I came not knowing from where, but I came.
And I saw a pathway in front of me, so I walked.
And I will remain walking, whether I want this or not.
How did I come? How did I see my pathway?
I do not know!
Am I new or am I old in this existence?
Am I free and unrestrained, or do I walk in chains?
Do I lead myself in my life, or am I being led?
I wish I know, but…
I do not know!
And my path, oh what is my path? Is it long or is it short?
Am I ascending in it, or am I going down and sinking?
Am I the one who is walking on the road,
or is it the road that is moving?
Or are we both standing, but it is the time that is running?
I do not know!
Before I became a full human, do you see
if I were nothing, impossible? Or do you see that I was something?
Is there an answer to this puzzle, or will it remain eternal?
I do not know ... and why do I not know??
I do not know!
Elya Abu Madhi
Darkness, Darkness Is Spreading
Child hood friends we were. We were proud to still be friends, dear friends after all this period. Although there were many to stop us, we didn’t seem to take that as a given. We were just the few common lot that one understands the other and the need to pretend to be another was not needed.
It was difficult for us to hang as we used to, but the opportunity given would not be wasted by sitting at home surrounded by problems and problematic people. The mood was pretentious while the troubles were real. Neither of us enjoyed sticking at home with unsettled troubles burdening, when feeling helpless was the only thing that could be done. Not a good feeling, I might add.
The outings weren’t as extravagant or entertaining such as how the others ‘happenings’ would spend their times. Ours were mundane and ordinary; nonetheless it was nearly as entertaining and enjoyable knowing that not every entertainment was for everyone. We were getting old I’d say, but realizing that a peaceful untroubled outing is all that matters.
The more you know and research about the world and its people, the more chaotic you realize it is. People from before us were as complicated and troubled as we are now. I guess it all sums out by the saying, ‘life is a circle’. Well, of course if what you study or research are about evil countries, organizations and evil people. The most knowledge you gain is about their deceptions and the parts they play in turning the world to their benefits.
One would have the exact opposite knowing if he chooses to study or research about the "do gooders" and their kind I am thinking, that he would learn of how wonderful the world is and the people who inhabits it. But it normally does succumb to complications and confusions living in a time where doing good and bad come hand in hand.
I guess, what kept us together was the fact that some of us were unhappy and shared the same uneasiness or at least understands the other and also not forgetting the method of communication that doesn’t differs from others such as constant phone calls, text messages and when all fails, going to a friends place and abruptly waking their sleeping ass off was the only solution. We enjoyed it; even the person whose awakening was rather rude might have felt appreciated. Luckily enough the parents didn’t seem to make it a big issue.
I am not bragging or boasting of our friendship: it was somewhat peculiar that as people who weren’t on talking terms during the early day as we were from different groups or clans if it’s clearer to you. And becoming close friends later on was something that was not expected. I guess, I realized by that time that being at fancy places and hanging with a particular group feeling superior to the rest weren’t completely convincing. Hanging with people who constantly tried to prove that they were better than the rest of the lots was too undermining and arrogant. That was my perception then and still is.
There weren’t many of us but it often consists of nice guys who were tolerable and tolerate to each other. I was getting prepared to head home from work. It was just a normal boring day at work but since boring was always better compared to trouble, I had no complaints.
It was a wonder to know that only a few enjoyed their jobs (it could also be only my friends) but there weren’t any other way to live a normal life. I am a slave of money and the need of it controls my life. Yet, still there was always hope or in the very end, acceptance.
I heard a familiar sound coming from my phone and there was two text messages arriving almost simultaneously with almost the same message but from different people. It lighted my day, we had a plan for the night and despite the weariness I was energetic as if the day had just started. The mind plays tricks on us.
My arrival at home was normal and I somewhat felt gratified having a place to return to, in hope that I would still have a place to return to in the future. It was a scary thought: I tried not to decorate my mind with thinking of unpleasantness. There was a phone call conveying a message that I had to get ready in ten minutes time. It crushed my dream of having a brisk sleep to refrain from the weariness I felt. I got readied and after a quick shower looked outside searching for any vehicles parked outside the house. There was one and it looked rather agitated, I hurried outside and we were soon heading towards our destination but before that to another friends place. The driver was a kindhearted guy who didn’t mind the driving and the picking ups and the sending backs. I guess we all badly wanted to get off from home especially after a day worth of tiring work, with a similar way of thinking that is of rewarding thyself, not too much though, knowing limits.
It was cold outside as it was raining the car’s wipers were put on to work and was busy wiping the glass from one end to another. The sound of rain drops dropping on the roof were clear despite the noise coming out from the speakers. The road was wet hence slippery. The driver was cautioned to be careful and he abided it. Some were already sleeping in the car due to exhaustion from the day and work. The rest of us were chatting away pointlessly and would occasionally talk about useful awareness matters. But most of the time it was just the absurd jokes, sarcasm and cynical comments.
By the time we reached our destination everyone in the vehicle was awoken and was walking out of it and were told to resume their goodnight sleep in the cinema. Tickets were bought and we went on walking for a while and to the movies. It wasn’t bad neither it was good. We managed to waste a few moments with a price to pay but nonetheless, the free times , it was not spent alone.
It was already late and most of us had to wake up early in the morning, doing about the same routine and come back home exhausted. We were all seated in a friend’s vehicle and were set to go back to our living place. Everyone looked sleepy and some might even already started regretting coming along and there was a guy at the back already dozing off. The air was now quiet and the song that was aired on the radio was a tune that most of us liked and it was pleasant (it was entitled ‘I hate you then I love you’). Everything seemed perfect. The seat was cozy, the air condition was perfect, and the friends were either sleeping or their thoughts drifting somewhere only they’d know. There was complete silence for the exception of the song. I was, at the moment in the state of mind of trying to appreciate every essence and aspects of life while I could hence I was totally engulfed in my thoughts and was on the verge of sleeping.
I found myself thinking of yesterday’s night. I hung with a totally opposite crowd compared to this one and funnily enough they too were childhood and close friends.
I was picked up after work and we were off to a friend’s house nearby, it was already past midnight. The activities there too were boring but it was not bad. I remembered coming home almost at dawn thinking that I’ve spent a few hours playing a video game. I could’ve slept. The same game every time but it was always fun every single time, it was winning eleven 9. The game was so realistic that it felt almost real.
The atmosphere were cheerful and smoky, the lot had a little too many joints. And everyone was super sensitive even the ones who weren’t smoking, it could have been the effects of losing. Everyone looked worn out; after a couple more hours of playing the game and ranting pointlessly I decided that it was time to go back.
The song changed, I was aware of that but my eyes were still closed. The next song was on, I could hear my friends that were awake talking, and it was the guy from the backseat talking and the driver friend, listening to his story. He disrupted his story and started saying on how they’re going to have trouble waking up in the morning. The seat was comfortable and huge, I felt safe, I was with my close buddies, and I thought to myself that I don’t regret knowing them.
A few minutes passed, I opened my eyes to see where we at and looked at my friend who was driving and realized that he was sleeping.
I didn’t want to panic, but I was shocked. I shouted his name and shook him up as fast as I could. He opened his eyes, and took control of the vehicle. A sigh of relief I felt for a moment, but as I looked ahead there was a lorry in front and my heart stopped beating. I didn’t know about the guys at the back but flashes of thoughts passed through my head and before the next thought came across, there was the crash, a loud cracking collision.
I opened my eyes, only to hear distance footsteps walking away from me. My mind paused, so did everything else.
‘Then, what happened?’ the friend who was driving asked.
‘How, would I know, I was just telling you a story of what would happen, if you felt asleep while driving’. Reply came from the back.
It was all so confusing and chaotic. I now felt, someone pressing on to my arms and shaking me up I opened my eyes now, the friend who was driving was not driving anymore, the vehicle was stopped and I looked at him, looking at him staring at me. I looked back at him innocently and questioned him,
‘What?’
‘Get out’, was what he said and I turned around to see where I was at. I was in front of my home and was relieved to be back. I looked back in the car, twisting my back, looking for the occupants at the back, there was no one there.
I looked confused and told my friend, ‘dude you won’t believe what I dreamt about’. To my surprise he coldly said, ‘No’. I climbed down and shut the heavy door. The car drove swiftly past me.
It was difficult for us to hang as we used to, but the opportunity given would not be wasted by sitting at home surrounded by problems and problematic people. The mood was pretentious while the troubles were real. Neither of us enjoyed sticking at home with unsettled troubles burdening, when feeling helpless was the only thing that could be done. Not a good feeling, I might add.
The outings weren’t as extravagant or entertaining such as how the others ‘happenings’ would spend their times. Ours were mundane and ordinary; nonetheless it was nearly as entertaining and enjoyable knowing that not every entertainment was for everyone. We were getting old I’d say, but realizing that a peaceful untroubled outing is all that matters.
The more you know and research about the world and its people, the more chaotic you realize it is. People from before us were as complicated and troubled as we are now. I guess it all sums out by the saying, ‘life is a circle’. Well, of course if what you study or research are about evil countries, organizations and evil people. The most knowledge you gain is about their deceptions and the parts they play in turning the world to their benefits.
One would have the exact opposite knowing if he chooses to study or research about the "do gooders" and their kind I am thinking, that he would learn of how wonderful the world is and the people who inhabits it. But it normally does succumb to complications and confusions living in a time where doing good and bad come hand in hand.
I guess, what kept us together was the fact that some of us were unhappy and shared the same uneasiness or at least understands the other and also not forgetting the method of communication that doesn’t differs from others such as constant phone calls, text messages and when all fails, going to a friends place and abruptly waking their sleeping ass off was the only solution. We enjoyed it; even the person whose awakening was rather rude might have felt appreciated. Luckily enough the parents didn’t seem to make it a big issue.
I am not bragging or boasting of our friendship: it was somewhat peculiar that as people who weren’t on talking terms during the early day as we were from different groups or clans if it’s clearer to you. And becoming close friends later on was something that was not expected. I guess, I realized by that time that being at fancy places and hanging with a particular group feeling superior to the rest weren’t completely convincing. Hanging with people who constantly tried to prove that they were better than the rest of the lots was too undermining and arrogant. That was my perception then and still is.
There weren’t many of us but it often consists of nice guys who were tolerable and tolerate to each other. I was getting prepared to head home from work. It was just a normal boring day at work but since boring was always better compared to trouble, I had no complaints.
It was a wonder to know that only a few enjoyed their jobs (it could also be only my friends) but there weren’t any other way to live a normal life. I am a slave of money and the need of it controls my life. Yet, still there was always hope or in the very end, acceptance.
I heard a familiar sound coming from my phone and there was two text messages arriving almost simultaneously with almost the same message but from different people. It lighted my day, we had a plan for the night and despite the weariness I was energetic as if the day had just started. The mind plays tricks on us.
My arrival at home was normal and I somewhat felt gratified having a place to return to, in hope that I would still have a place to return to in the future. It was a scary thought: I tried not to decorate my mind with thinking of unpleasantness. There was a phone call conveying a message that I had to get ready in ten minutes time. It crushed my dream of having a brisk sleep to refrain from the weariness I felt. I got readied and after a quick shower looked outside searching for any vehicles parked outside the house. There was one and it looked rather agitated, I hurried outside and we were soon heading towards our destination but before that to another friends place. The driver was a kindhearted guy who didn’t mind the driving and the picking ups and the sending backs. I guess we all badly wanted to get off from home especially after a day worth of tiring work, with a similar way of thinking that is of rewarding thyself, not too much though, knowing limits.
It was cold outside as it was raining the car’s wipers were put on to work and was busy wiping the glass from one end to another. The sound of rain drops dropping on the roof were clear despite the noise coming out from the speakers. The road was wet hence slippery. The driver was cautioned to be careful and he abided it. Some were already sleeping in the car due to exhaustion from the day and work. The rest of us were chatting away pointlessly and would occasionally talk about useful awareness matters. But most of the time it was just the absurd jokes, sarcasm and cynical comments.
By the time we reached our destination everyone in the vehicle was awoken and was walking out of it and were told to resume their goodnight sleep in the cinema. Tickets were bought and we went on walking for a while and to the movies. It wasn’t bad neither it was good. We managed to waste a few moments with a price to pay but nonetheless, the free times , it was not spent alone.
It was already late and most of us had to wake up early in the morning, doing about the same routine and come back home exhausted. We were all seated in a friend’s vehicle and were set to go back to our living place. Everyone looked sleepy and some might even already started regretting coming along and there was a guy at the back already dozing off. The air was now quiet and the song that was aired on the radio was a tune that most of us liked and it was pleasant (it was entitled ‘I hate you then I love you’). Everything seemed perfect. The seat was cozy, the air condition was perfect, and the friends were either sleeping or their thoughts drifting somewhere only they’d know. There was complete silence for the exception of the song. I was, at the moment in the state of mind of trying to appreciate every essence and aspects of life while I could hence I was totally engulfed in my thoughts and was on the verge of sleeping.
I found myself thinking of yesterday’s night. I hung with a totally opposite crowd compared to this one and funnily enough they too were childhood and close friends.
I was picked up after work and we were off to a friend’s house nearby, it was already past midnight. The activities there too were boring but it was not bad. I remembered coming home almost at dawn thinking that I’ve spent a few hours playing a video game. I could’ve slept. The same game every time but it was always fun every single time, it was winning eleven 9. The game was so realistic that it felt almost real.
The atmosphere were cheerful and smoky, the lot had a little too many joints. And everyone was super sensitive even the ones who weren’t smoking, it could have been the effects of losing. Everyone looked worn out; after a couple more hours of playing the game and ranting pointlessly I decided that it was time to go back.
The song changed, I was aware of that but my eyes were still closed. The next song was on, I could hear my friends that were awake talking, and it was the guy from the backseat talking and the driver friend, listening to his story. He disrupted his story and started saying on how they’re going to have trouble waking up in the morning. The seat was comfortable and huge, I felt safe, I was with my close buddies, and I thought to myself that I don’t regret knowing them.
A few minutes passed, I opened my eyes to see where we at and looked at my friend who was driving and realized that he was sleeping.
I didn’t want to panic, but I was shocked. I shouted his name and shook him up as fast as I could. He opened his eyes, and took control of the vehicle. A sigh of relief I felt for a moment, but as I looked ahead there was a lorry in front and my heart stopped beating. I didn’t know about the guys at the back but flashes of thoughts passed through my head and before the next thought came across, there was the crash, a loud cracking collision.
I opened my eyes, only to hear distance footsteps walking away from me. My mind paused, so did everything else.
‘Then, what happened?’ the friend who was driving asked.
‘How, would I know, I was just telling you a story of what would happen, if you felt asleep while driving’. Reply came from the back.
It was all so confusing and chaotic. I now felt, someone pressing on to my arms and shaking me up I opened my eyes now, the friend who was driving was not driving anymore, the vehicle was stopped and I looked at him, looking at him staring at me. I looked back at him innocently and questioned him,
‘What?’
‘Get out’, was what he said and I turned around to see where I was at. I was in front of my home and was relieved to be back. I looked back in the car, twisting my back, looking for the occupants at the back, there was no one there.
I looked confused and told my friend, ‘dude you won’t believe what I dreamt about’. To my surprise he coldly said, ‘No’. I climbed down and shut the heavy door. The car drove swiftly past me.
Lousy Movie Review
Another Monday and yes, I am bored. Really bored, I have exhausted all other options such as surfing the net, watching clips from the net, listening to music, and reading, day dreaming and staring pointlessly at the papaya trees outside. I succumbed to writing.
But unlike every other complaining/ whining entry like before this particular entry would be different. Frankly speaking, I myself am tired of complaining as in for now.
Yesterday was quite hectic but I won’t go on elaborating or ranting about what I did or where I went to or how unlucky of a person I am. Yesterday was a Sunday, just felt like saying it.
What I am going to write about this time at my work place in a sunny (not the nice type of sunny) afternoon surrounded by electrical gadgets is about something I saw yesterday.
After a long hectic day of working and mending some other petty businesses I went out with a friend and to my pleasant surprise he gave me more like lend me a dvd of a movie that I badly wanted to see. He claimed that he just bought it and just finished watching it. He added that the movie was brilliant and since I was the one who recommended the movie to him I coolly asked him, “Who’s your daddy?”
The movie was about a young adult who was wrongly accused of cocaine possession which actually belonged to his dorm mate. Hence, he was expelled from school. He then decided to move to a place where football was a craze and fans were fanatic about the sport. Upon reaching his destination and greeted by his relative. He followed his relative back home and met with the other family members that he met for the first time.
Soon enough, as expected he went to a football match with a relative of his relative, to make matters simpler, his cousin. It was his first and I could tell that he was amazed by the game and the fans; I know that I’d be.
He realized that it wasn’t the game itself that mattered. Outer factors like rivalries among fans were a huge thing in the country. They hung out in a bar where only supporters from a certain club/ association would hang there. He wasn’t feeling that well after the game, the got into a fight right after the match and it was his first experience of watching a football match and getting into a fight.
The pain was no longer felt as they were all drunk and drunk. It was a way of life there. They would drink before after and perhaps in between the matches. Despite the commotions, the fights and their hooliganism, he learned something that he would have never learned in his usual mundane life. To stick to his ground and not let anyone step on him. It made him a more confident, respected, and free. Knowing that someone was watching your back and knowing that you’re protecting someone gives a person a sense of belief.
And they got into fights with other hooligans from other clubs for recognition and reputation. He soon was one of them and he loved that way of life. It wasn’t really much about football though, nothing about football skills or the game itself. It was mainly focused on the main cast and the hooligans and their lives. It showed that a person having believing in something dear to them wouldn’t mind sacrificing their lives in what they believed in.
The movie continued with more rivalries and fist fights amongst club fanatics. It was an exceptional movie I’d say and in addition to that there were no romance at all in the movie. Basically the only lady in the movie was his relative and that was all. It was nice to have seen something a little bit different than the usual ones.
Towards the end of the movie there was the usual ‘twist’ just like every other movies which stirred tension amongst the group members itself and one thing lead to another, there was more fighting and Things got more disappointing, I am guessing here.
And more towards the end of the movie the main cast learned about the consequences of being a hooligan and that there was more to life than football. But, whatever it is, the bond of friendship was strong that any consequences didn’t matter. I guess the movie in a way was about friendship and the strong bond friend’s posses and how strong it was. Over all its an exciting movie filled with action and British accent and it’s worth buying, obviously the pirated dvd 9 one.
That’s my review of the movie, I know it was poorly described and I probably didn’t convey the actual message of the movie. Well, I guess that’s the movie from my point of view and what the hell, I am killing time. I didn’t want to ruin it for some friends who might happen to watch it by telling what happens in the ending hence, I decided not to write about it.
Ill ramble more in the days to come for now it’s too hot and it’s mentally weakening. Till later.
But unlike every other complaining/ whining entry like before this particular entry would be different. Frankly speaking, I myself am tired of complaining as in for now.
Yesterday was quite hectic but I won’t go on elaborating or ranting about what I did or where I went to or how unlucky of a person I am. Yesterday was a Sunday, just felt like saying it.
What I am going to write about this time at my work place in a sunny (not the nice type of sunny) afternoon surrounded by electrical gadgets is about something I saw yesterday.
After a long hectic day of working and mending some other petty businesses I went out with a friend and to my pleasant surprise he gave me more like lend me a dvd of a movie that I badly wanted to see. He claimed that he just bought it and just finished watching it. He added that the movie was brilliant and since I was the one who recommended the movie to him I coolly asked him, “Who’s your daddy?”
The movie was about a young adult who was wrongly accused of cocaine possession which actually belonged to his dorm mate. Hence, he was expelled from school. He then decided to move to a place where football was a craze and fans were fanatic about the sport. Upon reaching his destination and greeted by his relative. He followed his relative back home and met with the other family members that he met for the first time.
Soon enough, as expected he went to a football match with a relative of his relative, to make matters simpler, his cousin. It was his first and I could tell that he was amazed by the game and the fans; I know that I’d be.
He realized that it wasn’t the game itself that mattered. Outer factors like rivalries among fans were a huge thing in the country. They hung out in a bar where only supporters from a certain club/ association would hang there. He wasn’t feeling that well after the game, the got into a fight right after the match and it was his first experience of watching a football match and getting into a fight.
The pain was no longer felt as they were all drunk and drunk. It was a way of life there. They would drink before after and perhaps in between the matches. Despite the commotions, the fights and their hooliganism, he learned something that he would have never learned in his usual mundane life. To stick to his ground and not let anyone step on him. It made him a more confident, respected, and free. Knowing that someone was watching your back and knowing that you’re protecting someone gives a person a sense of belief.
And they got into fights with other hooligans from other clubs for recognition and reputation. He soon was one of them and he loved that way of life. It wasn’t really much about football though, nothing about football skills or the game itself. It was mainly focused on the main cast and the hooligans and their lives. It showed that a person having believing in something dear to them wouldn’t mind sacrificing their lives in what they believed in.
The movie continued with more rivalries and fist fights amongst club fanatics. It was an exceptional movie I’d say and in addition to that there were no romance at all in the movie. Basically the only lady in the movie was his relative and that was all. It was nice to have seen something a little bit different than the usual ones.
Towards the end of the movie there was the usual ‘twist’ just like every other movies which stirred tension amongst the group members itself and one thing lead to another, there was more fighting and Things got more disappointing, I am guessing here.
And more towards the end of the movie the main cast learned about the consequences of being a hooligan and that there was more to life than football. But, whatever it is, the bond of friendship was strong that any consequences didn’t matter. I guess the movie in a way was about friendship and the strong bond friend’s posses and how strong it was. Over all its an exciting movie filled with action and British accent and it’s worth buying, obviously the pirated dvd 9 one.
That’s my review of the movie, I know it was poorly described and I probably didn’t convey the actual message of the movie. Well, I guess that’s the movie from my point of view and what the hell, I am killing time. I didn’t want to ruin it for some friends who might happen to watch it by telling what happens in the ending hence, I decided not to write about it.
Ill ramble more in the days to come for now it’s too hot and it’s mentally weakening. Till later.
the writer was really bored
My name is Saprol. I don’t like the way it sounds. I don’t like the way when people call my name. I wonder why my parents gave me that name. It was okay when I was little. Not anymore.
Before I start whining and elaborating with disgust about my name, ill tell a bad Israeli joke, which I read from somewhere (a book). A merchant was selling brains. He exclaimed the Arab brain was for $250 and the Jew one was $2. When asked why, the merchant answered, ‘because it’s hardly ever used’.
Unlike the other days/ nights today was much cooler and here I am sitting in my room and punching the keyboard in order to express the way I feel about my name. In hope that I would feel better later on, knowing that I’ve done something to mend the way I feel.
We had guests of my dad coming over tonight. They were about to have dinner in my house to respect my father’s invitation. They were to show up anytime soon. I had nothing to do with it, but when they all have arrived I had to go down and shake their hands, to show respect. A family and a few of his close friends were assumed to show up. I am thinking of going out to have a drink with some friends, close friends, who don’t care about my name. Friends called me Aprol, it sounds way better than Saprol. And it sounds similar to the month April. Sometimes I tell people that I was named Aprol because my mum gave birth to me in the month of April. They’d always reply, ‘that’s so weird’. Of course it was. It was a lie.
The expected guest arrived approximately half an hour or forty five minutes later than promised. It was a tradition by now. Coming late, that is. Almost everyone I knew weren’t punctual. It’s nothing new though. I am guessing they were giving their host, the people who were expecting them more time to get ready or prepare or dress or for whatever the occasion was. I could hear people’s voices talking, laughing, and almost shouting downstairs. I could hear them clearly though the door to my room was closed. I decided it was time for me to go down and shake hands and address myself to the guests. I opened the door; the voices were much louder and clearer than before. I could see people settling down on the couch from where I was standing, just outside the room.
The television was turned on upstairs, which was the hangout place for my mom and siblings. It was a place, to them, private and soothing. There were a couple of telies and other electrical gadgets, most of them were for entertainment. Some were not; they were positioned accordingly on the large wooden table which was originally meant for studying. If I am not mistaken about that, I noticed both my siblings and my mum affectionately watching a Korean show that was on at that time. I looked at them in disgust and shouted, ‘why wasn’t I informed about the show, and you’re supposed to be down entertaining the guests. Looking at my mother, ‘your father can do that, besides the dinner is all served and all they need to do is to feed themselves’. She replied then turned around continued watching the show. That was her only getaway and I wasn’t planning to ruin it. I ignored the rest of the occupants upstairs and was on my way down the stairs. Upon reaching the end of the staircase I slowed my pace and walked calmly headed towards the guests. They were all seated on the couch and were talking about something of their interest.
I saw a crowd of 10 or so. Most of the faces were familiar except for the one who brought the family. I recognized the guy but not his family. I started shaking their hands and saying hello, smiling to them as if I was welcoming them to my dad’s home. My dad introduced me, telling to his friends, ‘this is Saprol, my second child, he has grown a lot’. The little girl, who came with her family at that time, looked as if she was stopping herself from laughing. She looked at me and said, ‘Saprol’. Softly I could barely hear her, but knew she was making fun of my name. I just smiled back and continued shaking hands of the other guests. One of the men said to me, ‘Saprol, now that’s a unique name’. He was smiling as if he was amused by it. I replied, ‘oh, thank you, yes I am aware of that’. I couldn’t wait to get out from the crowd. I was used to it but wasn’t immune to it.
There was a riddle I remember a business man asked to another. Why is it that women aren’t used for cutting deals? The answer was because women give and forgive and men get and forget. Anyways, I succeeded in leaving the guests almost immediately as I said that I had something important to attend to. I excused myself and I noticed my father gesturing his guests to the dining table not so distant from where they were seating. They were making their way towards it. I was upstairs back in seconds. I climbed the wooden layered stairs swiftly and found myself standing directly in front of the T.V. the show was still on and the viewers were still there.
I didn’t quite follow the show but whenever I had the chance. I’d watch it. Mainly because of the actress who acted in it. She was attractive and there was something about the way she looked that made me judge that she wasn’t only nice on the show. And the character that she played in the show was that of a lady living in a modern world yet still was old fashioned. Something about old fashioned girls that I am practically obsessed about I think it’s because they were nicer in general. I stood there for a while watching the T.V with the rest of the family members excluding my dad. It stopped for commercial and I saw movements. Movements of people walking by, readjusting their seats and the one with power was holding the remote and started browsing the channels till the show was on back. I was still standing in front of the T.V there wasn’t any chair left for me to sit on. I made my way back to my room. Switched the light and fan on and feeling glad that I was back in my room with no one to disturb me.
I was sitting in front of my computer with a game controller in my hand. My phone rang. Its tune was of the Mac Gyver song. I thought that it was cool and since it was mine (the phone). I decided that it was cool to have that tune as a ring tone even when it’s really old and people don’t recognize it anymore. I decided on not to answer it, but after thinking twice thinking that it wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do, answered it. I switched of the computer put on some clothes randomly and switched of the fan and light in the room and made my way out. I eyed the T.V one last time looking at the hot Korean chick and feeling good about it. I was downstairs and fortunately didn’t have to shake the guest’s hands because they were eating, ignoring the kids, and said to my dad that I’d be out for a while. I was out of the house and my friend was in his vehicle waiting for me to get in. I wasn’t disgusted by the name given to me for now. I decided that I’ll think of it some other time and if I am still unhappy about it. I’d change it. For now, I plan on ignoring the fact that I have a weird name and pretend as if I am contend with it.
Before I start whining and elaborating with disgust about my name, ill tell a bad Israeli joke, which I read from somewhere (a book). A merchant was selling brains. He exclaimed the Arab brain was for $250 and the Jew one was $2. When asked why, the merchant answered, ‘because it’s hardly ever used’.
Unlike the other days/ nights today was much cooler and here I am sitting in my room and punching the keyboard in order to express the way I feel about my name. In hope that I would feel better later on, knowing that I’ve done something to mend the way I feel.
We had guests of my dad coming over tonight. They were about to have dinner in my house to respect my father’s invitation. They were to show up anytime soon. I had nothing to do with it, but when they all have arrived I had to go down and shake their hands, to show respect. A family and a few of his close friends were assumed to show up. I am thinking of going out to have a drink with some friends, close friends, who don’t care about my name. Friends called me Aprol, it sounds way better than Saprol. And it sounds similar to the month April. Sometimes I tell people that I was named Aprol because my mum gave birth to me in the month of April. They’d always reply, ‘that’s so weird’. Of course it was. It was a lie.
The expected guest arrived approximately half an hour or forty five minutes later than promised. It was a tradition by now. Coming late, that is. Almost everyone I knew weren’t punctual. It’s nothing new though. I am guessing they were giving their host, the people who were expecting them more time to get ready or prepare or dress or for whatever the occasion was. I could hear people’s voices talking, laughing, and almost shouting downstairs. I could hear them clearly though the door to my room was closed. I decided it was time for me to go down and shake hands and address myself to the guests. I opened the door; the voices were much louder and clearer than before. I could see people settling down on the couch from where I was standing, just outside the room.
The television was turned on upstairs, which was the hangout place for my mom and siblings. It was a place, to them, private and soothing. There were a couple of telies and other electrical gadgets, most of them were for entertainment. Some were not; they were positioned accordingly on the large wooden table which was originally meant for studying. If I am not mistaken about that, I noticed both my siblings and my mum affectionately watching a Korean show that was on at that time. I looked at them in disgust and shouted, ‘why wasn’t I informed about the show, and you’re supposed to be down entertaining the guests. Looking at my mother, ‘your father can do that, besides the dinner is all served and all they need to do is to feed themselves’. She replied then turned around continued watching the show. That was her only getaway and I wasn’t planning to ruin it. I ignored the rest of the occupants upstairs and was on my way down the stairs. Upon reaching the end of the staircase I slowed my pace and walked calmly headed towards the guests. They were all seated on the couch and were talking about something of their interest.
I saw a crowd of 10 or so. Most of the faces were familiar except for the one who brought the family. I recognized the guy but not his family. I started shaking their hands and saying hello, smiling to them as if I was welcoming them to my dad’s home. My dad introduced me, telling to his friends, ‘this is Saprol, my second child, he has grown a lot’. The little girl, who came with her family at that time, looked as if she was stopping herself from laughing. She looked at me and said, ‘Saprol’. Softly I could barely hear her, but knew she was making fun of my name. I just smiled back and continued shaking hands of the other guests. One of the men said to me, ‘Saprol, now that’s a unique name’. He was smiling as if he was amused by it. I replied, ‘oh, thank you, yes I am aware of that’. I couldn’t wait to get out from the crowd. I was used to it but wasn’t immune to it.
There was a riddle I remember a business man asked to another. Why is it that women aren’t used for cutting deals? The answer was because women give and forgive and men get and forget. Anyways, I succeeded in leaving the guests almost immediately as I said that I had something important to attend to. I excused myself and I noticed my father gesturing his guests to the dining table not so distant from where they were seating. They were making their way towards it. I was upstairs back in seconds. I climbed the wooden layered stairs swiftly and found myself standing directly in front of the T.V. the show was still on and the viewers were still there.
I didn’t quite follow the show but whenever I had the chance. I’d watch it. Mainly because of the actress who acted in it. She was attractive and there was something about the way she looked that made me judge that she wasn’t only nice on the show. And the character that she played in the show was that of a lady living in a modern world yet still was old fashioned. Something about old fashioned girls that I am practically obsessed about I think it’s because they were nicer in general. I stood there for a while watching the T.V with the rest of the family members excluding my dad. It stopped for commercial and I saw movements. Movements of people walking by, readjusting their seats and the one with power was holding the remote and started browsing the channels till the show was on back. I was still standing in front of the T.V there wasn’t any chair left for me to sit on. I made my way back to my room. Switched the light and fan on and feeling glad that I was back in my room with no one to disturb me.
I was sitting in front of my computer with a game controller in my hand. My phone rang. Its tune was of the Mac Gyver song. I thought that it was cool and since it was mine (the phone). I decided that it was cool to have that tune as a ring tone even when it’s really old and people don’t recognize it anymore. I decided on not to answer it, but after thinking twice thinking that it wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do, answered it. I switched of the computer put on some clothes randomly and switched of the fan and light in the room and made my way out. I eyed the T.V one last time looking at the hot Korean chick and feeling good about it. I was downstairs and fortunately didn’t have to shake the guest’s hands because they were eating, ignoring the kids, and said to my dad that I’d be out for a while. I was out of the house and my friend was in his vehicle waiting for me to get in. I wasn’t disgusted by the name given to me for now. I decided that I’ll think of it some other time and if I am still unhappy about it. I’d change it. For now, I plan on ignoring the fact that I have a weird name and pretend as if I am contend with it.
Beck
It started with a bad decision. I had made a promise that I shouldn’t have, I was at work and the time was 10 minutes to 8pm. I was ready to get off. I only had two hours of sleep, on the day before. I began to regret my decision to go hang out with some friends when I hadn’t had enough sleep and had to come in work the very next morning. My name is Beck. I don’t like to elaborate upon myself. I work in a store.
I live alone in a rented room somewhere not so far from my working place. I reached home after a few minutes, room I mean. The people I lived with ignored my presence and continued watching the reality show on the T.V. that was aired at that time. As I walked past them I realized that they were paused and their eyes fixed on the television screen. My subtle movements walking past them didn’t seem to have played any effect on them. I passed them and was already used to, being ignored. I didn’t really mind that. I even preferred it that way. I headed towards the wooden staircase which led to my room. There were two other rooms belonged to the landlord and their children. I climbed the wooden stairs lit by a bulb which transcend a faint yellow light. Along the staircase, I passed some frames of pictures which were nailed to the wall. It contained decorative pictures of nature, trees and of that sort. I was bored at looking at it every time I climbed the stairs.
After what that seemed like a long tiring climb. I finally reached the top and was heading to the room I stayed in. it was a few feet away from the stairs. The upstairs was lit up with a long white tube light. I stood outside my room; my hands were digging into my pants pockets. I took the bunch of keys out and looked at them trying to recognize the one for the room. I twisted the door knob now after I found the right key and placed it in its hole and twisted my hand upwards unlocking the door. I opened it, it smelled of cigarettes, dirty laundry and a mixture of the both and some other smells I couldn’t possibly identify. I found the switch to the light placed on the wall without trouble and switched it on. It flickered a bit at first, but after a few seconds it lit up. I entered the room and began to undress. Tossing my clothes on the floor, the room was small; the windows weren’t visible, as it was draped by multiple layers of thick clothing material, refusing light from the outside. I made my way to the washroom and took a quick shower. The room had no cupboard or cabinets my clothes were piled up accordingly into two towers.
I came out of the washroom, somewhat looking refreshed but my eyes were heavy and it burned a little. I was now heading to the towers of clothes placed on the wooden surfaced floor. The phone rang; it was my second most precious possession (the phone). I picked it up and answered it. My friends were already on their way to pick me up, as promised. I didn’t like to make people wait. I didn’t like, waiting for people. So, I tried my best to be punctual. So that, I wont be a hypocrite, I hurried down switching of the light, took my needed possessions, stuffing them in my left and right pockets. Locking the room door and headed down the stairs decorated by frames of pictures nailed to the wall. I reached down the stairs and I paused for a while, surprised looking at the people, still in front of the idiot box, one of the young girls, now had her eyes on the phone and hurriedly was typing on the phones keypad and her hand movements showed me that she was typing a message. I faintly heard her said from afar, ‘he has to win’. If that was what I heard, some of the other viewers, now upon recognizing my presence and knowing that I was staring at them, continued ignoring me and was once again transfixed on the show, they looked nervous and the women looked as is they were all going to breakdown with tears. I started moving and walked past them unlocking the door and locking it back, still staring at them, at their sad looking facial expressions. I thought to myself, its ironic how people who in real life, who can be cruel and insensitive towards others in their lives, but could cry like a baby watching a so called reality show, on the television rooting for some strangers who are well of compared to the really needy.
I shook the thought of my head and I was now already in the car with some friends and was heading to dinner. It was always nice when I was out doing something, with friends I felt comfortable with. It made me not think too much and I was occupying my free time after work. I didn’t feel all that tired anymore. After having our dinner, we were contemplating on where to go next. Having nothing to do, we just drove around and went sight seeing. There wasn’t much to see, but it was better than heading back home, alone and with nothing to do. It was almost three in the morning when I was sent back home. I opened the door, as I placed a foot on the tar covered street and upon coming out from the car. The idiot friend who was the driver accidentally stepped on the accelerator just a bit, but still causing me to lose my balance and I had to bring my other leg out to maintain it, before I could do that, since it was so sudden caused me to twist my ankle caused by the lost of balance caused by the friend who claims that he accidentally stepped on the accelerator. I believed him. It wasn’t that bad, ill just have trouble walking for a few days. The sorry friend said that he was sorry and the look on his face proved it.
I got into the house, everyone was asleep by now. I went up the dark staircases and made it to my room limping a little bit. I switched the light on and also the tiny little table fan which was situated in the middle of the room on the parquet covered floor. I removed my clothing’s and replacing it with shorts, I was now lying on the floor, my head rested on a couple of pillows that was already there. There was a tiny T.V in the room, I didn’t watch it anymore. The T.V was broken. I found a book and started reading it, my eyes were tired, I was tired but wasn’t able to rest my mind. I was reading the book I had in my grasp. But my thoughts were lingered somewhere else, I realized it but merely continued reading the words, sentences, paragraphs which I didn’t really pay attention to.
I woke up hearing the noise my phone was making; I had to bring myself up involuntarily. The room stayed dark, as there was no sunlight coming through, I got into the washroom and realized that my journey to the washroom hurt more than usual. My leg near the ankle area was a little bit swelled up. I ignored it and tried to act as if it didn’t bother me. Got dressed up and almost stumbled upon the table fan which was on the floor and I envisioned that if I did happen to stumble upon the fan, I would land straight to the most organized division in the room. The tower, the tower of clothes which almost decorated the room, at the same time kept my clothes well organized. I went down the stairs, passed the hallway, ignoring the people ignoring me.
I was on my way to the work place. The path I used was the fastest way to get to my destination. I’d experience every other routes to get there and finally I had one that was the most sufficient. My leg hurt still and I was trying not to limp. The weather was hot, not even five minutes have passed since I started walking, I began to sweat but having no other choice, resumed walking. My mind as I walked, was now lingering into many thoughts and soon enough I was dreading about not having a promising definite positive future like some of my friends. One thought led to another, and I was now dreading on not being as fortunate or even similar to many of them (friends). I was different on many aspects. I didn’t care about that anymore, I started to believe that no matter what sort of circumstances one is put in. he has the responsibility and the ability to make himself perhaps not as successful as others but never the less, more respectful. That was what I thought then, on my way walking to the place I work at. Thinking about what I thought again, wanting to do something and saying it, is vastly different than actually doing it.
I was almost there. The occurrence of what was about to occur was something that I could never fully forget and it made me more confused, a little bit more. It was as if we were destined to me each other. There was a huge lorry parked alongside the road. As I was nearing it the driver came out of his huge vehicle. He opened the door and hopped outside. He wasn’t paying any attention to me, I was fine with that. He looked just like every other man, slightly untidy though I might add. I was still walking, now exactly side by side the lorry’s head. The driver was looking at the door. I wasn’t sure what he was looking at. I was looking at him. I stopped and now I wasn’t blinking. I looked at the man, staring at him as if he was some kind of monster. His hair was curly, his skin dark and his other side of face were as normal as everyone else. But the other side of his face, it wasn’t hard to not notice, he had black dots, on his face like a mole, only that it was a mountain of them.
I stood there awed not looking down at the guy but, I guess I wasn’t ready for this. Funny part was he didn’t even realize that I was standing there transfixed staring at his face covered with something that looked like a bee hive. It looked heavy, it was indescribable, and it covered half his face. To be honest, I was terrified. I finally came to the realization and walked past him and the lorry he came out from. My presence wasn’t even noticed. This was a good thing, then. I didn’t feel unlucky and miserable anymore, that day. I am not being judgmental, well I am, aren’t I.
Days went by after that I resumed my life as usual. Only that I tried to be friendlier with the people around me especially with the people I lived with. I even started talking to the landlord and I think I am slowly making some progress with the others. And the things I don’t have control upon, I try to not think about it too much. However, it wasn’t because of the lorry driver solely, I tried to change. I always wanted to become someone better the lorry driver incident was just one of the many little reasons.
I live alone in a rented room somewhere not so far from my working place. I reached home after a few minutes, room I mean. The people I lived with ignored my presence and continued watching the reality show on the T.V. that was aired at that time. As I walked past them I realized that they were paused and their eyes fixed on the television screen. My subtle movements walking past them didn’t seem to have played any effect on them. I passed them and was already used to, being ignored. I didn’t really mind that. I even preferred it that way. I headed towards the wooden staircase which led to my room. There were two other rooms belonged to the landlord and their children. I climbed the wooden stairs lit by a bulb which transcend a faint yellow light. Along the staircase, I passed some frames of pictures which were nailed to the wall. It contained decorative pictures of nature, trees and of that sort. I was bored at looking at it every time I climbed the stairs.
After what that seemed like a long tiring climb. I finally reached the top and was heading to the room I stayed in. it was a few feet away from the stairs. The upstairs was lit up with a long white tube light. I stood outside my room; my hands were digging into my pants pockets. I took the bunch of keys out and looked at them trying to recognize the one for the room. I twisted the door knob now after I found the right key and placed it in its hole and twisted my hand upwards unlocking the door. I opened it, it smelled of cigarettes, dirty laundry and a mixture of the both and some other smells I couldn’t possibly identify. I found the switch to the light placed on the wall without trouble and switched it on. It flickered a bit at first, but after a few seconds it lit up. I entered the room and began to undress. Tossing my clothes on the floor, the room was small; the windows weren’t visible, as it was draped by multiple layers of thick clothing material, refusing light from the outside. I made my way to the washroom and took a quick shower. The room had no cupboard or cabinets my clothes were piled up accordingly into two towers.
I came out of the washroom, somewhat looking refreshed but my eyes were heavy and it burned a little. I was now heading to the towers of clothes placed on the wooden surfaced floor. The phone rang; it was my second most precious possession (the phone). I picked it up and answered it. My friends were already on their way to pick me up, as promised. I didn’t like to make people wait. I didn’t like, waiting for people. So, I tried my best to be punctual. So that, I wont be a hypocrite, I hurried down switching of the light, took my needed possessions, stuffing them in my left and right pockets. Locking the room door and headed down the stairs decorated by frames of pictures nailed to the wall. I reached down the stairs and I paused for a while, surprised looking at the people, still in front of the idiot box, one of the young girls, now had her eyes on the phone and hurriedly was typing on the phones keypad and her hand movements showed me that she was typing a message. I faintly heard her said from afar, ‘he has to win’. If that was what I heard, some of the other viewers, now upon recognizing my presence and knowing that I was staring at them, continued ignoring me and was once again transfixed on the show, they looked nervous and the women looked as is they were all going to breakdown with tears. I started moving and walked past them unlocking the door and locking it back, still staring at them, at their sad looking facial expressions. I thought to myself, its ironic how people who in real life, who can be cruel and insensitive towards others in their lives, but could cry like a baby watching a so called reality show, on the television rooting for some strangers who are well of compared to the really needy.
I shook the thought of my head and I was now already in the car with some friends and was heading to dinner. It was always nice when I was out doing something, with friends I felt comfortable with. It made me not think too much and I was occupying my free time after work. I didn’t feel all that tired anymore. After having our dinner, we were contemplating on where to go next. Having nothing to do, we just drove around and went sight seeing. There wasn’t much to see, but it was better than heading back home, alone and with nothing to do. It was almost three in the morning when I was sent back home. I opened the door, as I placed a foot on the tar covered street and upon coming out from the car. The idiot friend who was the driver accidentally stepped on the accelerator just a bit, but still causing me to lose my balance and I had to bring my other leg out to maintain it, before I could do that, since it was so sudden caused me to twist my ankle caused by the lost of balance caused by the friend who claims that he accidentally stepped on the accelerator. I believed him. It wasn’t that bad, ill just have trouble walking for a few days. The sorry friend said that he was sorry and the look on his face proved it.
I got into the house, everyone was asleep by now. I went up the dark staircases and made it to my room limping a little bit. I switched the light on and also the tiny little table fan which was situated in the middle of the room on the parquet covered floor. I removed my clothing’s and replacing it with shorts, I was now lying on the floor, my head rested on a couple of pillows that was already there. There was a tiny T.V in the room, I didn’t watch it anymore. The T.V was broken. I found a book and started reading it, my eyes were tired, I was tired but wasn’t able to rest my mind. I was reading the book I had in my grasp. But my thoughts were lingered somewhere else, I realized it but merely continued reading the words, sentences, paragraphs which I didn’t really pay attention to.
I woke up hearing the noise my phone was making; I had to bring myself up involuntarily. The room stayed dark, as there was no sunlight coming through, I got into the washroom and realized that my journey to the washroom hurt more than usual. My leg near the ankle area was a little bit swelled up. I ignored it and tried to act as if it didn’t bother me. Got dressed up and almost stumbled upon the table fan which was on the floor and I envisioned that if I did happen to stumble upon the fan, I would land straight to the most organized division in the room. The tower, the tower of clothes which almost decorated the room, at the same time kept my clothes well organized. I went down the stairs, passed the hallway, ignoring the people ignoring me.
I was on my way to the work place. The path I used was the fastest way to get to my destination. I’d experience every other routes to get there and finally I had one that was the most sufficient. My leg hurt still and I was trying not to limp. The weather was hot, not even five minutes have passed since I started walking, I began to sweat but having no other choice, resumed walking. My mind as I walked, was now lingering into many thoughts and soon enough I was dreading about not having a promising definite positive future like some of my friends. One thought led to another, and I was now dreading on not being as fortunate or even similar to many of them (friends). I was different on many aspects. I didn’t care about that anymore, I started to believe that no matter what sort of circumstances one is put in. he has the responsibility and the ability to make himself perhaps not as successful as others but never the less, more respectful. That was what I thought then, on my way walking to the place I work at. Thinking about what I thought again, wanting to do something and saying it, is vastly different than actually doing it.
I was almost there. The occurrence of what was about to occur was something that I could never fully forget and it made me more confused, a little bit more. It was as if we were destined to me each other. There was a huge lorry parked alongside the road. As I was nearing it the driver came out of his huge vehicle. He opened the door and hopped outside. He wasn’t paying any attention to me, I was fine with that. He looked just like every other man, slightly untidy though I might add. I was still walking, now exactly side by side the lorry’s head. The driver was looking at the door. I wasn’t sure what he was looking at. I was looking at him. I stopped and now I wasn’t blinking. I looked at the man, staring at him as if he was some kind of monster. His hair was curly, his skin dark and his other side of face were as normal as everyone else. But the other side of his face, it wasn’t hard to not notice, he had black dots, on his face like a mole, only that it was a mountain of them.
I stood there awed not looking down at the guy but, I guess I wasn’t ready for this. Funny part was he didn’t even realize that I was standing there transfixed staring at his face covered with something that looked like a bee hive. It looked heavy, it was indescribable, and it covered half his face. To be honest, I was terrified. I finally came to the realization and walked past him and the lorry he came out from. My presence wasn’t even noticed. This was a good thing, then. I didn’t feel unlucky and miserable anymore, that day. I am not being judgmental, well I am, aren’t I.
Days went by after that I resumed my life as usual. Only that I tried to be friendlier with the people around me especially with the people I lived with. I even started talking to the landlord and I think I am slowly making some progress with the others. And the things I don’t have control upon, I try to not think about it too much. However, it wasn’t because of the lorry driver solely, I tried to change. I always wanted to become someone better the lorry driver incident was just one of the many little reasons.
A once upon a time, tale - part 2
The land he sat on, for a long time now; hasn’t been the same as it was. The surrounding trees were dead, the long green grasses were now dark brown and most of the living things were now dead and dried up. He didn’t hear any bird’s twittering now. The land itself was dried and made possible for no living things to live on it. During that while he sat there in grief, mourning. Even when he didn’t do anything sitting there, he experienced a few rare occurrences, which once in a while takes his mind of things and sometimes even amused him. One of them was, during the air raids, the war planes which flew past him hastily above dropped an amount of bombs that ruined the area around him and the area itself. One of the bombs dropped right in front of him, and he saw it dropped. He didn’t know how to react when this happened and just stared at it and was secretly anticipating for it to explode. It just rolled over for a while and after that it laid still, just like him. It didn’t explode. He sighed and murmured to himself, ‘that would have been too easy”, in a failed tone.
There he was, still sitting by his sister’s grave. The sun shone and the stars sparkled, the days went pass by, the weather changed, the war continued and ended when it finally decided to end. Nakata grieved still, he was still sitting at the same spot, but occasionally turning and changing spots when his body ached at some spots or when he was bored of the view fro where he sat. He was there with the gun that he looted in his grasp. For now it was his most cherished treasure and it gave him strength, remarkable strength that strengthened and empowered his mind and confidence, he believed so. He wanted to end it all; he hated his life, even his name and the things that surrounded him. He was failed and without doubt made him a terrible failure (to himself).
Yet, suicide wasn’t an option, he didn’t believe in suicide, it was a despicable thing to do; he remembered his mum saying that when she was alive, he remembered her saying, ‘suicide is for people who has no balls and for people who has not the capability to think forward and enduring things ’. He didn’t agree to it now, but he wanted to believe, comply with, in what she said and as usual be of the same mind as she was. He was sensible enough to not attempt anything stupid. Nakata however was a little curious of the power he had gained. He was curious of what he was able to do with the power in his hand. He wanted to try it out, a boiling rage of anger and curiosity enveloped him. He wanted to avenge the people who once treated them with contempt and wasn’t particularly nice to them, or rather bluntly worded, he wanted to kill the people that treated them like shit. He didn’t really blame them for their doings because it was hard times and everyone had to look upon themselves instead of caring for others. Yet, he still wanted to avenge them. He had to, for the gun that has never left his hand would be of no use. Nakata stood up, staring at the place around him which now has changed and wasn’t the same as it was during their times together. He went into the dark tunnel and for the first time in a long time, tried to sleep in a more comfortable manner, yet it was uncomfortable since his bones were not used to it, since he had been in a sitting position for a long time. He slept while it was dark with no trace of emotions on his face; it was just blanked out without any.
The next morning, he woke up, from a weird dream and he regretted sleeping the night. The dream was too surreal and mind bugging. In his dream there was someone talking to him about his past, presence and his future. The person even advised him not to shoot the people he intended to. He mentioned that it was true, what he felt, he really did have obtained remarkable powers. He also mentioned that the gun didn’t need any ammunition as it was believed to have some sort of magic. This part was mainly bothering his mind when he woke up as he felt that he finally had justice in achieving some sort of power and at the same time was uneasy when the voice said, ‘ you have been given this power particularly for being unlucky and disastrous’. He could go on using the gun over and over again without having to reload said the mysterious person in his dream. Finally he advised Nakata on how one shouldn’t take another’s life and was lecturing him on how not to misuse his powers. Just before he woke up from his dream, the guy in his dreams said that, ‘but if you have to kill them all, you might want to torture them first before killing them, if you’re really angry that is, it would mean much more and more satisfying definitely’, with a grin spreading on his face, as if he was satisfied with what he said, he imagined.
The next morning he was already on his way to try out his new powers and to avenge himself. The land has changed a bit but he still remembered the route to the places he wanted to go, but before he went. He stopped by a nearby house which from outside looked grand and rich. He knocked the door and when it opened, he pointed the gun to the person and said, ‘this’ll only be for a moment’. He didn’t have to say more, the look in his eye was sharp enough to convince the man that he didn’t mind killing. The man looked as expected shocked and fear was obvious from his expression, the man just stood where he was without moving even slightly, he was stiff as a statue. Nakata went up, making the home seemingly his undressed and went to the bathroom and showered. It has been a long while since he last washed up and here he was pampering himself. He filled the tub with water till it was full and just soaked in it for a while, enjoying the warm water around him, running through his body. He came out looking refreshed though his face and expressions were as dark as ever. He went to the cupboard and found clothes that were all too big for him, He now wore a T-shirt, a jacket and a jeans, all of it that didn’t fit him since there wasn’t any that seemed to fitted his size, he didn’t mind though, he was sick of his old rotten clothes that were engraved with bad memories and wearing new, fresh clothes were already good enough compared to the old ones. He folded the jeans up till it looked ok on him. He went down, thanked the man and walked out. The man was still in shock, but didn’t say anything.
He was on his way to the farming place where he used to steal vegetables and fruits. The farmer was farming at the moment and upon realizing that someone was approaching his way, he gave a look of recognition in his face when he saw the person who was emerging towards, and his face shrunken and fear struck, as he waited for Nakata to approach towards him. Once he got closer, Nakata didn’t bother to say anything, his objective was clear it wasn’t even because of vengeance; it was just that he thought he had a reason to do so. Nakata pointed the gun directly at the farmers face, the farmer was trembling from fear, and clearly he had remembered who the boy was, now pointing a gun at him. He tried pleading but, Nakata didn’t hear him, he wasn’t the boy he used to be, his mind didn’t work the same way as it once did. Nakata then started shooting at the farmer, a few shots at first, then upon remembering whether the voice that he had heard in his dream was saying the truth or otherwise, he continued shooting at the farmer who was already dead by now and his body was practically filled with bullet holes. Nakata was surprised, but didn’t stop shooting; he resumed shooting until his fingers hurt from pulling the trigger. He was now convinced that the voice that he had heard was telling the truth and the fact that he was unlucky and disastrous, he ignored.
Nakata made his way to his aunt’s house as soon as he was finished with the farmer, considering his faith, the poor farmer now. He was at the entrance of his aunt’s house. The door was open and he first saw his uncle holding a newspaper in his hands. Nakata ignored him. His uncle however didn’t and shockingly said, ‘Nakata?’ Nakata nodded in respect and went into the kitchen, found his aunt and he seemed to hesitate at first, after all she once took care and sheltered them. He ignored the thought and showing mercy, just shot her once in the head and left the house ignoring his uncle once again. His uncle, when woke up from his shocked state, came running out with a machine gun in his hands and started firing at Nakata. Nakata like an expert just shot once at his uncle and the old man was hit in his hand. After that, seeing his uncle was defeated, Nakata once again bowed in respect and left. He looked rather cool in an odd fashion with his loose clothing, walking so calmly after what he had done.
Once he reached to his self proclaimed home, he felt slightly guilty but the guiltiness was instantly replaced by a feeling of superiority, he was more powerful and was able to do things that others couldn’t, he was gifted. Nakata was cursed though, the gun never left his right hand, and it wouldn’t come off. It was stuck with him forever. He didn’t mind that at the moment, he knew that he had power. He sat at his sister’s grave thinking about the event that took place. There was now something really bothering him, the thought when his uncle called out his name. He hated his name; he didn’t want to be the same person that no one respected before. Nakata made his mind up that he no longer would be called Nakata and was now thinking about changing his name. Not that he knew anyone who would call him by his current name, but it was one of those things that one do to themselves to forget their past and move on.
Nakata for now, suddenly felt weary, it could be because of the shootings he thought to himself. He then brought him self to the old abandoned rail tracks which was now older and looked drenched and even more dreadful. He brought himself to the old, damp thin mattress that he once used it with his sister; he had to pass through the mosquito net that now looked like pieces of dental floss tied together. Once he got in it, he laid his back on the mattress. He was staring at the dirty ceiling, he wanted to think, he felt so alone, he liked it, he didn’t want to care about anyone, he didn’t want anything to do with anybody and just after that, before he even started thinking further, he was already asleep. He was deep in his sleep, but at the same time he was awake in his sleep. It sounds weird, but that was how he felt. Awake in the dark, a pitch black universe. It was entirely wrapped by darkness, he could only see himself, and he was glowing at least that’s how he felt like.
He knew what was coming next and as he expected he heard a voice far away, saying, ‘hello, it’s me again.’ The voice was nearing and he could here the voice of the person clearer. A man like image was now visible and just like him, the mysterious guy too was glowing and he could clearly see him. He looked like a teenager, he was not tall, and part of his face was covered by a cap he had on. He had a dark complexion, and his face was shallow and dark. But not as dark as his eyes, the ring circles beneath his eyes were so dark, Nakata assumed that he colored it black. ‘So, you don’t like your name eh, I don’t like it too, your name is now Katana and erm, yea, any questions’? Asked, the stranger in a friendly tone, he was smiling amusingly, as if he knew how Nakata now Katana felt and when Nakata now Katana was about to come out of his shocked, irritated state the stranger spoke again, ‘I was thinking of Shiina Ringo at first, but it was actually a woman’s name belonged to a woman. Katana would do fine, right?’ ‘Ha ha’, he laughed softly.
‘What the fuck are you?’ asked Nakata now Katana in an angry/scared tone. He was scared and trying his best not to believe what was happening. He was aware of the fact that he was sleeping and yet in his sleep, he wasn’t sleeping! And to top it off was confronted by a weird / kind of a lunatic of a person. The stranger answered, ‘What the hell is going on?’, ‘I am a friend, yea, and we can be friends, why not. Let me see, first of all, you shouldn’t use swear words. Its ok for me to use it, but you shouldn’t and I have no reasons to give you a reason to ask me why’. Nakata aka Katana now looked more irritated, but to his own surprise, just kept his mouth shut. There was something about the stranger that made him feel meek towards. ‘Good’, he continued, ‘now, ill answer your questions. Just like you I have myself obtained some powers which are quite unexplainable, but to us, we deserve it and we seem to love it. To us it only seems fair for obtaining such powers, because of the unfortunate events we had to go through, of course we deserve it,’ he said loudly. Katana now began to like his new name and was interested in hearing more. He kept shut. The stranger resumed his speech, ‘I am somewhat embarrassed to say this, but I am also one of you.’ He paused. ‘An unlucky, disastrous person,’ He said in a softer tone than before, as if he was ashamed being one of them. ‘It’s one of the many miracles of this despicable world.’ explained the stranger to Katana. Now, a complete change of judgment, he felt comfortable with the stranger in front of him and saw the stranger from what he was able to see was floating in the darkness, just like himself. A feeling of understanding and similarity has come upon Katana towards the stranger. He wasn’t that agitated anymore, but part of him was still. Yet, he knew he had to respect the cap wearing figure, which he didn’t like.
The stranger resumed talking in the darkness, listened by Katana who was looking at him as he was the only visible thing he was able to see in the sheer darkness. ‘What shall you call me then, “master?” that would be too prominent, wait, Katana did as he was told and waited, he looked at the stranger. He was actually deep in thought in telling Katana what to call him. ‘Yes, you call me Mark. It reminds me of some one I know.’ ‘By the way do you like your name now?’ asked Mark. Katana said, ‘Not really but its better than Nakata, you can call me by that name. And I understand that you have powers and all that, but what exactly are your intentions?’ asked Katana. ‘My intentions are to guide you and help you through this journey, in hope that you will no longer be unhappy,’ said Mark. ‘that’s crap, how could someone claiming to be having the same unlucky fate that I did, help me out and get me straighten? Said Katana in disbelief, Mark replied, ‘now, you’ve got a point there, I must say. But you see, I have already done, accomplished what I intended to. This is my way of repaying my gift that was given to me. Now enough of the explanation let me enlighten you with some of my own unfortunate life stories, events and others too, we could compare whose fate were more unlucky and even cry about it, if you want to that is’ said Mark. ‘ oh, and another thing, don’t try to act smart and act as if you have any other options, don’t ask stupid questions, just bear with, after all you’re unlucky and disastrous, aren’t you? Get used to it.’ He added in a warning tone.
They were now sitting in the dark space with only each others glowing figure to look at. Mark began his supposedly enlightening speech. Katana listened and every now and then questioned Mark about his remarks. Mark would most of the times ignore or when he chose to answer to Katana questions, he answered in an irritated angry voice. They were times that they’d cry and snuggle each other. Sad, unlucky stories were told to make Katana feel better of him self. They’d often compare other stories with their own to establish whose story was more pathetic. The stories resumed for a long time, stories after stories were told, most of them really sad, pathetic ones. Katana now, after giving some thought about what he was about to ask and said to Mark that he was now not the most unlucky person, but was evidently one of them, in the most ‘matter of fact’ tone and expression. Mark looked at him and gave a funny stare. He then said, ‘I guess you’re right, if that’s what you think. Now let me tell you some other tales too, perhaps this one would be more sad and eventually make you realize something, this time less questions,’ he pointed a finger at him as if he was giving out an order. Katana nodded, as if he understood.
Mark resumed his petty, pathetic tales, but nothing he told would stop Katana from questioning or bringing up facts of his life to compare them with. Mark was getting annoyed with his new friend’s shallowness. He then said, ‘so, Katana are you saying that I am a lucky person compared to you, after listening to all the tales that I told you, you still think that you’re a more unlucky person?’ his face was now filled with anger as he spoke in a louder tone. Katana then said in reply, ‘well, yea in a way, yes.’ At this moment, the debate of who among them being more unlucky went on for a while now. Then finally Mark said, ‘I think that I’ve come to a conclusion now that I realized it.’ ‘Realized what? Asked Katana in curiosity,’ Mark replied, ‘I’ve just realized that some people or most people think of themselves better or worst off than others in order to continue feeling better of themselves. It gives them purpose. ‘What? What are you trying to say?’ in a confused and once again irritated tone. Mark was about to reply, just then, out of the blue, Katana heard a voice through the darkness they were silhouetted in, ‘hey boy, boy?’ it wasn’t Mark’s voice, he was hearing. The voice became more clear and apparent and vivid too, why not. Mark too heard the voice and said hurriedly as if he didn’t have any time left, ‘I think its time for you to wake up,’ in a tone that didn’t show any sign of emotions.
‘Wake up boy,’ he heard and he could feel someone’s hands on his body shaking him up. He struggled to open his eye lids, it seemed really heavy. He realized that he was awake now and saw a blurry face looking at him. It was a face of a middle aged woman. Her appearance to him was most recognizable and warm. He shook his head and wiped his eyes with his fingers. The blurry figure became apparent and he heard her say to him, ‘are you alright?’ In a worried tone, ‘I heard you talking to yourself.’ her voice was warm and gentle. Nakata said in reply, ‘yeah, I think so, I had a bad dream.’ ‘That’s what, happens when you sleep during the Maghrib period, now go wash up, pray and get ready for dinner.’ She said. ‘Ok, mom,’ the boy answered, and made his way to the washroom.
There he was, still sitting by his sister’s grave. The sun shone and the stars sparkled, the days went pass by, the weather changed, the war continued and ended when it finally decided to end. Nakata grieved still, he was still sitting at the same spot, but occasionally turning and changing spots when his body ached at some spots or when he was bored of the view fro where he sat. He was there with the gun that he looted in his grasp. For now it was his most cherished treasure and it gave him strength, remarkable strength that strengthened and empowered his mind and confidence, he believed so. He wanted to end it all; he hated his life, even his name and the things that surrounded him. He was failed and without doubt made him a terrible failure (to himself).
Yet, suicide wasn’t an option, he didn’t believe in suicide, it was a despicable thing to do; he remembered his mum saying that when she was alive, he remembered her saying, ‘suicide is for people who has no balls and for people who has not the capability to think forward and enduring things ’. He didn’t agree to it now, but he wanted to believe, comply with, in what she said and as usual be of the same mind as she was. He was sensible enough to not attempt anything stupid. Nakata however was a little curious of the power he had gained. He was curious of what he was able to do with the power in his hand. He wanted to try it out, a boiling rage of anger and curiosity enveloped him. He wanted to avenge the people who once treated them with contempt and wasn’t particularly nice to them, or rather bluntly worded, he wanted to kill the people that treated them like shit. He didn’t really blame them for their doings because it was hard times and everyone had to look upon themselves instead of caring for others. Yet, he still wanted to avenge them. He had to, for the gun that has never left his hand would be of no use. Nakata stood up, staring at the place around him which now has changed and wasn’t the same as it was during their times together. He went into the dark tunnel and for the first time in a long time, tried to sleep in a more comfortable manner, yet it was uncomfortable since his bones were not used to it, since he had been in a sitting position for a long time. He slept while it was dark with no trace of emotions on his face; it was just blanked out without any.
The next morning, he woke up, from a weird dream and he regretted sleeping the night. The dream was too surreal and mind bugging. In his dream there was someone talking to him about his past, presence and his future. The person even advised him not to shoot the people he intended to. He mentioned that it was true, what he felt, he really did have obtained remarkable powers. He also mentioned that the gun didn’t need any ammunition as it was believed to have some sort of magic. This part was mainly bothering his mind when he woke up as he felt that he finally had justice in achieving some sort of power and at the same time was uneasy when the voice said, ‘ you have been given this power particularly for being unlucky and disastrous’. He could go on using the gun over and over again without having to reload said the mysterious person in his dream. Finally he advised Nakata on how one shouldn’t take another’s life and was lecturing him on how not to misuse his powers. Just before he woke up from his dream, the guy in his dreams said that, ‘but if you have to kill them all, you might want to torture them first before killing them, if you’re really angry that is, it would mean much more and more satisfying definitely’, with a grin spreading on his face, as if he was satisfied with what he said, he imagined.
The next morning he was already on his way to try out his new powers and to avenge himself. The land has changed a bit but he still remembered the route to the places he wanted to go, but before he went. He stopped by a nearby house which from outside looked grand and rich. He knocked the door and when it opened, he pointed the gun to the person and said, ‘this’ll only be for a moment’. He didn’t have to say more, the look in his eye was sharp enough to convince the man that he didn’t mind killing. The man looked as expected shocked and fear was obvious from his expression, the man just stood where he was without moving even slightly, he was stiff as a statue. Nakata went up, making the home seemingly his undressed and went to the bathroom and showered. It has been a long while since he last washed up and here he was pampering himself. He filled the tub with water till it was full and just soaked in it for a while, enjoying the warm water around him, running through his body. He came out looking refreshed though his face and expressions were as dark as ever. He went to the cupboard and found clothes that were all too big for him, He now wore a T-shirt, a jacket and a jeans, all of it that didn’t fit him since there wasn’t any that seemed to fitted his size, he didn’t mind though, he was sick of his old rotten clothes that were engraved with bad memories and wearing new, fresh clothes were already good enough compared to the old ones. He folded the jeans up till it looked ok on him. He went down, thanked the man and walked out. The man was still in shock, but didn’t say anything.
He was on his way to the farming place where he used to steal vegetables and fruits. The farmer was farming at the moment and upon realizing that someone was approaching his way, he gave a look of recognition in his face when he saw the person who was emerging towards, and his face shrunken and fear struck, as he waited for Nakata to approach towards him. Once he got closer, Nakata didn’t bother to say anything, his objective was clear it wasn’t even because of vengeance; it was just that he thought he had a reason to do so. Nakata pointed the gun directly at the farmers face, the farmer was trembling from fear, and clearly he had remembered who the boy was, now pointing a gun at him. He tried pleading but, Nakata didn’t hear him, he wasn’t the boy he used to be, his mind didn’t work the same way as it once did. Nakata then started shooting at the farmer, a few shots at first, then upon remembering whether the voice that he had heard in his dream was saying the truth or otherwise, he continued shooting at the farmer who was already dead by now and his body was practically filled with bullet holes. Nakata was surprised, but didn’t stop shooting; he resumed shooting until his fingers hurt from pulling the trigger. He was now convinced that the voice that he had heard was telling the truth and the fact that he was unlucky and disastrous, he ignored.
Nakata made his way to his aunt’s house as soon as he was finished with the farmer, considering his faith, the poor farmer now. He was at the entrance of his aunt’s house. The door was open and he first saw his uncle holding a newspaper in his hands. Nakata ignored him. His uncle however didn’t and shockingly said, ‘Nakata?’ Nakata nodded in respect and went into the kitchen, found his aunt and he seemed to hesitate at first, after all she once took care and sheltered them. He ignored the thought and showing mercy, just shot her once in the head and left the house ignoring his uncle once again. His uncle, when woke up from his shocked state, came running out with a machine gun in his hands and started firing at Nakata. Nakata like an expert just shot once at his uncle and the old man was hit in his hand. After that, seeing his uncle was defeated, Nakata once again bowed in respect and left. He looked rather cool in an odd fashion with his loose clothing, walking so calmly after what he had done.
Once he reached to his self proclaimed home, he felt slightly guilty but the guiltiness was instantly replaced by a feeling of superiority, he was more powerful and was able to do things that others couldn’t, he was gifted. Nakata was cursed though, the gun never left his right hand, and it wouldn’t come off. It was stuck with him forever. He didn’t mind that at the moment, he knew that he had power. He sat at his sister’s grave thinking about the event that took place. There was now something really bothering him, the thought when his uncle called out his name. He hated his name; he didn’t want to be the same person that no one respected before. Nakata made his mind up that he no longer would be called Nakata and was now thinking about changing his name. Not that he knew anyone who would call him by his current name, but it was one of those things that one do to themselves to forget their past and move on.
Nakata for now, suddenly felt weary, it could be because of the shootings he thought to himself. He then brought him self to the old abandoned rail tracks which was now older and looked drenched and even more dreadful. He brought himself to the old, damp thin mattress that he once used it with his sister; he had to pass through the mosquito net that now looked like pieces of dental floss tied together. Once he got in it, he laid his back on the mattress. He was staring at the dirty ceiling, he wanted to think, he felt so alone, he liked it, he didn’t want to care about anyone, he didn’t want anything to do with anybody and just after that, before he even started thinking further, he was already asleep. He was deep in his sleep, but at the same time he was awake in his sleep. It sounds weird, but that was how he felt. Awake in the dark, a pitch black universe. It was entirely wrapped by darkness, he could only see himself, and he was glowing at least that’s how he felt like.
He knew what was coming next and as he expected he heard a voice far away, saying, ‘hello, it’s me again.’ The voice was nearing and he could here the voice of the person clearer. A man like image was now visible and just like him, the mysterious guy too was glowing and he could clearly see him. He looked like a teenager, he was not tall, and part of his face was covered by a cap he had on. He had a dark complexion, and his face was shallow and dark. But not as dark as his eyes, the ring circles beneath his eyes were so dark, Nakata assumed that he colored it black. ‘So, you don’t like your name eh, I don’t like it too, your name is now Katana and erm, yea, any questions’? Asked, the stranger in a friendly tone, he was smiling amusingly, as if he knew how Nakata now Katana felt and when Nakata now Katana was about to come out of his shocked, irritated state the stranger spoke again, ‘I was thinking of Shiina Ringo at first, but it was actually a woman’s name belonged to a woman. Katana would do fine, right?’ ‘Ha ha’, he laughed softly.
‘What the fuck are you?’ asked Nakata now Katana in an angry/scared tone. He was scared and trying his best not to believe what was happening. He was aware of the fact that he was sleeping and yet in his sleep, he wasn’t sleeping! And to top it off was confronted by a weird / kind of a lunatic of a person. The stranger answered, ‘What the hell is going on?’, ‘I am a friend, yea, and we can be friends, why not. Let me see, first of all, you shouldn’t use swear words. Its ok for me to use it, but you shouldn’t and I have no reasons to give you a reason to ask me why’. Nakata aka Katana now looked more irritated, but to his own surprise, just kept his mouth shut. There was something about the stranger that made him feel meek towards. ‘Good’, he continued, ‘now, ill answer your questions. Just like you I have myself obtained some powers which are quite unexplainable, but to us, we deserve it and we seem to love it. To us it only seems fair for obtaining such powers, because of the unfortunate events we had to go through, of course we deserve it,’ he said loudly. Katana now began to like his new name and was interested in hearing more. He kept shut. The stranger resumed his speech, ‘I am somewhat embarrassed to say this, but I am also one of you.’ He paused. ‘An unlucky, disastrous person,’ He said in a softer tone than before, as if he was ashamed being one of them. ‘It’s one of the many miracles of this despicable world.’ explained the stranger to Katana. Now, a complete change of judgment, he felt comfortable with the stranger in front of him and saw the stranger from what he was able to see was floating in the darkness, just like himself. A feeling of understanding and similarity has come upon Katana towards the stranger. He wasn’t that agitated anymore, but part of him was still. Yet, he knew he had to respect the cap wearing figure, which he didn’t like.
The stranger resumed talking in the darkness, listened by Katana who was looking at him as he was the only visible thing he was able to see in the sheer darkness. ‘What shall you call me then, “master?” that would be too prominent, wait, Katana did as he was told and waited, he looked at the stranger. He was actually deep in thought in telling Katana what to call him. ‘Yes, you call me Mark. It reminds me of some one I know.’ ‘By the way do you like your name now?’ asked Mark. Katana said, ‘Not really but its better than Nakata, you can call me by that name. And I understand that you have powers and all that, but what exactly are your intentions?’ asked Katana. ‘My intentions are to guide you and help you through this journey, in hope that you will no longer be unhappy,’ said Mark. ‘that’s crap, how could someone claiming to be having the same unlucky fate that I did, help me out and get me straighten? Said Katana in disbelief, Mark replied, ‘now, you’ve got a point there, I must say. But you see, I have already done, accomplished what I intended to. This is my way of repaying my gift that was given to me. Now enough of the explanation let me enlighten you with some of my own unfortunate life stories, events and others too, we could compare whose fate were more unlucky and even cry about it, if you want to that is’ said Mark. ‘ oh, and another thing, don’t try to act smart and act as if you have any other options, don’t ask stupid questions, just bear with, after all you’re unlucky and disastrous, aren’t you? Get used to it.’ He added in a warning tone.
They were now sitting in the dark space with only each others glowing figure to look at. Mark began his supposedly enlightening speech. Katana listened and every now and then questioned Mark about his remarks. Mark would most of the times ignore or when he chose to answer to Katana questions, he answered in an irritated angry voice. They were times that they’d cry and snuggle each other. Sad, unlucky stories were told to make Katana feel better of him self. They’d often compare other stories with their own to establish whose story was more pathetic. The stories resumed for a long time, stories after stories were told, most of them really sad, pathetic ones. Katana now, after giving some thought about what he was about to ask and said to Mark that he was now not the most unlucky person, but was evidently one of them, in the most ‘matter of fact’ tone and expression. Mark looked at him and gave a funny stare. He then said, ‘I guess you’re right, if that’s what you think. Now let me tell you some other tales too, perhaps this one would be more sad and eventually make you realize something, this time less questions,’ he pointed a finger at him as if he was giving out an order. Katana nodded, as if he understood.
Mark resumed his petty, pathetic tales, but nothing he told would stop Katana from questioning or bringing up facts of his life to compare them with. Mark was getting annoyed with his new friend’s shallowness. He then said, ‘so, Katana are you saying that I am a lucky person compared to you, after listening to all the tales that I told you, you still think that you’re a more unlucky person?’ his face was now filled with anger as he spoke in a louder tone. Katana then said in reply, ‘well, yea in a way, yes.’ At this moment, the debate of who among them being more unlucky went on for a while now. Then finally Mark said, ‘I think that I’ve come to a conclusion now that I realized it.’ ‘Realized what? Asked Katana in curiosity,’ Mark replied, ‘I’ve just realized that some people or most people think of themselves better or worst off than others in order to continue feeling better of themselves. It gives them purpose. ‘What? What are you trying to say?’ in a confused and once again irritated tone. Mark was about to reply, just then, out of the blue, Katana heard a voice through the darkness they were silhouetted in, ‘hey boy, boy?’ it wasn’t Mark’s voice, he was hearing. The voice became more clear and apparent and vivid too, why not. Mark too heard the voice and said hurriedly as if he didn’t have any time left, ‘I think its time for you to wake up,’ in a tone that didn’t show any sign of emotions.
‘Wake up boy,’ he heard and he could feel someone’s hands on his body shaking him up. He struggled to open his eye lids, it seemed really heavy. He realized that he was awake now and saw a blurry face looking at him. It was a face of a middle aged woman. Her appearance to him was most recognizable and warm. He shook his head and wiped his eyes with his fingers. The blurry figure became apparent and he heard her say to him, ‘are you alright?’ In a worried tone, ‘I heard you talking to yourself.’ her voice was warm and gentle. Nakata said in reply, ‘yeah, I think so, I had a bad dream.’ ‘That’s what, happens when you sleep during the Maghrib period, now go wash up, pray and get ready for dinner.’ She said. ‘Ok, mom,’ the boy answered, and made his way to the washroom.
A once upon a time, tale
This is a tale which took place during the Japanese warfare against the U.S as presumed. It was dangerous times to live in. Alarms were constantly heard most of the time. Ordering people to take cover and find a safe place to be at or in. Air attacks was one of the main form of attacks used by the enemy and was evidently proven to be the main cause of deaths and injuries. Many lost their home and were suffering due to the effects of war. It took place when the world was not as modern as it is today. These were times where people were just introduced to technology.
It was a small village. Estimation of the whole lot living there would be almost over five hundred. The people in the village mainly depended and lived on agricultural, as their main occupations were as farmers. It was once green, peaceful and the air was filled with greenery and freshness of the soil. It was all different now, the village was no longer peaceful and it didn’t only smell of greeneries or the soil. In the small village lived a small family which consists of a husband and wife and their two children, a young boy and a much younger girl. They lived peacefully and they loved each other dearly, that was before the war.
The men as usual during wars went to fight for their country and had to leave their family behind. It was their obligation as men. However the family even without their father seemed to be doing just fine and were trying to live as normal as they could, during these hard, worrying times. The children seemed to understand the absence of their father in their life and were quite comfortable in the hands of their mother. So far the war hasn’t affected their home and their neighbors and theirs. Despite the fact that had to occasionally from time to time evacuate to the nearest shelter for protection from the bombings. It had somehow become a routine, since the war was declared and since it happened to happen quite frequently that the siblings by now were used to all the running and the chaos.
Usually Nakata (who dreams to become a well known soccer player when he grows up) who is the elder brother, who also just turned 15, will carry his sister on his back tied steadily with a piece of material which once used to be worn by his mom, upon his body. Chi the younger sister just aged 5 was bright, cute and adorable because of her charms and playfulness. Chi would cling to her brothers while he rushes to get them into safety with their mother running by their side. This has been going on for weeks already and the much smaller family now is trying their best to survive in the worsening state of the war. Recently the alarm goes off at least twice a day and on some days, it was so bad that they had to stay in the shelter home for the whole day.
On normal days, the days were spent doing house chores by the mother assist by Nakata with her chores while chi playfully just looks upon or when she gets bored of not getting any attention, runs outside chasing the insects/butterflies. Apart from that they would try to get food from what they’ve manage to grow in their compound and somehow all seem to be good even in the condition they were living in. Their neighbors were almost all gone either found a better place to live in or are living with their relatives some where safer till the place was considered safe again.
Little the siblings knew that things were about to become worse and they weren’t ready for what was about to happen. It was a normal sunny morning, the alarm sounded and they were to rush to the nearest shelter which took Nakata about 10 minutes to reach from his house. His mother, on that day was about to meet a friend for reasons unknown to the kids, said that she’ll meet them at the shelter. Once they get there. Nakata carried his sister Chi as usual and tied her with the same material carefully and rather expertly behind his back and started running. It all seemed different today he could hear more warplanes than usual heading past them. Nakata sped up and tried to avoid the roads. He could see people wounded and some were hurt real badly. All lying on the ground gasping and shouting in agony, He tried his best so that he would be able to block Chi from what he was envisioning. Bombs were exploding everywhere and Nakata could see buildings been blown up and for a moment there he just stood there in shock. The voice of Chi shouting and crying at the back of his ears woke him up from the shock and he resumed running. They made thru the shelter without any major injury, but with minor scratches.
Once they were there a neighboring aunty (a friend of their mother) came to their aid and mended their wounds and fed them with what they could offer. After relaxing a bit the aunty gave them some food, and pulled Nakata and said something to him. Upon hearing what the aunty said, Nakata turned pale and he began to sweat heavily. His mother, she didn’t make it to the shelter. She was hit by a bomb although not really hit by it but she was close enough to suffer the effects of it, and was currently treated in a nearby school which is the current hospital now. Nakata left Chi behind with the aunty that helped them before and ran to the school as fast as he could. Once he was there he tried to relax himself from the panting and once quite relaxed, went into the school and asked for his mom. After a few minutes of finding he finally was shown to his mom from the help of a doctor. She looked like a “mummy”; her whole body was enveloped with bandages. Her whole body was burned badly. She weren’t able to talk and Nakata was pained looking at his mother’s condition. He however dearly hoped that she would be treated and would be with them after her treatment. After his long visit Nakata then returned to his sister and went back to their house only to find out that it too was blown up. They couldn’t possibly live there. He made a decision. He decided to go to an aunt’s house for help. She was as far as he could picture quite pleasant, learnt from his occasional visits to her place.
Back then he couldn’t think of any other options. His decision to go to his aunts seems the best. Their aunt welcomed them with open arms. The days were not as comfortable as they used to be. Yet, they were in a much safer place, and it troubled Nakata that now they didn’t have their mum with them anymore. The day after he was told about his mom’s condition on his second visit made him devastated. There was nothing much to say about his mother’s condition, to begin with. By the time he got there, his mother’s whole body was already covered by maggots and other insects. He could see those filthy things crawling in and out of his mother’s corpse between the bandages that were used to cover her. She was already gone. After the burial, he returned home to his sister but didn’t mutter a word to his sister regarding the death of their mother. He always said to his sister when asked; “mother is sick and we can’ visit her yet, just wait for a while, until she gets better” and hoping that Chi would eventually forget about her mom.
Life in their aunt’s was nice at first; they were fed appropriately and enjoyed the same meal as everyone else. Aunt has a grown daughter and a husband who was a soldier of war, as expected. They didn’t seem to mind the presence of the siblings. On the other hand, after a while of what seemed to their as a permanent stay, their aunt has begun to show signs of dislike towards the siblings. She often said to Nakata, “You have already become an adult and should be doing something useful instead of taking things for granted and playing with Chi all the time”. Nakata has been getting a lot of complains and nagging from his aunt lately. His aunt now serves them with different servings when the have their meals (together). They don’t get to eat rice anymore like the rest of the family. The complaining and constant whining had made the children despise their aunt; the kids being kids were really sensitive to all the criticism and tell off. To make matters worse, Chi knew about the death of her mother as she was told by her aunt. Chi started having nightmares and would wake everyone up in the middle of the night including the already angry aunt. Nakata took the scolding and had to calm his sister down, by carrying her outside, so that it would make the house less noisy. The days passed by uncomfortably both for the siblings and the aunt. They no longer had anything they liked about each other.
The children now spent most of their free times outside the house. Nakata would take Chi to the beach, quite often. They enjoy their times on the beach and Chi loved the beach. He even taught Chi how to swim. They were having fun together and it seemed like at that moment they forgot about their losses and their distressing experiences. Chi was laughing joyfully with her brother enjoying the gentle waves of the sea. Nakata felt happy watching his sister having fun. He felt a sudden feel of satisfaction, watching his sister face gleaming cheerfully and giggling under the sunlight. On other days when they didn’t go to the beach, the siblings routinely went for walks discovering new areas they’ve never been to and places where they could sit comfortably and play.
On days where Nakata would leave Chi at his aunts and go walking just like every other days, only his walks alone were intended for him to find things that were valuable and useable. His most favorite spots were in ruined buildings that were bombed and deserted. Most of the time he couldn’t find many valuable or even useable, functional things there as they were already stolen by others and what normally left were junks that were evidently useless. Other alternative that he has was intruding into peoples houses while they were at the shelter during the air attacks, which is clearly dangerous, risky and which puts him in a very vulnerable position. More often than not he’d be able to sell or exchange them with items that were mostly edible and at that time that was what he preferred. On the other hand, Nakata always brought back the belongings that he found back just for the sake of appreciation towards things in general.
Lately at his aunt’s home, things in general were getting worse and considering the state of their current relationship and the growing hatred and anger from both sides made them even more irritable and sensitive. Chi wasn’t fed well, she was becoming thinner and it was clearly visible that she was lacking nutrients. On an unfortunate day because of some petty occurrence that was not even worth mentioning, Aunt threatened to kick them out of the house. On that night, Nakata remembered finding an abandoned tunnel which, once seemed to be used as a railway track. It didn’t matter then to him, he was too caught up with his own feelings. He spontaneously came to a sudden decision to get out from the house. He didn’t like the way his aunt treated Chi. He turned to Chi who was lying beside him and said, ‘Let’s go somewhere else, we don’t have to stay here’. Chi readily agreed by nodding her head. ‘We can go to the tunnel that I took you the other day, we can play all day long and ill cook for you’. Chi smiled back weakly and said, ‘Ok’.
The very next morning the children started packing all their belongings and were almost done with it. Aunt was eyeing them curiously and said to herself, ‘let them do whatever they want to do, they are not my concern, I did what I was suppose to’. She said. The place wasn’t very far away. ‘We’ve got almost everything that we needed, there won’t be a problem. Ill be searching for some other stuff that we need.’ Nakata said to his sister. Chi as usual nodded in approval and said, ‘Ok’. ‘I am hungry, I want to eat rice’. Said Chi. ‘just wait till we get there and ill cook for you.’ said Nakata in reply. He was pushing an old cart that he found laying in someone’s house, the other day.
Almost after half an hour, they reached their destination. It wasn’t really that bad, the place was secluded and its surroundings were covered by tall trees, the sound of birds twittering above them, it was peaceful despite the fact they were in the midst of war. They were all by themselves and they liked it that way. Nakata cooked the rice and the vegetables that he brought with him. They didn’t have much of them but, at the moment the siblings enjoyed their meal and Chi looked happy, eating the humble lunch prepared by Nakata. After their lunch the siblings started on making their bed in the tunnel and arranging things they brought with them, on which they decided on where the right places to place their belongings. Nakata managed to bring along most of the basic necessities and even brought a mosquito net along. They fixed it up in the tunnel using some ropes, it didn’t look remarkable but it was none the less impressive to the children. The rest of the day was spent placing, arranging and even mending things. And when Chi was having her nap Nakata went to search for more stuff that might come handy in places nearby.
The first few days were a blast but, Chi’s condition was just the same in spite of her more cheerful self. Nakata had to go out more in search for food and had to leave Chi all alone in the tunnel. Nevertheless, he always managed to bring himself back before it was dark. His search for food and valuables were no longer productive and he hardly brought stuff back home. In harder times, when Nakata failed to bring food back, he would trap/ catch small creatures such as frogs or rats and cook them for food. They were so hungry that they didn’t mind eating the not so grand cuisine. It got dark early and the nights were cold and chilly. Chi got used to the nights and she wasn’t as scared as she was in the earlier days of their stay in the tunnel. Plus she had her brother besides her. She’d talked to her brother about how spent her days alone and quite surprisingly her free times were spend catching insects and small creatures which she would place in a trap that Nakata built. Chi now, quite often, when her brother returns to the secluded place they lived in shouted happily, ‘I caught a frog today.’ As if she knew that the news would please her brother.
On a lucky day, thought Nakata when he managed to loot some vegetables in a farm that he newly found. He thought to himself that today he could cook something decent for Chi. On the way, the alarm ringed and everyone ran out of their houses leaving it open and unguarded upon seeing this Nakata got excited and thought that he might find something. The attack started and Nakata was so far lucky from the attacks. He went into the house and began ransacking the house; he took his own time knowing that usually the occupants would only be back after a few hours. Suddenly he remembered back when he was caught stealing fruits in a shop, the owner who caught him didn’t show any mercy and beat him so bad that the left side of face swelled so much that he was unable to open his eye because of the pain. The shop owner then send him to the nearest police station, the police were shocked looking at the state Nakata was, that out of sympathy they let him of the hook with a warning. He now started to hurry and look for something he could take back for Chi. He dropped the bag of vegetables he was holding and ran upstairs into the bedroom.
He then despite of the bombings and the noises coming from the warplanes outside and above him and could hear screaming and some of the neighboring houses getting hit by the bombs dropped, ignored that and continued scavenging for anything with value. He opened the drawers lifted the mattress on the bed and even looked under the bed. He then came upon a cupboard and to his wonder found some expensive materials that looked really expensive. His face made a broad smile and he hurriedly took the materials and threw them out of the cupboard. He then opened the drawer and found a few gold colored chains. He knew for fact that, that was going to be expensive. He also found a gun in the drawer. He took it too. He managed to find a bag and put it in it and ran from the house leaving the vegetables that he had previously took without permission.
He was running with a wide smile on his face, holding a bag carefully within his grabs. He then went to the town which was not attacked and people were seemingly seemed to go on with their daily routines. Nakata went to almost all the food stall and traded them with the material he found. The materials were now someone else’s. Nakata didn’t seem to mind about the expensive materials readily accepted by the shop owners. He had the gold chains still with him and he bought food that Chi loved, toys, candies, a couple of clothes and some medication believed to be for fever for Chi. Nakata felt better with himself knowing that in the near future they’d be well fed and he could buy things that would spoil them. He was on top of the world. He could see how Chi would love to see him this time jumping with joy and they could be happy and cheerful together.
Once he arrived at their place, Nakata called out, ‘Chi- Chi’ several times. There was no answer. He thought she must’ve gone wandering somewhere, nearby he hoped. He placed all of the goods in the tunnel and went looking for his beloved sister. After a few minutes of looking without any results or signs, Nakata got worried and a look of panic came upon his face. He was sweating and panting trying desperately to look for his sister. Then after looking for her almost everywhere within eyesight, he collapsed on the ground, looking wearily tired and disappointed. His eyes still looking for any sign for his sister, he got up knowing that Chi never wanders of far away- suddenly, to his surprise he saw a small figure lying on the grounds surrounded by tall grasses and trees. Without doubt it was her thought Nakata. There she was lying right under a tree, Nakata ran towards her with a shimmer of hope. Nakata kneeled beside her, she wasn’t moving and her face looked pale. She was holding something unmoving in one of her hands. It was long and dark. Nakata looked for a better view and lifted Chi’s hand to get a better view of the things that was in her grasp. To his agony, it was a snake appeared to be dead. Several bite marks were visible on Chi’s arm. Both of them didn’t move. Nakata tried waking her up she just didn’t show any sign of movement and her body felt cold. Nakata’s heart sank and tears were rolling down his face. He just stared at his sister in regret saying repeatedly, ‘I am sorry.’ He didn’t know how to react. He felt failed and remorse. ‘If only I came back earlier this wouldn’t have happened’. He shouted. His emotions were all jumbled up and the only reason for him to live and to strive ahead was now dead. Worst of all, he was all alone in the world. He didn’t have anyone else. And the thought of that itself scattered him with sorrow-ness.
It took him some time to come back to his senses. He was carrying chi in his arms. He knew that it was already too late. He couldn’t do anything to safe her and her body would rot if he didn’t do anything, plus the place was getting darker. He picked himself up to cleanse her with water and dressed her with the new clothes that he took from the tunnel. He then dug a hole to bury his sister. The memories of doing so brought him back when his mum was buried in the school come hospital ground. It was painful. This was much worse. After burying his sister, he sat beside her the whole night fearing that she might be afraid of the dark. The next morning he wandered pointlessly and the decided to go in the tunnel and took a look at the goods that he managed to bring back the day before. He found the items and food that he brought back, the jewels were still there and so was the gun. For a moment there he was gazing from the jewels and the gun as if he was trying to make a decision. He chose the gun and took it out and went outside. He now sat down beside his sister’s grave looking blanked and still shocked with what had happened. He just laid there beside his sister with the gun in his hand.
It was a small village. Estimation of the whole lot living there would be almost over five hundred. The people in the village mainly depended and lived on agricultural, as their main occupations were as farmers. It was once green, peaceful and the air was filled with greenery and freshness of the soil. It was all different now, the village was no longer peaceful and it didn’t only smell of greeneries or the soil. In the small village lived a small family which consists of a husband and wife and their two children, a young boy and a much younger girl. They lived peacefully and they loved each other dearly, that was before the war.
The men as usual during wars went to fight for their country and had to leave their family behind. It was their obligation as men. However the family even without their father seemed to be doing just fine and were trying to live as normal as they could, during these hard, worrying times. The children seemed to understand the absence of their father in their life and were quite comfortable in the hands of their mother. So far the war hasn’t affected their home and their neighbors and theirs. Despite the fact that had to occasionally from time to time evacuate to the nearest shelter for protection from the bombings. It had somehow become a routine, since the war was declared and since it happened to happen quite frequently that the siblings by now were used to all the running and the chaos.
Usually Nakata (who dreams to become a well known soccer player when he grows up) who is the elder brother, who also just turned 15, will carry his sister on his back tied steadily with a piece of material which once used to be worn by his mom, upon his body. Chi the younger sister just aged 5 was bright, cute and adorable because of her charms and playfulness. Chi would cling to her brothers while he rushes to get them into safety with their mother running by their side. This has been going on for weeks already and the much smaller family now is trying their best to survive in the worsening state of the war. Recently the alarm goes off at least twice a day and on some days, it was so bad that they had to stay in the shelter home for the whole day.
On normal days, the days were spent doing house chores by the mother assist by Nakata with her chores while chi playfully just looks upon or when she gets bored of not getting any attention, runs outside chasing the insects/butterflies. Apart from that they would try to get food from what they’ve manage to grow in their compound and somehow all seem to be good even in the condition they were living in. Their neighbors were almost all gone either found a better place to live in or are living with their relatives some where safer till the place was considered safe again.
Little the siblings knew that things were about to become worse and they weren’t ready for what was about to happen. It was a normal sunny morning, the alarm sounded and they were to rush to the nearest shelter which took Nakata about 10 minutes to reach from his house. His mother, on that day was about to meet a friend for reasons unknown to the kids, said that she’ll meet them at the shelter. Once they get there. Nakata carried his sister Chi as usual and tied her with the same material carefully and rather expertly behind his back and started running. It all seemed different today he could hear more warplanes than usual heading past them. Nakata sped up and tried to avoid the roads. He could see people wounded and some were hurt real badly. All lying on the ground gasping and shouting in agony, He tried his best so that he would be able to block Chi from what he was envisioning. Bombs were exploding everywhere and Nakata could see buildings been blown up and for a moment there he just stood there in shock. The voice of Chi shouting and crying at the back of his ears woke him up from the shock and he resumed running. They made thru the shelter without any major injury, but with minor scratches.
Once they were there a neighboring aunty (a friend of their mother) came to their aid and mended their wounds and fed them with what they could offer. After relaxing a bit the aunty gave them some food, and pulled Nakata and said something to him. Upon hearing what the aunty said, Nakata turned pale and he began to sweat heavily. His mother, she didn’t make it to the shelter. She was hit by a bomb although not really hit by it but she was close enough to suffer the effects of it, and was currently treated in a nearby school which is the current hospital now. Nakata left Chi behind with the aunty that helped them before and ran to the school as fast as he could. Once he was there he tried to relax himself from the panting and once quite relaxed, went into the school and asked for his mom. After a few minutes of finding he finally was shown to his mom from the help of a doctor. She looked like a “mummy”; her whole body was enveloped with bandages. Her whole body was burned badly. She weren’t able to talk and Nakata was pained looking at his mother’s condition. He however dearly hoped that she would be treated and would be with them after her treatment. After his long visit Nakata then returned to his sister and went back to their house only to find out that it too was blown up. They couldn’t possibly live there. He made a decision. He decided to go to an aunt’s house for help. She was as far as he could picture quite pleasant, learnt from his occasional visits to her place.
Back then he couldn’t think of any other options. His decision to go to his aunts seems the best. Their aunt welcomed them with open arms. The days were not as comfortable as they used to be. Yet, they were in a much safer place, and it troubled Nakata that now they didn’t have their mum with them anymore. The day after he was told about his mom’s condition on his second visit made him devastated. There was nothing much to say about his mother’s condition, to begin with. By the time he got there, his mother’s whole body was already covered by maggots and other insects. He could see those filthy things crawling in and out of his mother’s corpse between the bandages that were used to cover her. She was already gone. After the burial, he returned home to his sister but didn’t mutter a word to his sister regarding the death of their mother. He always said to his sister when asked; “mother is sick and we can’ visit her yet, just wait for a while, until she gets better” and hoping that Chi would eventually forget about her mom.
Life in their aunt’s was nice at first; they were fed appropriately and enjoyed the same meal as everyone else. Aunt has a grown daughter and a husband who was a soldier of war, as expected. They didn’t seem to mind the presence of the siblings. On the other hand, after a while of what seemed to their as a permanent stay, their aunt has begun to show signs of dislike towards the siblings. She often said to Nakata, “You have already become an adult and should be doing something useful instead of taking things for granted and playing with Chi all the time”. Nakata has been getting a lot of complains and nagging from his aunt lately. His aunt now serves them with different servings when the have their meals (together). They don’t get to eat rice anymore like the rest of the family. The complaining and constant whining had made the children despise their aunt; the kids being kids were really sensitive to all the criticism and tell off. To make matters worse, Chi knew about the death of her mother as she was told by her aunt. Chi started having nightmares and would wake everyone up in the middle of the night including the already angry aunt. Nakata took the scolding and had to calm his sister down, by carrying her outside, so that it would make the house less noisy. The days passed by uncomfortably both for the siblings and the aunt. They no longer had anything they liked about each other.
The children now spent most of their free times outside the house. Nakata would take Chi to the beach, quite often. They enjoy their times on the beach and Chi loved the beach. He even taught Chi how to swim. They were having fun together and it seemed like at that moment they forgot about their losses and their distressing experiences. Chi was laughing joyfully with her brother enjoying the gentle waves of the sea. Nakata felt happy watching his sister having fun. He felt a sudden feel of satisfaction, watching his sister face gleaming cheerfully and giggling under the sunlight. On other days when they didn’t go to the beach, the siblings routinely went for walks discovering new areas they’ve never been to and places where they could sit comfortably and play.
On days where Nakata would leave Chi at his aunts and go walking just like every other days, only his walks alone were intended for him to find things that were valuable and useable. His most favorite spots were in ruined buildings that were bombed and deserted. Most of the time he couldn’t find many valuable or even useable, functional things there as they were already stolen by others and what normally left were junks that were evidently useless. Other alternative that he has was intruding into peoples houses while they were at the shelter during the air attacks, which is clearly dangerous, risky and which puts him in a very vulnerable position. More often than not he’d be able to sell or exchange them with items that were mostly edible and at that time that was what he preferred. On the other hand, Nakata always brought back the belongings that he found back just for the sake of appreciation towards things in general.
Lately at his aunt’s home, things in general were getting worse and considering the state of their current relationship and the growing hatred and anger from both sides made them even more irritable and sensitive. Chi wasn’t fed well, she was becoming thinner and it was clearly visible that she was lacking nutrients. On an unfortunate day because of some petty occurrence that was not even worth mentioning, Aunt threatened to kick them out of the house. On that night, Nakata remembered finding an abandoned tunnel which, once seemed to be used as a railway track. It didn’t matter then to him, he was too caught up with his own feelings. He spontaneously came to a sudden decision to get out from the house. He didn’t like the way his aunt treated Chi. He turned to Chi who was lying beside him and said, ‘Let’s go somewhere else, we don’t have to stay here’. Chi readily agreed by nodding her head. ‘We can go to the tunnel that I took you the other day, we can play all day long and ill cook for you’. Chi smiled back weakly and said, ‘Ok’.
The very next morning the children started packing all their belongings and were almost done with it. Aunt was eyeing them curiously and said to herself, ‘let them do whatever they want to do, they are not my concern, I did what I was suppose to’. She said. The place wasn’t very far away. ‘We’ve got almost everything that we needed, there won’t be a problem. Ill be searching for some other stuff that we need.’ Nakata said to his sister. Chi as usual nodded in approval and said, ‘Ok’. ‘I am hungry, I want to eat rice’. Said Chi. ‘just wait till we get there and ill cook for you.’ said Nakata in reply. He was pushing an old cart that he found laying in someone’s house, the other day.
Almost after half an hour, they reached their destination. It wasn’t really that bad, the place was secluded and its surroundings were covered by tall trees, the sound of birds twittering above them, it was peaceful despite the fact they were in the midst of war. They were all by themselves and they liked it that way. Nakata cooked the rice and the vegetables that he brought with him. They didn’t have much of them but, at the moment the siblings enjoyed their meal and Chi looked happy, eating the humble lunch prepared by Nakata. After their lunch the siblings started on making their bed in the tunnel and arranging things they brought with them, on which they decided on where the right places to place their belongings. Nakata managed to bring along most of the basic necessities and even brought a mosquito net along. They fixed it up in the tunnel using some ropes, it didn’t look remarkable but it was none the less impressive to the children. The rest of the day was spent placing, arranging and even mending things. And when Chi was having her nap Nakata went to search for more stuff that might come handy in places nearby.
The first few days were a blast but, Chi’s condition was just the same in spite of her more cheerful self. Nakata had to go out more in search for food and had to leave Chi all alone in the tunnel. Nevertheless, he always managed to bring himself back before it was dark. His search for food and valuables were no longer productive and he hardly brought stuff back home. In harder times, when Nakata failed to bring food back, he would trap/ catch small creatures such as frogs or rats and cook them for food. They were so hungry that they didn’t mind eating the not so grand cuisine. It got dark early and the nights were cold and chilly. Chi got used to the nights and she wasn’t as scared as she was in the earlier days of their stay in the tunnel. Plus she had her brother besides her. She’d talked to her brother about how spent her days alone and quite surprisingly her free times were spend catching insects and small creatures which she would place in a trap that Nakata built. Chi now, quite often, when her brother returns to the secluded place they lived in shouted happily, ‘I caught a frog today.’ As if she knew that the news would please her brother.
On a lucky day, thought Nakata when he managed to loot some vegetables in a farm that he newly found. He thought to himself that today he could cook something decent for Chi. On the way, the alarm ringed and everyone ran out of their houses leaving it open and unguarded upon seeing this Nakata got excited and thought that he might find something. The attack started and Nakata was so far lucky from the attacks. He went into the house and began ransacking the house; he took his own time knowing that usually the occupants would only be back after a few hours. Suddenly he remembered back when he was caught stealing fruits in a shop, the owner who caught him didn’t show any mercy and beat him so bad that the left side of face swelled so much that he was unable to open his eye because of the pain. The shop owner then send him to the nearest police station, the police were shocked looking at the state Nakata was, that out of sympathy they let him of the hook with a warning. He now started to hurry and look for something he could take back for Chi. He dropped the bag of vegetables he was holding and ran upstairs into the bedroom.
He then despite of the bombings and the noises coming from the warplanes outside and above him and could hear screaming and some of the neighboring houses getting hit by the bombs dropped, ignored that and continued scavenging for anything with value. He opened the drawers lifted the mattress on the bed and even looked under the bed. He then came upon a cupboard and to his wonder found some expensive materials that looked really expensive. His face made a broad smile and he hurriedly took the materials and threw them out of the cupboard. He then opened the drawer and found a few gold colored chains. He knew for fact that, that was going to be expensive. He also found a gun in the drawer. He took it too. He managed to find a bag and put it in it and ran from the house leaving the vegetables that he had previously took without permission.
He was running with a wide smile on his face, holding a bag carefully within his grabs. He then went to the town which was not attacked and people were seemingly seemed to go on with their daily routines. Nakata went to almost all the food stall and traded them with the material he found. The materials were now someone else’s. Nakata didn’t seem to mind about the expensive materials readily accepted by the shop owners. He had the gold chains still with him and he bought food that Chi loved, toys, candies, a couple of clothes and some medication believed to be for fever for Chi. Nakata felt better with himself knowing that in the near future they’d be well fed and he could buy things that would spoil them. He was on top of the world. He could see how Chi would love to see him this time jumping with joy and they could be happy and cheerful together.
Once he arrived at their place, Nakata called out, ‘Chi- Chi’ several times. There was no answer. He thought she must’ve gone wandering somewhere, nearby he hoped. He placed all of the goods in the tunnel and went looking for his beloved sister. After a few minutes of looking without any results or signs, Nakata got worried and a look of panic came upon his face. He was sweating and panting trying desperately to look for his sister. Then after looking for her almost everywhere within eyesight, he collapsed on the ground, looking wearily tired and disappointed. His eyes still looking for any sign for his sister, he got up knowing that Chi never wanders of far away- suddenly, to his surprise he saw a small figure lying on the grounds surrounded by tall grasses and trees. Without doubt it was her thought Nakata. There she was lying right under a tree, Nakata ran towards her with a shimmer of hope. Nakata kneeled beside her, she wasn’t moving and her face looked pale. She was holding something unmoving in one of her hands. It was long and dark. Nakata looked for a better view and lifted Chi’s hand to get a better view of the things that was in her grasp. To his agony, it was a snake appeared to be dead. Several bite marks were visible on Chi’s arm. Both of them didn’t move. Nakata tried waking her up she just didn’t show any sign of movement and her body felt cold. Nakata’s heart sank and tears were rolling down his face. He just stared at his sister in regret saying repeatedly, ‘I am sorry.’ He didn’t know how to react. He felt failed and remorse. ‘If only I came back earlier this wouldn’t have happened’. He shouted. His emotions were all jumbled up and the only reason for him to live and to strive ahead was now dead. Worst of all, he was all alone in the world. He didn’t have anyone else. And the thought of that itself scattered him with sorrow-ness.
It took him some time to come back to his senses. He was carrying chi in his arms. He knew that it was already too late. He couldn’t do anything to safe her and her body would rot if he didn’t do anything, plus the place was getting darker. He picked himself up to cleanse her with water and dressed her with the new clothes that he took from the tunnel. He then dug a hole to bury his sister. The memories of doing so brought him back when his mum was buried in the school come hospital ground. It was painful. This was much worse. After burying his sister, he sat beside her the whole night fearing that she might be afraid of the dark. The next morning he wandered pointlessly and the decided to go in the tunnel and took a look at the goods that he managed to bring back the day before. He found the items and food that he brought back, the jewels were still there and so was the gun. For a moment there he was gazing from the jewels and the gun as if he was trying to make a decision. He chose the gun and took it out and went outside. He now sat down beside his sister’s grave looking blanked and still shocked with what had happened. He just laid there beside his sister with the gun in his hand.
A time consuming one
It was a good idea. Something different, I decided to write about it. Now that I am about to write I regret for coming up with such an issue to write about. First of all it’s a difficult issue to write about, secondly I am not wise/ experienced enough to write about something like this and lastly I don’t think ill be able to express my views clearly and send out the message intended. However, I am still going to write about it. It’s some what like an obligation for coming up with such an idea. Although it might not make sense I don’t think I should care about it. After all I write mainly for myself and for some close friends who might find this amusing.
It started when a friend wrote an entry regarding how extremist and their likes think of themselves better than the rest and how the rest of man kind should follow their exemplary. I honesty don’t have any problem with that, with what my friend wrote about, that is, neither I am trying to compete or correct anyone for that matter. These are some of my twisted views. Extremist believes in what they do, what they do is right in their eyes and it has to be the environment they live in and of course their upbringing plays a big part in their lives. They are just doing in what they believe in. When a human beliefs and believes is strong enough, he could do anything he feel like. Whether if it’s the right or the wrong thing. Just thought I write this for my own safety. I don’t prefer them or neither attempting to defend them. These are my views on a whole.
It’s assumed that a human’s future is determined mainly by the environment he lives in. The place one lives in determines the people who live in it too plays a crucial part. Which I am trying to say it’s just a matter of luck. It is said that if you live in a bad neighborhood you are bound to become someone less successful in life or rather bluntly one is bound to not succeed at all. Should they be blamed for not succeeding in life or for not being someone better? It is said that the world is a cruel place to live in a man’s fate is decided at the moment he was born. This clearly indicates that even if all humans are exactly the same in the inside they are many certain things that separates them and divides them, leading separate lives that is completely disparate from one another.
Everyone craves to be better than the other. Every nation wants to become better than their competitors. Which is a good thing, because it leads to healthy competitions which results to modernizations, new inventions, a better way of living, a more productive nation, a more educated / civilized country and people which is the way it is today. However being more educated and knowing things in detailed and having the ability to create new inventions, having incredible power and being better than others. Humans are getting more ignorant and arrogant which is considered normal. A person with power and high stature will definitely have the feeling of superiority towards the weaker ones.
Ill cut to the chase, instead of rambling more. These are my points; people will always be divided either by religion, culture, tradition, status, personal beliefs, or many other reasons that I missed to mention. There will always be discrimination between the powerful and the weak. There will always be wars in order to regain, expand or to prevail peace some would believe. People say why not give peace a chance? Personally I think that there will never be peace on earth especially in the world we live in today. I might sound bitter but this is my opinion. It is known that by giving peace a chance, directly means to make one less powerful and less in power. It is also known that people in power would like to stay in power, expand their power and maintain their good fortune. Who is there to blame? No one I’d say this is just one of the most typical human behaviors. Whereas if a person believes in something whole heartedly, therefore will certainly not be willing to lose whatever it is they believe in no matter what the circumstances are/ is. These are normal human behaviors. I guess this could be considered as the amazing power of mind.
However the ones that face’s the dreadful consequences are often the people. I couldn’t bring myself to say it’s no ones fault now. Who is there to blame? The way things are nowadays where the dominant power controls almost everything such as the economy, media, press and even peace. They show/air and print things that they want the people to believe. It is known that some people in order to achieve or gain something’s would care less; more precisely would not care about others as long as their ambitions come true. Humans are selfish after all and they only care about themselves.
I am going to quit writing now, most of my opinions are baseless not exactly précised nor detailed enough. I’d like to ramble more but I don’t see any point in it. I am not able to come up with a conclusion. The more I write the more confused and more I realize how little knowledge and how little I understand about the subject. But before that since I wasn’t able to come up with a proper ending I would like to end this entry by writing down some words of wisdom more like opinions regarding life from someone believed to be wise.
“There is neither hope nor peace in life. Prepare yourselves for the worst and hope that your beliefs would save you from whatever it is your about to face”
“To me life is a nightmare and in it I continue striving and try to adapt, in hope that in the end I would finally wake up from it”
I hope it was a good read at least
Assalamualaikum
It started when a friend wrote an entry regarding how extremist and their likes think of themselves better than the rest and how the rest of man kind should follow their exemplary. I honesty don’t have any problem with that, with what my friend wrote about, that is, neither I am trying to compete or correct anyone for that matter. These are some of my twisted views. Extremist believes in what they do, what they do is right in their eyes and it has to be the environment they live in and of course their upbringing plays a big part in their lives. They are just doing in what they believe in. When a human beliefs and believes is strong enough, he could do anything he feel like. Whether if it’s the right or the wrong thing. Just thought I write this for my own safety. I don’t prefer them or neither attempting to defend them. These are my views on a whole.
It’s assumed that a human’s future is determined mainly by the environment he lives in. The place one lives in determines the people who live in it too plays a crucial part. Which I am trying to say it’s just a matter of luck. It is said that if you live in a bad neighborhood you are bound to become someone less successful in life or rather bluntly one is bound to not succeed at all. Should they be blamed for not succeeding in life or for not being someone better? It is said that the world is a cruel place to live in a man’s fate is decided at the moment he was born. This clearly indicates that even if all humans are exactly the same in the inside they are many certain things that separates them and divides them, leading separate lives that is completely disparate from one another.
Everyone craves to be better than the other. Every nation wants to become better than their competitors. Which is a good thing, because it leads to healthy competitions which results to modernizations, new inventions, a better way of living, a more productive nation, a more educated / civilized country and people which is the way it is today. However being more educated and knowing things in detailed and having the ability to create new inventions, having incredible power and being better than others. Humans are getting more ignorant and arrogant which is considered normal. A person with power and high stature will definitely have the feeling of superiority towards the weaker ones.
Ill cut to the chase, instead of rambling more. These are my points; people will always be divided either by religion, culture, tradition, status, personal beliefs, or many other reasons that I missed to mention. There will always be discrimination between the powerful and the weak. There will always be wars in order to regain, expand or to prevail peace some would believe. People say why not give peace a chance? Personally I think that there will never be peace on earth especially in the world we live in today. I might sound bitter but this is my opinion. It is known that by giving peace a chance, directly means to make one less powerful and less in power. It is also known that people in power would like to stay in power, expand their power and maintain their good fortune. Who is there to blame? No one I’d say this is just one of the most typical human behaviors. Whereas if a person believes in something whole heartedly, therefore will certainly not be willing to lose whatever it is they believe in no matter what the circumstances are/ is. These are normal human behaviors. I guess this could be considered as the amazing power of mind.
However the ones that face’s the dreadful consequences are often the people. I couldn’t bring myself to say it’s no ones fault now. Who is there to blame? The way things are nowadays where the dominant power controls almost everything such as the economy, media, press and even peace. They show/air and print things that they want the people to believe. It is known that some people in order to achieve or gain something’s would care less; more precisely would not care about others as long as their ambitions come true. Humans are selfish after all and they only care about themselves.
I am going to quit writing now, most of my opinions are baseless not exactly précised nor detailed enough. I’d like to ramble more but I don’t see any point in it. I am not able to come up with a conclusion. The more I write the more confused and more I realize how little knowledge and how little I understand about the subject. But before that since I wasn’t able to come up with a proper ending I would like to end this entry by writing down some words of wisdom more like opinions regarding life from someone believed to be wise.
“There is neither hope nor peace in life. Prepare yourselves for the worst and hope that your beliefs would save you from whatever it is your about to face”
“To me life is a nightmare and in it I continue striving and try to adapt, in hope that in the end I would finally wake up from it”
I hope it was a good read at least
Assalamualaikum
About Mark & a Night to remember
About Mark / A Night to Remember
The story is about Mark and a slightly peculiar night in Mark’s life. Mark a young man in his early twenties, whose wisdom tooth was only now starting to appear. Mark is about as normal as guys in his age would be. However, the main attributes in Marks characters are he has mood swings, hasty and impatient. Mark occasionally does Yoga and try’s to go out as often as he can, as he believes that boredom is the cause of mood swings and of that sorts. Mark like most troubled guys in his age prefers to be alone at home and doesn’t mix around much whilst at home. He has not been to any family gatherings/meetings for years and the family members according to him adapts to changes quite well. Mark was the only one in the family who was not in the family photo; he doesn’t blame the family for that. He was too busy hanging out with his friends at that time.
Recently among the many aunt of mark’s had a miscarriage. Mark didn’t favor the aunt but, being a human with emotions; he couldn’t help but feel sorry, even though he didn’t mention it. Mark, felt a little bothered he was practically the last person in the family who knew about it and if his brother Bark didn’t tell him about it. He’d never know, not that it makes any difference, thought Mark. When Bark told him about it, Marks response was “seriously? Ohh ok” that was Mark’s typical way of responding/reaction when told news like that. It was the exact way he reacted when his Mom told him about his aunt who lived far away was suffering from depression due to work stress. According to Mark, if u aren’t gonna do anything about an occurrence or unable to anything, there’s no need to do anything about it. It was when he was in his teens Mark decided that showing emotions was a sign of weakness and disappointment/ asking for sympathy. Over the years, watching too many ‘yakuza’ movies and sticking to his twisted belief, it became a habit. Mark however did show emotion or express his thoughts, when he was mad and it felt good for a while.
Mark when he was younger he used to think that friends are more important and reliable compared to his own family. Now that he has grown up and matured a bit, as he likes to think, thinks that friends are still important too but the only person one can rely on is their own self. There’s a saying about that, “the older you get, the colder you become” (don’t know whether it’s true or not, it depends on the individual, usually). Mark always wanted to be stronger and more independent so that he wouldn’t have to rely on others. Relying on others too much isn’t a good thing and not relying on anyone at all is just inhuman or more precisely, ignorant. Mark thinks that as a normal human, no matter how troubled or worst off others are a human will still think of themselves and concern over their lack of luck first. It’s all part of being human and being normal. Imagine a world where everyone cares about each other more than they care for their own well being. Mark shook his head as he was not able to imagine a world like that and was thinking to himself that he might get severe headaches if he continues to think about stuffs like that. Mark realizes that the world he lives in today has lost its tranquility, the simple essence of being kind. He hasn’t seen a simple, pure smile which thru it enables one to know that the person is truly calm,
Happy and satisfied. Mark like almost everyone like the idea of being different than others. Mark’s definition of being different, a person who does what they love and their main importance was not money. A person that works his butt of but not mainly for money, he didn’t like the idea of being filthy rich as he knows being rich only meant more problems, more insincere people and more people wanting to rob him of his money. Mark somehow feels really awkward when saying his definition of being different to his friends as they’ll often think that Marks just plain weird. All in all Mark believes that money shouldn’t be top priority even when life revolves around it and that calmness and feeling secure is crucial to him (did I mention that Mark doesn’t have a girlfriend?).
As much as he prefers to be alone, he was used to be alone from others too at times as he doesn’t really trust anyone, except for one person, who would think about mark first rather than her own self. He was her priority except when it comes to T.V sitcoms. She just freezes as if she was in a trance staring at the idiot box. She used to talk a lot and share things with Mark, but all in all she wasn’t really talkative which made Mark adore her more. Mark always wondered why women talk endlessly. He learned that once they stop talking, it’s worst off. Nowadays she just changes the curtain and Mark’s pillow covers and if she talks, she complains about how smelly the room is and that she can’t stand it. She had her birthday recently and Mark being Mark instead of greeting her said “sudah tua arr”. (Yes, Mark lives in Malaysia and his Malay is just fine) However, Mark knew she understands him, and he meant good at least that’s what he thought. He gave her, her present two days after that day, he felt obliged.
A Night to remember
It was a typical Sunday morning for Mark. It was hot, even when Mark just sat down doing nothing. The heat gets into him and by afternoon Mark already felt tired and weak. Later that evening, on Sunday nights Mark plays football with his close friends. It was a routine that they had. During the game Mark was dribbling the ball and was trying to get pass two players in front of him. While he was attempting to do that, he sped up his space and flicked the ball upwards so that he could completely get pass his opponents. Everything seemed going Mark’s way, when he was just about to go through them a friend from the opponent team tried to stop Mark from moving forward hence tried to block Mark from advancing. He somehow while trying to get the ball away from Mark hit Marks leg with his knee and Mark dived forward trying to minimize the injury. It was too late Mark got hit just above his right knee he was relieved that it didn’t get his knees. It would have been dangerous if it did. The impact was quite strong; the bruised part almost in an instant changed color and didn’t take long for it to swell up. It looked like Mark had a long knee. Quite to his surprise the pain didn’t really disabled him from continuing the game. After attracting all the attentions and receiving apologies. He continued playing, knowing that he wont be able to play for a while after this.
Mark came back after having their also routine “drink session” at a place called ‘Simple’. He showered despite knowing that it wasn’t healthy to shower at night, but it seemed like he didn’t have any choice. He switched on his pc and watched the latest episode of anime that was given to him by a friend earlier that night. He also turned on the T.V and watched the F1 race while waiting for the football match on a different channel. It was strange as only six cars took part in the race whilst the other teams were not taking part. It had something to do with the race track and the tire that was believed not suitable for the particular track. Mark had already changed the channel and was now watching the Brazil- Mexico game. He was distracted by the sound coming from the Pc; it was “Ave Maria” Mark liked the song. It sounded like the lady singing was telling a tale more than singing, it sounded sappy and even when he didn’t understand what the lady was singing he was quite sure she was singing about love. Mark, watching the T.V, listening to the commentator and listening to the song at switched of the “winamp window” and resumed watching the game till it reached half time.
During that time, Mark who was in his room decided to leave the room to get some fresh air. He went out, looked at his brother Bark who sat on the couch watching the same thing he did while he was in the room. He heard something in the back of his head said “we are wasting electricity”. He went back to his room and resumed watching the commercials while waiting for the game to start back. As seconds past by, Mark heard a knock on his door, his brother Bark rather excitingly shouted “dog fight!” pointing outside. Both of the brothers like to watch fights. It’s extra entertainment according to them. The termed used was “free show”. Mark and Bark stood between the upstairs hall and the balcony as it was divided by a metal railing. Mark heard dog barks and he saw a few of them. He climbed on the barrier to get a better view. Bark stood back and tried to see pass Mark. Both Mark and Bark then heard a faint sound of cat voice, the one usually heard on cat fights. Mark then said to Bark, “That’s not a dog fight!” and ran down the stairs in the dark without looking at it. Bark followed close behind. As they were looking for the keys to the front door in the dark, Mark heard his neighbor ‘Dark’ getting out of his house too. “He must’ve heard the commotions too”, thought mark. Dark got out sooner than the brothers did. They could see the dogs; one of the dogs had a cat in its mouth and was shaking it furiously from left to right. Dark was already running towards the dogs. The dog’s scattered and one was trying to take the cat with it. Luckily enough Dark’s perseverance paid off and the dog had no choice but to leave the cat and run for its own safety. Mark and Bark just then came to Dark’s aid (just like the police after a crime scene). Mark was scanning the outside of his home looking for a weapon, he found one and thought to himself, if anything happens he could use it to defend himself later. They all looked awed.
Dark had long dreads, is an atheist and a vegan and is believed to be in an underground band. The brothers thought that Dark was just a poser seeking for attention, at first that is. Now they just think that Dark’s just a little twisted, but Dark generally speaking is a good friend and a good neighbor to have. Being a vegan, Dark obviously love animals and was obviously fond with animals. The poor animal lying on the tar consumed street was in a very bad state. It was not a good sight. Mark and Bark stood back because of their inexperience with animals. They were looking at the cat breathing heavily; it looked like it had trouble breathing. Mark thought that was probably because of the exhaustion. Dark was now patting and stroking the animal. Furs were seen on the street. The cat had long Fur and was white and grey, it looked grayish then. Dark was looking for injuries sustained and was slowly examining the cat’s body. They found out that it had a deep wound at the back of its back near the skull, believed to be caused by the dogs that bit it. The tail seemed to be missing. The cat looked dreadful, but they didn’t know what to do.
The streets were lighted by a street light and from a few houses for security reasons. The cat’s panting didn’t seem to decrease. It was still breathing heavily, it was peculiar thought Mark. The cat tried to stand and when it was almost up. The cat’s head was tangling down. It was then they realized that its neck was broken. Dark was still mending the cat while the brothers looking upon helplessly. Dark then brought something to wrap the cat with and brought it in the porch where the light was much better and it was much safer there. Dark then took a damp cloth and cleaned the cat. It was noble of him. Mark, they all knew that the cat wouldn’t last long. He wanted to suggest putting the cat out of its misery, but didn’t do so as it would be insensitive. He kept his mouth shut and walked outside to look around and take a breather. Bark and Dark was discussing something.
Mark was slowly walking back and forth. He looked up towards the sky they weren’t too many stars that night. Remembering the cat panting, struggling to breathe reminded him of the day he saw someone murdered. He still get shivers when he thinks about it, he thought no matter how brave one think he is, after witnessing a brutal murder no one would be the same. He saw in front of his eyes a man beaten by a rather big metal device to his head several times followed by several more times of stabbing. He could hear the sound of metal hitting someone’s head. He could still remember the killers face looking at him. The quiet dark street that night still lingers in his mind till to day. It was then Mark decided that he didn’t want to end up that way and avoided living a dangerous life. He never told anyone but some of his friends about it. Some were terrified and didn’t want to listen till the end. Some just said “don’t interfere”.
Back to the cat, knowing that all they could do was to wait for the cat to pass away. Mark then said that he will be returning to the game. The game had already started. It didn’t appeal that much at that time. Brazil lost to Mexico. When he woke up in the afternoon the other day, he went looking for the cat and didn’t find it lying on the neighbor’s porch. He knew that the cat had died. When Bark woke up, Bark told Mark that the cat died at dawn and the owner was a young lady who lived a few houses away down the street, who looked quite cute, but that’s a different story.
Mark returned to his room, turned on the pc but was planning to read a book. Mark had weirder nights than the one he had last night, but this one will always be on his mind, as it was the night he got injured and as the night that disabled him from playing football for a while. It also did remind him of death and how vulnerable animals/humans (living things) are, but being typical and forgetful, it all seemed far-far away. Mark was once again bored.
The story is about Mark and a slightly peculiar night in Mark’s life. Mark a young man in his early twenties, whose wisdom tooth was only now starting to appear. Mark is about as normal as guys in his age would be. However, the main attributes in Marks characters are he has mood swings, hasty and impatient. Mark occasionally does Yoga and try’s to go out as often as he can, as he believes that boredom is the cause of mood swings and of that sorts. Mark like most troubled guys in his age prefers to be alone at home and doesn’t mix around much whilst at home. He has not been to any family gatherings/meetings for years and the family members according to him adapts to changes quite well. Mark was the only one in the family who was not in the family photo; he doesn’t blame the family for that. He was too busy hanging out with his friends at that time.
Recently among the many aunt of mark’s had a miscarriage. Mark didn’t favor the aunt but, being a human with emotions; he couldn’t help but feel sorry, even though he didn’t mention it. Mark, felt a little bothered he was practically the last person in the family who knew about it and if his brother Bark didn’t tell him about it. He’d never know, not that it makes any difference, thought Mark. When Bark told him about it, Marks response was “seriously? Ohh ok” that was Mark’s typical way of responding/reaction when told news like that. It was the exact way he reacted when his Mom told him about his aunt who lived far away was suffering from depression due to work stress. According to Mark, if u aren’t gonna do anything about an occurrence or unable to anything, there’s no need to do anything about it. It was when he was in his teens Mark decided that showing emotions was a sign of weakness and disappointment/ asking for sympathy. Over the years, watching too many ‘yakuza’ movies and sticking to his twisted belief, it became a habit. Mark however did show emotion or express his thoughts, when he was mad and it felt good for a while.
Mark when he was younger he used to think that friends are more important and reliable compared to his own family. Now that he has grown up and matured a bit, as he likes to think, thinks that friends are still important too but the only person one can rely on is their own self. There’s a saying about that, “the older you get, the colder you become” (don’t know whether it’s true or not, it depends on the individual, usually). Mark always wanted to be stronger and more independent so that he wouldn’t have to rely on others. Relying on others too much isn’t a good thing and not relying on anyone at all is just inhuman or more precisely, ignorant. Mark thinks that as a normal human, no matter how troubled or worst off others are a human will still think of themselves and concern over their lack of luck first. It’s all part of being human and being normal. Imagine a world where everyone cares about each other more than they care for their own well being. Mark shook his head as he was not able to imagine a world like that and was thinking to himself that he might get severe headaches if he continues to think about stuffs like that. Mark realizes that the world he lives in today has lost its tranquility, the simple essence of being kind. He hasn’t seen a simple, pure smile which thru it enables one to know that the person is truly calm,
Happy and satisfied. Mark like almost everyone like the idea of being different than others. Mark’s definition of being different, a person who does what they love and their main importance was not money. A person that works his butt of but not mainly for money, he didn’t like the idea of being filthy rich as he knows being rich only meant more problems, more insincere people and more people wanting to rob him of his money. Mark somehow feels really awkward when saying his definition of being different to his friends as they’ll often think that Marks just plain weird. All in all Mark believes that money shouldn’t be top priority even when life revolves around it and that calmness and feeling secure is crucial to him (did I mention that Mark doesn’t have a girlfriend?).
As much as he prefers to be alone, he was used to be alone from others too at times as he doesn’t really trust anyone, except for one person, who would think about mark first rather than her own self. He was her priority except when it comes to T.V sitcoms. She just freezes as if she was in a trance staring at the idiot box. She used to talk a lot and share things with Mark, but all in all she wasn’t really talkative which made Mark adore her more. Mark always wondered why women talk endlessly. He learned that once they stop talking, it’s worst off. Nowadays she just changes the curtain and Mark’s pillow covers and if she talks, she complains about how smelly the room is and that she can’t stand it. She had her birthday recently and Mark being Mark instead of greeting her said “sudah tua arr”. (Yes, Mark lives in Malaysia and his Malay is just fine) However, Mark knew she understands him, and he meant good at least that’s what he thought. He gave her, her present two days after that day, he felt obliged.
A Night to remember
It was a typical Sunday morning for Mark. It was hot, even when Mark just sat down doing nothing. The heat gets into him and by afternoon Mark already felt tired and weak. Later that evening, on Sunday nights Mark plays football with his close friends. It was a routine that they had. During the game Mark was dribbling the ball and was trying to get pass two players in front of him. While he was attempting to do that, he sped up his space and flicked the ball upwards so that he could completely get pass his opponents. Everything seemed going Mark’s way, when he was just about to go through them a friend from the opponent team tried to stop Mark from moving forward hence tried to block Mark from advancing. He somehow while trying to get the ball away from Mark hit Marks leg with his knee and Mark dived forward trying to minimize the injury. It was too late Mark got hit just above his right knee he was relieved that it didn’t get his knees. It would have been dangerous if it did. The impact was quite strong; the bruised part almost in an instant changed color and didn’t take long for it to swell up. It looked like Mark had a long knee. Quite to his surprise the pain didn’t really disabled him from continuing the game. After attracting all the attentions and receiving apologies. He continued playing, knowing that he wont be able to play for a while after this.
Mark came back after having their also routine “drink session” at a place called ‘Simple’. He showered despite knowing that it wasn’t healthy to shower at night, but it seemed like he didn’t have any choice. He switched on his pc and watched the latest episode of anime that was given to him by a friend earlier that night. He also turned on the T.V and watched the F1 race while waiting for the football match on a different channel. It was strange as only six cars took part in the race whilst the other teams were not taking part. It had something to do with the race track and the tire that was believed not suitable for the particular track. Mark had already changed the channel and was now watching the Brazil- Mexico game. He was distracted by the sound coming from the Pc; it was “Ave Maria” Mark liked the song. It sounded like the lady singing was telling a tale more than singing, it sounded sappy and even when he didn’t understand what the lady was singing he was quite sure she was singing about love. Mark, watching the T.V, listening to the commentator and listening to the song at switched of the “winamp window” and resumed watching the game till it reached half time.
During that time, Mark who was in his room decided to leave the room to get some fresh air. He went out, looked at his brother Bark who sat on the couch watching the same thing he did while he was in the room. He heard something in the back of his head said “we are wasting electricity”. He went back to his room and resumed watching the commercials while waiting for the game to start back. As seconds past by, Mark heard a knock on his door, his brother Bark rather excitingly shouted “dog fight!” pointing outside. Both of the brothers like to watch fights. It’s extra entertainment according to them. The termed used was “free show”. Mark and Bark stood between the upstairs hall and the balcony as it was divided by a metal railing. Mark heard dog barks and he saw a few of them. He climbed on the barrier to get a better view. Bark stood back and tried to see pass Mark. Both Mark and Bark then heard a faint sound of cat voice, the one usually heard on cat fights. Mark then said to Bark, “That’s not a dog fight!” and ran down the stairs in the dark without looking at it. Bark followed close behind. As they were looking for the keys to the front door in the dark, Mark heard his neighbor ‘Dark’ getting out of his house too. “He must’ve heard the commotions too”, thought mark. Dark got out sooner than the brothers did. They could see the dogs; one of the dogs had a cat in its mouth and was shaking it furiously from left to right. Dark was already running towards the dogs. The dog’s scattered and one was trying to take the cat with it. Luckily enough Dark’s perseverance paid off and the dog had no choice but to leave the cat and run for its own safety. Mark and Bark just then came to Dark’s aid (just like the police after a crime scene). Mark was scanning the outside of his home looking for a weapon, he found one and thought to himself, if anything happens he could use it to defend himself later. They all looked awed.
Dark had long dreads, is an atheist and a vegan and is believed to be in an underground band. The brothers thought that Dark was just a poser seeking for attention, at first that is. Now they just think that Dark’s just a little twisted, but Dark generally speaking is a good friend and a good neighbor to have. Being a vegan, Dark obviously love animals and was obviously fond with animals. The poor animal lying on the tar consumed street was in a very bad state. It was not a good sight. Mark and Bark stood back because of their inexperience with animals. They were looking at the cat breathing heavily; it looked like it had trouble breathing. Mark thought that was probably because of the exhaustion. Dark was now patting and stroking the animal. Furs were seen on the street. The cat had long Fur and was white and grey, it looked grayish then. Dark was looking for injuries sustained and was slowly examining the cat’s body. They found out that it had a deep wound at the back of its back near the skull, believed to be caused by the dogs that bit it. The tail seemed to be missing. The cat looked dreadful, but they didn’t know what to do.
The streets were lighted by a street light and from a few houses for security reasons. The cat’s panting didn’t seem to decrease. It was still breathing heavily, it was peculiar thought Mark. The cat tried to stand and when it was almost up. The cat’s head was tangling down. It was then they realized that its neck was broken. Dark was still mending the cat while the brothers looking upon helplessly. Dark then brought something to wrap the cat with and brought it in the porch where the light was much better and it was much safer there. Dark then took a damp cloth and cleaned the cat. It was noble of him. Mark, they all knew that the cat wouldn’t last long. He wanted to suggest putting the cat out of its misery, but didn’t do so as it would be insensitive. He kept his mouth shut and walked outside to look around and take a breather. Bark and Dark was discussing something.
Mark was slowly walking back and forth. He looked up towards the sky they weren’t too many stars that night. Remembering the cat panting, struggling to breathe reminded him of the day he saw someone murdered. He still get shivers when he thinks about it, he thought no matter how brave one think he is, after witnessing a brutal murder no one would be the same. He saw in front of his eyes a man beaten by a rather big metal device to his head several times followed by several more times of stabbing. He could hear the sound of metal hitting someone’s head. He could still remember the killers face looking at him. The quiet dark street that night still lingers in his mind till to day. It was then Mark decided that he didn’t want to end up that way and avoided living a dangerous life. He never told anyone but some of his friends about it. Some were terrified and didn’t want to listen till the end. Some just said “don’t interfere”.
Back to the cat, knowing that all they could do was to wait for the cat to pass away. Mark then said that he will be returning to the game. The game had already started. It didn’t appeal that much at that time. Brazil lost to Mexico. When he woke up in the afternoon the other day, he went looking for the cat and didn’t find it lying on the neighbor’s porch. He knew that the cat had died. When Bark woke up, Bark told Mark that the cat died at dawn and the owner was a young lady who lived a few houses away down the street, who looked quite cute, but that’s a different story.
Mark returned to his room, turned on the pc but was planning to read a book. Mark had weirder nights than the one he had last night, but this one will always be on his mind, as it was the night he got injured and as the night that disabled him from playing football for a while. It also did remind him of death and how vulnerable animals/humans (living things) are, but being typical and forgetful, it all seemed far-far away. Mark was once again bored.
Writing to myself
There are many types of people with different ways of thinking and perspectives. A fact that everyone knows, I guess. I am going to write about a happening that occurred to a friend of mine which his dad is the main character and the story is about. This is a real story, felt the urge to say that. Upon hearing it for the first time, I felt a huge amount of respect towards the person.
Before that, ill ramble a bit. I guess its all part of growing up. You (“you” referring to me) meet people, learn about them, get to know them better. I have this interest to learn and assume what’s going thru their mind (not everyone though especially girls, ha-ha). It’s not really impossible to know how their mind works. Just that my guesses are always wrong even when the person is the simplest minded person. Point is, with low mental ability and the unpredictable behaviors of people, one should always ask and not assume (referring to myself again and I learned it the hard way; a girl told me that huhu). I actually read it at my friend’s dad’s office, No, A different friend.
So, here it is a few years’ back Mr. Tom (my friend’s dad) was diagnosed with a certain disease. I am not sure what disease but that doesn’t really matter, what matter is The way he dealt with it. It was to me very manly, I’d say. If I am still in my teens, he’d be my Malaysian Idol. After knowing that he had this disease and needed surgery, Mr. Tom told his family that he had to go away for a few days for some reason, I can’t recall and so he went away. After a few days he called his family and only then informed them about his condition and that the operation was a success and that he’d be back soon. That was it.
Some what it appears that his ways were kinda selfish but when you put your mind into it. He didn’t want his family to worry about him. But then again, that was just too complicated at least for my mind. No matter how normal/typical one may seem, there is times that everyone acts their own ways for their own reasons. I am not referring to my friend’s dad referring to the last sentence. Speaking in general, I was (yoda?). ermm, I forgot my point. There was none to begin with.
Changing subject, Words if assembled/placed carefully in the right form/situation made into phrases/saying can become really powerful and influential, (which I am really bad at). Phrases like. “When you laugh, the world laughs with you .When you cry, you cry alone”. Another example “it’s not that I wanted to live in darkness. It’s just that I was raised in darkness”. This is the best one, “there probably isn’t any meaning in life, but while you are still alive u can find something interesting that you want to do”. The last one, my favorite, “I am still alive, that means, there is still a reason for me to live”. Most of them diambil from Naruto (126) he he. There are plenty more of those, just wanted to give a few example and I am pretty sure you’ve got the idea already.
My point is, even a dumb ass like me can come up with powerful phrases/saying like that or at least steal it. Perhaps it does make sense but some of them aren’t entirely true. If it’s a positive one then we could probably learn from it. If it’s confusing and doubtful then you might want to think twice. “kata oreng melayu”, “buang yg keruh amik yg jernih”. This could be why most religions ask their people to learn and be wise, so that they won’t be easily fooled or influenced with. I am quite sure about this one. I am not trying to sound smart, just speaking through experience and accepting my flaws. It’s kinda weird that I am actually saying these things to myself to remind me that I once thought about things this way.
Before that, ill ramble a bit. I guess its all part of growing up. You (“you” referring to me) meet people, learn about them, get to know them better. I have this interest to learn and assume what’s going thru their mind (not everyone though especially girls, ha-ha). It’s not really impossible to know how their mind works. Just that my guesses are always wrong even when the person is the simplest minded person. Point is, with low mental ability and the unpredictable behaviors of people, one should always ask and not assume (referring to myself again and I learned it the hard way; a girl told me that huhu). I actually read it at my friend’s dad’s office, No, A different friend.
So, here it is a few years’ back Mr. Tom (my friend’s dad) was diagnosed with a certain disease. I am not sure what disease but that doesn’t really matter, what matter is The way he dealt with it. It was to me very manly, I’d say. If I am still in my teens, he’d be my Malaysian Idol. After knowing that he had this disease and needed surgery, Mr. Tom told his family that he had to go away for a few days for some reason, I can’t recall and so he went away. After a few days he called his family and only then informed them about his condition and that the operation was a success and that he’d be back soon. That was it.
Some what it appears that his ways were kinda selfish but when you put your mind into it. He didn’t want his family to worry about him. But then again, that was just too complicated at least for my mind. No matter how normal/typical one may seem, there is times that everyone acts their own ways for their own reasons. I am not referring to my friend’s dad referring to the last sentence. Speaking in general, I was (yoda?). ermm, I forgot my point. There was none to begin with.
Changing subject, Words if assembled/placed carefully in the right form/situation made into phrases/saying can become really powerful and influential, (which I am really bad at). Phrases like. “When you laugh, the world laughs with you .When you cry, you cry alone”. Another example “it’s not that I wanted to live in darkness. It’s just that I was raised in darkness”. This is the best one, “there probably isn’t any meaning in life, but while you are still alive u can find something interesting that you want to do”. The last one, my favorite, “I am still alive, that means, there is still a reason for me to live”. Most of them diambil from Naruto (126) he he. There are plenty more of those, just wanted to give a few example and I am pretty sure you’ve got the idea already.
My point is, even a dumb ass like me can come up with powerful phrases/saying like that or at least steal it. Perhaps it does make sense but some of them aren’t entirely true. If it’s a positive one then we could probably learn from it. If it’s confusing and doubtful then you might want to think twice. “kata oreng melayu”, “buang yg keruh amik yg jernih”. This could be why most religions ask their people to learn and be wise, so that they won’t be easily fooled or influenced with. I am quite sure about this one. I am not trying to sound smart, just speaking through experience and accepting my flaws. It’s kinda weird that I am actually saying these things to myself to remind me that I once thought about things this way.
This doesn't make sense
Mark lived in a village far from everything. He lived with his grandpa. Grandpa Vick used to tell mark many stories and old tales but mark was fond of one story, about the hidden treasure which contains gold coins from the Mejia era. Mark remembers every bit of the story vividly in his mind, even though it has been a few years since grandpa last told him about it.
One day when Mark was bored and didn’t have anything better to do, so he went to his grandpa’s room to get some money for no particular reasons. As he was fiddling looking for money or anything valuable he came upon an old wooden box under grandpa’s bed, He took it and opened it. He found that there was a map and a gold coin in it. He read the map, it wrote “gold coins”. Suddenly as Mark was looking through the map, there was sound of footsteps leading towards the room Mark was in. Grandpa Vick had come into the room and found Mark holding the wooden box and the map in his hands, which didn’t belong to him. Grandpa’s expression was cool and there was no sign of him being mad. He said to Mark, “it’s about time u found that and I guess I don’t have much time left, let me tell you about the treasure”. Grandpa then continued, “Remember the story I used to tell about? The hidden treasure one?” Mark nodded and said “yes, I do”. Grandpa then said, “Well almost every bit of it is true and the proof is the gold coin and I want you to have it”.
So listening to the old man explaining about the coin and the hidden treasure, Mark listened attentively and was feeling surprised, confused and sleepy, why not. After that Mark went to his room of what to do next, he began to think of the things that he needed and started to plan and strategize. While he was doing that, he started fantasizing about how his life would change and the life that he would lead and many other fascinating things that one could fantasize about. By the time he woke up from his day dreaming. Thoughts starting to linger in his mind, “what if I go through all these trouble and fail to find the treasure”. Then a second thought “there’s nothing wrong in trying”. He agreed more to the second one. He was listening to Damien rice- “the blower’s daughter” a song that he rather listened at that time instead of Morrissey- “I have forgiven Jesus” it seemed to depressive at that moment.
After sometime, Mark finally made his mind up and was satisfied with the decision he made. He talked to himself again, “fuck that, it’s just a stupid dream and even if I find the treasure, ill just lose my grounds and living rich doesn’t necessarily mean’s living happy”. A voice in his mind said, “Yea right, that’s what all the jealous poor people say”. He stood up, took a deep breath looked at the gold coin which was laying in the box on the desk. He decided to go for a walk and after a while returned home with a smirk on his face. Mark went straight to his grandpa’s room and gave the old man a few hundred bucks. Grandpa asked “what the hell is this and where did you get it from?” Mark replied, “I’ve decided that it was too much hassle and uncertainties which I don’t like and to be looking for the stupid treasure it just doesn’t make sense, so I exchanged the gold coin for credit”. Grandpa looked awed and looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t. Mark added, “My hands are getting tired and so is my eyes, I’ve to go.
One day when Mark was bored and didn’t have anything better to do, so he went to his grandpa’s room to get some money for no particular reasons. As he was fiddling looking for money or anything valuable he came upon an old wooden box under grandpa’s bed, He took it and opened it. He found that there was a map and a gold coin in it. He read the map, it wrote “gold coins”. Suddenly as Mark was looking through the map, there was sound of footsteps leading towards the room Mark was in. Grandpa Vick had come into the room and found Mark holding the wooden box and the map in his hands, which didn’t belong to him. Grandpa’s expression was cool and there was no sign of him being mad. He said to Mark, “it’s about time u found that and I guess I don’t have much time left, let me tell you about the treasure”. Grandpa then continued, “Remember the story I used to tell about? The hidden treasure one?” Mark nodded and said “yes, I do”. Grandpa then said, “Well almost every bit of it is true and the proof is the gold coin and I want you to have it”.
So listening to the old man explaining about the coin and the hidden treasure, Mark listened attentively and was feeling surprised, confused and sleepy, why not. After that Mark went to his room of what to do next, he began to think of the things that he needed and started to plan and strategize. While he was doing that, he started fantasizing about how his life would change and the life that he would lead and many other fascinating things that one could fantasize about. By the time he woke up from his day dreaming. Thoughts starting to linger in his mind, “what if I go through all these trouble and fail to find the treasure”. Then a second thought “there’s nothing wrong in trying”. He agreed more to the second one. He was listening to Damien rice- “the blower’s daughter” a song that he rather listened at that time instead of Morrissey- “I have forgiven Jesus” it seemed to depressive at that moment.
After sometime, Mark finally made his mind up and was satisfied with the decision he made. He talked to himself again, “fuck that, it’s just a stupid dream and even if I find the treasure, ill just lose my grounds and living rich doesn’t necessarily mean’s living happy”. A voice in his mind said, “Yea right, that’s what all the jealous poor people say”. He stood up, took a deep breath looked at the gold coin which was laying in the box on the desk. He decided to go for a walk and after a while returned home with a smirk on his face. Mark went straight to his grandpa’s room and gave the old man a few hundred bucks. Grandpa asked “what the hell is this and where did you get it from?” Mark replied, “I’ve decided that it was too much hassle and uncertainties which I don’t like and to be looking for the stupid treasure it just doesn’t make sense, so I exchanged the gold coin for credit”. Grandpa looked awed and looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t. Mark added, “My hands are getting tired and so is my eyes, I’ve to go.
