Vegetarianism

I always thought and still think that being a vegetarian is cool and healthy. Recently I’ve learned that there are certain people who adopt beliefs without any real purpose. I have friends who are so called ‘hippies’, vegans, free thinkers… the list goes on an on. Frankly I see it as an excuse and not a proper conviction.

I say that because one would think, for a person to adopt a new belief, one should have learned, understand and be able to explain their new lifestyles in a manner that is both comprehensible and thorough. Not so to convince and attract others with their beliefs but merely to justify that their actions are well thought of and their reasoning is with a cause.

Jumping to, If you choose to be a free thinker just to do things without any restrictions or limitation then it is not a belief but a form of escapism.

This growing trend though with all its good principles, intentions and advantages has been misconstrued in the minds of fashion victims, trend followers. It gives them a reason to separate themselves from others and look at their own ignorant self as a higher being in society and maybe arrogant enough in thinking that they are unique enough to judge people and elevate themselves.

A little off topic but I feel like saying this, I have said this before and I am going to say it again, judging a situation is different from judging a person.

To all the ‘hippies’ and society outcast wannabe…Just because you separate yourself from the society and dwell within yourself –listening to a certain kind of music, doesn’t makes you ‘artistic’, unique or any special—and obviously, not good enough to feel proud of.

A little more clarification, I have nothing against vegetarians. I know that it requires discipline and is healthy and by consuming non-veg food, gives the person greater self control.

Having said that, according to some people or beliefs, eating meat is prohibited and evil. Some even go as far as saying that all man shouldn’t consume or kill animals for food. Yes, as you might’ve expected I am going to say that if people stopped eating meat, the animals would grow out of proportion and things will eventually get out of control. Not forgetting, that their reproductive rate is rapid.

Now towards a more logical point of view, Animals such as cows, goats and cattle are herbivore animals hence their digestive system can only accept vegetarian food. On the other hand, animals like the lion, tiger and other carnivores, and because of their digestive system can only consume non-vegetarian food/ meat.

Whereas, I am sure people have noticed that animals that can only consume vegetarian food, have a set of flat teeth. Meanwhile the carnivores have sharp pointy teeth that enable them to chew on meat and bones.

Here’s my point, man if God had intended them to eat only vegetarian food then he would have given them flat teeth. Or if he wanted us to eat only meat He’d have given us a set of sharp teeth. As we all know all man has sharp teeth and flat teeth that enables them to consume both vegetarian and non-vegetarian food. Hence their digestive system is able to ingest both vegetarian and non-vegetarian food.

Besides there are certain places where vegetation isn’t available, for example in the desert or places covered with ice.

That’s as much as I can muster up for now, till later. Peace.

Amerika, The way of life?



Well, i just wanted to see if could post up a video, seems like i can! wee haha...and this v.clip makes sense to a certain extent. Okay , and (additional info) due to the fact that my internet connection is like 'siput' i had to wait for quite some time for the vid to be uploaded and 'processed'. Alright, it's done..

Erm it's already Monday btw huhu...

Shiver

My father was a great entrepreneur. When I was a small child, there were many things that I didn’t understand about the world. Now that I am older I figure that, usually stuff that comes easily are things we take for granted. I started realizing that when the cycle of life started revealing itself to me. I began losing things one after another, a few of which I cherished more than the other. But the great thing is I always got replacements. I remember talking to a friend of mine who at that time was having an unusually bad deal with life compared to mine. He wasn’t able to do many things, from gaining knowledge to procuring a normal job because of a certain handicap that stayed with him.

“You don’t know how lucky you are.” That was one of Ahmad’s infamous line that I learned to despise exponentially. I on the other hand was leading a normal life, just like everyone else in the neighborhood. Ahmad should’ve gone to live in areas that befitted his position but his dad didn’t want to. He believed that the surrounding one grew up in would make him the man he is tomorrow.

I told my dad about Ahmad, My dad said to me that it was the parents’ fault if a child is not able to do things that they were supposed to. He also said that, “but if you really want to blame someone than you should blame God. That is if you can do so.” After saying that he looked at me like he had done something he shouldn’t. “Forget about what I just said.” With that he walked away leaving me alone in the hall.

A few years had passed and I just completed my degree in a government university. Ahmad congratulated me and then said, “You don’t know how lucky you are.” He said, as if I wanted to hear him say that. I should’ve known he’d say something that would turn my mood foul. And it did tick me off, “What do you mean?” I asked. “Do you have any idea how hard I worked for this? I did this on my own without anyone’s help” I almost shrieked at him. “I don’t know what your problem is man, you’re probably just not trying harder. Everyone’s got problems… deal with yours and don’t be envious at people’s success man.” Ahmad looked taken aback but he nodded his head as if trying to say that he understood. “Maybe you are right Ali.” I knew he didn’t meant what he said. But I didn’t want to spoil my special day, so I walked away.

More years passed, I was now the director at one of my dad’s company. Ahmad my useless friend who didn’t try hard enough in life worked in my company. Surely I was the one who gave him the job that he is thankful for, I figure. No one else would give him a job.

During this time, we were both adults and had our own lives. At least I did. Ahmad still lives with his dad, in the same old house. We didn’t talk as much with each other these days. I guess he finally realized his place in the world. Remember this, whenever anyone says that everyone is equal, you better know that they are just saying that, they’re being deceitful to appear good. People are not born equal, period.

One day when I was in the office and had read this Internet survey on which super heroes were the most realistic…the most favorite of all, I picked mine and as expected the majority voted the same too. Right at that moment through the slightly opened gap of my door, I saw Ahmad walking past my office and for old time’s sake, decided to talk to him a bit. I called my secretary and asked for him. He walked in, he looked poor and ugly as he did when he was younger. I invited him to sit. I didn’t know what to talk to him about. I rememembered that when we were growing up we used to talk about our favorite heroes. So I told him about the survey on the web. Ahmad who was looking a little interested was keenly listening to my explanation. “Who do you think, got picked as the favorite hero of all time?” I asked. And before he could say anything I added, “who else if not my favorite hero of all time, “Bruce Wayne!” I said proudly. “Bruce Wayne! He is strong, powerful and filthy rich. What more can one ask for?” I told him certain with my judgment.

His frame and his eyes were sad and I can tell that he was as bitter as he used to be. It was pathetic, looking at him. I can’t believe that I grew up with this person. One more problem about Ahmad was, he liked reading materials of people who are opposed to…well material wealth. Just because these people didn’t have money, they say they don’t need them. What a joke.

This is what he said about my hero, “If he is powerful and filthy rich, that means he is corrupted and selfish, he can’t call himself a super hero when he doesn’t share his wealth. One doesn’t need to possess powers to donate.” He stopped for a while, looked at the ground and said, “I am not sure if you realized this, but what you just said had exposed your inner self. If that was the subject of your fantasy, it also becomes your goal and your dream. I am not judging you, but I am assuming those are things you want in life.”

Ali looked shocked listening to what I just said; maybe I shouldn’t have been too straightforward with my words. After all, no matter what, he is still my friend and still helps me a lot. He looked at me with his sharp glaring eyes. At This moment the words of poor father lingered in my head, “no matter how intelligent or rich of wisdom you think you are, when you go against a person with a different opinion don’t even think for a second that he’ll be swept away by your logic and wisdom, rather be prepared to be chased away and ready yourself for hostility.” My mind drifted away a little to another one of my dad’s most famous phrases, “Everyone no matter who and what they are, when they have to shit they either sit or squat”…And that makes us all the same. According to my dad.

I had enough of Ahmad, friend or not he had gone too far. I had to prove to him, to teach him how the world works. I wanted to say, “You were fired!” But the words that came out from my mouth were, “you are suspended!” And as he stood up I added slyly, “I already am living that life, friend…heh”

I can’t believe the arrogant bastard did that to me. I only said that to him because he was my friend. Well, you can’t expect others to read your mind not to mention one’s intention. I’ll just take this as a vacation, though I don’t know what I am going to do with the days to come, I’ll try my best to enjoy these few days.

The next day, I got out of house like normal. It would be bad if father knew what had happened. I drove to a park and decided to take a walk. I walked for a few minutes and continued walking outside the park. It was more interesting and less mundane. My stomach started to rumble and I could see a restaurant a few meters away.

I walked towards in and entered. It was not too old and not new…the chairs were green in color and the tables red. I sat and ordered my drink and food. Here I am in a restaurant I’ve never eaten in before. I guess in a way it makes me like experimenting. It feels odd being in a restaurant alone. Though I enjoy being alone, eating alone is a whole different thing. But let’s not get judgmental now. I am just saying that eating alone can get a little too boring, unless you want to fully concentrate on the food you’re eating.

The next second, I snapped back to reality I was looking at this lady who was pulling up a chair right in front of me and sat facing me. She looked at me with a pleasant smile. I smiled back it was something beyond my control, something that I was taught to do since I was small. I think after years and years of training my lips developed a mind of it’s own.

Her face beamed when she smiled. She was in her forties; a little too old for me but there was this air about her. Almost pure and nice, yes, nice…she looked like a genuinely nice person.

“As I walked in, I noticed that you were sitting alone and you look like you could use company” she said smiling, I smiled back. “You could tell?” I asked sarcastic. “What are you selling?” I asked mockingly. I was relieved to see that she was still smiling; it only now occurred to me that things could get ugly, if she got angry.

“Spot on!” she said excited. “Are you interested in buying?” I thought to myself, for some reason I like her. “Erm, no I am not interested and even if I were, I wouldn’t be able to pay you, heh” I smiled. She didn’t.

“So what do you do?” she asked. In reply, I said, “It doesn’t matter what I do or who I am. Since you decided to sit on my table, we’ll play by my rules, Is there something that you feel like talking about or discuss?”

“Oh boy, aren’t we a little too hostile?” she said that with a smile on her face, I smiled back. I didn’t want to but I couldn’t help it. “I know your type, silly boy, you can’t expect people to read between the lines or expect them to know why you’re acting a certain way. You have to be more direct and approachable. You know—be one with the system.” She smiled again after saying that. I closed my mouth and pulled my lips together.

She not only has a nice ulterior but is also intelligent, I guessed. I could feel my defense loosening. She was looking at me and still smiling, I started to think that her smile is now getting a little annoying… I smiled back.

Dark clouds already were already covering the skies when I walked towards the restaurant; it started drizzling a bit when the lady sat across me. Now, it started to pour. It was one of the heaviest in months. Nevertheless I was enjoying every second of it, rain makes me feel a lot more relaxed and calm, the smell too is refreshing, it’s as if the rain and the wind cleans the polluted air and makes it fresh once again. What scares me is to be struck by lightning.

She looked like she wanted to say something. I held my chair and pulled it forward, I even leaned forward. Upon looking at this, she smiled—and I smiled back. We noticed someone staring at us, we looked at the cashier still smiling; he too then smiled at us. She then turned her head and I followed. “So let’s say you want something really bad. Wanting something badly is a selfish act, remember that.” She paused. She looked at me intently this time, not smiling for once. “You think you need it as bad as you need your next dosage of oxygen. Don’t promise it or offer anything to it. Just pray to be accepted for what you are. As impossible as that might sound—because once that happens, you build a bond that can’t be destroyed even by a nukiler bomb, as president Bush says it.”

Her phone rang; it was the ‘Stephanie mills- I never knew love like this before’ songs. She picked it up and a second later, after saying, “ok” she placed her phone in her handbag. “I’ve to go now.” She said smiling. I smiled back. She left and I was alone again. What sort of discussion was that? She was just nagging me all along I thought.

It was still raining. I didn’t like being in a restaurant alone. I thought of the lady and her ring tone. I started to smile. I noticed the cashier looking at me, smiling too. I stopped smiling.

There was this movie I watched, I was in it. I was a poor kid who had a crush. She was quite famous with the other guys, maybe because she had a nice face. The one that makes you go, ‘aww, she looks so nice!’ but one shouldn’t be fooled by looks. I wasn’t fooled though. her attitude and personality was as nice as her face was. Now, to me that is human perfection, almost impossible.

But that’s a different story, the one I am going to tell you now is about her birthday. First of all I was very happy because I was invited to her birthday party! As I was walking home I realized, on the flop side I had to get her a present that would be befitting of her. I went to the nearest mall. And when I laid eyes on it, I knew I wanted to give it to her. There it was, this really nice looking shirt. It was plain, branded and expensive and most importantly nice and suited her.

I know I couldn’t afford that kind of luxury with the pocket money I was getting. So what I did was... I bought a plain, cheap but nice shirt and as soon as I got home, I took my dad’s branded shirt. The same brand as the one I wanted. Took a scissor and cut the logo out carefully. Once I was done I applied some gum on it and pressed it to the one I just bought.

The awaited day had come and as we entered her house, I presented her gift to her. She brought it with her as she sat at the table and to my surprise she started tearing the wrapper open and got the shirt out. And as she got it out, she tried it on, it fitted her perfectly—she looked so nice and so happy. She began to jump up and down now; everyone was looking at her amused. It felt nice and satisfying looking at her.

But the memorable moment, only lasted for so long. All of a sudden, the brand/ logo got separated from the shirt. Damned thing fell off. She stopped jumping. Everyone was looking at me now and I… just wanted to run and hide.

Well anyways the nice girl is now Ali’s wife. I was happy for her though. A nice girl should live befittingly and nicely. My father said to me that I had no honor but he didn’t understand that I had to swallow my honor to survive.

The day Ali suspended me; I had given my entire savings to my dad and arranged a maid to take care of him. I decided that its time to go for a long walk. I would drive to a village where my old friend is a fisherman. He said to me that a life of a fisherman is one of the most thrilling, dangerous and mind challenging.

I also remember him saying that I was like a brother to him so whenever I feel the need I should feel free to go to him and he’d welcome me as a brother. That was his promise. We had a code, when we made a promised, we knew we had to stand by it and we only made one if we were really sure of it.

I thought that I could use some thrills and adventures. I imagine being far away from my current life and in a boat facing a strong wave with my friend. I noticed that I was smiling at the thought of being a fisherman. It might take me weeks or months to get there but I made my mind up and for now it was my goal to reach.

Sleepy Head-ache

“At first I start to feel a little sad, as I continue to go along with it, it makes me feel like wanting to cry and after reading the ending, I feel like doing something bad to myself.”

That’s what my friend said about my blog and the entries in it. Though he only said it jokingly, it occurred to me that the majority who visits my blog are my friends. So that didn’t leave a very good impression…on me and so I thought.

Having said that, I fully understand that I don’t write the most cheerful/ happy blog, but this is how I like/prefer writing it. Writing about intimate thoughts and private discourses are my ‘cup of tea’. I am very much interested in how people 'think'…the subconscious, its spontaneity, and how real, honest, and maybe even ugly and selfish it gets when ones thoughts are in play.

I have no intention on making anyone feel more depressed or sad than they already are after reading my works. So if possible, try not to be. Hence I will still go on writing like this but I’ll try to make an effort on making it more cheerful, less negative if I am able to do so that is.

For a start, I’ll share something that I find really funny. I read this on ‘overheard’ and saved it. The first time I read this, it was hysterical. Though now when I read it again, it’s not as funny, anyhoo, here goes;

“Chick: So, I'm up by Bryant Park, and there are all these cop cars lined up, and then one of them decides, 'Okay, time to go!' and he puts his siren on and pulls out, and all the rest of them following, all their sirens going whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop! And then I hear something that sounds like some guy going 'whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop' -- like, he's making siren noises -- and I turn around, and there's this cop... I guess the siren on his cop car wasn't working or something, so he's on the loudspeaker mic yelling, 'Whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop!' as they all zoom off down 42nd Street. It was crazy!”











Pity Pretty

Today went away almost like every other day. Where you don’t want to think of anything else and just want to unwind and relax. Many pictures and form of relaxation starts playing in the mind now and I get carried away with it. To the extent that I find myself smiling like a crazy person. But once I reach home and thankful for my safe arrival. Thanking God, for things as bad as they are now -- for not getting any worse. And when I think of unwinding and relaxing, I see myself waking up with a headache, dizzy and still with discontentment and looking for a different solution.

A friend of mine whom I am close with, so close that one might say that we have no secrets between us. That is to show the level of our closeness. Often described as a fun, cheerful person and most noticeable for his ability to not show fret when hit by problems. He often boasts about how he sleeps on them. Have a problem? Don’t think about it too much, just sleep on it!

Both of us are I guess, can be considered as a pessimist in which like Schopenhauer believe that the world itself is the worst of all possible worlds because a more worse world can’t exist, so to speak. We just have different methods on dealing or escaping it.
By the way, I disagree on my friend’s way of dealing with his problems because sleeping to me doesn’t come as easily as it comes to him.

So here I was on my way back home, upon reaching the last traffic light. No matter how big a hole in a person is, the thought of having a home to go back to is always a comfort.

“Psychologists have said that they trace pessimistic attitudes to emotional pain or even biological. Argues that depression is due to unrealistic negative views of the world.. Pessimist are often however often able to provide arguments that their understanding of reality is justified.”

We have a disagreement here, that’s all the quote above proves. Ones understanding of reality is one’s right and however they wish to justify it is due to circumstances and their ability to conjure up with one. In which is prove that people think and look at things differently. It is just a difference in opinion not something to be labeled or judged upon.

Viewing the world in a negative eye is in fact reality, viewing it otherwise is unrealistic.

The level of happiness in ones mind is limited and perhaps sadness too but which one gives you more fear and from the two, which would be felt more? The picture of sadness in a person’s mind is more easily evoked than the picture of happiness.

Jumping to a different subject, fake happiness requires a lot of work and many outside (material) things while real happiness requires one to be in peace with his mind and more prone to act on faith.

Without that, a pessimist would say; hunger, sexuality, the need to care for children and the need for shelter and personal security as the real source of human motivation.

Back to the topic, as I was waiting for the light to turn green, I noticed a girl whom I went to high school with. She was a few years younger than me. Though she appeared an old hag, walking with her umbrella and dressed without any good sense of fashion, she was fat and ugly and walking alone towards her home too, I presumed. Looking at her made me want to feel more…lucky perhaps, but it only made me feel more miserable. The world is indeed unfair, no matter how you try to positify it. She looked as miserable as she did back in the days. I hoped that it was just my eyes, and it probably was my ulterior, shallow stereotyping.

I couldn’t muster up what and why was it that I felt at the moment. Was it hate, love, sympathy or just lack of discontentment? Right then I felt like being at the lowest level of an absurdist, not because I failed to find the meaning of the universe but because I failed to realize what I was feeling. It was a mixture of feelings I thought and so decided the best remedy at that time was to try and sleep on it.

The red light seemed like eternity I began to think of all the adult spoiled brats and snobs that I know, whom I am friends with. Everything that revolves around them if not pleasing to them is evil and their shallowness vast and knows no boundaries. And I thought to myself, if I were to turn into a pessimist then they were one of the reasons. The light finally turned green.


Poking through the Poke-able

This here is a discussion of ‘knowledge/ information’ in general. I am aware of the branches of knowledge and the classifications. This entry also has little to do with epistemology or skepticism. The beginning quotes too may appear to have dissimilarities with the subject discussed.

“The entire universe and everything in it is driven by a primordial will to live thus resulting in all creatures desire to avoid death and procreate.”

However someone else suggested that, “People and animal really want power; living in itself only as a subsidiary aim -- in defense states, people and animal willingly risk their lives in order to promote their power, most notably competitive fighting and warfare.”

Over the past century many events have took place, historic moments have occurred in terms of conflicts, natural disasters, new inventions, productions and the changes that took place in rapidly growing industries and countries. We have seen it grown exponentially everywhere around us. As we move forward in this frenzy trying to not get lost and keep in track of the worlds changes it makes the world appear as if it’s spinning faster and faster each day.

In this time of development and advancement parents have failed to educate their children about the purpose of education or on why they gain knowledge. It won’t be of surprise if their kids join in with the majority just like their parents did. If all we want from education is a comfortable home, a posh car and a decent job, then we fail to realize the purpose of our creation. School, teachers and the education systems have failed.

For instance the media portray bad guys dressed in sleek suits, designer’s clothes living in a mansion with luxurious cars and surrounded by many friends. And in the viewers’ eyes, it gives the impression that they’re truly leading a happy and successful life. Which become a goal and a misconception of the meaning of happiness. The point is, these shows and information by the media program peoples mind into false beliefs and consequently affects the younger, vulnerable minds.

It is also sad realizing that the mind of people can be manipulated so easily. Just make the majority believe so and you’ve won the game. Just like how Edward Bernays used the media to manipulate the public opinion using the psychology of subconscious through advertisements.

In relative to the subject, if a drug lord and a professor attend the same function dressed under the same dress code, are they both equally educated and noble? The mindset of determining people from their outer appearances is inaccurate and shallow. No doubt about it that it gives the wearer confidence and the feeling of being accepted and perhaps even more equal than others.

This proves that the western ideology that we have adapted as our own is only effective in differentiating the poor and the rich and most probably, its initial purpose was to separate the nobles from the poor.

Whether or not you realize or agree to this, we are already re-living the old Greek lifestyle of the ‘master slave morality’. Whereas good is: wealth, strength, health and power and bad is: poor, weak, sick and pathetic. As much as some might want to disagree to that, that’s not how it is today, at the back of everyone’s head that mentality is already engraved in.

People with knowledge discriminate against those who don’t have any or those who possess lesser than them. Knowledge these days represents wealth and elitism. Sure, there’s a need to be elevated in everyone for knowing information that others don’t but that is not the prize but a challenge to the one who hold expertise that other’s don’t.

Having said that, I am guessing it is safe to assume that knowledge too can be good and bad.

Finally, having carefully thought of this idea, I come to realization that not everyone has the opportunity to gain knowledge. Circumstances and aspects such as poverty, war, bad neighborhood, matters that disallow one to gain knowledge are inevitable.

In addition to that, one cannot bring him-self to a different stage of life if he hasn’t yet fulfilled his fundamental needs. This is derived from the theory of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Though only a theory, judging from experience and the experience of others, I think it speaks for the majority people of the modern world.

In conclusion there will always be divisions of classes within people, and discrimination, there is no escaping it. And that life in itself is mysterious and has a way of its own in doing things. Maybe with enough knowledge one can finally decipher it.

“There is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings”

Arthur Rubinstein.

Tainted Love

This article on the net caught my attention; I read it recently written by someone concerning the younger generation, mainly about teens and young adults. The article also expresses its sadness on the increase of teenage pregnancy and sexual transmitted diseases such as HIV. However, that part is not included here. This piece mainly focuses on the behavior and thoughts and how it’ll affect the future. According to the post, the ‘writer’ found this piece in a book and has written it down to share it with others.

“To the charming princesses who believe they have found their prince and how wonderful it is when the heart starts to tingles, starts longing and starts to ache in love. To confide in someone and to share all your secrets with, to hear sweet as honey praises that goes deep into the depths of the heart and melts it. You think that, this is what it feels like being alive.

Getting caught up in the frenzy, this new revelation seems to be the answers to all the questions. Oh my, this feeling overwhelms you, makes you want to say that the mind is in the heart because it feels like it has a mind of its own and it feels so right, and who dare question the ways of the heart?

I look at this shallowness, people in oblivion not noticing this temporary heaven that they have discovered. How long is forever? Take a look around, open your eyes young ones. Unless you’re prepared for the ultimate tie, stop fooling yourself with words of comfort and the feeling of being appreciated for the person you truly are. When you yourself don’t have the slightest idea on who really are. Even then, how long is forever?

Young minds, programmed by fantasies and fairytales while growing up, believing in the stories read by their parents night after night. Who’s agenda was it anyway? To make kids believe in falsehood? And that this ‘love’ is everlasting and the line, ‘happily ever after’ engraved in every child’s heart.

Upon hearing words of affection and splendors accompanied by love songs that tease the heart, that connects with emotions, that makes you want to say, 'this song is about me'. They then melt like ice cream in summer and sacrifice themselves in the longing, and in proving themselves, sacrificing ceremony takes place, in the name of the so-called 'love' they believe in.

But not too long after, when a mosquito buzzes and bits one of you on the arm, it comes to an end. Heaven turns to hell, pain takes over and 'POOF' it’s over. Oh chastity, no longer mine, Regrets and hatred makes its entrance, like how extras in a movie appear briefly.

The following days, they miraculously pick themselves up and start over the journey in finding true love and repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

It makes me raise an eyebrow but to you, it’s as if you’re wrapped in a pair of pure hands that promises you happiness and everlasting joy. It makes me wonder, that you don’t wonder, that your other half is as oblivious as you’re. Surely if he knows the burden of words, it would’ve not escaped his lips. For making a princess feel special, happy and loved every second of her life is not in the hand of man.

Oh humanity who constantly look for release, relief and joy. He smokes to find a moment of comfort, he takes drugs to escape from reality, and consumes alcohol to feel free. Always wanting to find escapism, an easy way out. Don’t you see that this is the same? For a moment of comfort and acceptance you put yourself at risk?

For when I think about it, of course its because, when two of the same kind comes together, it is the celebrations of ignorance, idiocracy and the make belief of love”

First of its Kind

Drock: man, why do you insist on blurting out nonsense and saying things that’ll just make you appear stupid? Brosco was just being nice to when you uttered those complete nonsense which also happen to contradict what you said before that.

Manuel: what, don’t you think that it’s fun…? I enjoyed the company and I wanted the conversation to last longer. Besides, we’d get to see how people respond to it.

Drock: well, I think it’s dumb. You know clearly how people will view you after that….right? It would be even harder for you to keep company in the future, if this goes on.

Manuel: I don’t care, bitch. Not now, right now, I am carefree.

Origami: Guys, my head is still heavy from last night and I went to many magnificent colorful places, places that even exceed imagination.

Drock: we believe you, simply because we’ve been to those places before hahaha.

Manuel: Hey Ori, what is the color of light?

Origami (heavy headed): erm, something that lights up the dark? That should be the color of light, right.

Manuel: Goon answer, ori!

Origami: You know what I realized? I like, ‘strawberry fields’ or whatever they call it. From now on I am just going to feel good. Spend all my time on feeling good and spend all my money to feel good. Screw the everyday 9-5 job. Screw the people. My dad told me to enjoy every second of my life, now I know what he meant. This feels so right, I am happy I found life’s true meaning.

Drock: that was a mouthful, despite the fact that you won’t remember any of the things you just said in a few hours time.

Manuel: there’s no use questioning someone who’s numb. Hey Drock, lets go somewhere else man. He answers even when he's not questioned. That’s not right.

Origami: The masses aren’t right most of the time. They’re just followers of fools. Remember guys, there’s only pain and pleasure in this life. Choose pleasure instead.

Manuel: very profound Ori. We are all hedonistic after all. I mean most people whether they’re aware of it or not. I prefer being a utilitarianist. Sounds cooler doesn’t it?

Origami: Ouchh! The sun up there is pinning me down, I feel weak and my head feels like it’s about to burst. I better leave now. This is me avoiding pain guys. See yea.

Drock: alright, later then. Avoid pain while you still can. Bye-bye.
Manuel, look there goes Jin and Joy. Word is, these two are so low on confidence that they seized to care about their appearance and they built an invisible shell on how close one can get to them. They shower though. Try questioning them, just don’t get too close.

Manuel: Guys, I heard that a monk in China chose not to shower. She believed that by doing so, it’ll help her with the longevity of her life. But I think she’s already dead now. Do you think her speculations had any truth in it?

Jin and Joy: …….

Drock
: Ha-ha, Nice going man. They just walked away and hated you. People are so sensitive and full of themselves. Having said that, I think you got too close to them. I told you to keep a distance. They usually respond when they’re talked to.

Manuel: I figured that it would be disrespectful to talk from afar. It was a dumb question anyways. Isn’t it weird that I am talking to you?

Drock: you’ve started questioning me now?

Manuel: isn’t it weird talking to you when you and I are one?

Drock: it would seem so. I’ll be gone in a short time though. I can’t be with you all the time you know.

Manuel: yeah I can feel the effects wearing off already. It gets lonely and dark you know, not having company and when I am with you ideas just keep flowing in and my mind keeps active, the things around me so lively and colorful. Not to worry; I will find you again.
















Manners in My Manor

I remember watching this before. Not too long ago, there were two main characters of the same, one older and the other one younger --Joined by other personalities.

I think I finally understand now; there was no outer interference, no bizarre phenomenon. I was afraid and felt the fright because of the state of my mind / my mental state. The uneasiness and discontentment turned into fear. I couldn’t bring myself to turn off the light in the room. I even had the door opened. Having the feeling of someone watching over me, waiting for the right time to make it self-visible to me and reveal its ugliness. I was almost certain that there was a presence.

Ever since I was a kid, I was fascinated by those flying tins up in the sky. The loud sound it emits notifying its arrival. The blaring sound that once was a disturbance now turned into a norm due to the constancy of it. It seemed so far up, so distance that I longed for it. We all somewhat go for the things that are too far to reach. It gives a sense of motivation and longing I suppose.

I try to comfort myself by telling myself that everyday is a new day and you never know what you can learn or gain the next day. Patience and contentment, those are the two vital things that a man’s got to set as his motto. Be patient and content with what you have. That’s what the book said.

Even when I was small I wanted to escape from reality. I guess that happened naturally as a defense mechanism of sort. My next-door neighbors were a bunch of young stewards and stewardess. They’d come and go almost at anytime of the day or night. They always seemed busy and on the run. I’d just look at them in awe. Sometimes a couple of them came over to our place, they’d tell about their experiences and how foreign men tried to harass them. For some reason I always felt that people on the run who appear to be busy appeared cool and with a mission to do something equally cool.

I have to wake up early the next morning. It’s already 2 am and I am still with my eyes opened. If there was a being, why does this being, being so inclined on bugging me? Not wanting me to have my rest?

I also started to realize that I had a weak mind. Often when I was alone, with no one around, in a confided space-- My fear emerges through the dark and portrays itself. All sorts of thoughts and images come to life. I knew that something had to be done. Nurul, told me that it was a symptom of disorder.

My imagination ran wild, especially when I was trying to run away from something. I’d picture a huge plane crashing on a nearby hill. And that I would run towards it and everyone else just didn’t exist. It was just the plane and I. As I ran towards it, the door opens up and a few stewardesses came out and take my hand. They lead me to the plane with giggles and we enjoy eating the snacks from the plane. All my troubles were forgotten. I was a late bloomer by the way.

I wanted everything I did and do had a meaning and a significant value to it. Ironically most things I did and do proved the opposite. I wanted to find answers but I am stuck without a single resolve. Are my problems permanent and insoluble?

Nowadays when I hear the roaring engine of a plane, I look up at dark sky and look at the blinking lights. I am still amazed, so far away, so high up, always with a destination and a goal, so purposeful and respectable.

Sometimes I wish that a man’s purpose would be as simple as machines.

What difference?

So this guy in a movie said, “What’s a difference between a porcupine and a luxurious car? With the car the prick is in the inside.”

Having said that, I have no qualms against rich people... In case anyone decides to judge that is.

I was at the clinic and the doctor said that I don’t have a fever but an allergy. Before I could ask what, he said that I am still able to work. Having heard that my chest sank and I was so caught up that I totally forgot to ask what I am allergic to. Anyhoo, I got an MC, I guess he was just messing with me. I also got a tiny bottle of nose drops. That was a first, who puts stuff in their nose? I guess I do.

I don’t normally promote movies, but people should watch, “Little Miss Sunshine”. It’s good.

Recently I came to think that the majority is not always right. Wait, before I thought, I watched a documentary and also read about it. So I am not a fan of democracy anymore. I don’t know if I ever was.

I am reading a book that requires me to pay attention to every single word. This also means I have to know the meaning of every word. Troublesome and tiring but the contents are new and educational, compared to the book’s age and condition. We’ll see how that goes. More than often I am more easily distracted with the pile of DVDs at home.

Okay, that’ll be it. I prefer writing stories.











Defeat

Summer time comes again,

Changes everywhere can be seen,

Except for the self who wishes to be changed,

Still waiting for it to alter itself.


Deeper and deeper my roots grow,

Harder and staler is the heart,

Engulfed in pride and ignorance,

Reminiscing the trivial past,

Clueless as before and heading towards the unknown future,

What a gamble this being is.


What is the meaning of this so-called purposeful journey?

When the moral is weak and when the mortal is a mortal,

So lost and confused, dazed and programmed,

Idiotic hereditary traditions, created by falsehood and blind desires,

I am now blind in the light, an empty vessel walking unknowingly.


Sadness and hatred, tears and remorse,

All will be waiting to be fulfilled,

What is this joke played unto everyone.

No answer is needed, this weak mortal is already dead.

Fields of Fields

Sunflower fields glistening and happy,

So vibrant and colorful in the bright sun,

Flashes and glimpses, Imaginary and escapism,

But to no avail reality snaps back,

In the present it is, reality snaps back.


Gaining knowledge and earning for wisdom,

Self-acceptance and acknowledgement,

Getting ready for it to happen,

Backups and plans are all in order,

And then it happens, now I am shattered beyond words.


For I feel, hence I fall,

Cursing the soul’s characteristics,

What is this emotion that changes like the weather,

Happy when I am full, gloomy when I am hungry,

Pleasure and pain makes me desire,

What is the purpose of this satire?


Starving to feed this empty chest,

At the end, during the night,

It feels like filling water in a broken vase.

The subconscious is now hurt and waiting for it’s revenge,

The conscious remains worrying about what to wear tomorrow.

New Age, Old Age..Repetition

Philosopher: A person who seeks to understand something that is not known, that knowledge itself can't grasp.

“By this definition the person who deals with analytical ideas and data alone is a theorist; the ones who deals with normative ideas is a moralist; the person who deals with both and unites them through disciplined imagination is an intellectual.”

Materialism: belief of theory that only material things exist; the tendency to value material things (wealth, bodily comforts, etc) too much and spiritual and intellectual things too little.

Zionism: Racism. Jewish national movement to establish a homeland in Palestine.

Regimentation: Subjection to control; strict political discipline (as in a police state).

Anarchy: Absence of government or control; disorder; confusion.

Bolshevik: An extreme revolutionary.

Caucus: A power meeting of political wire pullers to decide on a course of action.

Conservatism: Tendency to maintain a state of affairs, especially in politics without great or sudden change.

Fabian Tactics: Delaying tactics.

Bourgeoisie: the middle classes, especially the trading classes.

Proletariat: The whole body of wage earners (skilled workers).

Cats-paw: A person used as a tool by another.

Referendum: The referring to a political question to a direct vote of the citizen.

Lip Service: Pretended service, expressed merely in words but not in deeds or in sincerity.

Nihilism: Total rejection of current religious and moral beliefs.

Sovereign Remedy: A very good remedy.

Intelligentsia: The professional or educated class.

Pessimism: Denotes a belief that the experienced world is the worst possible.

Fascism: Authoritarian political ideology generally tied to a mass movement that considers individual and other interests subordinate to the needs of the state and seeks to forge a national unity, usually based on ethnic, cultural or racial attributes.

Rationalism: “Any view appealing to reason as a source of knowledge or justification” in more technical terms, “In which the criterion of truth is not sensory but intellectual and deductive.

Existentialism: Is a philosophical movement which claims that individual human beings create the meanings of their own lives.

Abrogate: to cancel, annul repeal or destroy. To revoke formally.

Adherence: Faithful, the property of sticking together.










Complex

So many things on mind,

All these thoughts black and white,

Good and evil,

Troubling and unwanted like heavy stones,

Proving its presence and the burden it carries,

These heavy thoughts moving,

In a vast black space far away from light,


Where once there was a way,

Now is clogged,

Contempt and anguish,

Ends in vanquish,

Stuck and unmoving physically and mentally,

Dead end and blind alley,

Halted and stopped by the palm,


The hand that obstructs the path that shoves it huge, powerful hands,

A huge barrier evident now,

More and more barriers and obstructions constructs,

No remorse neither humane,

Laughs and Parties replaced instead,


Selfishness and stupidity,

Lack of understanding with their fingers poked in their ears,

But proud nevertheless,

Egoistic and narcissist,

Chasing goals by deceiving the self and others around,

Make beliefs of beliefs,the mind is a powerful thing,


Living life by stepping on others,

using others as sacrifices,

as a stepping stone,

Proud of achievements,

artificial, fake and temporary,

what people perceive as beauty, success have materialized,

Don't you see how good life is?

Adventures of an Adventurer

He staggered a little noticing an object, a full brick heading towards him. His eyes fixed on the flying brick directed straight to him. It got closer and closer, His eyes and thoughts were fixed on nothing else but the brick. He tilted his head slightly upward, looking at it amidst the glaring sunlight. He closed his eyes due to the blaring sunlight and at that moment felt a strong thrust against his forehead. It gave out a loud ‘CLUNK’ as it collided with his skull.

Shocked with what had happened he thought to him self that he always managed to easily dodge any sudden attacks; he paused and reasoned with himself and decided that it must be the cold that he had caught recently and that it was interfering with his senses and reflects. The reddish brick now shattered to pieces on the ground. He dusted the sand from his forehead and resumed walking.

He was in the middle of a journey that had a significant purpose; an expedition/ journey to craft him into a physically and mentally strong person. There were people who were depending on him. He wanted to be strong enough to defeat the evil doers that stole their home, land and even after that still return to kill and torture his people. Most of the young men in his village were caught and killed as they grew older. When he reached 15 his parents thought that it was best for him to leave and decided that he should depart from them.

Though he was unwilling at first, his parents explained to him that they didn’t have another way to ensure his safety and that it was his fate. That particular night marked the start of a new life and a new journey.

His name was Ahmad Pen Bin Pensil. His grand Father loved to write and had a huge collection of pencils. His love of those writing materials were so deep that he vowed that if he had a son he’d name his son Pensil and he was true to his words.

That passion was inherited by his son but unlike his father he was into something better, pens. Pensil loved pens and he too had a collection of exquisite pens.

Pensil was married to a beautiful woman for a few years already but was unable to produce an offspring. So Pensil like his dad, vowed that if he had a son he’d name him Pen. And he too true to his words father named his only child, ‘Ahmad Pen’. At first his friends and the villagers weren’t used to calling him that but they tried to adapt. Later they improvised and came up with a more authentic and a more comfortable name for them to call; they called him, Pian.

Pian now a teenager had long curly hair that reached his shoulders. He was dark, well built and at medium height. He had sharp dark brown eyes and carried a pleasant smile. He wore a worn off grey looking slack which once used to be black in color and a sleeveless top made from the same material as his pants. His only baggage was a bundled up cloth. In it were some clothes, food and his mother’s comb that she gave to him to comb his hair and for keepsake. The bundled cloth was tied to a stick which he carried easily on his shoulder.

His father once said that theirs is a destiny to die fighting. At first he didn’t comprehend it but after sometime he understood what his father said. He had to fight either against his enemies or against his own desires, he was sure that this life of his would be a long battle. And he hope that he’d come out victorious. The thought of his enemy who were always superior in numbers, weaponries and cunningness made him worried but he figured that as long as he could live on there’ll be a solution to his problems.

He always thought about his parents, and his friends that he grew up with. Some, whom were already captured by the enemy or like him, had to escape and leave his family in order to keep on living. He missed his family dearly and this was the first time he lived away from them. He reminded himself that he had a goal and until achieving that he couldn’t risk going back and die in vain.

He often thought of them and feared for his parent’s safety, living their lives under the control of the evil kingdom. No one from his village came close to the enemy and no one had known the face of the evil king. The difference between his people and the enemy was too vast that it wasn’t even a war. It was like a fight between a crippled man with no weapons in his hands against a healthy man with a gun in his hand. No one helped them. The neighboring villages too fell into the control of the greedy and power hungry. Before long their power, and reign kept on expanding.



During his first days Pian had trouble adjusting with his new life but he knew that if he wanted to continue living he had to eat and keep himself safe. But more importantly he had to get used to the solitude and the emptiness that he began to be aware of more and more.

He started by collecting fruits that he picked up on the ground or climbed up trees to pick them. He even managed to find a safe spot on one of the huge trees to sleep in. this continued for almost a month. He dared not to travel too far from where he had gotten accustomed to.

After a month or so he began adapting to the lifestyle and felt safer living in the wild. Nevertheless he grew tired of being alone and being at the same place. He began thinking and contemplated on expanding his horizons and learning new things as was told by his parents.

He came to a decision and started heading in the direction of knowledge and wisdom. He went on walking in the lands that he was not familiar with. Quite sometime later he reached a river and he stopped there to take a drink and clean himself up.

He began to realize that there were people around him and was quite surprised to meet a group of people walking in the thick forest. Unfortunately he stumbled onto some rowdies. At first he was excited about meeting them. It felt like ages since he had last met anyone. He greeted them and they greeted him back by demanding for his money and belongings.

Pian refused and ended up having to fight the rowdies to save his stuff. But he forgot that he was no longer sparring with his friends and these guys were ruthless and determined. Though he managed to give up a fight he failed to beat them and ended up with his back on the ground all bruised up.

Pian was too weak to continue on with his journey for that day. He yanked himself to the safest spot he could muster, almost immediately closed his eyes. In his sleep he could feel his body freezing and aching. The night was cold, the bruised areas on in his face felt like sharp nails poking through his face. His dream was scary and he dreamt of strange wild animals trying to get a piece of him. His stomach was empty but he remained there unmoved, too weak to do anything else.

When morning came he felt the sun shining on his face and he felt relieved that it was daylight. He went to wash himself at a nearby river and drank the fresh water till he couldn’t anymore. Later he went looking for food to feed his empty stomach.

He could still feel the pain in his bones as he walked with his stomach churning badly. He managed to get a hold of some fruits that fell to the ground. He sat down and ate them. Pian then gathered a few more, took out a cloth he had with him and laid it on the ground. He picked up the fruits and placed in the cloth and tied a knot. He was feeling a little better and felt that he had gain some energy from the fruits he ate.

As he went on with his journey he met the same bullies that hurt him the day before. He cursed himself for being so unlucky and for not picking a safer route. They laughed and teased him as they saw him walking. He was too weak to run. And as expected the rowdies again wanted what he had with him. He fought back with as much strength left in him. He failed to protect his belongings again and fell to the ground as the bandits walked away laughing joyously.

This time his body ached more severely than it did the day before. He cursed them and vowed to become stronger. That night, he had trouble sleeping and when he finally managed to get some sleep he was awoken again by the nightmares. He felt really weak and sick but he just laid there, violated by the pain and the bad dreams.

This continued to happen quite frequently for a period of time. No matter when and which route he went the bullies always managed to bump into him. It couldn’t be coincidental, he thought. He figured that he must be cursed and what made it worse was each time he confronted them, he lost to them. Even when he didn’t have anything for them to take they’d harass and beat him up and screech at him.

However as the saying goes, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Pian too became a better fighter and a stronger person both mentally and physically. He began thinking of what he did wrong and how to face the three bullies more effectively. He no longer had the nightmare that he used to. For the days to come he had become more and more efficient and comfortable living in the jungle. Building a fire wasn’t a problem and he even could light a fire using damp sticks. He started eating meat that he had managed to get. He also learned several skills like hunting, fishing, cooking and sewing.

One day as he was traveling further away heading towards the mountains away from the neighboring villages; he remembered on how the people he had met and the people in his village used to talk about the mountains for being treacherous and magical.

As he was approaching the mountain he once again met with the 3 bullies that he loathed. But they appeared to be different this time; they had different expressions in their face. Their expressions were grim and they were just staring sharply as they walked past each other. One of them called out and said, ‘don’t go into the mountains.’ He knew that something was wrong but he didn’t bother to ask and that was the last time he saw the 3 petty thieves.

After that he didn’t encounter any humans. He traveled deep into the thickest forest. The bites from small insects didn’t bother him anymore; either that or he was already immune to it. The thickness of the jungle didn’t scare him anymore. Occasionally when he came across animals that were too strong for him he’d climb up a tree and wait for it to leave...Most of the times he slept and rested on higher grounds or on huge trees with giant branches sprouting out from them.

Finally after weeks of walking he could see the immense mountains in front of him. He walked on, passed a few and stopped at one. It had several huge openings that resembled entrances. It was a cave he realized and as he found out later, there were several more holes that led to somewhere he was oblivious to.

Pian decided to make a small fire with what he could find and with what he had brought with him and as he did that he heard a voice calling towards him. He was shocked at first but the voice he heard was old and gentle.

‘Hey you, Hey you boy.’ he turned around and saw a white figure sitting on a rock. Pian replied, ‘why didn’t I see you before? And yes?’ The white figure gestured with his hand for Pian to come closer to him. As Pian got closer he realized that the figure was of and old man who was fair, had a white turban on his head and had a long beard that reached his belly. He wore a long white robe and despite the dusty cave his clothing looked new and unaffected by the dirt and dusts.

‘Yes?’ Pian enquired again. ‘It is not polite to ask too many questions boy.’ the old man said. He looked like a man who had gone through a lot in his life and he was charismatic as he spoke. And before Pian could say that he was sorry the old man spoke again, ‘come and sit next to me, and before that introduce yourself starting with your name.’ the old man stopped and waited with his eyes closed as if listening attentively.

Pian introduced himself and when he told the old man about his name and how he got his nick; the old man shook his head and almost shouted, ‘how stupid people can be at times and what a stupid name you have.’ He paused and added, ‘wait it might not be as stupid just strange.’ Pian got mad hearing that but he didn’t want to be disrespectful so he shook the thought off his head.

‘Now let me tell you about myself.’ The old man said. Before he could start introducing himself he stopped for a moment, and added, ‘why waste time introducing myself, it’s not like that’s important. It’s been such a long time since I’ve talked to someone. I have so much to share. But not my name’

Pian got annoyed and interrupted the old man and asked in an annoying tone, ‘Whyy? why do I have to listen to what you say old man?’ and as soon he finished, Pian noticed that the old man now had a bamboo stick in his hand. He was sure that he didn’t have one before. Pian enquired with his eyes wide opened, ‘where did you get that from?’ the cave around him began to light up a little. The only replied that he got from the old man was, ‘Bend over.’ He said in a soft tone but in the barely lighted and emptiness of the cave his voice transcended a very sharp, strict voice to Pian’s ears. Pian slowly bent over and the old man still sitting on the huge rock swung the long bamboo stick and struck Pian’s butt. The pain was excruciating, it felt like his flesh were torn But he dared not check.

Pian now seated next to the old man and was listening attentively to what the old man was saying. He sat beside the old man for almost 3 days now only stopping for eating and sleeping. He really had so much to tell, pian wondered where he got these stories from. Though some were boring but there were some that was interesting and fun to listen to. The old man was a good story teller. He spoke of almost everything, His childhood, his teachers, wives, sons, daughters, grandsons and his enemies.

On the fourth day he said, ‘my mouth is getting tired, I think I should rest it a little.’ Pian smiled at the old man and thanked God for that.

The old man then asked about Pian’s reason of traveling alone and his reason of coming to the cave. Pian then told him about why he had to get out from his home and what he wanted to gain in his journey. The old man listened carefully and nodded as Pian spoke. He even patted Pian’s back probably sympathizing him. Finally he nodded again and said, ‘I understand.’ He paused looking a little unsure at first but then said, ‘I can help you accomplish your goals.’ He closed his eyes and appeared to be thinking of something, he resumed, ‘but in return you have to live with me, listen and do everything I say. Secondly you’re only to leave when I think you’re capable of doing so.’

Everyday since then, Pian was occupied with doing the things that the old man wanted him to do and listening to his stories. Every morning he had to jog and find for food. His jogging route and timing were the same and he had to return at a precise time. He had to always stay close to the old man.

‘Come here boy with a stupid name.’ he called one day and as Pian sat close to him, he said, ‘firstly, I’ll teach you to write with, it would be a shame if you didn’t know how to write.

His day consisted of several learning sessions; the old man did as he promised. Pian was happy and felt fortunate that he had met the old man. He felt like he was really improving. And when the old man taught him on how to defend oneself, he learned diligently.

After a few months the Old man said that he was going to teach Pian something important for his well being the old man taught him on how to meditate and its techniques and on the several ways and on which techniques to apply according to what he wanted to accomplish. Pian had to learn and meditate like the old man did. And for a while it seemed like the only thing they did.

It did introduce him into a whole new world and to something that he never thought existed.
Although at times the old man’s request was too much, for instant he’d asked Pian to climb up the cave and gather bird’s nest and when Pian denied, the old man would threaten him with his bamboo stick. However Pian felt better now that he didn’t have to live alone and better still he had learned many things about the world and him self that he was oblivious to all this while, Having the old man as a blessing to Pian.

The old man also taught him on how to be more contemplative with what he heard and see and on his own accord figure out whether it was something he could believe in or not.

But the old man as usual prioritized meditation, he always said, ‘by meditating one learns many things including facing his own fears and getting to know oneself better. When one has reached a certain level he can journey through the worlds and experience many things just by meditating’ he added. Hence, Pian had to practice on his meditation for hour’s everyday.

After what seemed to be more than a year of being with the old man, the old man stated, ‘I think it’s time for me to go home now or else my wife would start to worry.’ Pian couldn’t believe what he heard at first, ‘but I thought your wife was dead and you didn’t have a home.’ He stated in an angry tone. The old man almost chuckled, ‘let this be another lesson to you, never trust what you hear a 100% always contemplate and have doubts about what you see and hear. Pian felt lied to and was angry but he couldn’t be angry with the old man. So he reluctantly with his head down said, ‘ok.’

‘While I am gone, continue doing what I taught you for another 2 months and after that consider your lesson over, and with that you are free to do what you want.’ The old man gently lifted his right hand. Pian responded after a few idle seconds on looking at the old man took it with both of his, bowed and kissed it. He said, ‘thank you’ and just like that the old man vanished.

The next morning, Pian woke up and walked around restlessly and made him self busy by gathering sticks for the fire, making himself food to eat, tidying up the place and reading some of the old man’s note. Once he felt that he was ready to get some rest, he made his bed and tried to sleep.

He was so used to the old man’s presence that he now felt empty and alone. He wanted to leave the dark cave that was filled with bats, snakes and insects. Nevertheless he adhered to the old man’s words and continued with his lessons. Pian concentrated more on his meditation that helped him calm his nerves and explore his boundaries. He was good at it now and could travel in his exploration and learn many things while just sitting on a rock with his eyes closed.

The nights were especially lonely for Pian, not having the old man feed him strange stories and teach him new stuffs. Pian felt sad not having someone to confide in and not having his only friend by his side.

Pian spent more and more of his time meditating and venturing into place he never been before. His master had warned him about going to strange places. And about meditation in which not everyone gains the outcome that they intended. It was like going on a journey in one’s own mind accompanied by thoughts and fantasies.

During one of these sessions he met with a woman who appeared to be glowing white wearing a long white cloak and claimed that she had the power to foretell his future. Pian was intrigued and so she began, ‘as u start to journey out from this cave to make a change, as told by the old man you have to find people who shares the same goal as you do and come up with a plan to terminate your ever so powerful enemy. And so you begin recruiting, you will realize how much you differ from other people and have difficulty dealing with them but you still try to adapt and stick to your goal. Your friends would eventually betray you; you will fall prey to the beauty of women and to the luxury of life that you will forget your goal and die as a diseased filthy man. She waited for his respond and when he didn’t say anything she resumed, ‘don’t waste your life.’

She stood back after that and a very thin old man with balding white hair and a cigarette in his mouth who looked a little like Carl Jung stepped close enough and said, ‘your enemy has no conscience it was a nation that was once tortured. The healthy man does not torture others; generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. If you go against them they’ll deceive, torture, tempt you and use any ways they can to fail you. They’re like the brothers of the devil who has no morals and values and will stop at nothing.’ He looked at Pian’s worried expression and said, ‘your faith will be decided as soon as you make up your mind to fight against them. Pian looked confused now the man then shouted, ‘you will fail!’

Pian tried to calm himself down and concentrated on doing so but now the woman and the old man stood side by side Pian’s surrounding turned into a beautiful garden. It was filled with colorful flowers, brids chirping, cute animals and a stream that smelled sweet. They both simultaneously said in a soothing voice, ‘take our hands and you’ll live a happy life for the rest of your life. You don’t have to go through hardships anymore. All you have to do is take our hands.’ and with that they extended their hands to him. Pian was confused as he looked at them and he was almost mesmerized by them.

Suddenly the old thin man disappeared leaving the woman in the cloak behind. She removed her long cloak and as it hit the ground. Pian noticed that she looked like too beautiful and he realized that she was wearing a very transparent white dress. He could see her round full breasts from her transparent dress. Pian was mesmerized.

But as he was heading towards her he thought about the old man and noticed his surroundings changing once again and he was alone again in pitch black. The old man his master was back and stood in front of him, he appeared to be furious. The old man appeared in front of him and told him, ‘how much vulnerable more can you get my foolish student?’ he shouted, ‘to simply listen and believe in what you hear, have I not taught you anything?’ And apart from the old man everything else was black. He stood there with his white and transcending himself in the darkness. The old man moved his hands a little. Pian’s surrounding changed at first into a green sunny day with great trees and sparkling rivers.

Pian was astounded by what he was experiencing the exact place changed into a dry, hot place. Pian could feel his discomfort and the heat made him sweat a little. As he looked at the old man it changed again into a place filled with snow instantly changing into white. ‘Miracles are not a test, and anyone can perform miracles. You must always come back to your basic and the fundamentals of your beliefs. Do not be fooled by their handy works.’

He woke up the next day fresh and relieved. He realized that it was already time for him to leave the cave. He got ready and once he was prepared he started towards his village. Pian was ready to face his enemies and prepared to learn and experience newer things.