Pity Pretty

Today went away almost like every other day. Where you don’t want to think of anything else and just want to unwind and relax. Many pictures and form of relaxation starts playing in the mind now and I get carried away with it. To the extent that I find myself smiling like a crazy person. But once I reach home and thankful for my safe arrival. Thanking God, for things as bad as they are now -- for not getting any worse. And when I think of unwinding and relaxing, I see myself waking up with a headache, dizzy and still with discontentment and looking for a different solution.

A friend of mine whom I am close with, so close that one might say that we have no secrets between us. That is to show the level of our closeness. Often described as a fun, cheerful person and most noticeable for his ability to not show fret when hit by problems. He often boasts about how he sleeps on them. Have a problem? Don’t think about it too much, just sleep on it!

Both of us are I guess, can be considered as a pessimist in which like Schopenhauer believe that the world itself is the worst of all possible worlds because a more worse world can’t exist, so to speak. We just have different methods on dealing or escaping it.
By the way, I disagree on my friend’s way of dealing with his problems because sleeping to me doesn’t come as easily as it comes to him.

So here I was on my way back home, upon reaching the last traffic light. No matter how big a hole in a person is, the thought of having a home to go back to is always a comfort.

“Psychologists have said that they trace pessimistic attitudes to emotional pain or even biological. Argues that depression is due to unrealistic negative views of the world.. Pessimist are often however often able to provide arguments that their understanding of reality is justified.”

We have a disagreement here, that’s all the quote above proves. Ones understanding of reality is one’s right and however they wish to justify it is due to circumstances and their ability to conjure up with one. In which is prove that people think and look at things differently. It is just a difference in opinion not something to be labeled or judged upon.

Viewing the world in a negative eye is in fact reality, viewing it otherwise is unrealistic.

The level of happiness in ones mind is limited and perhaps sadness too but which one gives you more fear and from the two, which would be felt more? The picture of sadness in a person’s mind is more easily evoked than the picture of happiness.

Jumping to a different subject, fake happiness requires a lot of work and many outside (material) things while real happiness requires one to be in peace with his mind and more prone to act on faith.

Without that, a pessimist would say; hunger, sexuality, the need to care for children and the need for shelter and personal security as the real source of human motivation.

Back to the topic, as I was waiting for the light to turn green, I noticed a girl whom I went to high school with. She was a few years younger than me. Though she appeared an old hag, walking with her umbrella and dressed without any good sense of fashion, she was fat and ugly and walking alone towards her home too, I presumed. Looking at her made me want to feel more…lucky perhaps, but it only made me feel more miserable. The world is indeed unfair, no matter how you try to positify it. She looked as miserable as she did back in the days. I hoped that it was just my eyes, and it probably was my ulterior, shallow stereotyping.

I couldn’t muster up what and why was it that I felt at the moment. Was it hate, love, sympathy or just lack of discontentment? Right then I felt like being at the lowest level of an absurdist, not because I failed to find the meaning of the universe but because I failed to realize what I was feeling. It was a mixture of feelings I thought and so decided the best remedy at that time was to try and sleep on it.

The red light seemed like eternity I began to think of all the adult spoiled brats and snobs that I know, whom I am friends with. Everything that revolves around them if not pleasing to them is evil and their shallowness vast and knows no boundaries. And I thought to myself, if I were to turn into a pessimist then they were one of the reasons. The light finally turned green.