The Wait

My name is Ippo. My friends call me Ippo and so does everybody else who knows me. Unlike my usual nights, where I either go out or if I don’t watch animes or simply just hang out with friends or go over to friends place or play football. I couldn’t play football, my ankle was in a bad state and it even hurt when I walked, that sucked. I was bumped out at home and the only thing that I had going for the night was that I was anticipating a friend to come over and lend me a book.

I live with my brother, the place we lived in was small, but it was sufficient enough for the both of us and for the friends who quite frequently sleep over just because they felt like it, I guess. However the place was especially crowded in the nights with the normal faces and sometimes with some strange faces. The house would more than often be packed with people which weren’t a problem. we made friends quick and we try to be nice to others, especially with others since we weren’t really nice to each other.

So, there I was in the privacy of my room accompanied by some other friends/ people who were busy watching the movie that they had on at the time. It was the ‘in movie’ at that time so almost everyone liked it and so every one who came had to watch it and I think I might have already watched the same movie over and over again, till I’ve already memorized the movie by heart. Looking at the other guys all cramped up in the small room but not seemed to be affected by the uncomfortable-ness assured me more that the movie was really good.

I however didn’t feel all that contented with the people and the stuffiness hence decided to move out from the room and get out from the stuffy room/atmosphere. As I came out to the living room it was already filled with more people who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their night or for some nights. Most of them were either adults or young adults; some dressed weird and had weird make up on. Everyone seemed to be pretty preoccupied among them-selves and looked as if they were having a good time.

It was just as stuffy as it was before in the room only that the place was wider with more people. I was sort of disappointed and had the thought to ask the people to leave, but on second thoughts it’ll be rude to do so. It wasn’t really nice having peopled over almost every night with a noisy situation to deal with almost every night. The only good thing about it was they were all adults and so if anything bad happens or whatever it is that happens they’d be solely responsible for their actions and for their own-selves/safety.

I managed to find an empty spot on the edge of a long worn out sofa situated against a wall, facing the entrance. There were patches of stitched material all over it, but it was comfortable to sit on, nonetheless.

There were a few girls seated beside me, some of the ladies were busy chatting among themselves and after a while would occasionally glance to check whether or not I was listening to their conversation and at times giggle in a very giddy sort of way. I just smiled back, I knew everyone there and they knew who I was. Most of them were my brother’s friends. My friends somewhat didn’t feel at home as my brothers friends did. And my friends and my brothers somewhat seemed to contradict with each other on almost every aspects.

I was just sitting there pointlessly and greeting or be greeted by passers by and would occasionally make small talks with some of the friends. I was waiting for a friend to drop by. He was supposed to come over an hour ago; he, knowing that I, fond of reading said that he’d lend me a book entitled “Hitler’s Vienna”, if I am not mistaken of the title.

According to him it was about the story of Hitler before he became ‘Hitler’ and his exact words upon describing the book was, ‘over all it was good, but there were certain chapters which seemed to be dragged on a little bit. Ill let you read it for yourself.’ It has got to be a good book and plus it’s about Hitler, the world most famous villain. It would be nice to know how his early days were like and what influenced him. Considering that it could be educational and informative in its own way. And lately, I haven’t found any interesting books to read for a while and this is the right time to be absorbed in one. The books that I had with me were boring novels or not so helpful self help books.

One of the girls who sat at the other edge of the couch started to question me with questions, her friends stopped talking with each other, and were all now looking at me attentively as in waiting in anticipation on what I would answer each time their friend asked me a question. I used to go to the same school with the person who was asking me those questions and she was pretty much a nice person and I enjoyed talking to her and she was quite a looker too, I might add. She asked questions like what I had planned for the night and about the current music and movies, we used to talk a lot about that. Having said that, I wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk especially when all of her friends were now looking at us as we talked. They were kinda interested in what we talked about, I am guessing. I excused myself by giving a lame excuse saying that I’ve to get my phone that I left in my room which was actually in my pocket. I walked away saying that ill be back.

Instead of going back to my room I decided to wait for my friend outside the house since the inside was too stuffy and filled with people. I am quite sure the girls didn’t even notice me walking out. I went out the gate and sat on the concrete, brick thingy beside the gate and leaned on the concrete wall which held the gate. I studied my surroundings. It was dark, I was sheltered by a huge tree, few plants that protruded from the fences, and a black dustbin placed beside the huge tree. I felt much more comfortable sitting outside compared to when I was in. it somewhat made me felt more at ease. The air was cool and chilled. It just rained, and whenever there were a strong cool breeze, raindrops from the wet tree/plants dropped on me and caused me to tingle a little. The place was quiet for the exception of the noise coming from inside of the house and from the cars that drove by and at times from footsteps of people walking in and out of the house, ruining the quietness and the stillness of the night.

I looked up at the sky and saw the normal pitched black place which seemed impossible to reach accompanied by little glimmering stars that were clearly apparent, which wasn’t really significant but it assured me that everything was how it was supposed to be and how it appeared to be. I always had these weird feelings of how things might abruptly change and just won’t be the same again and would eventually lead to the destruction of the world. Not very amusing, I know.

I sat there leaning on the wall looking up the tree branches and the dark sky, looking pointlessly to the dark sky and for some odd reason wished that I could fly. I always wanted super powers simply the thought of it amuses me, as childish as it might sound.

I was enjoying the atmosphere but at the same time couldn’t help but get bored and annoyed waiting for the Malay friend. It was a weakness of mine, I get bored, and annoyed at things easily. I decided to wait for a while longer and just sat there playing with my phone. My mind drifted away, I caught myself thinking about this peculiar phone call that I received about a week ago. The phone rang, and I looked at the phone to study who the caller was the number was new, I answered the phone anyway. A woman’s voice was heard on the other end, she was asking for some foreign name (as in not Malaysian). I replied that she got the wrong number and she starting asking more questions and one thing led to another and we were talking about football for some odd reason. She then introduced herself; I couldn’t remember what her name was, but she definitely didn’t sound Malaysian. If I were to guess, I’d say she’s Japanese and so our conversation ended.

She was awfully friendly but I didn’t really take it in mind. I knew that I shouldn’t. A few days passed and I totally forgot about the phone call. To my surprise, she called again and this time she said that she had a relative who would be visiting and wanted to know whether he could join us for football. It sounded strange but I somewhat agreed to her request, could be because I am somewhat interested in meeting new people and making new friends and we weren’t really picky of whom we played with as long as the played good football.

My phone rang for a bit and then stopped before i could answer it, waking me up from my dream. I notticed a small car stopping in front of my house, it was the Malay friend. He had finally arrived and I could see that he held the book in his left hand as he walked out of his car, I was already grinning as I saw him walking towards me. He raised one of his hands and said, ‘Ippo, sorry to have made you wait’. I replied it was ok and that I was used to it. He then handed me the book and said that he had some errands to run. He got back in his car, waved a little and drove past me. I took the book with me and almost ran into the house. Now the only trouble that I had was to read it peacefully.

Uncertainty

I came not knowing from where, but I came.
And I saw a pathway in front of me, so I walked.
And I will remain walking, whether I want this or not.
How did I come? How did I see my pathway?
I do not know!

Am I new or am I old in this existence?
Am I free and unrestrained, or do I walk in chains?
Do I lead myself in my life, or am I being led?
I wish I know, but…
I do not know!

And my path, oh what is my path? Is it long or is it short?
Am I ascending in it, or am I going down and sinking?
Am I the one who is walking on the road,
or is it the road that is moving?
Or are we both standing, but it is the time that is running?
I do not know!

Before I became a full human, do you see
if I were nothing, impossible? Or do you see that I was something?
Is there an answer to this puzzle, or will it remain eternal?
I do not know ... and why do I not know??
I do not know!

Elya Abu Madhi