I have this uneasiness lurking in me, added with fear, paranoia and insecurity. That is me in employment. My heart sinks and my limbs tremble whenever I see someone walking past my desk or whenever my bosses lay their eyes on me. My eyes continuously checking out and eyeing its surroundings, my ears constantly awaiting for the faintest of footsteps or the voices that are tainted with darkness in them. My mouth reciting prayers as to be as far from their evil intentions which they bring to life so nonchalantly as if it was their purpose to contribute to the miseries in life.
I see myself as a mother trying to protect its cub from predators, except I don’t really have anything to protect, because I am already exposed, hurt and vulnerable. I should see myself as this weak and helpless creature that has no other choice but to abide and bow to their wants and needs. I see myself as this open target, where u can throw darts at, shoot arrows at or just say something without being nice.
Oh, what have I become if not a wretched, menial creature. For one day, if it comes I shall look at them with all my might and power and treat them with fairness and kindness to show them what power is and hope that that it’ll annoy them and make them feel unpleasant.
Phew that helped in letting out some steam. Of course I exaggerated and made it more ‘colorful’ and yes dramatized. I should do this more often.
Moving on to a different subject, it is the New Year. And no, I do not have any new resolutions. My previous resolutions were too perfect and (obviously) unfulfilled; hence I am sticking to them. I heard someone saying that despite being the New Year we are still stuck and surrounded with the same assholes. Though not entirely true, I am going to agree with that.
Have a good New Year and if you don’t like what you do to at your job and what you do to earn a living, then you have my sympathy and a hug, yes a hug or more hugs depending on ‘you know’.
