Coherence/Incoherence

Verily look at me, I descend from the heavens, it is fate that I am above all of you, my fair skin radiates in superiority! My fair skin likens me to the angels in heavens, bow unto me people with iniquity! This is my world, I enter the holy place with a vibrant light of faith enveloping me, mesmerizing everyone…bow unto me and praise me for I am better than thee. And these were the thoughts that went through their minds as they entered the house of worship covering themselves in make believe piety.

Get off the throne, u filthy drone, who gave you the permission to act as the honorable one? Wipe of the slime dripping from your face but reality comes and shoves me to my place, this is your world and I am the slave.

The crow then came, and then he said, ‘I am a crow, I am vulturous, I am ravicious, I do my job—you do yours; contemplate... intelligence and stupidity are both yours.’

It was 2020, it is now, it is distant, they make no difference—the so called intelligent people, the bourgeoisie they carry a known trait. It made them successful in the eye of their believers. They lie and deceit but still that’s not their main trait. They are selfish creatures. They steal from humanity and chase for deluded supremacy.

The ‘lords’ they pray in ‘khusyukness’ in their kusyukness apparently other peoples focus and concentration aren’t as important, for they chant out loud and make obvious their ‘religiousness’, for others to hear their voices instead of their own voices. Once again a show of their main trait, the self above everything else, selfishness knows no bounds and they glorify themselves even in prostrating.

I had more than I can handle, I had enough of this, I need release! I was shouting in my mind. I thought the same has happened and as usual my cry vanished in air. I was glad I was mistaken, A few minutes past I see a luminous figure arising in sight. It neared me with its monstrous wings—it took me by its wings and carried me into comforting dark oblivion. Sadly it dropped me back into the land of crazy people. Thankfully, What I met was no man, it was a thin cow awaiting death.

I was peeling an orange and giving it to the cow, it stood up and started eating heartily. I too was happy; I was bringing joy to a living thing. I peeled another one and then another one as it was getting more accepting with each fruit. The cow now grew bigger and looked healthier. Though after a few precious minutes, the cow then suddenly fell and it’s tummy stopped moving. I overfed a cow with oranges. One half of the dead cow turned into sophisticated mangosteens the other into a packet of milk. I took them back home a gesture of putting food on the table.

Your smile wide, almost invading, almost crusading through the doors of the hearts but your eyes are so dark, when my eyes lay lights to your heart all I see is a dry vanquished path, awry the heart has gone weary awry. They’re complacent of their deeds, they’re happy with their creed, the devil lives fornicating in their skins, these men! Are the devils representatives.

The guys in the front row, with their acts of self piety, they stand not adjoined but with gaps amongst them. The devils in between them were named separation, racial segregation and fascist pigs, arrogance, ignorance and the list goes on. All of them rooted from pride and stupidity. Stupidity in piety; I used to hate people, now I hate myself for being of the same species.

And then the snake came, it said, ‘I am poisonous, I am venomous, I am silent and I come suddenly, I attack silently, I learned all this from man and still man is and had always been better than me.’

Hey! Look at me! Look at me! I am pretty piety, why don’t you say something nice about me?

A realization dropped heavily on me, people’s logic and reasoning are beyond me. What they think and believe in is what they think and believe in. Only few have the gift into making them see how they connive themselves into transgressing deities. For now all he can do is strive naturally and hope to accomplish knowledge and experience wisdom and the art of understanding.

I am a little sick, my mind is numb, the chair I am sitting on started rocking by itself, instability caused the chair to rock, instability with a disability, for what it’s worth, life does revolve around dependency and inability.

Beautiful world

"America touts itself as the land of the free, but the number one freedom that you and I have is the freedom to enter into a subservient role in the workplace. Once you exercise this freedom you've lost all control over what you do, what is produced, and how it is produced. And in the end, the product doesn't belong to you. The only way you can avoid bosses and jobs is if you don't care about making a living. Which leads to the second freedom: the freedom to starve." Tom Morello

The quote was longer than 140 words and FB only allows you to write up to 420 words; hence I had to come here. I felt obligated to post it...for myself. And since I am posting it, I thought why not insert some of my own thoughts, right?

Not only in America, most probably the whole world. This is the real scenario, the apartheid towards humanity. We are so deep in this man made mockery that the younger generation would innately think that this is life as it is. Maybe it’s just me, you might think that I am lazy, but maybe I am sleazy but if this is life and the only choices it gives, I don’t see any real meaning, maybe enslavement towards the corporation (indirectly of course). The people on the other hand enslaved towards their material desire, I only see depression and malignance laid for me. But really it’s just me, you don’t have to concern me, surely I wish to find truth in me, in doing so I would find freedom and peace within me.

I know people dislike this from me, ‘maybe it’s just jealousy!?’ I hear hearsays, Well don’t take it too seriously? It’s not that I am asking you to agree, this is the information I agree and this too is my decree, as you can see I have fun with words and vocabulary.

This too reminded me of a cool video clip, enjoy and have a good weekend. I also reminded to remind myself to read the ‘book’ ordained to me.

Mind in Dark Mines

When the self is distressed,

Heavy pounding comes across the chest,

When the mind is depressed,

It dresses black with protests.

When everything points to a certain way,

It is difficult to look the other way,

Depth and wisdom seems so far away,

Truth and freedom lies distance away,

People all over triumph nonchalantly,

People all over live unevenly,

People all over cover their miseries,

I disagree, you look oh so merrily,

My heart beats but weeps of insufficiency.

Poverty of the mind,

Hunger of the soul,

Tantrum conundrums,

Frightened the scoundrels…

Heavy the burden,

People, they don’t seem concerned,

Neither do they concern,

In surviving, you remain mortifying,

In the name of survival,

You truly are the devil’s scrotum.

The soul shouts,

The heart screeches,

The creatures beseeches,

But inside all remain helpless,

The self cries,

Helpless and dependant,

Beat up and rotten,

To the eyes of the world,

He rather be forgotten.

The flesh tears,

The bones try to bear,

Blood, red in pain,

Oh my, life’s strangling,

The breath seems to weaken,

The soul gasp as the mind goes mental.

Earth shattering,

Earth quakes and its entire kin,

Come together and disrupt my sleep,

Asleep and awake both depressing,

Stop lying to yourself,

Make yourself feel better,

Positivity you help no longer,

Positivity, stay with me and let’s lie to one another,

Positivity come, let’s look positively at the world’s atrocities.

Cursed with this expression,

A gift of enlightenment,

Curse or enlightenment?

accursed to enlightenment?

Both,

But the minds needs some nourishments,

The mind is craving for more wisdom.

The soul is pale,

The soul is stale, from appeal and longing,

The soul misbehaves approaching shortcomings,

Disregard this tale, too troubled and confusing.

If you’re not the one bearing,

You might as well stay concealing,

The soul is pale and so is this tale,

It appears proud in revealing malnourishments.

4

Girl next door,

None had to say it but she transcend refined,

Her features were art, I couldn’t find fault,

Soothing to the eyes, relieving the heart,

Surely she must be as wondrous inside,

I kept on eyeing and started dreaming,

Suddenly I witnessed her walking,

My feelings too stood up and went strolling,

The world didn’t move a bit,

The world kept circling,

Selfish feelings, selfless feelings

None has relation with the world revolving.

Amidst the confusion,

Where one stands stagnant,

The soul stands deficient,

The whispering subtly begins,

Awakening the self within,

The self needs reasoning,

You guys are just so mean,

People, why so mean?

He spent years and lives to impress stupid human beings.

I see the old man grinning,

The old men, aren’t they misleading?

I look up for wisdom,

They failed providing intelligence,

I thought of learning,

I left with doubt feeling demeaning,

The old men pursuing teenage dreams while dying,

The old men sad and very disappointing,

I looked for philosophers,

All I met were worse than kids in diapers.

The people backstabbing,

The children dying,

The poor suffering,

The rich suffocating,

Their wealth beseeching,

These Tyrants, so corrupting,

The world keeps circling,

Obvious to what’s happening,

Till the point of reckoning,

No one seems to be beckoning.

I pray for wisdom, I seem to be lacking,

The world ending and I still walk wondering,

The people point fingers still revolting,

The world is ending, ‘people stop hating!’

The man who said that ended up dying,

Killed by the pointing fingers and society’s frowning.

Ramble-Shamble

As usual I’ve been wanting to write and update my blog. I am either too tied up or involved in some event or when I have the time to write, I don’t feel like writing anymore; though I did say to myself that I have plenty to write about a lot of stuff. I jotted them in my memory, an apparent mistake. Now I only vaguely remember some of the stuff I wanted to write about. Well less pressure I suppose.

Work has been awful if it safe to say, if not I take it back. Wait a minute; it could also be that it is me that feels awful for… I don’t know, not being able to discover my true passion or something like that? What if I just don’t like to be confined, enforced or abide to anyone’s demand and rules? A picture of a lazy douchebag appears on your mind? I was actually thinking amongst the line of a wild supreme animal like a lion/tiger/dragon/unicorn that cannot be tamed. The funny thing is all these animals in this modern world has to eat and a family to feed. It hunts by being a powerless slave to the system. Pathetic! Hipsters, here is where you say FML!

Ah! A reminder—I wanted to write about existentialism and how there is no such thing as you are wholly in power of your own destiny. You have very limited choices. For example someone throws shit on you and the choices you have is whether to clean yourself or leave it. Like, what kind of choice is that? I don’t quite remember my other arguments but I am hopeful to write an entry on that or not.

On a different note it shows on how we can actually do things reluctantly, smile and be in that involuntary state till the end of the day and then sulk and try to get lost in a world without anything close to stressful, enforcing activities. Sometimes you are lucky and even when you are your thoughts just lingers and constantly reminds you of what you dislike most and afraid of. Like an alarm clock only this time the agitating alarm clock is attached to a time bomb.

When I was young I have always enjoyed being alone most of the time and being one with nature. Climbing on trees and sitting on roofs and just looking at life. I don’t know if I thought of stuff like life and all back then; I was too young then. Having said that I am also aware that I can’t live without my friends, well I actually can but I don’t want to is what I am saying. So this paragraph summarizes that I like being alone and also like company and friends. Success.

Right now I am alone in the office with no one telling me that I am late in submitting something or in doing some task. I just am enjoying the quietness and the short period of freedom from people. But a voice in my mind won’t shut up and keeps telling me, ‘you better get this done or get your ass shouted at’ every few seconds. Be gone annoying voice!

I just don’t like people in general. The smart ‘gifted’ ones feel that they have this obligation in shaping the human mind in making the world a better place, so to speak. The rest are like sheep’s following and adhering to rules rather obliviously as if this is how it was/is supposed to be. It saddens me that people are not encouraged or interested in finding their true selves and in the actualization of their intelligence bloom like a fresh flower.

All I see is powerful men who are paranoid and unhappy trying to prevail and maintain their assumed happiness by ruining other people’s freedom and lives. I guess it is safe to say that the devil in us did do a great job. What we have now are idiots and more clueless idiots—like sheep’s aimlessly misguided by bewildered dogs who are controlled by anxious, pompous herders.

That’s enough of ranting I suppose? I actually wanted to post a clip and obviously got carried away. The clip is from Salyu. Although I might’ve done so in my previous entries and even if I did, this is a different version and an amazing song. So enjoy and have a good day.

Floating Not Walking

When the eyes first met,

A smile appeared on earth,

Sheer existence, a blessed manifestation;

I sense intelligence,

As I dreamt, risking negligence.

A pretty girl always pleasing to the eyes,

It is not a surprise she’s always in the want,

But until you get to know hearts,

All are superficial and one dimensional.

Hungry I am to confine in her,

The creature in the chest blazes like a night forest on fire,

Hoping to get close and feel your heat within mine,

Now enjoined resulting into a great sign,

Rest of the world will not determine,

The two souls hath combine.

Girls deciphered as soon as they’re seen,

Not stupid, you guys aren’t tough to read.

She however is unlike—yet radiates in light,

Pure kindness and tolerance,

Men all welcome with obedience.

Gentle and tender, my mind speaks of her

Optimistic in trial even mistrials,

Such are the effects,

When dreams escalate,

It turns reality into a façade.

The princesses and the queens should not take this to heart,

It is too late to remove the creatures settling in your heart,

The girl in my dreams however possesses a pure heart,

Such is the dreamer, who has thee in his art,

Who has lost and depart,

Who is of no use when split up.

Man in the mirror (yes, very original right?)

This has to be one of my bad pieces. I started off really angry hence was in the mood to write, but after that I wasn’t as much. I felt like I had to finish what I started hence I came up with what I have…

The young men, the holy men all gleaming with light and protruding great vibe, emanating the path with every step they take. Often when I am adhering, performing my obligatory duties, a voice in me says you’re better than thee, so often in my duties I bicker with my voices instead of focusing on my duties.

I am not as religious as I ought to be, what I am now I am open for knowledge and wisdom. For those who are religious and perform and prostrate and follow the sayings vigorously, to them lies a bigger test, a challenge so delicate and difficult, they fail to realize. They fall, oblivious—so subtle it’s ordeal, they fall without notice.

Remarkable! They’re doing as they are told, but behind their souls lay a great king that dominates and sits with esteem. They now are the best of all people, to perform everything ordained to them, they no longer are capable of sin, they paint their faces with purity of light, the only light they emit are lies through their eyes, they no longer are capable of fault. The irony is they’re focusing too much on their good deeds.

Dragging their words in their speeches, their words and sentences prolonged and beseeches, they pause to see whether they radiate the spaces, making unnecessary pauses waiting for loud applauses, a demonstration to the self of self importance and conceitedness. The whispering voices applaud them into forgetfulness. Like a snake shredding its skin, you slowly but completely change your road to enlightenment.

Righteous in good deeds yet he walks the streets with abhorrence, accompanied by a friend called arrogance. The right eye transcends with piety, the left with self-righteous deity.

Stop looking at yourself so greatly, just because you refuse to agree, doesn’t make you a man of glory, can't bear of meeting smarter people, but don’t you see? There will always be someone more enlightened and brilliant than thee. Beyond your holy dresses, all we see is discordance and condescend; your eyes can’t stop from demeaning and belittling, your soul hath lost to the whispering voice of the vices.

There is no use in debating with your kind; you look at yourself praising and boasting, unaware of us appraising your strange gestures.

Looking at the mirror with your hands clutched on your sides, looking bigger, taller and wiser. Lying to the self, a requirement before lying unto others. Wake up and smell the stupidity in your hostility, don’t be caught up in man-made deities.

Easily threatened, fear of being disproven, disliking questions, forgetting that humans are always of ignorance, but we continue to belittle and create distinctions, creating separation between fellow creations.

Little by little the whispering voices turns you into a person into you once were not. Every good deed you do, tells and reminds you superior you are, every extra deed reminds you on how better you are, every good deeds turns you into a good person whereas inside lies a rotten one, for every good deed turns you into a pompous and arrogant creature, wake up you fool, you’re merely lucky, not cool. Stop looking at others like they’re the fool—you fool the mirror said unto me.

4 Rules to Abide in The Movies

In most major cities, such an issue will probably never arise. Every time, fine almost every time I go to the movies I end up getting severely annoyed and frustrated by the insensitivity of some people. Oddly enough, it’s the same all over the city.

At first I was sure that people were aware of a cinema being a public place and everyone paid to be in the movies; I am not so sure anymore. How can people be so self- centered and conveniently disregard others?

So here are some basic ethics/ common manners you should’ve already known as a human being. It is really unfortunate that a basic thing such as this that even a child would know to adhere has to be brought to attention and highlighted as a reminder to fellow Malaysians so as to not bother others and ruin their movie experience.

Here they are:

1. Do not talk in the cinema, period.

2. Silent your phones and once again shut up.

3. Please do not kick/shake the seats in front of you with your legs. Yes, they even do it when there’s someone sitting in the seat in front of them.

4. Do not read out every single line that comes out on the screen i.e. at the end of a trailer, ‘Coming soon’ like seriously? Do you need to read it out loud and share that information with people?

This may not seem a big deal, but when this happens almost all the time you get to questioning that do Malaysians not possess even basic manners? And then there are those who even when you ‘shoo’, go on talking as if nothing happened.

So yes despite sounding like a douche, I am glad I expressed myself and conveyed this message.

History, Conspiracies and Theories

“The reality! What is the Reality?! And what will make you know of the reality?”

People these days are so corrupt that the corrupt world appears normal, it’s history. To the present day history has been repeating itself, one that can be seen in our current lives, so synonym with life; We are indeed the inhabitants of a world moved by desire and conjectures.

The need to write this piece arose after reading a post on how conspiracy theories was claimed, ‘stupid’ by a juvenile adult I know not of and rather not. To put it short I was over come with a mixture of agitation, annoyance and disappointment. The product of which resulted into coming up with one of my own to do justice to myself and perhaps others in wanting to convey my message and reasoning.

Conspiracy: a secret agreement between two or more people to perform an unlawful act/ plot to carry out some harmful or illegal act (especially a political plot).

Theory: To be clear, theory is not fact. If it were fact then it wouldn’t be called a theory.

There were a few definition of the word theory but this one I found most suitable: ‘Theory in modern English is a concept which originally derives from classical Greek philosophy, for example that of Plato, and is derived from ancient Greek theoria, which original meant a looking at, viewing, beholding’.

Propaganda:

"A society of cardinals, the overseers of foreign missions; also the College of the Propaganda at Rome founded by Pope Urban VIII in 1627 for the education of missionary priests; Sacred College de Propaganda Fide.

"Hence, any institution or scheme for propagating a doctrine or system.

"Effort directed systematically toward the gaining of public support for an opinion or a course of action.

"The principles advanced by a propaganda."

The existence of conspiracy theories is evidence of conspiracies. Conspiracy theories are theories mainly because an act to conspire is in itself a secret/-hidden act.

Our whole lives are constructed by schemes and lies. And our people are so deeply engraved within these lies; they look at this life neither questioning nor contemplating, for this is the only from of life known to them and the people before them. Not wanting to burst anyone’s bubble but we are mere puppets, oblivious towards our puppeteers who controls us, a bunch of humans high up and well hidden trying to play god.

As I mentioned above, conspiracies can also be looked at as history. The most eminent form of manipulation/propaganda/conspiracies are one that separates mankind; Color, religion, races, social classes etc. For instance, the liking and the penchant/fondness towards a person with a fairer skin—Do you really think that a human being was born innately with the sort of ability to disparate? Somebody/someone had instilled the idea in peoples mind, to the extent that it appears ever so natural. Children these days at a very young age are aware of the advantages of fair skin and the superiority that comes with it. What do you call that? A successful conspiracy. Come on now petty Asians, you see a white man, you don’t feel at awe and inferior?

A question, how do you define success? According to a documentary I saw, most do by the amount of money you have. But let’s look at it in a slightly minuscule bigger picture; success is defined by having a safe security. The mind then conjures up with images of a big save haven in the form of a house. Attractive women, posh cars, fashionable clothes, big insurance policy etc follows and pretty soon you find yourself daydreaming. Do I lie or exaggerate? No. This is how success is perceived. People adhering to the public’s eyes and expectation like yourself should know better.

If it were up to me the perception of the society and its definition of success too is an agenda. They hold a stand that indirectly says, it is okay to be evil, selfish, ignorant and arrogant as long as one is rich, he’s considered successful, smart and noble. We are so deep in this shit belief that its stench no longer stink.

Many of you will dislike this, as you feel the sting of my words attack your pride and misdeeds. Deter not for it applies to me as well, for I am not so different than you are; Many of you lack in intelligence a cause to incomprehension, but I, like many take what I comprehend or leave while I can, many of you shall not enjoy this stand, Wary not for the words attack me as I speak, worry not I am dressed in drags, I have no rights to brag.

Usually in my writings I prefer not to quote, take excerpts from religion or it’s scripture. But not doing so will only make my writing a form of opinion, not of reason, logic or fact. This piece is the product of my opinion, reasoning made deriving from my beliefs and in consequent the references and train of thought of a Muslim.

I have left among you two matters by holding fast to which, you shall never be misguided: the Book of Allah and the Sunna of His Prophet.

A man came to Muhammad and said, "Verily I love you." He replied, "Look to what you say." And the man said, "By God! I love you,"and repeated the same twice. Lord Muhammad said, "If you are sincere, then prepare yourself for poverty: for poverty reacheth him who loveth me quicker than a torrent reacheth the sea.

“O Lord! Keep me alive a poor man, and let me die poor; and raise me amongst the poor.”

How much of his teaching and addressing do we follow? I know you might think that I am already straying out of context. But this is how I roll.

Religion defines success on one’s submission of will to God’s, which is also the meaning of the word Muslim. The definition of success:

"The Glorious Qu'ran) In it there is guidance for those who fear Allah and believe in things not visible; they establish Salaah (prayer) and spend from what we have bestowed on them; and they believe in what has been sent down to you and sent down before you; and they are certain of the Aakhirah. (Hereafter) They depend on the guidance from their Lord; they are successful."

Surah Baqarah Verses 2-5

Back to the piece written by the juvenile boasting that he studied in America, on how it is not good to be blaming everything on conspiracy theories and how it is not right to assume that everything is a product of this conspiracy theory. An argument I readily agree with. I do believe that one’s mind should not be avidly focusing on theories as it’ll only prove… well nothing. A theory is not to be believed a hundred percent neither should it be neglected a hundred percent.

Having said that, it is always good to be aware of what goes on and have knowledge on certain… well many things.

Outrageous Misdeeds

One of the biggest propaganda in the modern world is the Palestinian conflict. The Prophet SAW said, "The Muslim ummah is an unique ummah among the whole of mankind; their land is one, their way is one, their honor is one and their trust is one."

I didn’t know how to react whilst reading it. Clearly the Muslim ummah’s mindset does not work that way. The Arab world goes on with life, oblivious and having good ties with their apparent enemies. I like to think that there is little guilt and enmity towards the west. Though they’re blinded with greed and their greed as a consequent now turned them into silent puppets.

There are too some who says, it is the Palestinian’s fault and there are no such propaganda going on? This is a crime towards humanity and the whole world looks with caution, the whole world look with caution at the victims, at the Palestinians as if they were their own attackers.

Israel, How is a small country able to do the worst crime against humanity and get away with it every single time and still claim to be the victim? My friends in this case, yes it is not even a theory nor a conspiracy but a blatant lie; one that we see and ignore nonchalantly.

The media

The media plays perhaps the biggest role in claying, conspiring, propagating and brainwashing. Shaping the mind of children and right through their adolescent age, their teenage days and adult days. Each age group has their level of preferences and a program for their capacity.

“The media is manipulated in all manners, for example through professional public relations (PR), and covert and overt government propaganda which disseminates propaganda as news. What are often deemed as credible news sources can often knowingly or unknowingly be pushing political agendas and propaganda”

Through advertisements, dramas, series, movies, music little by little the mind has being cultivated. A good example would be the younger generations. However it seems like the agenda these days is to make kids dumber with all sorts of addictive entertainments. Strangely that doesn’t seem too effective, as today’s kids appear smarter, most that I have seen at least. Unfortunately the same can’t be said about housewives. Their demeanors, act as a direct relation to the dramas they watch. They’re now reenacting what they see.

Let’s talk a little about its history. Sigmund Freud and Edward Bernays the latter is an even more important name everyone should be aware of. Using his uncle methods of psychoanalysis he propagated the mass of human using their own subconscious against themselves. A World where peoples desire controls the people.

People meet Edward Bernays..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0OrT-8gXMs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiKMmrG1ZKU&feature=related

Conspirators

What does a human do when he gets rich and powerful? He tries to get richer and more powerful, is that not what we learned from human logic, history and from ourselves? If you disagree then you do not befit the ‘mankind’ criterion. Is it so difficult to assume that these world leaders would only come together to maintain their power and be in constant control? The dangerous thing about these people are once you’re high up there, there is no coming down. Their egos and pride would not permit them to do so, not in a thousand, nay a million years! These people obviously will do anything to sustain their status and wealth. Don’t believe me? That’s simple you’re human, ask yourself.

If there is one thing we learned about money is that it doesn’t bring us happiness but only makes greedier for more.

In our everyday life we have people lying and cheating each other. What does one do to be more believable and viable? He gathers cronies. To become a powerful one, you make a group of people consisting of people most prominent in their fields and propagate your propaganda. Yes conspiracy like everything else perhaps started from a modest beginning.

Control

How difficult is it to control the masses? In order to do so you have to be in control of what everyone are chasing for. By doing so you have every Tom, Dick and Harry under your grasp.

One of the amazing things about these guys are they plot and instill in your mind what you should crave for and live for. We then as expected act expectedly Ingenious ain’t it?

There are two things that people these days live for, money and wanting to be in love. Both are emphasized frequently enough to be one and part of their subconsciouses. People spend most of their young adult time chasing money and human love in hope that those two alone are the key to happiness, as depicted in the movies and in fairy tales. Everyone now are in a frenzy of chasing for a supposedly, ‘happily ever after life.’

The Education system too plays a crucial part in shaping the masses into the exemplary citizen they want us to be. Our parents too are bitten and smitten, a victim to this malicious corporations, even making us feel envious towards our brethren.

The people are basically controlled by the government, the Government as an authority figure controls what’s right and wrong and the media, news etc. The government and its people on the other hand are controlled by wealth and desires. The people with money and the power to realize these desires are the string pullers, the puppeteers. The same might apply to all Governments.

For those of you who still cannot see, I pity you, for not being able to see what’s right in front of you, oh mankind, you are an eye sore, a source of disappointment, but if you were to view me the same way, it’s okay we are going our own ways.

Conclusion

You’re in a loop of constant chasing; you work, buy and get bored. Once you get bored, you continue striving for something bigger and you get that and you are happy again temporarily, until you get bored. That is the cycle of your life. In your conquest of happiness, you lose track of your misconceptions and soon you will dread and regret on your wrong implications, Ignorance and arrogance is no benevolence.

I would like to go on but I see that this is long enough. Thank you for reading, I hope you didn’t find it a waste of time, but if you did, then it was out of my hand.

Here are some verses that you might find interesting:

And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow not except assumption, and they are not but falsifying.

The noble Quran Chapter 6 verse 116

And when those who disbelieve plot against thee (O Muhammad) to wound thee fatally, or to kill thee or to drive thee forth; they plot, but Allah (also) plotteth; and Allah is the best of plotters.

Al Anfal verse 30

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Wolf in sheep’s clothing that’s what you are

Hatred runs high,

Despise /scorns with delight,

Nurtured with contempt and unfairness,

Constantly condescended,

No condensed milk can sweeten the hurt,

The earth a place of 2 deities,

A variety of dissimilarity,

Where one reigns over the other,

In the name of survival,

Mercy not one of their portrayal

A descendant of the poor and depressed,

They see us with bias and transgress,

Apparently with poverty there is no equality,

Innocence turned into reality,

Reality is negativity,

Whatever love turned into self-righteous pity,

Fuck you! I don’t need your artificial sympathy.

The young, grown into selfish beings,

They never knew or saw anything altruistic,

Compassion and sincerity words they’ve never known,

Ancestral hatred gave life to a generation of forewarned calamity,

Once again they frown and look with disparity,

Oblivious to the product of their hostility

These people are my family

A perfect portrayal of a self centered community,

That is why ignorant people should not have babies,

They give birth to a generation that adheres to the laws of society,

They teach their children love of world and insincerity,

A continuation to a bloodline of injustice and idiocy

You think it’s easy to reach this stage?

It takes years of cultivated hate,

Constant exposure to hopelessness and enmity,

Born are we people who are fiery,

We are the product of your misdeeds,

The dream for justice can never be reached without knowing hostility

These people who beat us down,

They spat and stabbed

When their help is needed,

They looked down at us and expressed hatred,

Our parents suffered worse than others,

We studied the atmosphere,

Resulting into an insurmountable hatred.

They screech and hurt our loved ones,

All I do is cringe in silence,

My inner demons are awakened

They tell me no more confinements,

My good side too awakens

It preaches to be kind and patient

My inner self both good and bad,

Both capable of kindness and evil,

A man should never think that he’s devoid of evil.

Admired by no one,

Contemplating on the one,

Do we dream of satisfying the people we loathe?

The people we love are just a handful,

Yet we dream of fulfilling what society demands?!

Society and its people act on conjectures,

They wrong the right and right the wrong.

The healthy mind does not torture others

It is the tortured mind that inflicts hatred,

So thank you world for making us sufferers,

And thank you world for making us powerless,

And we know for a fact, that the joke is on us.

Engulfed by fire,

All I see is malign and disdain,

These people…

They awaken the evil that resides,

Oh no! It now reigns over the self.

I try to reason and found compassion,

Discovered patient, at times adherence,

But they kept on transgressing,

I went afar and began calculating,

The consequences always led to disappointment.

Time and time again

I am reminded of the weakness within

That I am not safe from anything

Anything can cause the loss of everything

Constantly depending on the mechanism,

A sign of one so tiny and insignificant

These people are family,

They’re worse than arrogant,

Their weird with annoyance,

I grew up amongst them,

They taught me to loathe people like them.

Hatred and dread brings hatred and dread,

My anger I try to tame,

We are only human,

Tears and pain are part of existence,

Life itself is pain and uncertain,

Having faith overcomes existence.

Uhuh

Civilization has no appeal to me.

I decided to come up with a normal blog entry you know just to do something new for a change and probably to try a different style of writing. I also think that I would go as far as embedding a pic or a couple with this one. So far it sort of gives an indication of what it would feel to have a diary…lame haha.

So as you know this month is trying, tiring and you constantly want to better yourself but also fail miserably in the process of doing so(me). Don’t fret I say to myself.

I’ve been getting very little sleep these days. On the bright side, I kinda find my growing eye bags somewhat attractive. Work goes on as usual and is a tad bit more mundane—though on the plus side, we get to go home an hour earlier. Apart from the apparent eye bags, I also noticed that I get easily worked up, annoyed and crankier than usual; which is ironically a trait that I find extremely irritating. In addition to that stomach aches and headaches too often drop by and instigate uneasiness and foulness of mood. As you can see I am very vulnerable.

I also developed an odd inclination towards cooking shows. I do like cooking but most of the time the need for me to cook does not arise hence I don’t. Though I still find it weird you know watching cooking shows and enjoying them. Say what you want but I am mostly into Indian dishes. You know reminiscing my childhood memories. ‘Reminiscing’ could be a rappers favorite difficult English word haha.

Last Sunday, I had to wake up early and get the laundry done. In the midst of doing so I was called to fix the door to the kitchen and the main door to the house. My uncle brought his power tools with him; they were pretty you know powerful and manly.

Besides not having to rely on others on getting some work done on your own is pretty cool. After a few hours of wood cutting and adjusting them so they can fit into the frames…not forgetting the noise pollution involved and how much it must’ve bugged the neighbors; my labor was almost done and the friend already dropped by. I had to ask him to come in and wait for a bit. He was watching, ‘Whose line is it anyways' as I showered and got ready.

Upon writing this I feel as if I was only half conscious during the day, especially that Sunday. Everything was blurish and I felt like they went by not as vividly if I could say so. I also noticed that your decision making sucks even more when you’re tired and hungry, yes I know you are going, duhh.

Our other friends were mostly too lazy to join us and some were actually busy (according to them). So that left just the 2 of us. Don’t worry that will never bring us down. Power in quality not quantity, anyways we wanted to use our weekend as fully as possible. I told my friend that we’d go to a mall buy tickets and then look for a place to eat, so by the time we finish eating we’d have something to do.

We decided to go to the dullest part in town, to avoid the queues and the buka puasa frenzy. We got there around 6 pm and roamed around and went into stores to kill time. Though it proved not to be the brightest of idea as we found some interesting stuff and ended up buying them.

Around 7 I could feel my back aching and my gastric acting up as well. I tried my best to ignore these uninvited guests by buying some crispy fried chicken, which were pretty big and smelled really good! It was freaking tempting! We then went to this penang restaurant and studied the menu, I have the penchant to be indecisive and order something I most of the time fail to finish and this time was the same; only this time my friend asked for an amazing dish. I ordered the chicken chop…okay I don’t remember the name of the dish. It was like a western dish meet Chinese dish fusion of sort. It was pretty good according to my friend, but all the oil and the richness of the dish was a tad bit too overwhelming for me.

My friend on the other hand asked for the asam pedas ikan pari, you know the one wrapped in a foil. When it arrived my friend was still finishing his crispy fried chicken that we bought earlier and I being a little disappointed with my own food, without the slightest hesitation or invitation tasted his. I took a taste of the gravy and had to take another one, you know to confirm what I tasted. My friend asked how it was. I replied by commenting on the gravy and coughing at the intensity of the gravy.

I ignored my dish and decided to share my friend’s dish of course again without his consent. He knew me enough to know that the dish was too good for me to heed his complaints. On the plus side he got to eat his dish and finish my almost un-touched dish.

I was seriously in a lost frenzy enjoying the asam pedas, my friend was saying, ‘happy, happy, happy.’ I am pretty sure he was singing, hm I don’t know if that was a song. I told him that, dude this must be what it feels like to be happy, pretty convinced at that time. I felt like I was high on drugs. The exhaustion, the lack of sleep and aches and the sensation of the dish produced an exuberant and a different kind of high.

I even ordered a plate of rice to eat with the asam pedas and almost ended up licking the foils. My friend cooly reminded me that it was his dish I ate. I just let out a small laugh trying to acknowledge what he just said.

We got out of the mall and headed towards KL to see a friend who was supposed to break fast with us but couldn’t because his car decided not to ignite. So we decided to go there and try to help him out and probably watch the football game with some other friends who were going there too.

We were still talking about the asam pedas on the way to the car and once we got into the car I completely dozed off and only woke up as we got to the place where our friends were. After watching the game we headed towards the friend’s car that won’t start. We thought that it needed to be ‘jump start’ but then that too didn’t work so we tried to push and force it to start, that too wasn’t good enough for the car. We decided to leave it and come back the next day. The few minutes work out made me miss exercising and playing football..It’s sad really how little I play football these days.

here are some pics:

err...pulling of the excited/ giddy look, worked didn't it?

A triangle of fat boys

Should stop calling them fatties huhu

p.s. I don’t think I would want to write/post my future entries in this fashion anymore. This is homosexual.

p.s.p.s. the 'civilization has no appeal to me' bit was something I heard and wanted to write more about it. I guess I forgot.

This is another amazing song; though a tad bit on the gloomy side...

TMBL

This is just so original and simple. I am sure everyone can share my sentiment here, it seems to emit good vibe and positivity. Well I actually wanted to say Happy Fasting! so yea..(though out of context) love everyone not just yourself or one other person. Have a great month. :)

p.s. TMBL stands for: This Must Be Love haha

Nothing's Gonna Change My World

Under a fake tree, from what they eyes could see, there were two madmen talking to each other. They were in a theatre. A large group of audience was seated in front of them watching them intently, expecting to be entertained like when visiting a zoo. Both characters were dressed in the same torn, worn out clothes.

The casts were an old man and a boy; most of the times they were just sitting on a chair looking at each other with different expressions. The narrator seemed to be the only one doing the talking.

The show began, the voice from the speakers spoke, Pain, remorse and despair, looks like all I can spare…

My works too complex for the masses to understand, too simple for the masters to comprehend, but do they really make sense? Ignorant elitist elevating themselves; These bourgeoisies acting as if they’re gifted with greater intelligence, they failed to see they too live in ignorance and filled with their own arrogance blinding themselves from adherence.

The voice now was talking about one of the cast’s thoughts…

I noticed I was daydreaming when I am supposed to be focusing; all that is left now is agitating. It feels like every time I should be focusing I am forced into daydreaming. My mind inadvertently prefers daydreaming; reality appears not as enthralling.

The veins in my head pulling and distressing, a cause to hurting, my belly full, my heart aching, my head empty, painful thoughts beckoning, the soul feels like its drowning, the demons lurking, consigning misguiding and misleading me amongst heedless thoughts.

The difficult choices, the rare opportunities, the dilemma faced, lies and truth both suffocating, like always paranoia and insecurity settles in, reigning over the shriveled self, a monument to a bleak future, awaiting belittling stares.

The young man then talked,

‘Since I was little, my portrayal was often belittled, every day’s little battle were dealt with enormous trial, for a kid with no ideal, the subconscious tried to replace reality with fascinating parables.’ The old man nodded understanding the boy’s experience.

The voice from the speaker now spoke,

The world and its people acted with sheer shallowness, but to them it seemed normal; they were part a small part of survival, the look in their eyes, degrading and conspiring—they transcend and at the same time emit fear. It is the only world they know, a depiction of lies and a made up world, surrounding the lives of these ignorant citizens. An audience whispered, ‘Is he talking about us?’

Oh brother, my life hath made harder, I sit alone in the depths of the ocean, I stare from beneath looking up at the glimmering stars, and they glow in delight oblivious to my plight. (They both looked up as if looking at the stars above.)

I find my heart getting hurt for not being able to look at the sun eye to eye, try as I might my fiery eyes useless and defeated against the mighty sunlight. Defeated again and again my skin goes wry, dry and my moral eventually dies.

The rain showering with constant attention with every drop that drops onto my skin—I feel affection a realization that I am alive when it rains on me…not so futile after all I am alive!

The trees act as an escapade, I runaway into the trees, sit in its branches and indulge in the fruits it offers, both of us comfortable with each other, accepting one another like no other.

I woke up from my stupor, the surrounding changed, the atmosphere got hotter, I see fire hazards and a haggard bastard, the rich dictator darkening a child’s future, the once a child now a poor bastard raising his hand in hunger.

The boy then said, “I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad, is what I hear the people say, makes me realize we are all the same, how sad… I am attracted to clear lies. I have fallen into my worst nightmare, mind you, I live in a corrupt mind, how can I not be drawn to gleaming wealth that produces astounding bliss and delight?”

The poor old man, with nothing but his own thoughts cried, ‘suppression of anger, supplication towards the creator, understanding one another, the indication in denial, the ideals breaks apart, the idols stands all mighty, they were seen worshipping a man made deity.’

The boy looked at the old man, asking him on how to stay apart and at the same time not depart? He answered, ‘look at me I stayed apart and done my part. All that I have received is struggling and they hammered me with their eyes, they see me as if I appear as low as the feet are to the ground. Even in my dreams, I dream of people stomping on me.’

The boy cried, tears streaming down his eyes, thinking how he failed the part, ‘my mind says it’s not ready for this kind of disparity, apparently I am not ready to depart from the world, I am not worthy, Mr. Dorothy.’

But when we walk on our legs, they pout and look like they’ve been disrupt, the people in unison then said, ‘he does not come on fancy wheels, how can we be friends with someone who walk the streets?’

The old man replied, ‘our kind, we walk the boulevards looking down at the ground, to avoid from all the frowns, even the drivers at the drive way waiting for their bosses look at us with affront. Nevertheless no amount of disgust will stop me from attaining attainment.”

The narrator was now speaking out their consciences aloud, Go on laugh all you want, you might think I exaggerate, but we are able to look into your eyes and decipher your lies, through your very eyes; one can see another’s whole life and secrets. The audiences were silenced but the air in the theatre was getting tight with aghast.

The narrator continued, I fret everyday on how the conspirators succeed in changing people’s mind, their priority relies on popular belief, the majority are a baffled lunatics, everybody hoping to reach superiority, hoping to rule with supremacy, who is this priory pulling these strings, making a fool out of human beings, Cultivating their minds into heedless, self absorbed insensitive beings?

The old man then spoke with strong emotion, “no different than a stray dog, no whore will give water to this poor dog, you rule the terrains in the world, but we are endowed when the rain comes down, the trees and leaves, we hid ourselves in its branches—in raindrops we console each other with tears that drops.”

The boy now stood up and addressed his audience while motioning his hand moving it as he spoke, “What does this tell about me? I keep on complaining and bitching, clearly there’s something missing, in my chase to attain clarity, the body that houses the soul, it needs superficiality?! Could it be that I lack security? Could it be that I lack stability? Could it be spirituality? But then stability and security are just a depiction of the mind, no?”

The boy sat back at his chair facing the old man. The narrator started again, they realized they were going mad, (the boy and the old man both at the same time exclaimed, ‘I think I am going mad!’) the narrator continued, as they witnessed angels descending from the skies. A group of people tied by ropes on their backs dressed as angels were slowly pulled down to the stage, they moved delicately almost weightlessly. Their silvery features and golden transparent wings lit with beauty and happiness. Their faces were filled with happiness and gold dust.

The angels went around in circles and started caressing both the boy and the old man. They then made the boy and the old man lie down on the wooden stage. Soon after that, the angels pillaged on their heads and crushed their skulls. Even so, immediately after that they recovered and got their limbs back. The angels proceeded to step on them and crush them. And again they recovered and had an expression of dismal and disbelief in their faces. This continued for what seemed like a hundred years said the narrator exaggerating for effect.

The audience applauded. The lights were turned on and everyone stood up to getting ready to leave the theatre hall, but the exits were remained closed.

Not so fast the voice from the speakers said, what you just saw was a depiction of what you are going to go through; with that the place went dark again.