Keep
relying on your senses when you know your senses often omit little sense. Close
to an hour left…a long awaited for weekend. The upcoming holidays, plentiful of
hopeful promises, of ease and continual peace; no chaotic conundrums in the
head to constrain—Useless are these thoughts, troubling the self with
troublesome thoughts just playing them over and over again. How detrimental,
redundant and suffocating; are these thoughts.
These
days, if one has noticed, yours truly does not like to post bitter, bringing
the self-down posts. As usual, at first
it was just seeping out emotions till today this particular emotion is somewhat
in everlasting abundance as it was even from before. The disease engulfs one’s
thinking, decision making and perception. He tries hard yet it is him and he is
it…or something to that affect. Stuck and stagnant; stuck in a sea with motion
sickness, sickness in motion—sickened emotions.
Worries
what a worry! What is in the future and what is in planning for the future?
Circle of life, the way things work, preparations, expectations…where is this
acceptance? Contentment, gratefulness, satiated, fulfilled. Love and loved.
Emptiness,
a churning, distasteful, a twist of fate. Fatigue. The soul, sold and it gets
confused with the transaction, isn’t this the right path? It cried. The sleep,
the wake, the fatigue, the dissatisfaction, the ungrateful, the discontent.
But-but when distasteful hits you’re supposed to smile and show happiness when
the pangs of love are absent. Can we come to some kind of terms? Going in the
morning, coming back in the evening. The days become years, the life becomes
old, yet the void still grows, there is still not enough money.
Instill
in me enough love so we don’t appear unruly, even when someone is discontent or
someone who transgress against his the ways of traditions? Instill in me
pretentiousness, so we may pretend that this is the path one straight path one
embarks, for a better future they say, to put food on the table as we say. We
shouldn’t sway when slaves should slave. Obtain a car, a house and stability
and then a father hands his daughter to be wed. Now that there is a car, a
house and stability and a few debts lingering for a few solid years... To holy
matrimony.
Look
at beauty and look at the good things when nearer are the ugly and the unjust.
Can it be left ignored, untouched, remain un-noticed?
Come
on, let’s continue to rely on our limited, lying senses. Where one day we sense
this and the next we sense what sense didn’t make sense. Go on keep on relying
on your senses when at this wake you are sure of your senses and the next you
make a mockery of the senses. How is this consensus?
Go
on, keep on lying and say everything is moving ahead. To where is this journey
embarking. We are all dying, this is all too overwhelming, and what will the
outcome of this journey? Am I over-thinking or just merely barking? What a
nuisance over-thinking when there is no power in constraining the blinking…I
meant the blinking of the eyes.
Reassuring, stabilizing, having plan B’s and insurance a pretence for
assurance.
There
are countries at wars and their concern has plummeted to just keeping the eyes
alive. Here in a Peaceful country we go to war in the morning facing traffic
jams and each in his tank, each in a constrain, each conceited, their only care
is about the self the rest can thread in hell. He is the only one with a family
to survive; his is the only one with love. Others…meh.
And
after spending some half a century working and obtaining and gaining and buying
and living and experiencing all sorts of pleasure. He then looks for something
permanent, something that will appease spiritually something more permanent a
little more pertinent. Though his habits are too strong, he is used to buying
peace and till the end of his time. He keeps on looking for things that will
please and so he needs to work hard to obtain another piece.
The hour is up, it is time to sulk in
the weekend or so the senses believe.
