible if it is free from any indecensies and lies; it is forbidden when it’s tainted with lies or indecencies.

Qasm ibn Ahman who was one of the seven jurist of Madinah, when asked about ghina, he answered, “I disapprove of it.” “Is it prohibited?” the person insisted. He replied, “When Allah separates truth from falsehood, where do you think he will place ghina?”

The great Umar Ibn Abd al-Aziz known as the second Umar also earned the title as the fifth rightly guided khalifah of Islam in a letter to his son’s teacher wrote:

‘The first thing that your instructions should instill in their hearts is the hatred of musical instruments; the beginning is from shaytan and their end is the anger of Al-Rahman. For it has come to me from reliable scholars that attending to instruments and listening to songs and fondness for them breed hypocrisy in the heart like water grows grass.’

A prolific hadith:

Halal is clear and haram is clear and in between them are doubtful things. Most of the people have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from these suspicious things saves his religion and his honor. And whoever indulges in these suspicious things is like a Shepard who grazes his animals near the private pasture of someone else: at any moment he is liable to step in it. Beware! Every king has a private pasture and the private pasture of Allah on earth is the things he has declared forbidden.

Shaykh Ali-al Tantawi (1420 / 1999) said:

There is no doubt in (their present) form these (music and singing) are mostly prohibited because they accompany prohibited things lead to other prohibited things, distract from obligating and waste money.

Abdullah ibn Mubarak (d 181/797) a revered scholar. Before he was known for his obedience to Allah was nothing but a spoiled character. But one day he heard a voice reciting the holy Quran:

“Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient”

Al- Hadid 57:16

The verses had such an impact on him that he cried out, ‘Yes my lord, it is time.’ He broke his ud (instrument) and started a new journey of faith, one that manifested him as one of the most respected name in Islamic history.

Is it time for us?

A Fatwa by Mufti Taqi Usmani on the conditions of listening to songs:

- The content being sung consist of wholesome and virtuous subject matter and is free of apostasy, polytheism and incitement to sin.

- No musical instruments or prohibited musical tunes are used. The singer does not follow the rule of music. He only provides the simple recital with a good voice

- In gatherings there are no mixing of men and women.

- The purpose is not mere entertainment and killing time.

- It does not lead to distractions from discharge of ones religious obligation.

“Say, He is the one who has originated you, and made for you ears, eyes and hearts. How little do you pay gratitude?

Al Mulk 67: 23)

The founder of the suhrawardiyyah order of shyaikh Shihab al-Din al-Suhrawardi (d.632/1234) declared it a gateway for seduction:

“We have already discussed the case where sama is permissible and appropriate for the truth seekers. However it has become a gateway of seduction (fitnah) and has lost its safe guards. People who spiritual deeds have diminished and states have corrupted and turned to it and compose majority of the sama gathering…this way time is wasted, interest in worship decreases and in such gathering increases where one seeks the fulfillment of lust and desire for entertainment. It is no secret that such gatherings are inadmissible according to true Sufis.”

“Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment (for the disbelievers, evil-doers), and (there is) Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the believers, good-doers), whereas the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.

Al- Hadid 57:20

We have reached the last paragraph of my work, I hope the examples, and quotes given above were helpful. I also hope that in the future I would have better understanding and self-control. Lastly, have you ever stood on a slippery stone? If you have then you would know what the term implies. May you and I be rightly guided in the path of truth and righteousness.

The Greatist

2011-07-07T00:29:00.000-07:00

I knew I had to post this up. This is just too entertaining and amazing and witty and ingenious. You know, not anyone can come up with something as great as this regardless of him being boastful. Taken from wikiquote, quoted…obviously by the greatest boxer everr.

Last night I had a dream, When I got to Africa,I had one hell of a rumble.
I had to beat Tarzan’s behind first,
For claiming to be King of the Jungle.
For this fight, I’ve wrestled with alligators,
I’ve tussled with a whale.
I done handcuffed lightning
And throw thunder in jail.
You know I’m bad.
just last week, I murdered a rock,
Injured a stone, Hospitalized a brick.
I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.
I’m so fast, man,
I can run through a hurricane and don't get wet.
When George Foreman meets me,
He’ll pay his debt.
I can drown the drink of water, and kill a dead tree.
Wait till you see Muhammad Ali.

Absorbednya

2011-07-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

I have been consumed, a little too consumed. It is well worth it though. This will continue at least till next week and then hopefully I won’t be leading this exhausting/ hectic lifestyle. I like being occupied but this time around; it is a little overwhelming. You probably are thinking, ‘what can this self-absorbed ass be so consumed with’? I would say but then I don’t feel like talking about it right now. It’s also good that I still contradict myself.

Ramadhan is beckoning, I have a resolution, I’d like to be more of a muslim than a malay this coming ramadhan. We’ll see how it goes.

One might assume after observing my interest and thirst of knowledge, faith and religion related matters would make me a more pleasant and a sweeter person? I would like to say it does Ha-Ha. In reality I still dislike you and others…wait, Let me rephrase that; in the present I am more self conscious, in a good way—as in I tend to see more of my weaknesses and failures than looking at other people’s. That’s good right?

Apart from that…well I am still refraining and fighting myself from insulting people and insinuating/emitting dislike or other rowdy thoughts. You must be like, ‘Who does he think he is’?

I found a solution though, I stay away from people I dislike and I try not to get to know others. It is when I get to know someone, I start to judge them, disrespect them and insult them inwardly. Don’t worry I do the same with myself. You must still be thinking with more aghast this time, ‘Who does he think he is’?!

I have work to do but I had this urge, this feeling to update my blog. Yeay! To adhering to feelings and emotions. Yes, to me bowing and having feelings and emotions have their way are at times bad…especially if it has to do with misguiding one’s focus and wasting one’s time.

My boss is coming in…and so I will commence with work and pretend to be a diligent worker who loves his routine.

Friction2

2011-06-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

These tests,

I detest,

The more I protest,

The more it manifests,

It causes stress,

In a state of distress,

No! This time none will be depressed,

Priority for the self must digress.

Friction1

2011-06-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

The child,

He says,

I hate being alone

The man after sometime,

Confides:

I despise being on my own,

He continues,

All that is left are nightmares.

Eating the soul,

Haunting my whole,

So I find refuge,

In escaping my soul,

Try to avoid from my own,

Sometimes its ice cream

Sometimes it’s a good movie

But on my own,

Demons whispers in a delightful tone,

Darkness, guilt,

Distrust and enmity,

Above all,

All are;

Afflictions caused by reflection.

TV

2011-05-30T08:11:00.000-07:00

I got this magazine from my teacher who got it from his teacher who publishes this particular magazine every few months once. Towards the end, I found this article and was amused and impressed. Yes, irrelevant and unnecessary details. So I read this story and I was reminded of my mum who is almost always transfixed to the TV. Damn those drama series! Anyways, this is a good one:

A teacher from Primary school asks her students to write an essay about what they would like their creator to do for them…

At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her: - What happened? She answered – Read this. It’s one of my students’ essays. It went;

‘Oh creator, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place and have my family around me – To be taken seriously when I talk. I want to be the center of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives from work, even when he is tired. And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me. And I want my brothers to fight to be with me. I want to feel that the family just leaves everything aside every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them. Lord I don’t ask you for much. I just want to live like every TV.

At that moment the husband said: ‘poor kid. What horrible parents!’ She looked up at him and said: ‘That essay is our son’s!!!’

Like a Thermos

2011-05-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

The phrase/quote I heard had an immense impact and it made so much sense to me that I wrote a poem as an introduction before I proceed to write the actual quote. You know to place importance…I am stating the obvious, sorry about that…but like most things, I hope to not forget this and hope to have this always engraved in my mind/heart…though knowing me, I kinda doubt myself. Have a good read.

The heart

Like the sun it rises and sinks

Like a flower,

It blooms and it sleeps,

My heart,

Has many faces,

My heart,

It amazes me,

My heart,

Travels places,

Journeys into spaces,

Changes into phases,

Shifting colors,

Influencing others,

Integrating ideals,

Confusing signs and logic,

Often ends up lost in static,

Not ecstatic.

The heart,

Known for stirring aghast,

For abhorring bad thoughts,

Creating imaginary tricks and crafts,

So often agitated,

Self absorbed and misguided,

Empty yet ridden by self-importance,

Dark and suffocating,

Drowning in worldly strings,

In need of a spark even a lightning,

For truth to transpire,

It then inspires,

Thirst that can be quenched by a blessed teacher.

The heart, it contemplates; learns to disregard others, for others are neither the ones to please nor the one who appeases, and then his master inquired, and then came a long silence, his master then as often emit golden moments, he mutters gold woven words:

“What is wealth?

Wealth is the wealth of the heart.”

'Signal', Before Changing Lanes

2011-05-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

The world today resembles hell in many ways as far as suffering, meaningless and emptiness is concerned (No, I have no idea what heaven or hell feels, looks etc, it's just assumed fashionable to use a strong enough expression in emphasizing the matter one is about to write about).

Today, values, ethical conducts, respect and selflessness in people are a strange/peculiar conduct. The world rather boastfully is filled with corrupt rulers and people, masses who spend their life acquiring material wealth..it is inhabited by people who crave for acceptance and recognition from the very people who yearn for acceptance and recognition from other people. How is that for a sick/sad joke?

This way of practising life in reality is a sign of extreme destitute. However, it still remains an opinion of mine, hence, rest-assured you’re not weighed down with the burden of agreeing with me.

Lately, I am sure many of you or most of you have…well let me rephrase; Lately, I have been witnessing many accidents whilst being on the road. Accidents that involves motorcyclists that is; Not that there are no accidents between other road users, I guess what I am trying to say is that when it comes to accidents, a motorcyclist faces a higher risk in getting hurt.

Initially I wanted to make this as straight forward and an immaculate piece where one can immediately grasp what I am trying to convey. However, I am starting to realize that what I intent might not transpire.

Back to the topic, having witnessed these freak accidents throughout the years is starting to make me feeling unsafe and daunted whenever I am on the road. I know that accidents in Malaysia is an everyday thing to the extent that one might even start cursing because of the jamm it causes instead of sympathizing and feeling grateful for not being the one involved in the tragedy.

I’ve seen bodies covered by black plastic bags worse still, newspapers and time and time again having to see people lying unconsciously on the road. It is safe to say that it turn my insides into a chaotic conundrum and the inside of my head into a wreck that eventually turns into fear which then involuntarily blossoms into an unpleasant feeling of paranoia.

Again, my purpose of writing this time was originally to appeal and plea to motorists in general to be more aware and concerned towards motorcyclist. It does not matter if that person is a ‘rempit’ or a dark skinned person or a poor person or a rowdy or someone who reminds you of an uneducated person. The reality is, no one wins. Being slightly less self-oriented and more aware might save a lot of trouble.

I would once again like to state the point I am trying to make—which is for drivers to be more alert and a little more concerned for motorcyclists. Yes, I know people as a whole are concerned citizens and are always looking out for others….

you didn’t believe that did you?! If you did then you must be…. give me a break please—on another note, if you are thinking, ‘I am not that bad, I am not like others, I am actually pretty nice’, You owe it to yourself another thought. People who think that way are almost always never how they fantasize themselves as.

Today people live their lives according to the American way of life. It doesn't matter how the journey is, it does not matter who you had to betray, who’s family you had to wreck, as long as at the end of the day, you become a successful person…the rest are of no concern; because at the end of the day, you've made it.

Yet again, I knew I had to write about this—when I witnessed an unfortunate accident a few days ago. This happened just a few feet from a traffic light situated somewhere I frequent quite often. The victim was lying unconscious under his motorbike…his helmet was nowhere to be found and his face was flat on the ground with blood spatter on the road. The way his face was planted to the ground, it appeared as if he had lost his nose and probably the rest of his face. I looked around and saw a crowd starting to gather. The car driver who probably got into a crash with the motorcyclist walked out with a blank expression on his face. I shifted my eyes back on the road ahead of me.

Being the wuss that I am, I continued on with my journey. I honestly couldn't face the sight. I continued with the rest of my journey while having the victim’s image stuck in my head constantly reminding me that how many motorcyclists like him have there been and how many more are there going to be in the future and that I too could soon end up like that man.

Drivers in general have this shallow prejudice about themselves being more intelligent than the general motorcyclist; on the sole thought of just driving a car whereas a motorcyclist..is, well, a motorcyclist…therefore it could only mean that a car driver is more successful and a more elevated human being in comparison to a motorcyclist.

It’s actually okay, go ahead and think that you’re smarter…but please act smarter too. You might even save a life or two in the process. The world is filled with selfish, self-absorbed people whose importances are slanted only towards their own individuality.

Wake up people! We are all living too, you’re not the only person living in this world and everything else is not a mirage or the product of your mind. Sure you might in your deep yet delusion-ed love of self think so, but that clearly is not how it is. We are all living together, co-existing, susbsisting with each other.

Yes a motorcyclist tends to be more rowdy. The society looks down on him, drivers do not regard them as fellow road users, and chances are they might not be as enlightened in reference to having parents who could afford for a better education that would soon create self absorbed snobs like you and me. However, with the single notion/thought of what would happen to a motorcyclist even if a car slightly grazes him? Surely you are not that dense?

Yes I am being bitter and maybe even hateful but how can I not be angry after seeing with my own eyes time and time again a different motorcyclist lying unconsciously on the rough tar laden road, untouched but looked on by every single passerby which then gradually creates a massive traffic jamm because passerby’s have to have a look, shake their heads and drift off.

Finally, do disregard any hurtful remarks. They were not intended to hurt any individual personally. The main point of the creation of this writing is so that people will open their hearts to fellow road users especially motorcyclists. Not for any superfluous reasons, but because it’s the right thing to do. The world and its leaders and most of its occupants have devoted their lives into lies, worse still self-deceiving lies. Let us not follow suit, let us bring back respect and basic ethics and more importantly selflessness that not only seem endangered but risk extinction.

Let’s slowly change before our hearts are closed to changes and in conducting sincere acts, which in return might indirectly grant us the happiness we long for.

Having said all that, let us stop, 'turning a cheek' or should I say turning a blind eye? Mockeries aside, let us begin with signaling before changing lanes. That in itself could make a huge difference and even save lives. Thank you.

2011-04-27T01:19:00.000-07:00

For they questioned yet they still sleep,

Too busy engineering fates,

Found nothing in endeavors,

Lest misery in what they gathered,

They gasped and silenced,

Disappointed in a mute moment,

They tried to get rid of the problem,

No peace, not even ease,

So they complained and asked heed,

The man then said,

Spend a little time,

No more effort in iniquity,

More effort in piety,

And then witness,

The fruits of your seed,

Time and effort must be seized,

In order to find so called ease,

Humble yourself and sacrifice,

Find a guide,

Pray he shows you what you seek,

One must be opened to decrees,

One day we will supersede,

When our pasts lies in defeat.

2011-04-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me that this pic looks super fierce hence cool...hmm I am pretty confident that many will not share the same sentiment haha. Btw though I look like an awesome warrior haha; we actually went to a hutan in Hulu Langat to check the place out, it turned out to be an enjoyable trip...and some unnecessary information, the parang was as blunt as I am :P

Circumstances

2011-04-04T22:30:00.001-07:00

The world is funny and so am I for pushing myself to write when I have nothing in particular I’d want to write about. Once again there is some problem with the network and I am unable to resume with my mundane albeit rushed, daily routine (work). Needless to say I need to find something to occupy myself with.

There was this respected old man who greeted me without bias. He had a sweet smile and the tone of his voice esteemed. I sincerely said to him, ‘I hope to learn from you’, as he was about to give a speech momentarily. He then said gently, ‘No, we learn from each other, I learn from you and you learn from me. ’ I nodded in agreement although hesitant at first, but I dared not to disagree with this man. If only the old man knew the vast differences in our levels (I am pretty sure he did too). The old man was the teacher of my teacher.

My teacher always said, don’t care about what others think, don’t even care about what you think, for you are merely a servant, subservient is what you should be. It is when you put self importance in yourself, you start speculating and busying your mind with unnecessary things.

These people they often put on clothes that appear ripe with age. They do not adorn themselves with expensive perfumes nor accessories. Though what they adorn themselves with are knowledge, their traits and qualities that neither kings nor scholars possess.

There was another old man, who regretfully expressed on how he once again succumbed to losing his temper, again. It was not my place to give advice to someone old enough to be my father or grandfather. Though I would probably tell him this in the near future, ‘we see it as a solution and that is the main problem. It is not the solution, even worse it brings about more problems.’ It might not stop him from losing his temper but he would probably agree with my remark. Of course that was the short version. You might start to realize that, this does not make sense, bear in mind I am not really trying to make sense but merely kill time.

There were then these kids, their faces always seem lit and though they speak their mind without having the slightest thought of what they say might hurt someone, their voices filled with innocence and their harsh comments were as true as the eyes can see. Different than the rest, these kids are already on the crest. With the kids around, one seems to forget the harsh world and the shallow rules society has cursed itself with.

Life, it suddenly seems like it’s on turbo. Seriously, time seriously flies. Maybe because I am always busy and I always have something that I ought to do, that or something people think I ought to do. I guess that’s good too, if you’re intention is to never get bored.

Back to the kids, we have a football match against the kids this weekend. It should be interesting and as usual losing, especially this game, is never an option.

Don’t believe everything I write, I am really bored hence I am shifting between reality and fantasy. I suppose I like it that way. That way, I still get to be mysterious and not so easily read haha.

Imagine living in a house, where as you slid the curtain and glance outside, you look at convenient stores, rows of shops and a wide range of people from every generation and from almost every ethnicity; though one doesn’t get the homely vibe, still it’s pretty interesting and of course convenient.

‘People’, I think if it is some kind of accomplishment. I care less for them and the way they think. Now that I myself am a full-fledged adult, I come to the realization that, one does not get more mature not knowledgeable as he grows, though this may appear somewhat contradictory and somewhat self absorbed. I guess I am saying now that I am an adult; I am both growing in maturity and in knowledge. On the other hand, I noticed that other adults stop growing and they’re stuck with what they know and they’re still chasing what their intelligence portray as success and happiness. Anyways what I really wanted to say is that I am grateful and lucky and I hope I will always keep on studying and pray to have the penchant to constantly focus on gaining more knowledge and strengthening my faith. Notice how I repeated myself? That is me emphasizing on the importance of what I was rambling about.

I just felt like sharing this information with you, right where I started this paragraph, there was another one. I deleted it after completing the paragraph. I didn’t feel like sharing that piece of information with you. Instead I am sharing this with you.

This is bad; hence I am going to have to write more stuff that I shouldn’t write down. Maybe I should write a poem, let us try….well I just did and it was bad. Let me think of the essence and the necessaries of the poem I’d like to write about first.

Here goes:

My-my at first he thought is this guy for real?

They said, he accomplished the greatest of things,

But here he is, smiling and offering his hand,

I expected self importance and condescension,

Meeker than me who hath nothing,

It’s a sign,

How often do we see people of this kind?

Inside he knew, this man is one of a kind,

Soon he portrayed his proficiency,

Soon he became a disciple of him,

In conducting life and in discipline,

Life appeared more at peace,

For years he looked, searching for this being,

Finally, ‘I have caught the dream!’,

Though this is merely,

The beginning of a new crossing.

Some

2011-03-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

People post videos pretty often on facebook. Most of the times, the videos are funny and meaningless, so to speak. Though there are times when people start to post/express their repressed anger by spreading hate; it is one thing for you to hate, a whole different thing to spread that resentment. In any case I normally am not bothered but the clip someone posted yesterday made me feel that this one will definitely stir and nurture hatred. Hence I wrote a poem, ironically not very uplifting itself.

So I would want to say, I wrote it in such a way as to not to sound too obvious with my intentions and as usual discreet and complex enough so that people won’t understand it—well you know, to play safe. On second thoughts, I just made myself sound completely self absorbed. It’s actually pretty easy to understand, so I think I played it safe by not putting blame/ not addressing anyone in particular.

I would love to write, defend myself and ramble on but I am actually at work with loads to do. I just haven't started yet. Today is going to be a long day. Boss, if you're reading, this is me practicing my english, like a warm up session before I actually you know start. I am also very fond of you, just so you know.

Enjoy the poem..

Freedom of speech,

The masses beseeched,

Everyone then readied a speech,

Uttering nonsensical treaties,

Expressing waywardness in what they seek,

Spreading hatred as they seemed fit,

The thinkers retreat,

Narcissists decreed,

Causing chaos every time they speak,

Sigh!

Hope for humanity seems hopeless,

Nay, almost extinct,

The world scurrying, hurrying towards its own reckoning

2011-03-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

Surely some might be thinking, how come I don't post up videos anymore? Well I am sure no one was having that thought but guess who had? haha. Anyways, this time around my purpose is more personal and as a reminder to myself and everybody else. Although people might associate me to a log or you know someone who has no feelings, I am...a spoiled brat, so you know it explains.

Alright then, I suppose I should get back to work albeit feeling a little under the weather and somewhat trying to use that as a reason as to permit slacking off and laziness. Mondayy, you come to soon! haha. Anyhoo, good day.

Thedream

2011-03-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Run!

Yet he stood there confounded,

Searching in spite confounding,

Lost but beseeching,

Looking for what’s missing,

The flowers,

They lied to him,

The birds,

They flew from him,

The dogs,

They kept barking,

The snakes,

They manipulated him,

The peacock

Enchant and played him,

The world,

Suffocating him,

The people,

Stole his esteem.

The people,

The people..

Who is this ‘him’?

If not a poor being,

A slave!

Yet, too self-fulfilling,

This self-absorbed being,

He makes everything about him,

The slave who made himself king,

The universe revolves around him,

Forever chasing,

Forever earning,

Forever a miserable being.

Yet he stood there,

Instead of running,

He began prostrating,

There is no more ‘him’,

He is only focused on pleasing the sole Being,

Now he hath turned into a king,

A king over his own being,

One that prostrates,

One who is constant in obeying.

Solitary

2011-03-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

Rainy nights,

Cold hearts,

The stomach grieves,

Eyes, they glow in red,

Bludgeoned by 'dignitaries'.

Sunlight shines,

Encompassing memories,

Heinous past comes beckoning,

Engulfing dreams,

Helpless, he foolishly awaits serene.

He seeks for empathy

Inside him lurk useless beings,

Of dreams they akin,

The world a mockery,

People and indignity.

Little by little,

Dreams transpire,

Little by little,

He transfigures,

Whatever he says, it transpires.

The beautiful people,

The ugly people,

We point fingers,

Resulting into tears,

Innately bound to look at features.

Time speeds,

The world spins,

The days past,

The years come,

Though intelligence steers.

Anger by default,

Solution he thought,

Problems left unresolved,

Anger breaks apart,

Anger is no resolve,

But you and I think it solves.

Notices and points

2011-03-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

I have not been updating as often. However I won’t say that I should strive harder in wanting to update my blog, I’ll write when I feel like it. I have noticed that most of the time I write is when I feel the need to express myself. I am also under the complete understanding that my expressions are often an outburst that no one would like to listen to and that too is natural. Hence I write about it instead of talking about it and when I write about it, I write smoothly probably in the belief that I am not even trying. Having said that, expressing one’s thoughts do help, a lot at times. Obviously it works, I’ve been doing this for years now. I think I should be amazed on how I managed to be truthful to the topics I write about and never deter and succumb into writing anything positive…that was a joke by the way. In my negativity and bitterness, there’s always positivity and a glimmer of shining hope. Yes, I also contradict myself.

Often I see my lovely/cool blog as a monologue. At times I admit, I do read my own work and go, ‘hmm, what was this guy thinking?’ I also tend to go, ‘This is too good! I am so good that the only person intelligent or the only person who can muster my writings is my own self.’ How sad is that?!

Moving on, I am also pissed on how every year, time seems to move even faster. It’s already March? Are you kidding me?! Sometimes I hate being too occupied. Before you know it, you’re already waking up and hope that your day doesn’t suck. You wake up again the next day hoping to be more productive and yea that your day won’t suck. Even that you fail to remember and go, ‘but uh uhh, what was I doing?’

These days, though I love wasting my time watching movies or you know anything that falls under the ‘entertainment banner’…well the sad part is I still do it, the only difference is I do it with the notion that I am wasting my time watching this when I can or should be doing better/more progressive stuff. So this time around I knowingly waste my time, which I must say is worse. You are familiar on how the self is weak and lacks discipline? Having said that, I actually had a point I wanted to convey at the beginning of the paragraph, I guess I was making you work for it. I wanted to say, we need entertainment or you know something that we believe posses the ability to sooth or relax our mind no matter how ridiculous and pointless that activity might be. No surprises there, most people are ridiculous and clueless—it’s only natural for the things that provides them with ‘ease of mind’ to be equally as delusional and pointless. Sorry I didn’t mean to criticize; maybe I did.

That wasn’t entirely the point I was trying to make either. On the other hand, Seeing that the paragraph was getting a little too long, I’ll try to get my point conveyed in this paragraph; see how I make you work? Wait no more, I wanted to say, please-please start doing more important stuff, well you know gradually at least. You might not understand this but as you age, you will start to realize on the things that matter and how you should embrace some and discard some. I don’t mean to nag, but once you managed to see the importance..I don’t know you will eventually understand…or not.

Sorry about the last paragraph, I don’t think I made much of a point. Do not worry! I am full of points. In reference to the ‘heartbreak’ I hope you’re going through, well, that is life, often you are left disappointed in the things you hope for. Anyways constantly do good stuff like you know loving mother nature, ethical stuff and mainly develop the love of knowledge. Damn, I do sound boring and old. ‘Well you shouldn’t be too self absorbed’, I say to myself.

One of my major accomplishments in recent days is (notice how it started with, ‘one of my’ and ended with is? Just to make myself sound cooler.), I have acquired a so called teacher; you know more like someone to refer to. Of course, he is nothing like me; I would’ve hated him if he was anything like me. In the wish of wanting to learn and gain wisdom, I knew I needed a guide and someone wise I can learn from. I see it more of a blessing, one that I am grateful for and I hope not to lose. I love talking to people with knowledge and spending time with them. I picture myself as a leech trying to suck their knowledge and wisdom from them. Not to worry, it doesn’t work that way and it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Oh I am actually at work and I also, again noticed. I tend to notice too many things huh? Back to the subject, there is no internet connection here at the moment. I am not able to do my job without any internet connection. Hence I decided to write. I again became aware of how easy it is to you know…write. I say it not in a self loving/narcissistic way. This is like talking to people; only it feels like talking to myself. I have a point to make though, to all those glorified bloggers out there, meh.

I recently met a not very intelligent person who thought that she was the most or the second most smartest person around. But, she wasn’t, not even close. A sad-sad case, There was but one thing playing on repeat in my mind though, what if I was her?! Not a girl, I mean you know… I am thinking the point of this paragraph is to not take heed of dumb people because you just might be one of them or in other words, you can never be all that smart/intelligent/wise. Besides a wise person is often nice, maybe that’s why it rhymes.

I am moving to a new place soon, soon like I was supposed to move in last month. We are busy repairing stuff and painting the house and all. I’ve lived at my current home for ermm I would exaggerate and say 20 years. I don’t know, wait till I am apart from it and we’ll see if I feel anything. “Don’t forget you are mere human”, I say to myself. But that too is beside the point. I initially just wanted to say that, I am moving to a new place and all I can think of, ‘is there internet connection?’ My second concern would be, ‘we should get a faster connection this time!’ my third thought was, ‘But, can you afford to pay that much?’ My fourth and final thought was, ‘pretty sad.’ As usual I get carried away with emotions and feelings, anyways kudos to moving to a new place!

Okay, there is still no internet connection here at work. I think I would feel very alone without the WWW, I mean lonlier or should I say loneliest? But what’s the point of this paragraph, you might be thinking to yourself? The point of this paragraph would determine whether or not I should proceed with this entry. Of course I am going to continue, it feels like a life time since I last talked to myself in a subliminal way. Nah, I am not mad, we all do it. Yes, that is my defense.

Intentions, intention, intentions. Do you acknowledge the importance of intentions? The self is like a crook, a fickle beggar who craves for stupid pointless praises. For example, let’s say there’s a blind person trying to cross the road, you initially go to help to be of assistance to the person, but then as you’re helping her you notice a pretty, fair skinned girl with a fit body also crossing the road from the opposite side. She gives u no notice whatsoever, but the sad self who craves for praises in order to benefit the self in other ways starts thinking, ‘that girl is definitely impressed, I am sure she wants to be with me. Huh, why wouldn’t she I am not only cool but a proven kind hearted person.’ The girl then walks on with her life; the blind person too is on his way. You on the other hand persist in dreaming and fantasizing but at the same time not wanting to come into recognition that the self just destroyed the self. My point is, intentions they’re tricky business in murky waters.

I love eating ice cream and chocolates, but they also make me fat. Ever since I started this new job I haven’t been exercising I mean as much as I would like to. I like jogging. When I jog, I start thinking of you know the things that your mind normally thinks of, girls, super heroes, unicorns and the likes. I also have gotten a little disappointed in the mind in portraying it’s ‘pictures’ I once said to myself, seriously, Is that all you got? I mean if you’re day dreaming you should at least try a little harder! But noo, the self keeps on thinking of the things the self knows and constantly thinks about, how lame right? It should start thinking of things it has no idea about and you know just open up. Okay I realized I just made a point here before I could actually make the point I wanted to make, if there was any point to begin with.

This calls for another paragraph, so you’re jogging—the first 10 minutes of your jog, you’re totally consumed with your pathetic, everyday thoughts. After 15 minutes, you tend to appreciate your surrounding and you know observe the ground and try to enhance focus. After 20 minutes, the only thing that goes in your mind is, ‘you’re doing a good thing, keep on going man.’ After 22 minutes, ‘dude, I don’t think I can go on….but you must go on! Don’t be a puss, don’t you want to lose weight?!’ you then start to slow your pace and embrace the way you breathe. You then stop thinking and just focus on running well you don’t really stop thinking, but its close. You then go, ‘must run, must run.’ This is the highlight of the whole running process. Until, finally this thought timely comes to work, ‘Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a cold iced drink? One that is cold and sweet and provides world peace and everything one can ever ask for.’ You then wake up from that daze and brush off the nonsensical thought. You slowly but steadily try to keep pace, and then this thought comes in play, ‘Oh my, a drink would be awesome but then I also am aware that I am pretty hungry. Now that I have jogged and sacrificed so much, I have to! No, I must! Reward my noble self! Now this would bring so much happiness, peace and justice in my life.’ You then come to realize you are not running anymore. You go, ‘oh well.’ Anyways the point is, it doesn’t matter how dumb you are. Just keep on running. It helps.

Oh crap! I am connected to the internet. Just when I was on a roll, I suppose it would only be dutiful for me to get on with my job. To think that I was about to write about my lunch just now, the people who comment on youtube and the Arab world conflict, that can wait.

*peace sign*

Far

2011-02-15T20:07:00.000-08:00

Justice!

There are people of less importance,

Who comprehend not the word's meaning,

Here are the poor with their skin colored,

These are the people, who die in dire,

Taught by the world,

A prosperous person, on top of the world,

It becomes then, decree of the world.

To label, judge and to pre-determine,

To see their race and what they’re worth,

Before they consider,

Whether the people deserve a word.

They ogle their eyes and shake their heads,

Rich men scoffing about human rights,

What do they comprehend,

Aside their deranged pride?

In admiration they gloat of themselves,

Their eyes burst with self importance,

Their acts are selfish,

Disregard everything,

They're always right in,

Oppressing human rights,

They look down at the poor,

They frown then close their nose,

As they look down at the poor,

They turn and cover their nose.

You may in your perfect world question,

Why I seem to emit dislike,

For I have known not, what is ‘like’,

You may think, here’s an angst teen,

One who chose not to accept things,

Think what you think,

You still will not understand a thing.

If you still have no idea what it means,

To be poor, with black skin,

For you have failed to look in their eyes,

Acceptance only for money and kin,

Akin to their kins,

You know nothing of this being,

Be thankful, lucky privileged being.

Justice in the world..

What then but prejudice?

For sure the lot will think I speak of sin,

Justice synonym to those born kings,

They have in their hands all types of reigns,

To abhor all beings, tyrants among living things,

Justice merely a word sufficient for selfish beings.

Don’t brag about education,

Know! You were born a privileged being,

For certificates not signs of a clever human being,

You were probably born a light skinned thing,

Hence people around listen to your idiotic mumblings.

The world is not for the poor,

Everyday lives, used and categorized,

The tales of poor are never bothered,

Though as long as we don’t deter,

And consider the rich man a failure,

We still might cease to suffer;

And if we get richer, we give it away to the poor,

Surely you will fail to adhere,

You were not born poor and,

From what I’ve seen,

'Justice' means terrorizing the poor.

I don't know

2011-02-04T00:07:00.000-08:00

I don’t know. Basic knowledge, profound insights, I don’t know. The development of the mind and body as it ages, makes it compulsory to instill understanding, contentment and tolerance as main components, but I don’t know, they come and they’d go, they’re never undeviating, they come and go as they feel please, most of the time I face the risk in wavering and when I do, I am susceptible to despicable things.

One then sees the similarity resembling an adolescent kid. Old habits die slow, they almost seem part of the soul; so irritating and frustrating I seem to succumb to these destructive cravings, to have end up doing distracting deeds. Hovering and wavering is displeasing not what I have aspiring.

The self in learning and progressing seem like he’s starting to walk unswervingly and that really seems like achieving. I don’t know but I am me, can I change myself suddenly? What then if the supply of information and knowledge stops providing? Then lost is the fuel that keeps him moving.

One should only think that he should be a happy being? I don’t know, a man’s desire seems never ending, closeness and reverie to God would put blessings and happiness in a man’s heart, but I don’t know, I am still a selfish being.

The waywardness and the idiocy of the people, I try not to affect me, for who I am to judge thee? For what do I accomplish from looking at stupidity? We all look at things differently, what you see as success I see as a shallow and ignominy; what I see as success you see as lame and your view of idiocy.

We are rowing our boats without a proper destination in mind, still we keep on rowing in what we think we are relying; upon reaching destination most people then look for a replacement, the one before failed to result into enlightening.

But how can the people not affect me? I am with them living ‘harmoniously’ doing most things that seems so benignly, I don’t know, surely, only an idiot looks at idiocy, though the world is in abundance filled with it.

I don’t think I am as angry as I used to be, I don’t know. This is the ‘age’ of acceptance and then striving and of contentment and progressing, everyone their own version and depiction of what lies ahead and I am with mine.

For when I start seeing wisdom instead of stupidity only perhaps then, tranquility. The fact remains that there are too many things that I don’t know.

Righteous 2011!

2011-01-15T08:21:00.000-08:00

I've actually been looking for this song for ages! Was first introduced and transfixed to it by the mesmerizing tune from the uber cool 'Gatsby' advertisement. I liked it so much I posted it on my blog(the commercial). It never occurred to me that there was a group behind the song(silly me) hence I was pretty ecstatic when I first saw it, the clip...to my surprise was, how do I put it...unique, but the lyrics were pretty cool and somewhat realistic too. I am also starting to think that it is pretty lame and insecure of me for explaining on why I am posting a clip on my own blog.

Having said that, this is also a gesture, a hint at wishing you guys..well it's no longer a hint since I just said that..and before I confuse myself, here is to a great new year ahead! And you know the usual things that people say, like may all your wishes come true and all that well intended messages that makes you feel psyched! and perhaps even more motivated than you were the previous years.

Righteous! I always wanted to say that...hm especially after hearing a new friend of mine saying that quite often. For example when we reached our destination, she'd go, 'righteous!' so i too after a few seconds, went yea, righteous! haha. She was several years younger than I am. Perhaps it's a new lingo. Why am I talking about this again?

Anyhoo, I don't know how exactly to put this, but...ohh! let me just tell you about the lamest/coolest new year text msg I received; it said, 'Happy 2011! there are only 12 more months to 2012'. I hope you get the joke or not.

I was saying, there are changes happening within and around us, here I am trying to be subtle and discreet by making up insinuations, metaphors and make it appear like I am relating to something philosophical huh? I foresee changes in wanting to embetter myself (if that is considered a word) I have also been meeting with pretty interesting friends but this time, I've been befriending people who are able to teach me and humble me. I find that a great discovery, for myself that is...seeing that I don't find most people interesting, even intellectually stimulating, how pompous and arrogant right? That's what I keep telling myself.

I am actually very humble, I also contradict myself at times. I am pretty honest too or so I like to think. I should stop talking about myself, a friend of mine told me, 'why does it always have to be you?' and every time I said something, he would repeat the same thing. Maybe to annoy me, but still....well now that I think about it, I should've asked him to answer for me, seeing that he asked me that question in the first place and seeing that my answer wasn't sufficient enough to his ears and one would assume that one would know the answer to his question right? Why am I talking about this again?

In reference to one of the paragraphs above, I would also like to add that I am moving to places and even going places. This could very well be a wish. It also can mean, I am seeing new faces in new places?

My dislike towards people have not phased. I come to the realization that my negative aspects on things are consistent and continuous, of course they could both mean the same thing. I guess I am trying to say that, it would be nice to have the same outlook on other things, but noo I tend to get bored of most things especially people. It does appear that the more I talk/write the more arrogant and self centered I am or so you might think. Don't be fooled, I am actually very humble and pleasing to the eyes.

I should stop talking. Happy new year. Please be more selfless and caring towards others. Always put yourself in someone else's shoes and reflect. Stop littering and go green! Read more and stop being so stupid, please. By the way, what is with lame ass people copying and pasting quotes from people to appear more profound therefore smart? There is so much anger in people huh? Don't worry I talk to myself most of time. In this case, write to myself. Enjoy your deluded lives filled with short/silly escapisms that makes you seem you're happy. Something is wrong with me!!

I guess I should be more righteous. Though as of for now, I don't even know what the word 'righteous' means. I do have some new, new years resolution...yes I did say I should stop talking; I won't bore you with lame ass resolutions. Who cares anyway? Oh and for those who still read my blog, I'd like to thank you(that actually means that I am thanking myself) haha. Yea, you shut up!

I've been wanting to say something nice so that I can finish up with this entry, tough luck! I guess I am trying to say, be happy, whatever your definition and no matter how fake and deluding it might be... That's not nice.

Finally it's been sometime since I had a good ice cream, any ice cream for that matter. I hope to get some and I hope you would get some too...for me.

Thank you *smiles* :)

Sanctioned Sanctuary

2011-01-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

They hide behind the tallest mountains,

The young boys live in discarded tunnels,

The families’ in war torn tents

Bruised with ruins are everyday lives,

The houses too flatten and destroyed,

The trees and crops wiped out as well,

They control the water,

And try to control the rain,

The way they have the terrain,

They have power over the lights,

Occupiers are devoid of any true light,

Their hearts are worse than of corpses,

They penetrated using evil forces;

These are cowards in the eyes of the courageous,

Bullying innocence with heavy armaments,

Over the years their treachery and barbarity,

Resulted into a mountain of innocent carcasses,

They killed mothers and our forefathers,

They took our rights and privileges,

Left with nothing but anguish and deceased,

Dreadful circumstances and so little choices,

They entered our villages and pillaged,

And turned neighborhoods into wrecked empty fields,

Till today it still goes on,

A never-ending debauchery, it seems,

Till today the worst crimes against humanity goes on,

And everybody lives on,

As if there's nothing wrong.

Though our brothers are against us,

And as they pray,

They beautify their prayers,

So people will watch and perhaps applause,

Since our brothers refuse kindness and empathy,

Still they gloat flaunting their white robes,

These are the people,

Who frequents the mosques,

Yet the orphans are left accursed,

The poor and malnourished,

Repulsed and left to rot.

Change comes from within,

We show compassion through our deen,

With good intentions and authenticity;

Not to end up a malicious hypocrite.

This phenomenon spreading,

Tyrants and despots are reigning,

Influenced are the rich in atrocities,

Corrupted and deceiving,

Cruel and mistreating,

Our own brand of Zionist reign,

Even Pharaohs and Caligulas,

They lurk and embark,

To plot and hoodwink,

They succeed in misleading.

This is the state that we live in,

This is the journey we are in,

This is the world we find meaning,

The battle of an ordinary man,

Against a world full of misgivings;

Glory to those who keep on striving.

And

2011-01-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

And so he said, ‘I’ve got a new year’s resolution!’ And then they said, ‘you shouldn’t start a sentence with, “And” ’. And he replied, ‘Go to hell!’ hypothetically of course. As usual, he was leading the road he was put on, a path that still needs repairing and possibly even changing, his every step was filled with precautionary ones though he was innately brought to life with nothing but curiosity.

He had a few amendments – a brand new year! But they rejoice, always finding some means to excuse their overly pompous deeds, but the west do it and they’re the epitome of success and happiness, funny how these people become exemplary.

Sorry about that, his amendments, after realizing that he couldn’t completely disregard what others think, he would try his best to care less than he does about the mass, who are a mess. Really when one has chosen a different path from the masses, it seem their train of thought, ideologies and everything differs.

The hermit then gestured as he was embracing his child, ‘this is my daughter.’ He said. She was 5 months old and cute and innocence seemed protruding from those shiny little eyes. He eyed the child who was untainted, beautiful and pure. The hermit was still facing him and so was the baby, he stood there as if expecting something from him. At this, the peasant said, ‘who is a peasant to greet a blessing from heaven?’ The hermit was still standing there unperturbed; there was a pause and then he feeling slightly aghast extended a finger towards her little hand and she took his finger and clasped her palm around his finger. He could feel her delicate grip. The peasant felt warmth—the hermit said, ‘don’t over think things. Pure beings, don’t differentiate.’

Along the way back home he still couldn’t get his mind off the occurrence; how was a peasant given equal treatment? She was white and seemed to emit light; he was black and a target to be spat at. This wasn’t the world he was used to.

And what is intelligence? He questioned. And what is a person who claims to have acquired an abundance of intelligence, what then does he achieves? Peace and purity, understanding and piety? ‘Though no man is really fit to say that.’ He added while I seemed to be listening attentively.

His legs, they started to itch, he was diseased, diseased brought by some insects from the wilderness of the east, he took out a bottle that contained some curable oil. He was rubbing his palm across his leg. He spoke, ‘as much as this itches and pain it was nothing compared to the bruises that lurks in my heart, where no oil nor ailments could ever reach, where the pain still persist and never cease’.

The earth’s rotation, is it consistent? Why does it appear to have fastened? His thoughts consumed him, he then said, ‘for all I know I am still a child who was dependent, embracing innocence, playful but with contentment. Every single moment of my young life, where my mother went, I followed resembling a duckling and that provided with me security, stability and happiness. It was as if that was solely what I did, my goals. He stopped talking and for a few minutes he remained quiet. He looked at me and said, ‘Now I have come to a better realization, that is what I did, I had a guide, I had protection and I followed it and stayed close to it from the moment I opened my eyes to the moment I closed them; never to let her out of my side. Suddenly I have over grown and not prepared to adjoin the world, I am comfortable being innocent and undisturbed by the world’s malice and character…and now I am an adult man? Here I am dreading life, embracing paranoia, befriending greed and fantasizing a delusional ever-changing happy ending that puts even the most colorful fairy tales to shame. When I was a child my dreams were more upright and I don’t remember wanting this and that. When I was a child I had a guide, now that I am an adult, who befits to be my guide?’

Like the opposite version of a flower that blooms in the morning, the curse of adulthood subsisting and the conquest of a self-searching man seem useless and is now lost in his intertwining journey and he is torn on what is enlightenment.

The roads I have taken, the people I have met, the people I have briefly met, the causes that seemed impossible to meet, the quest of a better human world has lost it’s passion. The quest to self enrichment hath set sailing, the wisdom that was there all along, the belief that makes one sound, bestowed by holy men, a feat many will fail to comprehend, but it lies right before your eyes, if only you were set out to see and if you do see, it only marks a beginning of a brand new journey.

Like a boy who just reached puberty, filled with bright curiosity and excitement on the wondrous beauty and mysteries it hides. Like being brought to the world again without prejudice and bias. As he becomes an adult, he notices that he needs a guide and something to follow; sadly a man has to mend his own ways. More than often he is drifted and lost in the many ways.

The irony, the sheer timing of a shift in purpose and a new perception that appears clear has resulted to a change of heart, one that instills importance on how the self-deceits than on others and their misdeeds.

Requiem

2010-12-27T05:39:00.000-08:00

('Requiem' by Mozart, better to listen to the longer version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8vJ_lMxQI and it helps to read with the music on)

Like most people who enjoy spending their time loitering at cafes; these two were no exemption. The best friends used to live in the same neighborhood when they were little. Maybe it was fated but the circumstances that led them close to one-another was poverty. The two friends were from a poor family living in a middle class neighborhood. They connected immediately and realized they needed each other and acknowledged the importance of having someone that gets it. This led to a beautifully blossomed and sustaining kinship.

Though they don’t live as neighbors anymore the bond they shared acted as a living flame that tied them together and enabled them to trust one another. You don’t see this kind of Friendship too often these days; it is a rare quality.

They were sitting on a set of what appeared as old-fashioned wooden stools that came with a matching round table. Our first protagonist was named Scotter, Scotter was having a cup of hot plain tea and the other, Aslam who shouldn’t be drinking coffee was having his favorite sweet black coffee. They both resented milk in their drinks.

About an hour later of what was filled with updating each other with experiences and stories they deemed worth sharing, Aslam sat up and exclaimed as he remembered something he wanted to talk about.

He began, ‘You know, I have this interest towards listening to a certain type of music that sometimes conjures up emotions, right?’

‘You mean your penchant towards dark and miserable things?’ replied Scotter sarcastically.

‘Well whatever man, we all have our inclination towards certain things that others might deem as weird.’ Aslam continued, ‘here is what happened, it was early in the morning, and this morning I had to take my medications and I wasn’t working that day thus I took things easy and I noticed that I wasn’t stressed out on having to go anywhere or rushing for anything; It was a good feeling, I have to say.’ Aslam nodded to himself as he said that.

‘Well good for you then, what are you trying to say?’ Scotter asked losing patience. ‘Relax man, just listen to me will you?’ Said Aslam.

Scotter looked at his now empty cup and asked the waiter for another hot cup of tea, ‘with lime this time’, he told the waiter. Aslam too asked for another cup of coffee.

‘To be honest, your stories have always been a little weird and gloomy man, don’t you think of anything normal?’ Asked Scotter again with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

‘Haha! I don’t know, I wish! But you know how circumstances tend to make people think and have a different outlook on certain things? So will you stop with your cheap sarcastic remarks and just listen to me vent out? I just need to share this with someone and who better to share it with than you?’ Aslam explained to him.

‘I am privileged.’ Scotter replied carefully and nodded in silent. Aslam took the hint and continued, ‘I turned on the computer and was looking forward to watch a movie or you know anything I’ve downloaded. As I was browsing through the files, I realized that I saw almost everything I downloaded recently’. I then got restless and started moving the cursor to the available drives and started double clicking random folders.’

‘To my surprise, I came across one of the clips I used to listen to all the time and is still one of my favorite till today. So I played it on. It must’ve been the medication I took, because I started to feel dizzy and floating. I stood up from the chair I was sitting and lied down on the floor instead, I was now aware that I was staring blindly at the ceiling.’

‘Wait, this song it’s not the one entitled requiem? As Aslam nodded Scotter let out a sigh and said, ‘Here we go again, you are going to talk about the song you listened to, aren’t you? He said agitated but a little interested. Aslam’s story was always a little peculiar and never normal to the point of entertaining.

Ignoring what Scotter just said, Aslam continued with his story, ‘Anyway the medications affect were getting stronger by the second.’ He paused for a moment and continued again, ‘now that I think about it I might’ve taken extra doses than what was originally prescribed by the doctor; and the speakers started singing out this amazing music. I was lying down on the floor looking at the white ceiling and my ears felt as if it was attending a feast.’

‘I noticed whilst the tunes came out from the speakers and swiftly entered my ears and flowed into my brain. My eyes were closed now.’

I started feeling a deep sense of hunger and I was also feeling weak all over. I opened my eyes and I was now standing on a vast black platform and everything below was black. Around me everything was as white as the ceiling I was staring at. As the song progressed I felt more and more alone.

Due to the stimulation of the music to the brain, I corresponded with the tune vigorously. In a trance like state, I vividly saw myself standing alone with nothing to atone. I tore away my relations with the world. The pangs of miseries stroked me vehemently, before any admonishing it started diminishing every little confidence and self esteem.

I needed a light that illuminates the path. These petty escapisms, I can’t account for them anymore. The self-fulfillment they bring out, little by little dispersed into mundane familiarity. What had done the job before was not able to come close to satisfactory anymore. The self gets used to things too fast, momentary escapisms, temporary happiness all in vain, accumulated into waste and disgrace.

For a moment there I thought I stood stagnant and malignant but how I was wrong, I wasn’t standing still, instead I observed myself moving backwards. I see myself being decapitated, depreciated, degraded, getting smaller and smaller. The choir spat out a melody that touts, the touts consequently sprouts out shame and a lingering growth of unhealthy tumor deep-rooted with pain and agony.

They construe what they misconstrue; they adhere to what they don’t comprehend. Disparity, impunity they attack from all sides. The choir continues singing excitingly, bringing to ground fleeting memories and bounded miseries that I never knew still living within.

All sorts of heavy tragedies passed through the vivid theatrical version, the production of what appeared as depicted by the mind. They fastened their pace and elaborately haunting the mind with melodies of grace. It made my mind race while I was standing perfectly still. And in a daze I started witnessing many strange things.

I was hypnotized, standing upright but everything else moved swiftly around me. I had to lie down and so I passed out but the vision in my mind kept conjuring up pictures and tales. The sudden serene followed by the shocking outburst of iniquity, still evoking and awaking my seething memories.

The orchestra was an inch away from me, they continued putting words into my mind. They mocked and they laughed, they sympathized and showed compassion, they serenaded and instilled hatred.

Scotter by now had taken interest and was amused listening to his friend’s expressing some very twisted tales. He always knew his friend had a weird sense of story telling but this was overly dramatic. He even started to assume that Aslam was making things up or did he really overdose on his medication? He then for some reason decided to test his friend, Scotter interjected and blurted out, ‘Have you ever wondered how rice is composed of flesh, bone, hair etc? Isn’t it amazing how food can turn into flesh and bone?’

Aslam stared at him disapprovingly. They both stared at each other for a few seconds until Scotter sighed and said with a regrettable tone, ‘sorry, carry on’.

‘As the song went on towards the middle, the conundrums in my eardrums were almost unbearable, I witnessed earth quakes, mountains colliding against one another, volcanoes erupting, tornadoes, thunderstorm and it was snowing where it shouldn’t but still the people lived on uncaringly in oblivion.

I could feel the thirst within me drying me up from the inside. The next minute I was in a completely different place, this time everything was great. My thirst was quenched! I was lying on a rich green carpet at a splendid forest. The air was pure, the atmosphere a cure, the flowers bloomed and animals happily loomed. The children were hopping joyously, the adults all looked without stress and worry and appeared sincerely happy.

Soon I once again noticed a change of phase; the conductor began signaling other things. As swiftly as I was comforted, the next second I find myself gasping for air. I knew I was in a state of calamity. I was in a country in way and I saw the face of a worried mother carrying her child running around aimlessly with no sense of direction. A number of other mothers with their children too joined her and they ran around seeking shelter and protection. They came into a dark alley whilst their enemies waited gawking treacherously. The mothers’ eyes were filled fear and tremor, the enemies eyes were colored with deceit and an unaccountable amount of foolishness. The mothers fell into their trap and their journey ended protecting their child.

The melody changed and so did my vision. This time I was bounded and shackled by heavy wooden garments. My hands, feet and neck were chained and I was put to kneel in front of a mad shrieking crowd. Having always been too self-conscious, I was surprised that I didn’t care what the people thought. I hope I always saw it this way, but at that moment, they appeared as merely objects who were moved and pushed around.

A huge man with a charming face came out with an axe. He looked at me and let out a crooked smile. He didn’t waste any time, while the masses were getting rowdy. He lifted up the axe and said goodbye.

I was now in a different state; in a desert where nobody lives; my body was stretched out longer than I could ever imagine. Under the scorching sun and dried by the burning sand. My back was burned and the pain was unbearable. I witnessed then a sudden appearance of thousands of beings walking from a distance. They came out of nowhere and as they neared me, they deliberately walked on me and as they got to my chest stepped unto it bashed and kicked it. I could feel the stab from every step and they proceeded to my head and when they were there they left their crazy thoughts and ideas into my head. Some shouted, some whispered but everything they said were dimwitted.

I was now fast asleep, like a child sleeping. The lullaby carried on. There was a revelation; they were never anything bringing me down, not a single burden. The world is my heaven—I noticed then I dropped my guard and the world started spinning once again, bringing about realism into the reality. As it spun, everything affected me. I was affected by every single occurrence. That led me to believe in my existence of a weak, dependant human.

The song was coming to an end. All these while, while they were punishing me I finally noticed something worth mentioning, I wasn’t at their mercy, they were merely mercenaries, the one controlling them was moving his hands frantically into the empty air. This man too was a tool controlled by certain entities and they too were controlled by other parties and finally every man has to abide and is at the mercy of nature or the one that commands it and as long as you’re human one cannot devoid himself from abiding with the laws and rules of the universe and being human.’

Aslam rubbed his hand that it almost looked like he was clapping them. ‘Is that it?’ Scotter asked. I know you were making this up and you made me listen and I got interested, why didn’t you finish it off with a happier ending?’

‘I wasn’t making it up man’ Aslam replied and paused and thought for a bit. ‘Well, there’s no use fooling you, but I really did dream or hallucinate about most of them. He stopped again expecting a reply. When there was none from his friend, Aslam asked Scotter, ‘was it good? Did you like it?’ ‘I want to go home now and you are paying.’ As he got up Scotter added, ‘I like happy endings man!’ and walked out the café.

(Aslam and Scotter)

Detest the Test

2010-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

I live amongst torn and throngs of disparity,

Torn into a thousand pieces,

Thrown into the depths of treacherous creatures,

Significance sees not insignificance,

Filled with troublesome questions;

With no apparent solutions,

Hopeful skin shreds in multitude,

Crumbles the insides and lest suffers,

The soul impoverished,

It’s light slowly vanishing,

Brandishing a flag of surrendering,

A crooked smile, a sign poor embodiment,

The right side now broken,

Confidence must be awaken,

A diseased soul now apparent,

In the face of the beholder,

His faults are shown,

Shun into solitude,

Shone did the sunlight,

With anger and torment,

Causing the self to bleed,

The self-reliant no longer self-reliance,

Awaiting and hoping,

Destiny in destitute,

Unfulfilled matrimony,

Distinguished guests look on warily,

The earths spin against me,

A parasite judged unfairly,

He looked into the skies,

Dropped to his knees and begged for compassion,

For answers,

Or what he was destined,

To shine or to go blind;

Enshrine his soul from dreams and fantasies,

The skies looked back at him,

Kept on staring and vanished in hindsight,

I walk amongst madness and tragedies,

Where the wronged is right,

And the right is wronged

But still I shan’t waver,

Since the skies has yet to answer,

I am not just any dreamer,

Soon fate will set free its secrets,

A simple man with humility,

Not great nor mighty,

But stands in truth and piety,

His destiny was his journey,

To unearth wisdom and the self within,

He bowed his head and then prostrated,

With sincerity and his friend purity.

Till then the servant,

Will act with patience and piety,

Hopeful to walk the path to intelligence.

The Dreamer

2010-12-20T21:04:00.000-08:00

Like the moon her presence always shines upon him,

So clear and enchanting,

But as he reached out to seize the moon,

She was further than he wished her to be,

She distanced herself and eyed him coldly,

He wasn’t as privileged as she wanted him to be.

From far away your light illumines,

Pure and undeterred,

She glows unbiasedly,

He stood there awaiting, unfaltering,

For a tiny hint, a teeny gesture;

He was hoping to attain,

A pure accompaniment,

A hand of warmth and compassion,

A being that stays together for better or worse.

Her appeal and kindness,

Appeared in torrents,

Overwhelming with strong emotions

A sensation of delight and bliss,

Overcame his whole being,

He closed his eyes and took in the ecstasy.

For the romantic dreams,

Of closeness and thoughtfulness,

Heart longing and addressing,

Writing letters that goes unnoticed,

He kept on daydreaming,

For the maiden to notice.

But her kindness only exist in his imaginings,

The angels appeared pure and untainted only in dreams,

For only in his thoughts she was alive and smiling.

Reality was nothing-alike dreams,

Still he continued to daydream,

He found acceptance and happiness,

For as long as he dreamt.

Sunny Side Up!

2010-12-15T04:48:00.000-08:00

In the near, almost immediate future.. Man in their inclination towards going against nature ironically, maybe even expectedly ceased to be ‘manlike’. Whether it was a curse, a gift or merely the fated journey of man and his kind. This being called man continues with life into a journey full of expectations and hope albeit without the slightest power and control over his fate and the dream he wishes to grasp.

You might go so far as thinking of God, you are not wrong but we are here still talking about fate and soul being controlled by other people who scripted and ascribed how certain things should appear like—things that might determine happiness and sadness, success and failure; accordingly these corrupt pioneers then conveniently establish commandments a manifesto of what is right and wrong as depicted by them, these self proclaimed elevated humans. Of course it was inevitable but it doesn’t mean abiding to these pompous, self-righteous man made rules.

Well it now comes back to individual perception. The individual perception; what a bothersome nuisance some might perceive; Especially when most individuals’ intellectual quality are the same as or probably worse than farm animals. Sorry about that the introduction went awry due to my inability to hide my affection towards mere mortals.

Back to the topic we were discussing, let us all try to portray a picture in our mind. Imagine a man leaving for work in his slick executive attire in the morning driving his executive car, he then dwells with people similar to him both physically and mentally in a lavish concrete building, a similitude to success and the stability that paid off after the years they put in to reach such a state. They then adapt pretty well with things like pollutions/traffic jams and the need to party everyday after work as a way of release, of self-fulfillment and escapism and then come back home at the wee hours of the night.

Knowing that we mentioned about individual perception, some almost instinct-ly would go, ‘Oh what a glorious/successful lifestyle!’ Or some might see it as an occupational hazard where one has to sacrifice himself in order to let’s just say buy more lavish items one doesn’t necessarily needs but for the exception to adhere to one’s superficial desire to act as an encouragement to continue with their current ‘meaningful’ life. Some might also see that as, well as we see it: A façade, a beautiful, astonishing painting lying in the center of a mountain of stinking waste. In other words a pretense that is so deep of a pretense that the individual fail to see his own sense of pretenses.

On another note, we aren’t merely talking about careers. We here are questioning the whole works, the system, the way of life, the education system, the syllabuses, the self and everything else that perpetuates and makes on realize of the thing we weren’t aware of before.

Man as computers, as robots. Are man robots? We certainly know that men are able to live life like machines. What is a man’s goal in life? What is the reason of a man put into life in this currently sad not much to say world? What is man? What is life and what is the ideal life for man? We did mention self-perception as you can see again and again. Could that be the answer?

How is working 5 days a week like a robot—going to work at the dawn of light and coming back when the darkness of night has overwhelmed the whole atmosphere; exhausted and drained from the same unproductive routine and instantly falling off like a heavy sack of nothingness into one’s bed and having 2 days they call weekends for yourself and your family to somewhat keep you functioning and going with the cycle called life?

Who was the person responsible for the creation of weekends and weekdays? What an evil cycle of manipulating people into keeping them hopeful and moving. These days’ people’s goals are merely to get to weekends and that goes an as a hope or at least as something to look forward to; Like a light at the end of the week (tunnel). The balance of life has never been as critical as it has been today. We have mindless people wandering the earth doing mindless things.

Who cares if this appears extremely whiny or disobeying or whatever you might have in mind? Well that’s right, you do.

Why don’t you take away my soul and install a chip in my body and give me no choice instead? Instead we were given a soul and a distasteful and almost a taunting amount of choice.

The stupidity, the corrupted mind of man and the short sightedness of previous ignorant leaders that has plagued the world are reigning as they have planned or hoped for. The funny part is history has an almost certain tendency in always repeating itself.

In chasing insignificance that one sees as significant, all light and peace has been thrown out and all we can do is adhere to this stupid dream that turns man into slave for nonsensical, petty goals and most of them involves being able to impress THE dim-witted people that were responsible to uphold sheer stupidity as what they deem as success and greatness. Now we have even imbeciles trying to impress stupid people and fellow farm animals abiding and ending their life in realizing this phenomenon of what we shall come to know as, ‘universal stupidity’.

All of these prestigious leaders with their programmed minds and penchant towards insignificance play the role in lowering the quality of life and making people sign a treaty of enslavement and trap them into lifeless, mindless beings.

How is a man to achieve self understanding, when the environment and the expectation of society is manufactured delicately in a way that the only way he is able to find meaning is to jail himself, lock the cage and throw the key away?

There are idiots like us who are rebellious and unhappy with the state of this almost machine/ computer like life. Then there are the achievers who regardless of their well being continue to strive in order to become someone in society and finds a wife who deems the same and produce more life into this glorified world and again strife to provide their offspring’s with what they depict as the perfect life in their journey towards a happily ever after life. Admirable nonetheless. They would probably say they had no choice, a reasonable argument that even we seem to agree upon. For all you know it was us who said that in the first place.

Time and time again we come to question, surely man has something more significant to realize? That too comes back to individual perception and now there is no convincing of people; hence the proof of choice. The individuals today are all innately born puppets ready to adhere to mock their souls by restricting it to lifelessness akin to an inanimate object.

This too is written in the assumption that people are equal but every Tom, Dick and Terry knows that’s not the case. We are different and the world certainly is not the fairest place to live in. Of course that too is an understatement.

Don’t you worry about us lot, perhaps you might think we share the same goal as you as in trying to impress and get recognized by human beings. Surely you are mistaken, we do not dream to achieve such dreams. To do so would be like trying to gain respect and recognition from a stray animal.

The mind is a powerful thing it sees things as how it was programmed since the beginning. It takes a sound, curious, brave, intelligent mind to go against the stride and waves that would probably overwhelm beliefs and faith.

For we have forgotten, and so we are forgotten, we have not seen the signs, we take many things for granted and are unaware of a lot of things. For who are we to say, we too are the same, on the other hand we are trying to say, we the people should be more than mere people.

Discordant Constellations

2010-11-25T20:22:00.000-08:00

“I woke up…late as usual. There was something unusual—I noticed something unusual I meant to say; I found a smile on my face. I don’t wake up with a smile on my face! I wake up frowning on most days. No not the days I tell myself that I ought to show content and gratitude. It is all in the mind as they say. I do agree with what they say (at times). Back to the dream, It was a dream I remembered I had a dream:

In my dreams we embraced,

Your beautiful smile blossomed,

As all the plants and flowers around followed suit before you,

Your silhouette alone enough in mesmerizing,

In my dreams you were always smiling,

Our souls intertwining,

Happiness seemed overflowing.

Hand in hand our resolves were solved,

The garden was singing its lullaby,

The green haven emits a serene melody,

Refreshing dews beautifully appeared throughout the greenery,

The pure air brought harmony, tranquility and peaceful memories,

We never felt so much at ease.

The atmosphere both calm and blinding, binding us in ecstasy,

The mind has now accomplished goals, dreams and objectives.

He woke up and sat on his bed still drunk from the sheer joy of what he had dreamt. A few floating minutes passed by as tried to compose himself. He stood up and opened the blinds to his windows. The glaring sunlight gushed in and attacked, protruding in with its light, he sheltered his eyes using one of his hands from the fierce glare and heat it brought with it. He then knew it was an abrupt indication, an intervention, a rude awakening. His innocence and naivety to no avail will no doubt do him any good, but he liked to think it was good to be hopeful, a thought he will soon learn to be hurtful.

He was now wide awake. He was forced back into reality; “my soul sucked dried out, the balls they call eyes were dark and rich with signs of anguish and sadness, the afore mentioned protagonist now walked with his head lowered down to his knees;

In reality, there is no such delicacy,

There is no altruism!

Only abhorrence and degradation,

I found discord in the constellations,

The moon turned black as I shift my eyes to it.

In a vast black sea,

I was surviving atop of a wrecked boat,

Hanging for dear life, going from nowhere to nowhere,

Floating aimlessly, the birds that passed by,

Looked down grimacing and laughed at my failing,

The boat began to wither and I began to shiver,

The weather seemed bitter,

I found refuge in shutting my eyes..”

He fell again into another dream, his mind were focused on something that might come as encouraging and uplifting and so he began a journey into what he deemed as actual reality:

The moon was glowing; it’s beauty mesmerizing,

It glows in harmony; never too bright we inhale its light,

A mere reflection of light, nay not the source of light;

It is said so in the book of light.

A mere reflection but too significant,

As we sat on it,

Our hands clasped and our hearts erupted with joy,

The world appeared less challenging,

No one conniving nor anyone interrupting…

All of a sudden, he heard someone pounding on his door, pounding so hard he thought it would collapse the door; troubled he was his dream being tempered; he opened the door putting anger in his eyes. They hurried in and pushed him out. The huge men taught him a lesson and when they were done, the leader shouted, “Go away! You lazy dreamer and never to return!” they continued to scorn at him, their eyes bulging out threateningly.

Our protagonist went out seeking refuge and solace, positive and hopeful dependent on his friends. One by one they took of their masks and revealed their true selves; on their forehead, it was written, ‘Fuck off!’ our protagonist noticed something smaller and longer written beneath it, he moved closer and read the smaller description, he read, ‘only for the self and no one else if the self has nothing to gain then go fuck yourself!’ with that he understood about them. Similarly, all of his friends had the same words written on their forehead.

He continued walking until he couldn’t take it and dropped to his knees; he lifted his hands in the air and moved it to his back and reached for his shoulder blades. He proceeded to pull out two fierce blades, looking sharp to its core. From that day on he was wary with people and the mask they sew on their faces.

His journey continued on and on until he reached deep into the deepest forests. Until one day, he came across a magnificently huge tree. He looked at it and immediately decreed, ‘this will be my new home.’ He began cultivating it into his house, he brought up pieces of wood, sticks and other materials high on the great tree, he had to climb up at least 100 meters up to built his nest where it was nice, safe and comfy. He used his blades to carve and shape the woods. He did this for more than a couple of months diligently with very little sleep.

Finally when he was done building his home that could house a small family. He finally felt he could slumber comfortably without any worries and entered his bedroom to get some long awaited sleep.

Before he slept he said to himself, ‘I sit on the moon from afar and see; you rejected me like the sun’s scorching heat. The moon is white and so are you; but light and skin is not the same thing, your fair skin does not make you a nobler being. White can be pure, white can be clean, but whites are mostly evil beings.’ Then he drifted off into becoming a different being:

I found strength in myself,

Hope flourishes through my chest,

My spirit overwhelmed by self-worthy,

Alone I stand with capability,

I need not to be accepted,

For I have acceptance and you misguidance,

I am free now in my dreams,

Though I dread and I continue to fret,

The moment of awakening,

The eyes opening—the trials beckoning.

Coherence/Incoherence

2010-11-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

Verily look at me, I descend from the heavens, it is fate that I am above all of you, my fair skin radiates in superiority! My fair skin likens me to the angels in heavens, bow unto me people with iniquity! This is my world, I enter the holy place with a vibrant light of faith enveloping me, mesmerizing everyone…bow unto me and praise me for I am better than thee. And these were the thoughts that went through their minds as they entered the house of worship covering themselves in make believe piety.

Get off the throne, u filthy drone, who gave you the permission to act as the honorable one? Wipe of the slime dripping from your face but reality comes and shoves me to my place, this is your world and I am the slave.

The crow then came, and then he said, ‘I am a crow, I am vulturous, I am ravicious, I do my job—you do yours; contemplate... intelligence and stupidity are both yours.’

It was 2020, it is now, it is distant, they make no difference—the so called intelligent people, the bourgeoisie they carry a known trait. It made them successful in the eye of their believers. They lie and deceit but still that’s not their main trait. They are selfish creatures. They steal from humanity and chase for deluded supremacy.

The ‘lords’ they pray in ‘khusyukness’ in their kusyukness apparently other peoples focus and concentration aren’t as important, for they chant out loud and make obvious their ‘religiousness’, for others to hear their voices instead of their own voices. Once again a show of their main trait, the self above everything else, selfishness knows no bounds and they glorify themselves even in prostrating.

I had more than I can handle, I had enough of this, I need release! I was shouting in my mind. I thought the same has happened and as usual my cry vanished in air. I was glad I was mistaken, A few minutes past I see a luminous figure arising in sight. It neared me with its monstrous wings—it took me by its wings and carried me into comforting dark oblivion. Sadly it dropped me back into the land of crazy people. Thankfully, What I met was no man, it was a thin cow awaiting death.

I was peeling an orange and giving it to the cow, it stood up and started eating heartily. I too was happy; I was bringing joy to a living thing. I peeled another one and then another one as it was getting more accepting with each fruit. The cow now grew bigger and looked healthier. Though after a few precious minutes, the cow then suddenly fell and it’s tummy stopped moving. I overfed a cow with oranges. One half of the dead cow turned into sophisticated mangosteens the other into a packet of milk. I took them back home a gesture of putting food on the table.

Your smile wide, almost invading, almost crusading through the doors of the hearts but your eyes are so dark, when my eyes lay lights to your heart all I see is a dry vanquished path, awry the heart has gone weary awry. They’re complacent of their deeds, they’re happy with their creed, the devil lives fornicating in their skins, these men! Are the devils representatives.

The guys in the front row, with their acts of self piety, they stand not adjoined but with gaps amongst them. The devils in between them were named separation, racial segregation and fascist pigs, arrogance, ignorance and the list goes on. All of them rooted from pride and stupidity. Stupidity in piety; I used to hate people, now I hate myself for being of the same species.

And then the snake came, it said, ‘I am poisonous, I am venomous, I am silent and I come suddenly, I attack silently, I learned all this from man and still man is and had always been better than me.’

Hey! Look at me! Look at me! I am pretty piety, why don’t you say something nice about me?

A realization dropped heavily on me, people’s logic and reasoning are beyond me. What they think and believe in is what they think and believe in. Only few have the gift into making them see how they connive themselves into transgressing deities. For now all he can do is strive naturally and hope to accomplish knowledge and experience wisdom and the art of understanding.

I am a little sick, my mind is numb, the chair I am sitting on started rocking by itself, instability caused the chair to rock, instability with a disability, for what it’s worth, life does revolve around dependency and inability.

Beautiful world

2010-10-28T21:35:00.001-07:00

"America touts itself as the land of the free, but the number one freedom that you and I have is the freedom to enter into a subservient role in the workplace. Once you exercise this freedom you've lost all control over what you do, what is produced, and how it is produced. And in the end, the product doesn't belong to you. The only way you can avoid bosses and jobs is if you don't care about making a living. Which leads to the second freedom: the freedom to starve." Tom Morello

The quote was longer than 140 words and FB only allows you to write up to 420 words; hence I had to come here. I felt obligated to post it...for myself. And since I am posting it, I thought why not insert some of my own thoughts, right?

Not only in America, most probably the whole world. This is the real scenario, the apartheid towards humanity. We are so deep in this man made mockery that the younger generation would innately think that this is life as it is. Maybe it’s just me, you might think that I am lazy, but maybe I am sleazy but if this is life and the only choices it gives, I don’t see any real meaning, maybe enslavement towards the corporation (indirectly of course). The people on the other hand enslaved towards their material desire, I only see depression and malignance laid for me. But really it’s just me, you don’t have to concern me, surely I wish to find truth in me, in doing so I would find freedom and peace within me.

I know people dislike this from me, ‘maybe it’s just jealousy!?’ I hear hearsays, Well don’t take it too seriously? It’s not that I am asking you to agree, this is the information I agree and this too is my decree, as you can see I have fun with words and vocabulary.

This too reminded me of a cool video clip, enjoy and have a good weekend. I also reminded to remind myself to read the ‘book’ ordained to me.

Mind in Dark Mines

2010-10-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

When the self is distressed,

Heavy pounding comes across the chest,

When the mind is depressed,

It dresses black with protests.

When everything points to a certain way,

It is difficult to look the other way,

Depth and wisdom seems so far away,

Truth and freedom lies distance away,

People all over triumph nonchalantly,

People all over live unevenly,

People all over cover their miseries,

I disagree, you look oh so merrily,

My heart beats but weeps of insufficiency.

Poverty of the mind,

Hunger of the soul,

Tantrum conundrums,

Frightened the scoundrels…

Heavy the burden,

People, they don’t seem concerned,

Neither do they concern,

In surviving, you remain mortifying,

In the name of survival,

You truly are the devil’s scrotum.

The soul shouts,

The heart screeches,

The creatures beseeches,

But inside all remain helpless,

The self cries,

Helpless and dependant,

Beat up and rotten,

To the eyes of the world,

He rather be forgotten.

The flesh tears,

The bones try to bear,

Blood, red in pain,

Oh my, life’s strangling,

The breath seems to weaken,

The soul gasp as the mind goes mental.

Earth shattering,

Earth quakes and its entire kin,

Come together and disrupt my sleep,

Asleep and awake both depressing,

Stop lying to yourself,

Make yourself feel better,

Positivity you help no longer,

Positivity, stay with me and let’s lie to one another,

Positivity come, let’s look positively at the world’s atrocities.

Cursed with this expression,

A gift of enlightenment,

Curse or enlightenment?

accursed to enlightenment?

Both,

But the minds needs some nourishments,

The mind is craving for more wisdom.

The soul is pale,

The soul is stale, from appeal and longing,

The soul misbehaves approaching shortcomings,

Disregard this tale, too troubled and confusing.

If you’re not the one bearing,

You might as well stay concealing,

The soul is pale and so is this tale,

It appears proud in revealing malnourishments.

4

2010-10-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

Girl next door,

None had to say it but she transcend refined,

Her features were art, I couldn’t find fault,

Soothing to the eyes, relieving the heart,

Surely she must be as wondrous inside,

I kept on eyeing and started dreaming,

Suddenly I witnessed her walking,

My feelings too stood up and went strolling,

The world didn’t move a bit,

The world kept circling,

Selfish feelings, selfless feelings

None has relation with the world revolving.

Amidst the confusion,

Where one stands stagnant,

The soul stands deficient,

The whispering subtly begins,

Awakening the self within,

The self needs reasoning,

You guys are just so mean,

People, why so mean?

He spent years and lives to impress stupid human beings.

I see the old man grinning,

The old men, aren’t they misleading?

I look up for wisdom,

They failed providing intelligence,

I thought of learning,

I left with doubt feeling demeaning,

The old men pursuing teenage dreams while dying,

The old men sad and very disappointing,

I looked for philosophers,

All I met were worse than kids in diapers.

The people backstabbing,

The children dying,

The poor suffering,

The rich suffocating,

Their wealth beseeching,

These Tyrants, so corrupting,

The world keeps circling,

Obvious to what’s happening,

Till the point of reckoning,

No one seems to be beckoning.

I pray for wisdom, I seem to be lacking,

The world ending and I still walk wondering,

The people point fingers still revolting,

The world is ending, ‘people stop hating!’

The man who said that ended up dying,

Killed by the pointing fingers and society’s frowning.

Ramble-Shamble

2010-10-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

As usual I’ve been wanting to write and update my blog. I am either too tied up or involved in some event or when I have the time to write, I don’t feel like writing anymore; though I did say to myself that I have plenty to write about a lot of stuff. I jotted them in my memory, an apparent mistake. Now I only vaguely remember some of the stuff I wanted to write about. Well less pressure I suppose.

Work has been awful if it safe to say, if not I take it back. Wait a minute; it could also be that it is me that feels awful for… I don’t know, not being able to discover my true passion or something like that? What if I just don’t like to be confined, enforced or abide to anyone’s demand and rules? A picture of a lazy douchebag appears on your mind? I was actually thinking amongst the line of a wild supreme animal like a lion/tiger/dragon/unicorn that cannot be tamed. The funny thing is all these animals in this modern world has to eat and a family to feed. It hunts by being a powerless slave to the system. Pathetic! Hipsters, here is where you say FML!

Ah! A reminder—I wanted to write about existentialism and how there is no such thing as you are wholly in power of your own destiny. You have very limited choices. For example someone throws shit on you and the choices you have is whether to clean yourself or leave it. Like, what kind of choice is that? I don’t quite remember my other arguments but I am hopeful to write an entry on that or not.

On a different note it shows on how we can actually do things reluctantly, smile and be in that involuntary state till the end of the day and then sulk and try to get lost in a world without anything close to stressful, enforcing activities. Sometimes you are lucky and even when you are your thoughts just lingers and constantly reminds you of what you dislike most and afraid of. Like an alarm clock only this time the agitating alarm clock is attached to a time bomb.

When I was young I have always enjoyed being alone most of the time and being one with nature. Climbing on trees and sitting on roofs and just looking at life. I don’t know if I thought of stuff like life and all back then; I was too young then. Having said that I am also aware that I can’t live without my friends, well I actually can but I don’t want to is what I am saying. So this paragraph summarizes that I like being alone and also like company and friends. Success.

Right now I am alone in the office with no one telling me that I am late in submitting something or in doing some task. I just am enjoying the quietness and the short period of freedom from people. But a voice in my mind won’t shut up and keeps telling me, ‘you better get this done or get your ass shouted at’ every few seconds. Be gone annoying voice!

I just don’t like people in general. The smart ‘gifted’ ones feel that they have this obligation in shaping the human mind in making the world a better place, so to speak. The rest are like sheep’s following and adhering to rules rather obliviously as if this is how it was/is supposed to be. It saddens me that people are not encouraged or interested in finding their true selves and in the actualization of their intelligence bloom like a fresh flower.

All I see is powerful men who are paranoid and unhappy trying to prevail and maintain their assumed happiness by ruining other people’s freedom and lives. I guess it is safe to say that the devil in us did do a great job. What we have now are idiots and more clueless idiots—like sheep’s aimlessly misguided by bewildered dogs who are controlled by anxious, pompous herders.

That’s enough of ranting I suppose? I actually wanted to post a clip and obviously got carried away. The clip is from Salyu. Although I might’ve done so in my previous entries and even if I did, this is a different version and an amazing song. So enjoy and have a good day.

Floating Not Walking

2010-09-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

When the eyes first met,

A smile appeared on earth,

Sheer existence, a blessed manifestation;

I sense intelligence,

As I dreamt, risking negligence.

A pretty girl always pleasing to the eyes,

It is not a surprise she’s always in the want,

But until you get to know hearts,

All are superficial and one dimensional.

Hungry I am to confine in her,

The creature in the chest blazes like a night forest on fire,

Hoping to get close and feel your heat within mine,

Now enjoined resulting into a great sign,

Rest of the world will not determine,

The two souls hath combine.

Girls deciphered as soon as they’re seen,

Not stupid, you guys aren’t tough to read.

She however is unlike—yet radiates in light,

Pure kindness and tolerance,

Men all welcome with obedience.

Gentle and tender, my mind speaks of her

Optimistic in trial even mistrials,

Such are the effects,

When dreams escalate,

It turns reality into a façade.

The princesses and the queens should not take this to heart,

It is too late to remove the creatures settling in your heart,

The girl in my dreams however possesses a pure heart,

Such is the dreamer, who has thee in his art,

Who has lost and depart,

Who is of no use when split up.

Man in the mirror (yes, very original right?)

2010-09-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

This has to be one of my bad pieces. I started off really angry hence was in the mood to write, but after that I wasn’t as much. I felt like I had to finish what I started hence I came up with what I have…

The young men, the holy men all gleaming with light and protruding great vibe, emanating the path with every step they take. Often when I am adhering, performing my obligatory duties, a voice in me says you’re better than thee, so often in my duties I bicker with my voices instead of focusing on my duties.

I am not as religious as I ought to be, what I am now I am open for knowledge and wisdom. For those who are religious and perform and prostrate and follow the sayings vigorously, to them lies a bigger test, a challenge so delicate and difficult, they fail to realize. They fall, oblivious—so subtle it’s ordeal, they fall without notice.

Remarkable! They’re doing as they are told, but behind their souls lay a great king that dominates and sits with esteem. They now are the best of all people, to perform everything ordained to them, they no longer are capable of sin, they paint their faces with purity of light, the only light they emit are lies through their eyes, they no longer are capable of fault. The irony is they’re focusing too much on their good deeds.

Dragging their words in their speeches, their words and sentences prolonged and beseeches, they pause to see whether they radiate the spaces, making unnecessary pauses waiting for loud applauses, a demonstration to the self of self importance and conceitedness. The whispering voices applaud them into forgetfulness. Like a snake shredding its skin, you slowly but completely change your road to enlightenment.

Righteous in good deeds yet he walks the streets with abhorrence, accompanied by a friend called arrogance. The right eye transcends with piety, the left with self-righteous deity.

Stop looking at yourself so greatly, just because you refuse to agree, doesn’t make you a man of glory, can't bear of meeting smarter people, but don’t you see? There will always be someone more enlightened and brilliant than thee. Beyond your holy dresses, all we see is discordance and condescend; your eyes can’t stop from demeaning and belittling, your soul hath lost to the whispering voice of the vices.

There is no use in debating with your kind; you look at yourself praising and boasting, unaware of us appraising your strange gestures.

Looking at the mirror with your hands clutched on your sides, looking bigger, taller and wiser. Lying to the self, a requirement before lying unto others. Wake up and smell the stupidity in your hostility, don’t be caught up in man-made deities.

Easily threatened, fear of being disproven, disliking questions, forgetting that humans are always of ignorance, but we continue to belittle and create distinctions, creating separation between fellow creations.

Little by little the whispering voices turns you into a person into you once were not. Every good deed you do, tells and reminds you superior you are, every extra deed reminds you on how better you are, every good deeds turns you into a good person whereas inside lies a rotten one, for every good deed turns you into a pompous and arrogant creature, wake up you fool, you’re merely lucky, not cool. Stop looking at others like they’re the fool—you fool the mirror said unto me.

4 Rules to Abide in The Movies

2010-09-14T00:23:00.000-07:00

In most major cities, such an issue will probably never arise. Every time, fine almost every time I go to the movies I end up getting severely annoyed and frustrated by the insensitivity of some people. Oddly enough, it’s the same all over the city.

At first I was sure that people were aware of a cinema being a public place and everyone paid to be in the movies; I am not so sure anymore. How can people be so self- centered and conveniently disregard others?

So here are some basic ethics/ common manners you should’ve already known as a human being. It is really unfortunate that a basic thing such as this that even a child would know to adhere has to be brought to attention and highlighted as a reminder to fellow Malaysians so as to not bother others and ruin their movie experience.

Here they are:

1. Do not talk in the cinema, period.

2. Silent your phones and once again shut up.

3. Please do not kick/shake the seats in front of you with your legs. Yes, they even do it when there’s someone sitting in the seat in front of them.

4. Do not read out every single line that comes out on the screen i.e. at the end of a trailer, ‘Coming soon’ like seriously? Do you need to read it out loud and share that information with people?

This may not seem a big deal, but when this happens almost all the time you get to questioning that do Malaysians not possess even basic manners? And then there are those who even when you ‘shoo’, go on talking as if nothing happened.

So yes despite sounding like a douche, I am glad I expressed myself and conveyed this message.