Conjecture of Yours

What is this man?
What is this rush to chase this stable life, what is this dash to proclaim more wealth?
Can’t we be strong with a penny less?
Oh so superficially, artificial,
What is this need to go on to impress, why must I be a subject of appraisal?
Why should I fall just like the rest,
In self denial and the deceit of the biggest kind…

Everybody so predictable, queuing up for commonality,
changes yes they come undeniably, I look at things with difficulty, why must I move on from thereon to here on? These people diminishing into their wet dreams,
what is this importance of living to expectations?

Can’t I just stay on and said that I moved on, isn’t it true that pursuing happiness of this kind, is an indication by the masses?
To be accepted and be one with the asses, don’t thee question the self lying bastards? Unable to distinguish colour from blackness, putting on their game face,
With a pride intact and a whole lot of chatter that decorate their lies.

Your art and your people so artificial, held up in crowds, to make a blinding statement, an attention cry that’s what it is, in a performance to be more expressive, mesmerizing only the temperamental, tantalizing only the superficial, a form of escapism, that’s what it is.

Why does this need to separate arises, we are not Jews neither royalties, but seen as losers for not being with the posers, the majority wins, democracy is pointless when the masses are mindless.

Be prepared to be abandoned, but not from disparity and inequality,
you suggest not to think of the other, and be selfish in desire, wanting praise so to feel superior, human beings by nature, unappeasable in their sightless desires.

Yours Truly

Note: This here is a work of fiction.

I wanted to somewhat challenge myself in writing something I don’t normally write about, however I think I managed to retain the normal pessimistic values :p



Now that I know you…now that I know you,
I begin to see,
To comprehend beyond, what the eyes can see,
Your accomplishments innumerable, printed and framed,
So proud and bold, colored and distinguished,
I look upon in awe and disbelief.

It feels quite lowly being with you,
Turns me into a reflector being,
On the contrary so perfectly,
Both mind and soul almost godly,
Your presence makes pearls hide in its shell,
In your presence no man is worthy of present.

So accomplished and profound,
Remarkably tantamount,
With the gracefulness of your gown,
Should I have known,
I ought to be gone.

Looking at you invites fantasies,
Though suddenly with inconsistencies,
Why the change of mind?
He is with uncertainties.

You talk to me equally,
Still I knew, I failed to see,
Your kindness is default,
To eliminate you do not,
He construed your intent incorrectly.

Oh how I notice your qualities,
So divine and complete,
Yet...I forgot to see,
My place in line,
For you’re in heaven and I not within

If only you spoke your mind,
I would’ve seen my guideline,
For I am lost, though rarely lost,
Shifting aimlessly,
Headed a dead end.


I look up at you,
Head pointed upwards;
Admires you like none other,
Not for another,
Wishing you the whole asunder.

I see your likes so far away,
But here, I am jumping in empty air,
Hoping to see a fruit will bear.

I talk about equality but come close not to your qualities,
My cry not worthy,
My fight gone wary,
He wonders, why talk to me,
When you only see through me,
Like an arrow going pass me.

Nay this isn’t embitterment,
Neither a cry of dissatisfaction,
But a revelation,
An abrupt vision,
To a mindless descent

I fell in love with your intelligence,
Nay, not your appearance,
But the self within,
Out of the ordinary,
Hardheaded woman,
Precisely stringent.

He has seen the difference between a princess and a peasant,
I look up at her with glistening eyes,
She looks at him,
A shadow in the night.

Raya Post

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Erm I was tagged by Hafiz. 15 random facts about me, what the hell... Well since its hari raya and I am at home waiting for my friends. I’ll just scribble some things down. I might’ve added unnecessary details and more than 15 facts, but…I don’t really care. So here it is, 15 facts or so about muah:

1. Wanted to go to a dentist for the past couple of years. No, I don’t have any toothache but I just want to go to a dentist.
2. .Football is a passion, and a sport I’d play until I can’t anymore. And my favorite players are Zidane and Ronaldo (R9).
3. If you knew me in real life, you’d know that I want to have superpowers haha. Well if I had to choose, I’d go for knowledge, boundless, unlimited knowledge of the world and the universe…woot woot! Haha okay that was nerdy.
4. I didn’t go for raya prayers today huhu. Got back around dawn from a friend’s woke up at 8 with a terrible headache probably caused from the night before, the shrieking voices and the pounding on the door, calling me to get ready. There was no panadol, so I had to settle for cough syrup, selsema pills and a painkiller. Woke up around 2 and went to Boy’s place.
5. Yesterday as I was waking up, I accidentally kicked my night lamp huhu. Obviously it broke, it was given by my brother who said that the lamp costs more than 700 ringgit…macam tak jee
6. Despises liars, insincerity and people who konon ada stand on things just to fit in with crowds. Dislikes the artsy, fartsy new age people who think that they’re one of a kind or somewhat superior or a kind of a misunderstood genius… But is envious on how they believe in themselves. And most importantly, I always assume that for someone to adopt a lifestyle/ a belief…that someone should be able to explain about it in a logical manner, in a way that others can understand or at least give out clear messages that makes some sense on why they chose it.
7. I also think that almost every thinker/ philosopher ways of thinking, doctrines are right if you take into consideration their backgrounds, time of living/ time frame and their influences and also their objectives.
8. I don’t have a favorite food, drink, color, number or anything similar to those. I was taught by life to accept the things I get regardless of what I thought of them.
9. And this to me is a big revelation, it is soo simple but I have to say that it troubled me quite. Just recently I got to know the meaning of, “every man is created equal” I mean I contemplated on it, written entries on the topic and knew that every man is not created equal. But then, I finally conjured it up, that man is not created equal amongst men but the answer to my doubt was, every man is created equal in the eyes of God.
10. I get headaches when I am stressed, too full, hungry, tired/ sleepy, slept too much, think too much, bored and I am not very tolerant of it.
11. Oh I think that martial arts is a form of expressionism and one of the many ways to understand one self and another.
12. Is quite vulnerable and gets cheated on easily but really distrusts most people. I also am quite paranoid and it gets really scary at times.
13. Likes music, orchestras, instrumental and anything nice really. I also like to think that I like reading, writing and to gain knowledge.
14. Hm I said, I didn’t have any favorite food ehh…well I can live without them but I really do like chocolates and ice cream.
15. hmmm… still reads Crayon Shin Chan and it is really a stress reliever and very fun to read haha.
16. Tak pernah beraya di kampung, awek2 yang ada kampung silalah ajak hehehe
17. I think that 'understanding' is divine...

Erm okay I hope that that was okay. It’s my first time so okay laa. Selamat Hari Raya…I should go out now huhu.

p.s. this was the coolest raya sms I’ve gotten this year, “Baju raya Rm 450, kasut raya RM 300, adat membazir memang tak dapat dikengkam, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.” hahahaha