Some

Nah, not so many changes, personalities and characters will they ever change? Maybe a little though the main traits, they still persist and endure. It has been a while and there was so many things going through my mind, so many things I wanted to put in writing that made the feeling of self-importance enter the mind hence again and again I lost interest.  Though seeing that I am transforming petty thoughts into words, I’ve succumbed.

I feel like posting up pictures of plants and other greens that dwells around my house. I lost my camera though; I misplaced it I don’t know where. I have another camera but the charger for that camera is also nowhere to be found.

You know when you decide on something you want to do rather passionately and follow through your interest and you end up spending your time and money and effort? Well I did that and early this morning it all paid off quite the unexpectedly. I invested in buying some pricy fishes of which I hoped they’d grow big and prosper which will then lead me into prospering. In-spite of my empty hopes they all died due to the water pump failing. It will also be helpful to bear in mind that these are sensitive fishes to begin with. Yes I am a little upset, realizing that my ‘long term’ investment perished after a couple of days, literally. As I would and almost written on the details of the terrible way that led to the expiry of my fishes and the collapse of my venture, I prefer to leave the horridness of what transpired within my now, broken heart. Having said that, I am going to save up, buy the same fishes and once again sail through and face the unpredictable ocean-s, so to speak.  

I have more orchids now. If you know about orchids (not that I do) you must’ve heard of ‘tiger orchid’ so I am hoping it would flower soon. Apart from that I have a few wild orchids (apparently they are not so easily obtained hence gives me some kind of selfish self-satisfaction that leads to me thinking of myself as a cool person).  

The cats at my house are multiplying fortunately due to some good caretakers, the house doesn’t smell of cats and to the cats’ good luck, fortunately I am not one of its caretakers.

The news, sometimes I read the news although it is designed to shove your sheep-like mind into believing what it wants you to, even then the news are dreadful and makes me lose all hope in the world (not that it matters). Hence every time I get bored I’d browse through the headlines get depressed and watch something pointless on utube.

Time. I am more and more aware of how time flies and how fast I am ageing. I never in my life imagined I would age to this age, I suppose subconsciously I believed I would just remain in my 20’s. Life is sad and a major part of life is accepting and moving on. Accept on move on whether you like it or not. What a sad thing existent is.

I’ve always love being alone with myself unperturbed. I like aloneness; though at the same time, I love company and the people around me but in the next room.   

These are just some thoughts that goes/ going through my mind. I should write more poetries, they’re more vague and at the same time pretty. Speaking of pretty, I have decided to grow my hair long once again. We’ll see how that goes and just so you know not all of my investments end up in a tragedy or with multiple deaths.  

I like waking up early in the morning although sometimes it can be quite challenging but every single time it is very satisfying. You know, due to time moving too fast and the ageing process. Waking up early makes life more meaningful and my days more meaningful too, at least that’s what I think. Here’s to hoping I wake early for the rest of my days and emphasizing more hope on sleeping early.

I think this much should suffice. Grow more plants and be less selfish and self-centred, I know they mean the same but I was trying to come up with a replacement for the word dumb.

  

This was a poem I read somewhere. I posted something similar to this before though they aren't the same..

"One day a man tempted an ignorant boy

With his money to safeguard against him

So he told him, bring me the heart of your mother boy

And to you I’ll give gold coins and pearls

So he went and sheathed a dagger with her chest

And the heart he took out and went back the way he came

Though because of his excess haste, he fell

And so the torn heart fell and rolled as he stumbled

The mother’s heart called him while being covered with dirt

Son! My beloved! Are you hurt?

And suddenly even though the voice was very compassionate

It was as if the wrath of the heavens have fallen on the boy

And he unsheathed the dagger to stab himself

A stabbing to become an example for those who heed examples

The heart of the mother called him saying, stop your hand

And do not kill my heart twice in the same place,

Stop your hand and do not kill my heart twice in the same place"

Which Friday?

It was the Friday before the last Friday or the one before it. I had postponed this entry for so long I don’t remember which Friday it was. It was a Friday though.

 The slave had to come to work early; He left home close in the wee hours of dawn. As soon as he neared the highway around 6.40am he was hit by a surge of surprise. What he saw made his insides churn a little. The highway he was on was already jammed so early in the morning. People were already rushing to work. Aslam thought to himself, “What in the worId is going on?” He said whilst feeling a little sad inside, for some reasons. The sadder part was he wasn’t exactly different than the hordes of sheep’s.  Then he said, “Well bear with me whilst my thought scatters. How much time do we spend getting to work, being at work and coming back from work? How many years of life had gone? What have we learned and gained? Look at me” he said.  “It takes me more than an hour to go to work and come back from work. I am still lucky because we get to take the company bus and you know; get to nap throughout the journey, if one chooses to do so at least. Travelling on my own to work if I were to drive it will cost more than a thousand ringgit each month.” He whispered to himself, now in the bus while some of his colleagues were on their laptops busy working.

Everyone is now travelling in one direction (not the boy band) the one that presumably promotes stability, wealth and happiness.

How much time and effort, turned into dust, we however remain aghast, what is this meekness, this sheep like adherence. Existentialism, So much power one has of himself? When the simplest act we are dependent on other things; the directions are wrong, depression has sprung, the pain it gobbles up the mind, the soul, disrupting the decision making, the shallow sheeps unable to look beyond the laws of the shallow and selfish society. Time spent in order to buy more things, to pay off debts high as kings, to show others I have a job, I go out during the day, come back looking tired at night surely that can only mean conformity and adherence to the laws stated by the society, Success!

Having said that, the thing that keeps me going or keeps me in peace despite the occasional visit by mr. Depression is a balanced life one where I try to divide wisely and concentrate on all aspects of my life especially on spirituality and not superficiality. I wake up early in the morning not thinking of worldly things and I go to sleep not thinking of  any shallow thoughts/dreams or least try. Perhaps we shall learn from history and look at the people or the civilisation before us who have passed away. What are the things that really matters? I guess I am in many ways, depends on how you look at it, fortunate in many ways therefore should constantly be reminding myself to be grateful.

I end with this verse:

 “The Reality,  What is the Reality, what will make you know what the reality is!”

    

The Promised Future

Ever since we were kids, we were told to look-out for the future. Therefore while we began schooling we were told to study for the future, while we got bad grades, they said you should work harder for the future, they then said, what do you want to do in the future? Seriously, what is all this unnecessary pressure? 

The race then commences, from getting into a good class to getting into a good college, university, field etc. All for the promise of a bright future that is capable of providing stability, recognition, a wife and a life of cherish-able future! Hence we sacrifice our time, wealth and our lives for this promised future. We ignore, mistreat and wrong others; Nay! We have no time for others! We are too concerned for our future; we forget the hands that fed us, mistreat our parents simply because they are a liability for our promised future. 

This worldly abode has changed the hearts into cold hearted creatures. Finally as we began earning on our own, we continue prying into getting a more wonderful future, it starts off with a 9 years debt for a car that shouts out, success! As if that’s not hefty enough we sign up for a 20 year old contract for a house, you know, for the future. 

We then sail down a different journey; a long journey spent paying off debts for the future. All this, whilst ignoring and destroying the bigger home, Mother Nature. We are so short sighted; we cut down the mountains and grow new houses, destroy the eco-system and buy eco-friendly air fresheners. Have we forgotten Mountains encompasses diversity of species, flora and fauna, it contains minerals, water, wood, timber and food. Mountains protect us from strong wind and are an important influence on the climate changes. Mountains also provide freshwater for more than half of humanity, and are, in effect, the water towers of the world. Mountains also stabilize the earth and prevent earthquakes.

Still we tear down mountains so that we can develop buildings for the future, for the people who are chasing their bright future, to be enslaved as they are in possession of their new houses for the future. By the time they pay off their debts by enslaving their present future, who knows what will be left of their future?

Worse still the self is ignorant of the soul and has no idea of the heart and mind; too busy fulfilling the pangs of desires. 

Worst still we have no idea over the creator, too consumed of our worldly future and our endless desires while the society continues to consume mankind’s future. 

To Err

Too focused on the outside, he overlooks the treasures inside, for it has been said whence one has accepted his state and condition, the unfair situation, the good luck and the lack of it, one gathers understanding and through that understanding a sort of wisdom. The underlying problem is we try to find blame when no one should be blamed, when everyone should be blamed, when everyone should be blaming himself instead of blaming others.

The problem is, it is difficult not to care of what other’s think especially when you were raised in a place filled with judgmental human beings. The despicable act of judging grows on you. The point being conveyed is when you stop thinking about judgmental people; you cease to be a judgemental person. Judging is a disease caught by the sick trait of the environment.

Constantly judging the self, his intention and his objectives on the other hand is a whole different dimension. When one concentrates on his every intention, he becomes aware of his mistakes and weaknesses instead of the weaknesses of others, as a consequesnt being more conscious of his being and condition. It is not easy looking at the self from the within. It is not easy to restrict desires all the time. It is not easy always studying the intention on every single thought, speech and action. Sincerity is questioning every move, speech, gesture and intention is almost extinct.

The remembrance of spiritual teachers teaching about sincerity comes to mind. They don’t only speak of it but live it. Looking at the way they live their lives and the internal strength they extant convinces one more that these are gifted beings. Sure to the kings who reign the world, they look like insignificant beggars. However the beauty of character displayed through sincerity portrays what true virtue is.

On a more random note, the part of life where a fate is decided in whichever household it is born into suffocates the mind. Though being more and more aware of one’s limited intelligence and comprehension; a realization comes to mind, it is the community, society, the people that judge, stereotype, classify, degrade and divide. On and on, generation after generation, time and time again, the tarnished system keeps consuming each man’s soul for generations and generations, time and time again, on and on.

 Men are naturally attracted to physical wealth and prowess though excessive love for it has changed and shaped the mind-set of mankind…hence as a result mankind has inherited these values and have all become trapped victims to a transgressing, selfish society.

However, the goal is to draw close to the pious and the people who have achieved sincerity, the ones blessed with wisdom.  Although the world might look at them unkindly and tauntingly, they constantly strive hard for the community, to not be neglectful to the soul. These are the very few who live with what they have and try their best to not prioritize physical wealth. Surely they deserve some respect?

After all we are just humans, weak and fallible, we live for a while and we are forgotten even before the final farewell, the once producing well is now dry and abandoned, it is better to be conscious of the self than to spend life for the recognition of human trolls. Most men are not wise they've continue to disregard the soul that lay beneath the soil. May we be granted the strength, will and the courage to stand against the tides—for the wealth of the soul is a wealth that is whole.

Today

This happens occasionally and it happened again this morning, a car from a different lane, knowing that I was on the lane still drove on and almost knocked into me. Making me swerve into a different lane, fortunately the driver on the other lane noticed and slowed down his car. The driver in his huge car acted as if nothing happened and just drove on in spite of my honking and insistent glaring. They never bother, to them here is a motorbike getting in their way.  

The key is when an individual is calmer that is, he is to understand the state of the world and where the rich step on the weak and get away with it. Anger doesn’t solve anything. The anger of a poor person only troubles himself and not others. Acknowledging the state of the world and understanding how it works will get us another day to survive. The world does not serve the poor, it oppresses them. Yea here I go again, being bitter and spiteful, you say. No I am not. I am just saying it as it is and I am not angry. I was angry that the driver didn’t care for a life and I was angry for being weak… and after realizing that there is no way for impartiality, I rode on.

If only the poor didn’t stick up for the rich and stood up more for the poor. It would’ve made at least some difference. I am grateful that I am still in one piece. I got lucky. Fellow friends, understand how the world works, accept your destiny, and most importantly work effortlessly on enhancing your spirituality; for in inner peace lies all kinds of ease and in enriching the soul one discovers the key to calmness. Let us be more accepting of who we are and pray to be people of understanding and with loads of control over our temperaments.

My teacher once told me, “Don’t fight for yourself, leave that to God. However, fight for the rights of others.”

CTea

The Chinese tea,

Given by the quiet old man,

The ignorant poured all the leaves in one mug,

Unaware of the value of the dried leaves he dropped,

The leaves obviously too much for one cup.

A little dizzy,

Not to the extent of uneasy,

No, not queasy,

I feel so friggin sleepy!

This has got to be one of my toughest entries,

Attempting to write whilst the head is being silly,

Seriously, the head is hefty with the feeling of heavy,

Was it really the tea?

Some floating hours went by,

The old man was there again,

The ignorant saw him again,

He showered his praises about the leaves he gobbled,

“Come see me tomorrow”, he said

“Bring a container with you this time”, he said

More hot Chinese tea to gulp in,

The head had mixed feeling,

Though at the same time felt, “this might be interesting.” 

Provrb

I was watching a clip and in this clip, the speaker said these words. I found it to be pretty awesome hence the posting. I hope it is as meaningful to you as it is to me.  

“The one who is always trying to discover the unknown, he could not even discover himself, he who captured the rays of the sun, yet he failed to fill the void in his life. The one who illuminated the entire world with lanterns failed to realise the darkness within his own heart, if there is darkness in one’s heart, what good is the light on the outside.” -Urdu proverb-

Significant Much

My hair, gets stressed when the air around becomes too humid. I am trying to grow my hair long again. It’s been a few months since I got a haircut though I don’t know if I’ll be able to persevere and you know have it longer. My goal is to see the outcome of my patience. I am obviously optimistic but at the same time, at the back of my head I can’t help but fear it will only be a mess. Imagine being patient for months only to be shocked by the result of my persistence and endurance. Only to be introduced to bad hair.

I woke up tired and tremendously sleepy; nonetheless I was also proud for being able to function efficiently despite the discomfort I experienced. However, as soon as I was in the bus, I got comfy and as usual planned on getting some deep/nice sleep. The driver, despite being behind schedule by being slowed down by the passengers, drove quite well probably because of the amounts of complaints his boss have been receiving.  I didn’t take the proper driving for granted. I slept through the journey for almost a full hour. I woke up satisfied and my day today seems brighter than usual.

It’s almost lunch time and as per my usual fashion, I go out and eat early. Simply because there’ll be less people and more food for the stomach to stomach. Here I am back from lunch, I sat with some students and our conversation not so surprisingly moved to girls hence I had to pass down my wisdom and gave them advises regarding girls and relationships. Of course they were bitter!

I just read an email from work stating that we have to work this weekend. No! Unlike what you’re expecting I shan’t whine and act as you’ve predicted. I am sleepy.

As usual well more than usual I’ve been buying stuffs that I don’t really need and as a consequence have been losing a lot of the money I really need. Please contact me if you feel like donating some of your money. Thanks.

 

 

..pty

How empty, how empty,

People with no identities,

The western culture you impersonate,

You think because you can relate,

They might think you've elevate,

How miserably empty,

“We are just having fun, why don’t you just relax, geez you're crazy!”

If gaining acceptance and respect is through this form…

What else can be said?

How empty, how pathetically empty!

In need of empathy,

For the soul is manipulated and thirsty,

It accepts anything that gives it any meaning,

Little do they know,

The heart is hardened and the soul poisoned,

Mankind is weakened, their goals, only the weekends. 

The Worldly Kings

What are we but dependant beings?

What are we, if not weaklings?

Dependent on the invisible air we breathe,

On the formless water we drink,

What then but dependent beings?

Still we think we have control over things,

When we don't even have control over our breathing,

The ones whose hearts are closed, 

Continue playing kings.

Janguary

Well I am not quite feeling well today. Ergo I relax at home. Though there is not much food available... After raiding the fridge, I found a quarter of left over birthday cake, my brother’s. I took a big chunk of it, I don't really like cakes but then I was hungry, you know what they say, ‘hunger is a hunter’. I am not sure if I am just making that up. I also found a jar of cashew nuts hidden at the end of the fridge's compartment. I ate the cashews out of spite. Now I don't feel too hungry, now I just hope I don't get fat. 

Anyways knowing that I have some house chores to do have made me lazy and unproductive. Therefore I went out and took some pics, you know to lose some of the guilt for not conforming to the mundane, repetitive chores. I am pretty sure I'll regret it but who cares, I'll have to attend to them sooner or later. 

Oh my work place has shifted to Nilai, I have to be on the company bus approximately 7.30 every morning and reach home around 8 pm. I would like to brag about the burden and the getting used to the new routine. Then I was reminded of others. It is pretty common isn't it? Spending long hours traveling to work, spending long hours at work, spending all the money you've earned on paying off debts and what’s available of in the name of stress relief and keeping sane?  On second thoughts aren’t we getting used to enslaving ourselves to banks and society's expectations? What else is new? 

It is necessary to keep life somewhat balanced, you know keep it balanced to your own ability. It might be trying and exhausting but to me keeping life balanced is pretty significant. One has to be spiritually, mentally, physically and financially stable. That's my opinion and something that I envision or you know just being hopeful for. After all I am getting old, and I am old enough to know, you know…stuff.

I've been spending too much money on plants, flowers, fishes, aquarium, stuffs for aquarium...I was assisting my uncle on building our own fishpond. It took us almost 4 months to complete, you know since it was just the two of us and we could only work on the weekends. It feels nice though; having it in the house...not exactly in the house but u know what I am saying, right?

After getting the pond done, I wanted to do this thing called ‘aquascape’, ‘planted aquarium’, or well there are few more names for it. Although, I am pretty sure I messed it up. Fishes were dying, the water in the tank looked dirty and I am not exactly good at landscaping apparently.   

Anyhoo, I think I shall nap a little while I still can. Enjoy the pics.

 

 

Happy New Bleh!

An empty…no I should begin with something more positive. Happy New Year everybody! I do try to sound enthusiastic at times. I have been watching Gaki No Tsukai… I should learn to arrange my words better. Nah, on second thoughts I shouldn’t be too serious. I have always been watching the aforementioned show what I meant to say, I watched the latest one, the 2013 one. Without subtitles mind you. It was 6 hours long and I enjoyed every minute of it. If there is one reason to anticipate the New Year, this would be it. Every few minutes I would catch myself snickering at the computer screen as if I had nothing to do with the world. So yea, the show is sort of an escapism and very much so entertaining. Not for all though I’d add.

I also just finished a book which was the autobiography of APJ Abdul Kalam. It was impressive; I liked the childhood, education and poetic parts of the book. The work part not so much. Maybe because I didn’t feel the patriotism involved in the plot or it could be that I felt that I don’t love my job enough to enjoy other people talking about how much they love their job and how much passion they have for their career. Yes, bitter indeed. Yes, I know it’s the wrong attitude.

I am pretty much bored. Yet I am also feeling quite good for I am free and no one is bugging me. I hope I didn’t jinx myself. Oh let’s talk about resolutions…I am pretty sure it was the same as the year before and the year before that. Though, I’d like to fill my tiny yet congested garden with more plants and flowers. You know because I am all flowery and stuff. The irony.

I feel like I’ve lived for too long to be excited for another year. It’s all about surviving, adaptability and seizing opportunities, at least in this context. I am still trying to balance all the aspects in life as to become a proper being. You know from physically, financially, mentally and spiritually. I believe that a good human being is a well-balanced human being.

I always think that upon writing something and upon adding the letter, ‘I’ I appear so full of myself and conceited. Am I really that self-reflective or in other words so insecure or….I don’t know, again I shouldn’t be too serious nor should I care too much. Though I still would prefer not to appear as like a person who thinks the world revolves around him/her. You know, because I dislike those people. I hope I don’t have to learn about myself as to how I have the same traits of the people whom I dislike. Wouldn’t that be funny? In an un-funny way? Ha-ha

I bought an ice cream for someone yesterday, the person only took a bite and then gave the ice cream back to me. Oddly enough I happily finished the ice cream and yes, it was delicious.

I like being alone most of the time…I don’t think that’s true. While I enjoy the company of me self, I enjoy others too. Only that I am quite picky as to whose. You know, as you grow older one has possessed the ability to most of the time differentiate who are worthwhile and who are not. Also I think I keep on forgetting on how thankful I should be for being granted many-many good friends from different backgrounds and different ages. Again, I should be really thankful for having just a few best friends who’d have my back when I am in need.

p.s. I just got back from one of the big bosses office. What happened there wasn’t very nice. People were bickering. The cause was as usual pride and arrogance. Not a good scene and quite demotivating. Let us hope we become people with true sincerity and humility. It is I think one of the most important and difficult of art/form one could wish to achieve and strife for in one’s life.

That’s enough ranting. Domo-arigato.

Fast Moving World

Fast moving world, fast moving world, what do I earn from you fast moving world? Without the right feelings, direction and guidance fast moving world… I see things changing, evolving and some disappearing fast moving world. Is it just me or are you spinning faster and faster each day. Every day now, I seem to be feeling more aged and older fast moving world.

My teachers, they tell me how to face you fast moving world, they tell me to ignore most of you, I tell them how can I avoid you when I am within you? They then express their thoughts by shaking their heads. He then said, we are people who are more concerned of the soul than the physical world, pay not too much heed to this fast moving world.

High rise buildings in the fast moving world, I see green trees replaced by million dollar houses, you have turned people into a new hybrid slave, you have turned humanity into profit thriving inhabitants. We all love money and fame, mostly we love you fast moving world. You seem, like you’re here and we here to remain forever!

 What is in plan for you, fast moving world? I best fasten my seatbelts fast moving world. You seem more likely to bring about a bad future fast moving world, when all of us are unaware and unconscious fast moving world?

 I was young and now I am supposed to bring about my own young, fast moving world, why? Fast moving world, jailed and imprisoned in this fast moving world, my teachers tell me to ignore most of you fast moving world, my teachers have honed their souls, fast moving world, they don’t fall for your traps fast moving world or should I say false moving world? My teachers have tried and gained victory over you fast moving world. They live in this fast moving world without playing into your rules fast moving world. How can we compare ourselves to the saints’ fast moving world? When we are weak with petty desires, weak with amusing splendors—glamour and shining armors.

 Fast moving world, fast moving world, how much faster are you going to speed yourself fast moving world? Pace yourself fast moving world! Fast moving world, I hope not to become your victim fast moving world. Fast moving world I don’t think I would want to fall for you fast moving world. Desire towards you transforms me into an unhappy being fast moving world, you make both my mind and physical weak with pointless burden and poisonous desires.

I am fighting against myself over all your wonders fast moving world though it seems like I am failing fast moving world, though I keep succumbing to your magnificence and to the hope that you may bring if I am in possession of you fast moving world. I shall not reduce myself into loving you.

 Everyone else, well no one can be bothered each in his fast moving world with his selfish, fast moving dreams and fantasies. All wishes to be a king of you fast moving world, what will be your end game fast moving world? What will be my ending fast moving world?

old&cold

It is cold, why is it so cold? The warmth of accompaniment could maybe remove this cold.  These clothes are old; they’re worn out almost torn as the skin shrivels, as he remains conscious thinking how cold it is and how cold of a person it is making him inside. “Begone! Begone! He muttered to the self”. The man continues to experience coldness, the books dampened, some dried and yellowed, ripped and shattered. The stomach growls haughtily, angry and incessantly demands nurturing. How about some charcoals maybe even some wool? While all is dull, all else is having a ball; while all is having a ball, all is in a ball where struggle is just at the corner by the wall. All dressed in glamour and covered up by a drunken stupor, resisting, disallowing emptiness to enter. 

 All is well when there’s detachment at every stall. Silverwares and gold, encapsuling our goals, driven by ghouls. Relax, don’t howl, there is no need to throw in the towel. They said, you ought to be bold, to capture what you’ve been told, put it on hold, don’t listen to what you’re told, to the old people who are brainwashed by gold, they move to what they’ve been told. As usual, they remain unreliable. Worldly people always in denial, their actions always menial, soon the very people they please will come to disgrace, all these diseases will come to cease, none will continue to exist. The people we follow are none other than our desires who always demands to be pleased.

So cold, where are the trees and the flowers and the cool of the breezes, which brings calmth and peace in life?

The girl mesmerizing the world as she walks by gracefully, he is told of her and goes to witness her only to return sold. His soul is hers. At least for a few minutes, at least until he lays foot on ground again. The girl lived happy and gracefully until she felt like giving man a chance to vanquish all curiosity; then she turned ugly and from that day on, she graced the earth with all kind of doubts and disbeliefs.

Content, satisfaction not just mere imagination, means to salvation not just an invention. Wisdom an accomplishment, derived from sincerity, humility and intelligence. How many possesses wisdom, what is wisdom?

The 'Poor'

If I had a dream, a new year’s resolution, I would want to dream of a time and a place where the poor would be comfortably poor. I would also like to dream of a time where the poor would be intellectually and spiritually rich. This would be a world where strong bonds would be established amongst the poor. A bond and loyalty that is strong enough, that trust would be strong and unity will be formed. When the poor stop dreaming of achieving richness. If such a time were to come, the rich will not be able to mistreat them, walk over them, discriminate against them, look down at them and control them. Again, if only the poor would stop having high hopes of becoming as rich as the ones who mistreat them… perhaps then things would be different. A community of poor people for the poor people; where education and healthcare is free. If only diseases such as greed and jealousy were easy to overcome. I dream of a day where every child would be informed, educated, healthy and strong. I continue to dream. The people continue to dream, they dream of success in the form a mansion, big houses and white people in white dresses cheerfully smiling from their castles. Thinking that they too would one day achieve richness and attain happiness similar to the fairy tales they’ve had in their mind since a tender age.

If only people would find joy in reading, the wonders one could discover. The ideas they could extract and the livelihood they could explore…If only people would read, they could exemplify the prophets and the saints.

 I know it’s silly but I dream of a poor nation where man prefers his brother over himself. They feed one another. They work for each other. I can go on and on…you get the idea right? How does one attain purity of heart in order for his actions to be of purity? We all worship ourselves, we are slaves to our desires. I dream of a world where man becomes a man of such level that he becomes a master over his desires. His desires are selfless, his wisdom is boundless and his faith as strong as the companions.

I dream of a world, when the word ‘poor’ is mentioned the picture that would come to mind is a man with all the wealth in the world but no kindness in his eyes. 

Age

As the world continues in its rotation

Inhabitants too continue to age within their own rotation

Alas! None of us become sages

Instead we become lost in so many stages

We age into something delirious.

In our poisoned state,

We poison the mind of the young

They too become,

A person that is strange and precarious

He doesn’t know himself nor does he know others

He cares not for himself nor does he care for others

His desires becomes his insight

His insides becomes disastrous

Derailed, paranoid and constantly in fear

Though we continue to turn the pages

Into our own ruins we seem to be running

My friends they all leave to find, well mostly better wages

My good friends let us not severe kinship but persevere friendship

My relatives’ one at a time perished and forgotten

I keep thinking in what state will I perish and be forgotten?

All ultimately with their own goals

Mainly money,

Money to materialize the happiness it harbours

When the age is still ripe

I plan to make it right

One hopes to head towards the light

Remain with the aright and hold firm to the rope of The Absolute Ruler

Sends

Keep relying on your senses when you know your senses often omit little sense. Close to an hour left…a long awaited for weekend. The upcoming holidays, plentiful of hopeful promises, of ease and continual peace; no chaotic conundrums in the head to constrain—Useless are these thoughts, troubling the self with troublesome thoughts just playing them over and over again. How detrimental, redundant and suffocating; are these thoughts.

These days, if one has noticed, yours truly does not like to post bitter, bringing the self-down posts.  As usual, at first it was just seeping out emotions till today this particular emotion is somewhat in everlasting abundance as it was even from before. The disease engulfs one’s thinking, decision making and perception. He tries hard yet it is him and he is it…or something to that affect. Stuck and stagnant; stuck in a sea with motion sickness, sickness in motion—sickened emotions.

Worries what a worry! What is in the future and what is in planning for the future? Circle of life, the way things work, preparations, expectations…where is this acceptance? Contentment, gratefulness, satiated, fulfilled. Love and loved.

Emptiness, a churning, distasteful, a twist of fate. Fatigue. The soul, sold and it gets confused with the transaction, isn’t this the right path? It cried. The sleep, the wake, the fatigue, the dissatisfaction, the ungrateful, the discontent. But-but when distasteful hits you’re supposed to smile and show happiness when the pangs of love are absent. Can we come to some kind of terms? Going in the morning, coming back in the evening. The days become years, the life becomes old, yet the void still grows, there is still not enough money.

Instill in me enough love so we don’t appear unruly, even when someone is discontent or someone who transgress against his the ways of traditions? Instill in me pretentiousness, so we may pretend that this is the path one straight path one embarks, for a better future they say, to put food on the table as we say. We shouldn’t sway when slaves should slave. Obtain a car, a house and stability and then a father hands his daughter to be wed. Now that there is a car, a house and stability and a few debts lingering for a few solid years... To holy matrimony.

Look at beauty and look at the good things when nearer are the ugly and the unjust. Can it be left ignored, untouched, remain un-noticed?

Come on, let’s continue to rely on our limited, lying senses. Where one day we sense this and the next we sense what sense didn’t make sense. Go on keep on relying on your senses when at this wake you are sure of your senses and the next you make a mockery of the senses. How is this consensus?

Go on, keep on lying and say everything is moving ahead. To where is this journey embarking. We are all dying, this is all too overwhelming, and what will the outcome of this journey? Am I over-thinking or just merely barking? What a nuisance over-thinking when there is no power in constraining the blinking…I meant the blinking of the eyes.  Reassuring, stabilizing, having plan B’s and insurance a pretence for assurance.

There are countries at wars and their concern has plummeted to just keeping the eyes alive. Here in a Peaceful country we go to war in the morning facing traffic jams and each in his tank, each in a constrain, each conceited, their only care is about the self the rest can thread in hell. He is the only one with a family to survive; his is the only one with love. Others…meh. 

And after spending some half a century working and obtaining and gaining and buying and living and experiencing all sorts of pleasure. He then looks for something permanent, something that will appease spiritually something more permanent a little more pertinent. Though his habits are too strong, he is used to buying peace and till the end of his time. He keeps on looking for things that will please and so he needs to work hard to obtain another piece.

The hour is up, it is time to sulk in the weekend or so the senses believe.

Sakimore no Uta

Here is another one by Sada Masahi. It is actually a song he sang I am thinking in relation to the Japanese war. Though I found it amazing, I didn't quite like the ending. I was under the impression or wanted to think that what he conveyed was something rhetoric albeit difficult to accept or something along that line and that the poem's direction was more towards the self contemplating and understanding, not about nationalism. Nonetheless, this is just really beautiful. I wish I could write like this.

Please tell me

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

How about the wind?

Is the sky the same?

Please tell me…

I, sometimes,

Ponder upon the miseries of human lives,

Upon the sorrows

Which everybody will equally feel,

Upon the agony of live,

Upon the sorrow of growing old,

Upon the pain of illness,

Upon the misery of dying,

And upon my present self

Please answer me…

If every life of all existences in this world,

Has its own destiny,

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Like summer goes,

Like winter comes,

Must everything pass away?

Can I reckon…

On the twinkling of a tiny life,

Something like a faint hope

Which cannot be grasped by human words,

Some people are passing,

Others are coming,

A waning moon

Will be waxing again

In our everyday lives;

Please tell me…

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Is love mortal?

Is the human heart mortal?

Must everything including my beloved home country,

Pass away?

'Sonnet of a Clown'

I don't know if I have no time to write or that I have not been urging myself to write. However, I discovered this Japanese poet/singer called Sada Masahi. Here is piece by him I thought I'd share, seeing that it is preetty beautiful. I like it therefore i am posting it. I don't know about you but this is my kinda groove, or should I not use the word groove?

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


We go down the river

In a boat loaded with sadness

We go down the river

Going down the stream of time.

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your hands

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.


Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


And you'll see that your friends are walking along with you

Along the stream of time.

We are mountain climbers

Who head for our own peak

With heavy burden,

without even taking a breath

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your little arms.

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

And the time will come soon

When we all chat and laugh together

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

Sada Masashi