See!

Weak,

Stoic, disappointed, weary, eyes starry, sky, moon and fantasies,

Crumpled, assembled thoughts, unknown, complexities,

Toxic and pollution,

The unexplored and vast seas, so close yet so far,

The game, the manipulation…

Self-determination,

The notion, knowing, studying the self,

The oppressed, depressed, stressed and a mess,

The key, unlocking the self,

Journey to conquest,

Conquest of the universe, the self…

Verily, one who knows himself,

As to one who sees to one who’s blind.

Grey Hair

A week…more like a couple of weeks back I went to watch “The Last Naruto the Movie”. After many years of reading the manga and watching the anime it leaves a certain amount of mixed feelings left stirring in the insides, you know in the insides where one could feel but not see. If anything I am almost certain that such an influential and successful merchandise shall not or should not be discontinued in terms of business perspective that is. As for my personal opinion, I am pretty sure there will be a follow up to the manga series and animes emerging soon or to say the least, I am being hopeful. If anything, being someone who is comfortable being alone and having a rocky childhood, one with people constantly jeering and looking down at you, inevitably made Naruto very relatable and encouraging. Needless to say I became a fan.

I guess my writing this could be to elaborate more on how I am grateful for having something that is entertaining, relatable and motivating at the same time. This could be a manner of saying thank you to Kishimoto and the people who worked hard to come up with the plot, drawings, the manga itself.

Having said that, it brings me way back into memory lane on how Doraemon made my childhood pretty much—more imaginative and hopeful, hopeful as in waiting for a cat from the future come out of your drawer and helping you out with powderful gadgets. You know because back then if you want entertainment you either sit with everyone and watch television or well listen to the radio and read comics. How lame was that huh? I wasn’t so much into listening to the radio but glimpses of me listening to it whilst reading comics still remains intact. I remember reading each comic till I could memorize every single page. Ah I can feel my thoughts drifting off and making me feel more and more nostalgic. Who cares, right?  Though seriously things were really boring back then which is why we loved going outside and playing football and stuff. This was before the internet and astro. We also used to rent wrestling video tapes and watch them with friends and thought that wrestling was real haha.

Oh! And then there was American comics, I grew up reading old comics like, Groo, Dandy, and a few more of which I forgot their names. The later ones, well they were more glamorous and more expensive but then after having a taste of Japanese manggas, I never looked back. To me the stuff from Japan were more original, entertaining, sincere and uplifting.

Anyways I’ll be missing waiting for the manga to come out every Thursday. Though I have high hopes that it will continue as usual…nonetheless as humans we ought to accept and move on and by move on I meant search or wait for something similar to Naruto or better.

I used to say growing up sucks, now I find myself saying growing old sucks haha. Surely in all this, there is wisdom and the thing with growing old is that one attains wisdom and an understanding after all the failures and hurdles he has to face each day. Surely and surely this world is a test. However even after knowing that, one wish not or rather can’t withstand the torture but with every breath man yearns for pleasure.

I am using me phone on blogger. Wow! I shud say.

I have so much to write about and loads to say but...i tend to get lazy.

The Plight

If the poor stop fantasizing of being the very people who oppresses them, stop kissing their asses and stop working for them in tyrannizing their own kind, perhaps then the world would be a better place, no?

Ai

Another year went past,

A year older though not as wise as he expected to be,

He had some plans and visions,

They turned out nothing as to how he envisioned,

However,

In some cases, he had felt progress,

He had been blessed,

Gained some wisdom,

People should stop comparing,

Sometimes the cold can be too taxing,

Sometimes the shivers can be a source of company,

Time flashes past,

Not waiting, not halting, it presents itself and disappears,

Our skin becomes more and more crumpled,

So many pain and all kind of sickness,

Sickness of the limbs and of the diseased heart,

The journey must come to a stop,

Lo! What kind of end do we sought?

The battle fought flailing,

He stands barely in need of ailing,

Surely this whole thing is conniving,

Sometimes only pain seems convincing,

Though the light is always shimmering,

Let’s reach out and never stop hoping,

For our essence is love,

In the end,

We are all souls,

Created by love,

In the spirit of love,

Our end will be of eternal peace and of love.

Streams, Dreams & Attaining Peace

Wars, tyranny, cigarette smokers and mutiny,

Here I am in the black hole of destiny,

Here I am wondering—on the life I am living,

Why this feeling?

A fleeting,

Smooth sailing into a state of wailing,

Eyes straining from the hearts heavy heaving’s,

Consequences of my misdeeds and misgivings?

All transgressing and churning, the stomach groaning,

I see some embracing, smiling and rejoicing,

I see some with sad eyes, hunger stricken and suffering,

Which one is more appealing?

Though, when I think of those who only knew a life of suffering,

How can I not be pleased and grateful about my life?

However discouraging it may seem,

Though, it still makes me strain when I see tyrants over powering and reigning,

The world subjugated by unfair ruling,

However time is fleeing, I have lived for so many years,

Yet it feels like I have only lived in glimpses,

May the suffering of the world, finish in instances,

As for me sometimes I drown into distractions,

Temporary and meaningless diversion,

In the end it is always comes back to commotions,

May flowers blossom,

May the earth be filled with joyful eyes,

A world with no oppression,

No sadness and depression,

Mother and child in contentment,

No worries and hefty burdens,

They call me a fool for affiliating the world to the heavens.

Though is it not more of a pleasant depiction?

|.........|

Stranded, he dwells, his eyes swell, feeling malnourished and unwell,

A world of thorns dictated by a group of psychopaths,

Envisioned by cruel and adulterous people,

His burden, burns, he laments and earns,

A test at life, a life of test, a test of tests,

A testament of detest, addressed and despised,

A statement of resentment,

A frail hand, a risky track, turmoil path,  

Affinity to the self, sympathy to the self,

The light beckons, while the restrained motions subtle,

A hand beckons, addressing his emergence,

While the other holds his hands and deviates his advent,

The struggle—even when he sleeps, commence,

Feels forsaken, he knows he is mistaken,

A soul devoid of depth, he failed to feel,

Dimensions upon dimensions,

Stoic, mystic, spirituality, sanctity,

Help! Perhaps it was a mistake?

Did I dwell within too deep?

No matter.

Rise!

Regardless of the pain, the stain, the ingresses of disdain,

Regardless of anything,

Rise and fly without any imperfection,

For the soul is attracted to purity and sincerity,

Truth and love and beauty,

For love is the guide,

Love the compass,

Love, the direction.

|||Lady in Red|||

Digressed, erased,

Pressed, raced,

Depressed, stressed, dressed, regressed,

Caress his heart, stirred his crest, and mesmerized his eyes,

.

.

.

Unrest, lest, let’s pretend it’s a small test,

Detest, feast and back to your nest,

Cheated, embarrassed,

Betrayed and grassed…

.

.

.

Hate,

Fate, whatever be, Lo! have faith,

We pay for each act,

Alas, relax, when it’s due, you get back what you’ve wrecked,

Relax; take it easy and rest, soon you’ll see the fruits of your act.

.

.

.

Remember, evoke, retain your heart,

Evil, cruel, hurtful deeds brings fear to the heart,

You conspire; fear transpires, you know it deep in your heart,

You perspire, struggle and nervousness is instilled in the depths of the heart,

.

.

.

No matter, alas! No matter,

It’s okay, it doesn’t matter,

Who cares what I mutter,

In the end I was sincere and that is all that matter.

|Luminate!|

Illuminate! He shrieked to his soul,

Hoping the brightness that emanates of the light would vanquish ignorance,

Give birth to wisdom,

Fulfill all kind of attainments,

Smiles and contentment!

Saying good riddance to melancholy and despondence,

Instead his soul quivered and it frowned!

It is not that easy, it scorned!

Suffer and drown in sorrow you poor scum!

Wickedness of the world glaring with hypocrisy and duplicity,

Tearing apart whatever that is left of humanity,

Turning mankind into beings who think they’re self-sufficient,

Weak beings thinking they know why they were born,

Thinking their intelligence could lead to something profound,

All they end up guarding are their mighty pride and arrogance,

Oh selfish beings, will you not then think?

Your intelligence and senses are malevolent, useless and exceedingly inadequate,

Can you not at least tell that your senses are vastly restricted and incomplete?

That you’re more stupid than a noble intellectual?

The man cried for an ointment,

 Some kind of anointment…

Stupid problems tearing off skins and his limbs,

For he is  miskin and they don’t respect miskins,

Why the mistreatment?

Can’t man be less superficial?

The society,

The ones who plotted the bloody community,

The puppeteers,

The ones who perpetrated this atrocity,

This judging, stereotyping city,

Sacrilegious aristocracy,

Lost is humanity,

All within us lays stupidity.

Illuminate! He shrieks to console,

The hole in his soul,

Though they haughtily sold their souls

All entranced in obliging their superficial goals,

Illuminate, he breathes to his soul,

The evil of society he was born into ever so pompous and entrapping,

The future of the souls encapsulating,

Illuminate! he shrieks to his soul,

In hope that it will elevate his whole,

Before he too sells off whatever that is left of his soul,

Illuminate, he whispers to his soul…

Illuminate, he cries to his whimpered soul,

Illuminate…

A Shitty Day

Sub topic: 3^rd World ‘Mentality’ Problems

  

I have to be honest; I was inspired to write this whilst visiting the washroom and this ‘inspiration’ I’ve experienced was strong enough to trigger me into write this piece almost immediately; let me begin.

In my years of working I have/had to frequent or work in numerous corporate offices/ suites. Needless of any explanation, the very air, the architectural designs of the buildings, the security systems etc etc were to say the least, classy. Today, nevertheless, we will focus more on the ‘gents’.

Despite the elegant and posh appearance these buildings display; together with the air of ‘executivity’ portrayed by proud execs walking in possibly designers clothes— all these buildings have one thing in common; Shitty/stinky toilets. Now how can that be? You might ask and yes it would be impossible for suites to have failed/dysfunctional lavatories right? Well I meant it literally, I am trying to draw your attention to the numerous shit and the shit stains left behind by people who uses the toilet. There I said it. The elephant is out in the room and glaring with promiscuity.

Whyy?!?! Is the most common thing I question myself when I see excrete or shit stains left in the freaking toilet!  You know, I always try to enter toilet booths with a certain amount of positivity and almost always due to my hopes for a clean toilet, I feel my positivity going awry, gradually fading away. From being a person who views the glass as half full I have turned into someone who views the glass as full off excrete. Nowadays all I fantasize about is on shoving these culprits’ faces into the shit/shit stain and stink they have so nonchalantly left behind. You know, let them be seen as the shit stain that they are.

 Apparently they’re too good to clean up after their own; they need others to do it for them. There is no integrity or empathy in these people.

Think about it, if you’re that disgusted with your own excrete, did you have the slightest bit of thoughtfulness one needs to reflect on how others would be even more disgusted and revolted than you are?? Obviously not! You shallow, dirty from the inside…person!

Yes, there are always cleaners around, cleaning and mopping the washroom every couple of hours or even every hour or just there on standby just in case some corporate looking, designer clothes wearing douchebag leaves some stain behind. These cleaners, are they not human too? Do you think they like to smell and look at defecates?  Have you ever thought about it in this light? That they’re already living a difficult life, why not make their life just a little easier by practicing basic hygiene and cleaning up after our own shit?

I am once again really-really disgusted with humanity and its sheer shallowness. These outbursts, normally lead me to sort of, ‘do something about it’ years back, I was so angered by people littering and throwing things out of their cars, I created a group in facebook called, ‘Stop Littering’ some months after that another incident led to another outburst that also ended up with me creating a different fb group. Not to worry, I don’t think I would create a group that calls people to take care of their shit.

Anyways, we are lacking in basic values, things that you don’t need to be told to do, things that are common sense. Our principles, consciences, morality all have no standing against the standing of having the most money. Humanity has depleted into this money crazed beings that nothing else matters anymore. As long as you have money, you are viewed as a clean and a noble person.

People need to be educated on having empathy. Selfishness might seem best for you, but it isn’t. It never is.

Lastly, I would like to blame this education system for failing miserably in instilling basic values and for failing in nurturing kids who are now parents—who are continuing the failing tradition greatly by failing in parenting…starting from an education system that teaches one to be a selfish, narcissistic individual who’s only goal is to get good grades which when translated into adulthood, programs one to be selfish and shallow individuals programmed by TV programs and whose only goal is to get more money.

One of the many consequences of the failed system is the emergence of individuals who are unhygienic and people who don’t care much for the stains they leave behind and on how it might affect others. 

#everyone shits # First world salary third world mentality #shitty day

Stand Guard - Vanguard

Singularity, conformity, anonymity, tragedy, mystery, bread, wholemeal bread, dread, wide spread, jam spread, scared…regret, dared, scarred, marred, marked. He was dark so they laughed, target, they bragged and he was dragged—read, he read, he tread, they thread, apparently he was a threat, they didn’t like his trait, they spat, berate; he stared at his fate, great, he was late, against the state, the society observing its’ slate, he was preyed, he stayed still in a confused state, finally came to his senses, he prayed.

Ah! I am tired of ignorance that converts into arrogance, what is it with this cocksuredness? This look you portray filled with mockingness, surely it is a weakness; yet you think it is some sort of blessedness? Surely you have failed to dwell into the emptiness, which is hidden in the depths of your chest, enveloped by darkness, though all it takes is a hint of brightness, so why not work on righteousness?

Checkmate! Bring me the cheque mate, let’s check the date, it’s not too late, still don’t procrastinate, come with deeds, good deeds continuous like water falling down like beads, don’t put too much on stake…people, they forsake, you do things for a good sake, for God’s sake, good on you mate, may you be blessed before you fall dead.
    

It Doesn't Work That Way

Lies and deceits have superseded, it has succeeded in being prevalent and ever since it has grown rampant and from the looks of it, it appears as if it cannot be impeded.  It seems too potent, too dominant.

But for the normal working man, the enslaved man, the poor family man, it seems like it has taken its toll, just like it was foretold, what can he uphold? He worries and cries, but to what goal?

Poor tormented soul, his soul was sold the very moment he was introduced to this black hole of a world. Now grown up, these are his troubled companions, a repetitive visitor, his everyday thoughts, his worries—now let’s give it some thought and perhaps this could be something to reflect on:  the many overly priced tolls, petrol, car prices, house prices, road tax, income tax, insurance, accidents, traffic jams, introducing GST, bank loans, bank interests, bills, bills, bills, crazy drivers, restaurants, food prices, groceries, meat, to eat, to feed, to nurture and lead.

All of these deeds, stems from greed, the devils seed has flourished; it sucks the souls of men and empty their dreams, turning them into farm animals akin to sheep’s. A brainwashed society, a shallow and superficial community; filled with disgruntled selfish people wandering aimlessly, meekly, sheeply, wondering on the source to their misery …what a vicious cycle. What can you expect from a third world country? How about some humanity? Put a stop to capitalism, cronyism and just evil misdeeds?

When will we start to understand, that life is not about accumulating wealth by oppressing and wronging others? It doesn’t work that way, son. Happiness doesn’t work that way.

Pandemonium Inside

The issue arises, when someone misuses, misuses the trust and creates distrust, causing sincerity to rust. So please stop playing with trust or else, eventually all you are doing is paving a lifelong journey of scars.

Today I saw death, it laid in front of me, I didn’t want to look at it but I couldn’t help it, in fear I took a few short glances at it. Here I am thinking of the future and working for it but right in front of me death was looking at me. I tried to brush the thought of away. What else can you do? Entertaining the thought just makes one more flustered. Therefore I decided to close my eyes. In a matter of seconds I was engulfed by some petty and superficial thoughts.

The best advise. I repeat, the best advise one has given me on our dearest and loveable opposite sex is that, well this was his exact words, “You have to try to understand them. It's not easy because they don't even understand themselves.” At first I laughed at it, these days I get grim thinking about it.

I shouldn’t prolong, because when I do then you will obviously think it’s too long, so relax it won’t be too long, you think you're strong, well I too shall not be high-strung for long, in hope there will no more forlorn and when it is done...well...and now I shall be gone~

Douche Gabbana

I just wanted to post something. So let’s see…I just had a heavy lunch for lunch. It was awesome, someone paid for it obviously. My chest hurts for some reason; causing a slight/minor irritation upon inhaling.

Someone also gave me a watch as a present. I was asking him the time and he gave me the watch. It is easily the most expensive present I have received, oh wait I spoke too soon, on second thought it wasn't. I should probably try and ask someone on how many bedrooms are there in their house, who knows?

Tomorrow I have to help someone, it’s not like I don’t want to but I am lazy. However, I think I will anyway. Although it will be for the whole day and although I have to skip work and travel across states. 

These days I keep getting calls to attend interviews, these days I have to sacrifice my leaves to attend interviews. It’s a process albeit something we have to go through I suppose. On a brighter note, I think I most probably have been successful in one of them, one that I had interest in, and one with prospect. Though seeing that it isn't official yet, it worries me. I am feeling slightly paranoid-ish. Although it’s too soon to state, but attending interviews eventually pays off?

I wanted to wish people, “Selamat Hari Raya” but Hari Raya has gone. I’d like to say I was being occupied by some progressive stuff. As usual I keep finding new ways to waste my time. Don’t worry; none are as interesting as you might think. After all I am comfortable with myself. I might not be a fan of myself but being alone has its perks.

I keep buying fishes, small ones, big ones, cheap ones, slightly more expensive ones. They all have one thing in common. They all die within a few weeks, some after a few days. I have started to take notice that…after all that I might not be the best person to rear fishes. Therefore last weekend I went and brought home some lobsters. They seem to be doing fine, for now.

I hate it that I am ageing though I also hate it when people think that I am still in my teens. Yea, I hate this, I hate that bla bla bla black sheep.

So, it got me thinking, my new job if I were to gain employment with them. It would be a complete change of lifestyle. I know it will change me. My concern is how it will change me. Though of course I hope to change for the better and become a wiser & cooler person than I already am, right? That’s what I thought.

So here is to hoping for the best.  I hate to change into a douche bag. I hate douche bags, I would hate it even more to end up as one. Oh I hope I didn’t jinx anything.

Finally to put an end to my precious ramblings, the world is changing, at a rate that cannot really be rated? The earth is getting more and more irate? That was me trying to sound cool by trying to make things rhyme. Well the world is irrational, that was me trying to do that again. The world is unreadable? One moment you think it’s going to end soon, the next you think you’re going to live on forever. I don’t know, for a start let’s just hope we don’t/are not douche bags. Seeing that almost everyone are selfish douche bags these days. REFRAIN FROM BEING A DOUCHE BAG!!! Being nice makes one happier.

Tests

Currency,

Proving more and more of a sovereign,

Appeases and pleases,

Or so it may seem,

That could be what we deem,

Seeing that we are merely beings,

Programmed by TV screens,

Money,

An enabler, a motivator, a connector…

The divider, between the wealthy and the poor,

Ah money! You elevate and you slump,

You lump them in the slum,

You label and you crumb,

Of opportunities and of circumstances,

Money decides whether one becomes smart and intelligent or dumb and illiterate, 

Would Socrates be Socrates if he was of the slaves?

Would he, if he was from a different social grade?

Though how are we to blame?

We were brought up in a society that manipulates the brain,

Billions of lives have become slaves,

Petty men weighing the gold on their plates,

A culture that discriminates,

Injustice and intolerance,

A test for the vagrant,

The weak and insignificant,

The cage, we were put in,

Stop looking at a distance,

Search within,

 May we earn and gain wisdom,

There is no escapism,

One has to face the system,

Despite the disdains and the condescension’s,

The wise man, holds his own,

Disregarding the society,

Who has forgotten,
That we are fellow humans,

He lives in solitude,
creates an imaginary island,

Nonetheless, let this not be forgotten,

This world is a test,

No matter how much I detest,

It attests to test,

Life,
What a splendid test!

Nur

What is life but circumstances?

Followed by consequences,

Of what you have done in such circumstances,

Though at times it remains dark in dreadfulness,

We might not always make the right choices,

And although at times we repeat the same mistakes,

Keep in mind, we are merely human,

Always weak and vulnerable,

So let’s live life despite the circumstances,

Focus on the good and remain in truth,

Being sincere and earnest to each other,

Surely one day our effort will come into flower,

We will shine and transcend and go beyond the spheres,

Our faces shining and smiling brightly,

Enveloped by an awe-inspiring silhouetting radiance.

Sight

Remember, we are souls…(that much is agreeable?)

 That we are souls i.e. spiritual beings,

 Unseen like the wind but felt like the breeze;

Unseen like the thoughts but visible through the act of thinking,

A spirit cannot attain happiness or peace by material means.

They are of separate entities or of different dimensions.

An unseen soul achieves attainment through spirituality.

Whereas a physical body gets satiated by the physical food he eats.

This soul is weary,

Of shallowness and human debauchery,

Though for your sake, knock on your insights,

 Sincerely I hope you have insight,

Hopefully you awaken insight,

For it is totally necessary to regain our sight.

I pretty much like this beautiful hadith, therefore I thought, let this be a sort of a forewarning to myself that whenever the desire to lie arises I would completely shut it off and speak the truth instead. Well we can only aspire and do so much. Though, we have to start somewhere..

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Honesty certainly leads to goodness, and goodness leads to paradise. Truly, a man keeps speaking the truth until he is inscribed as being true through and through. And lying leads to going wrong, and going wrong leads to hell. Truly, a man lies and lies until he is inscribed as being a liar through and through” (Muslim, 4.2012–13: 2607. S).

Egocentricity

I am feeling somewhat queasy; dizzy which is making me feel uneasy. Sure vertigo sounds cool… until you have it. Then it’s just a matter of constantly dealing with being nauseous and grogginess. I am just pushing myself to write something so I can post it.

 I’ve never been a very healthy eater. Perhaps I should consider the act of eating healthier more seriously. I should start by rejecting soft drinks. There’s always some kind of feast or free food being offered/presented and I am not someone who says no to food being offered. Call me cheap I see it as being appreciative. 

Egocentric, if there is one word to define fellow humans, it would be egocentric. Maybe I am being eccentric? However this being of egocentric-ness is toxic. Alas, as they say we are all trapped and stressed to a point where one is more prone to become egocentric. Let us turn away from being inconsiderate and start by being moderate.

Are you a visionary? Someone who looks beyond the physical realm? Someone who is not too short sighted nor someone who is desperate for acceptance. The acceptance of the arrogant and ignorant is of no value nor will it result to happiness.

Okay I am having a headache. This should be sufficient. I came to rant and rant I have. Ha-ha.