Modernization

Modernization is elevating,

Modernization signifies a country developing,

Modernization oh so uplifting,

Making these empty people believe in something,

A third world country is now uprising.

Modernization is not what it seems,

Making more money a human instinct?

Conveniently disregarding other living things,

They provide oxygen and essential things,

Taking things for granted…

We destroy the mountains and cut down the trees.

The weather these days are always moody,

My mind and soul constantly uneasy,

Although we come up with alternatives,

Soon there won't be honeys and no more ease,

Pollutions, congestions and eventual destructions..

Modernization maybe a necessity,

Building skyscrapers, developing new houses,

For centuries now man has been capitalizing,

Demanding more from the hand that gives,

Inviting disasters, contributed by their own hands,

A dark disastrous future is what I see.

Anda

A friend of mine gave me this link last night and after watching it...Let's just say I was pretty impressed hence i am uploading the clip. The performance itself was simple yet capturing. The lyrics were pretty deep as well. The camerawoman for this video must be really good. hehe

Messtake

Hm nothing to brag about, little to be proud of, not necessarily much. Lurking In a haze, I can see the large black clouds of sadness ready to engulf... Floating above, following my footsteps, ready to plummet and strikes it's best.

Sulking, soaking, marinating in uneasiness. I never wanted this kind of consistency.

‘There are so much more to live for, many things to look forward to. In a world where anything is possible, all you need are passion and desire.’ oh how long I stopped thinking that way; sooner or later they’re all futile, doomed to failure. As each day goes by you feel like a leaf drying up, life sucked out. In a stagnant diminishing mode, we then stop hoping for more and start hoping for nothing even worse to happen.

Ironically living a pretty hectic so called cheerful lifestyle, where people rejoice, where friends meet up and spend good times, while one keeps busy and get involved in many activities, cheering and taking pleasure in, yet as luck would have it deep inside there’s a deep, dried up well, filled with mysteries, all you get are the echoes from your voice. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to fill it up with light. Murky and dark with a pungent unwelcoming scent, I dare not thrust into this dried up well. Not being ungrateful, just trying to fill in the annoying gap.

People all over self centered, oblivion, selfish and absurd. Doing things as they wish, as they perceive right when their knowledge of right and wrong, questionable. Distrustful, prone to betray, to let down and deceive with a penchant to not reveal the true self right from the start... Do unravel and reveal, to disclose not withhold, fill us in with knowledge and truth, so then we’d be informed on the true self that you are but mere human innately, one who comes in a package of mischief and trickeries.

I notice this man walking and hopping at the same time, no there’s nothing wrong with him just something peculiar about the way he walks. Walking and hopping at the same time, seems funny, but I can tell he’s having fun, walking and hopping emitting joyousness. I lick on my ice cream, unable to appreciate its taste, cooling effect or the pleasure it brings along. All there is is the physical act of finishing an ice cream.

He needs a bath, a shower, a quick nap, and some kind of dessert to calm the self. No matter what he does, these short escapisms, comes into abrupt realization. Now this is funny, an act of curiosity adjoined with desperation he finds himself looking for some soothing music.

In the end there is me standing above my dark well feeling unwell, not yet ready to dwell, I picture myself falling in and then I picture myself not taking the plunge. But already in front I witness a bigger tunnel, vaster, darker, damp and echoing…I now can hear the sound of a distant train chooing, I look down at my feet observing that they stood there standing on the middle of a track.

Storeys

When someone is not as lucky as you are, you try to help him, not mess with him… As we were all sitting there, some with their drinks and some waiting for the food they’ve asked for. A friend who ordered fried rice got his food and the portion on the plate was, ‘enough to feed 3 people’ as he mentioned. We continued talking and sipping on our drinks. It was already late and all I could think of was tomorrow and how I had to wake up early to head out for work. Needless to say thinking of work conjures up ill feelings. I am not sure why, most days things aren’t too strenuous, I suppose I shouldn't say things like that and risk jinxing myself. Back to the subject, this guy then after finishing his ‘nasi goreng for 3’ obviously drunk of rice said, ‘do you want this?’ he offered the garnishing on the side of the plate to another friend who almost nodded. Needless to say I voiced out my opinion and it wasn’t delicate.

Story2

The other day this middle aged couple came over, it was peculiar and just caught us off guard. The man then came up to us and proceeded to ask for money, there was some hesitancy in his voice and body language…normally we wouldn’t think much and spare some for the poor guy. We don’t care about what they’d do with the money, whether they were con artists or whatever…well we would probably feel offended if they used the money for drugs or abusive stuff. We were seated at the end of the table and our ‘man bag’ was placed on the centre of the table. We are not trying to make excuses. We really did feel bad of what happened.

The man then proceeded to say, ‘makan, makan’ while gesturing with his hand. How can one deny when someone says that? Our friends don’t mind spending hundreds of ringgits to get drunk and the lame drinks they ordered were almost 20 ringgit each. We should’ve and would’ve given him some money…but we didn’t want our friends seeing us doing that. Though we are over that, we wouldn’t act the same way again. Btw we sound like Gollum haha

Story3

Time and time again while conversing with certain friends. We spread this imaginary sheet of problems and we poke through it and examine it, in hope that a miracle would happen and we’d be able to put an end to this issue. For example things like, ‘how to have an eased mind’. We then drift off by talking on how certain view sees/believes in solving it. Though history proved that some actually believe in their methods, and it might’ve worked out for them, but it might not have the same effect to the normal man like you and I. The constant bickering on why one feels the gap, the emptiness, the alone-ness. Where one feels the void, lack of motivation, the objective of life seems pointless so redundant. Only ends up with the familiarity of misery and mystery.

Time and time again while discussing on the cause of unhappiness and the solution for happiness I forget to realize. It could probably not happen when you’re one with the masses, metaphorically speaking that is.

Suffering is pretty much inevitable and I have reached a stage where I want to accept that life is more to suffering while the rest are just things u do to avoid that suffering. However being a normal human; this becomes an argument and a scuffle within the self, where one says, ‘I knew something like this would happen' trying to accept and the other, ‘Shit! This is not happening to me!’