Beck

It started with a bad decision. I had made a promise that I shouldn’t have, I was at work and the time was 10 minutes to 8pm. I was ready to get off. I only had two hours of sleep, on the day before. I began to regret my decision to go hang out with some friends when I hadn’t had enough sleep and had to come in work the very next morning. My name is Beck. I don’t like to elaborate upon myself. I work in a store.

I live alone in a rented room somewhere not so far from my working place. I reached home after a few minutes, room I mean. The people I lived with ignored my presence and continued watching the reality show on the T.V. that was aired at that time. As I walked past them I realized that they were paused and their eyes fixed on the television screen. My subtle movements walking past them didn’t seem to have played any effect on them. I passed them and was already used to, being ignored. I didn’t really mind that. I even preferred it that way. I headed towards the wooden staircase which led to my room. There were two other rooms belonged to the landlord and their children. I climbed the wooden stairs lit by a bulb which transcend a faint yellow light. Along the staircase, I passed some frames of pictures which were nailed to the wall. It contained decorative pictures of nature, trees and of that sort. I was bored at looking at it every time I climbed the stairs.

After what that seemed like a long tiring climb. I finally reached the top and was heading to the room I stayed in. it was a few feet away from the stairs. The upstairs was lit up with a long white tube light. I stood outside my room; my hands were digging into my pants pockets. I took the bunch of keys out and looked at them trying to recognize the one for the room. I twisted the door knob now after I found the right key and placed it in its hole and twisted my hand upwards unlocking the door. I opened it, it smelled of cigarettes, dirty laundry and a mixture of the both and some other smells I couldn’t possibly identify. I found the switch to the light placed on the wall without trouble and switched it on. It flickered a bit at first, but after a few seconds it lit up. I entered the room and began to undress. Tossing my clothes on the floor, the room was small; the windows weren’t visible, as it was draped by multiple layers of thick clothing material, refusing light from the outside. I made my way to the washroom and took a quick shower. The room had no cupboard or cabinets my clothes were piled up accordingly into two towers.

I came out of the washroom, somewhat looking refreshed but my eyes were heavy and it burned a little. I was now heading to the towers of clothes placed on the wooden surfaced floor. The phone rang; it was my second most precious possession (the phone). I picked it up and answered it. My friends were already on their way to pick me up, as promised. I didn’t like to make people wait. I didn’t like, waiting for people. So, I tried my best to be punctual. So that, I wont be a hypocrite, I hurried down switching of the light, took my needed possessions, stuffing them in my left and right pockets. Locking the room door and headed down the stairs decorated by frames of pictures nailed to the wall. I reached down the stairs and I paused for a while, surprised looking at the people, still in front of the idiot box, one of the young girls, now had her eyes on the phone and hurriedly was typing on the phones keypad and her hand movements showed me that she was typing a message. I faintly heard her said from afar, ‘he has to win’. If that was what I heard, some of the other viewers, now upon recognizing my presence and knowing that I was staring at them, continued ignoring me and was once again transfixed on the show, they looked nervous and the women looked as is they were all going to breakdown with tears. I started moving and walked past them unlocking the door and locking it back, still staring at them, at their sad looking facial expressions. I thought to myself, its ironic how people who in real life, who can be cruel and insensitive towards others in their lives, but could cry like a baby watching a so called reality show, on the television rooting for some strangers who are well of compared to the really needy.

I shook the thought of my head and I was now already in the car with some friends and was heading to dinner. It was always nice when I was out doing something, with friends I felt comfortable with. It made me not think too much and I was occupying my free time after work. I didn’t feel all that tired anymore. After having our dinner, we were contemplating on where to go next. Having nothing to do, we just drove around and went sight seeing. There wasn’t much to see, but it was better than heading back home, alone and with nothing to do. It was almost three in the morning when I was sent back home. I opened the door, as I placed a foot on the tar covered street and upon coming out from the car. The idiot friend who was the driver accidentally stepped on the accelerator just a bit, but still causing me to lose my balance and I had to bring my other leg out to maintain it, before I could do that, since it was so sudden caused me to twist my ankle caused by the lost of balance caused by the friend who claims that he accidentally stepped on the accelerator. I believed him. It wasn’t that bad, ill just have trouble walking for a few days. The sorry friend said that he was sorry and the look on his face proved it.

I got into the house, everyone was asleep by now. I went up the dark staircases and made it to my room limping a little bit. I switched the light on and also the tiny little table fan which was situated in the middle of the room on the parquet covered floor. I removed my clothing’s and replacing it with shorts, I was now lying on the floor, my head rested on a couple of pillows that was already there. There was a tiny T.V in the room, I didn’t watch it anymore. The T.V was broken. I found a book and started reading it, my eyes were tired, I was tired but wasn’t able to rest my mind. I was reading the book I had in my grasp. But my thoughts were lingered somewhere else, I realized it but merely continued reading the words, sentences, paragraphs which I didn’t really pay attention to.

I woke up hearing the noise my phone was making; I had to bring myself up involuntarily. The room stayed dark, as there was no sunlight coming through, I got into the washroom and realized that my journey to the washroom hurt more than usual. My leg near the ankle area was a little bit swelled up. I ignored it and tried to act as if it didn’t bother me. Got dressed up and almost stumbled upon the table fan which was on the floor and I envisioned that if I did happen to stumble upon the fan, I would land straight to the most organized division in the room. The tower, the tower of clothes which almost decorated the room, at the same time kept my clothes well organized. I went down the stairs, passed the hallway, ignoring the people ignoring me.

I was on my way to the work place. The path I used was the fastest way to get to my destination. I’d experience every other routes to get there and finally I had one that was the most sufficient. My leg hurt still and I was trying not to limp. The weather was hot, not even five minutes have passed since I started walking, I began to sweat but having no other choice, resumed walking. My mind as I walked, was now lingering into many thoughts and soon enough I was dreading about not having a promising definite positive future like some of my friends. One thought led to another, and I was now dreading on not being as fortunate or even similar to many of them (friends). I was different on many aspects. I didn’t care about that anymore, I started to believe that no matter what sort of circumstances one is put in. he has the responsibility and the ability to make himself perhaps not as successful as others but never the less, more respectful. That was what I thought then, on my way walking to the place I work at. Thinking about what I thought again, wanting to do something and saying it, is vastly different than actually doing it.

I was almost there. The occurrence of what was about to occur was something that I could never fully forget and it made me more confused, a little bit more. It was as if we were destined to me each other. There was a huge lorry parked alongside the road. As I was nearing it the driver came out of his huge vehicle. He opened the door and hopped outside. He wasn’t paying any attention to me, I was fine with that. He looked just like every other man, slightly untidy though I might add. I was still walking, now exactly side by side the lorry’s head. The driver was looking at the door. I wasn’t sure what he was looking at. I was looking at him. I stopped and now I wasn’t blinking. I looked at the man, staring at him as if he was some kind of monster. His hair was curly, his skin dark and his other side of face were as normal as everyone else. But the other side of his face, it wasn’t hard to not notice, he had black dots, on his face like a mole, only that it was a mountain of them.

I stood there awed not looking down at the guy but, I guess I wasn’t ready for this. Funny part was he didn’t even realize that I was standing there transfixed staring at his face covered with something that looked like a bee hive. It looked heavy, it was indescribable, and it covered half his face. To be honest, I was terrified. I finally came to the realization and walked past him and the lorry he came out from. My presence wasn’t even noticed. This was a good thing, then. I didn’t feel unlucky and miserable anymore, that day. I am not being judgmental, well I am, aren’t I.

Days went by after that I resumed my life as usual. Only that I tried to be friendlier with the people around me especially with the people I lived with. I even started talking to the landlord and I think I am slowly making some progress with the others. And the things I don’t have control upon, I try to not think about it too much. However, it wasn’t because of the lorry driver solely, I tried to change. I always wanted to become someone better the lorry driver incident was just one of the many little reasons.