hope

There was this guy called hope...a normal guy in his early twenties,confused about the past,present and the future too...Hope was always hoping for a change that,I think didn't come true actually it did not come true at all.Hope just kept on hoping its not that he didnt want to do something about it, Iam guessing that he didnt really had the opportunity to even try.

Hope was a quiet guy he used to walk around alone before night just nearby where he lives,I once saw him sitting on a bench at the park nearby where he lives..before night that is.Decided to leave him alone since i thought that he wouldnt want to be disturbed.People just ignored him not because they didnt care but thats just what people nowadays do...escpecially in the city,no matter how weird you are they claim to have seen it all and dont seem to be bothered as they are too busy chasing and building their own life which i think they too arent really sure about,then again have you met someone that was sure about "things".

Coming back to hope...regardless of what others think of him Hope didnt seem to care about their existance and that was what i thought i knew.Come to think about it why would Hope hope for a change or changes if he didnt care about others or their existance.You know,why be someone better when you dont care at all,was he trying to please himself...then again a thought this is.Does every single human live thru others expectations and to fulfill their own dream when it actually revovles the people around them which plays a role of proof to see that you have succeded in life?

Hope looked to me and said "if i dont get what i hoped for would i atleast get the satisfaction of living a normal life",being someone honest i said "first of all your not normal,secondly life isnt fair so for you no matter how much u hope for even if u had the oppurtunity to try you might still end up being a failure and still be the same guy u are...were...will be".Hope didnt at all lookes suprised neither he had any signs of anger.He just looked away and said if i knew how it was gonna end i'd wouldnt be bothered to hope.I then said..

It feels like something is,
pushing ang graining against,
my weakend heart

Yet it is no pain and,
bearable,still the feeling so real,
it does not hurt
just that its pain and it affects

Feeling the feeling of,
weakness and hoplesness,
not pathethic,not sad,
iam lying

Just one of those days,
that reminds us that,
we are after all,
petty mortals.

Hearing that Hope said Iam used to the feelings,Iam hoping for a change,Iam scared of changes,Iam hoping for changes...

Hope decided that he wanted to end his life because of the depression and the dissapointment...i quickly said that killing yourself would only make you a coward and that he'd burn in hell as it is against religion...Hope just grunted and if i got it right he said there might be hope in hell,that was when i realised that Hope was just plain mad and proved the rumour about him having a certificate that proves his insanity.

I was just errmm "blank"?...angry at myself...said to him if you are planning to cut your wrist,remember its not across the road its down the road...at the least make that happen...walked away with my head held high.

1 comments:

MidlifeCrisisDolmat said...

That was beautiful...And you said you couldn't write well enough! Well, in my opinion there's a little bit of Hope in all of us, no matter how sure we seem to be to the outside world...