Therapeutics

There he laid, on the green covered ground, there was a grin plastered on his face. His eyes were glimmering without worry. He took in the scent of the fresh air; he did this almost delicately and slowly. His chest rising and going back down gradually and his eyes closed and re-opened as he did so, taking in the sensation. The atmosphere around him unpolluted and undaunted. Adam was in one of his self-therapy sessions. The power of the mind he said often, ‘immense’.

 

Adam unlike the normal man lived in a cage akin to a bird’s cage only vastly larger. There were others too like you and I, but oddly enough they seem to roam free and reach places he never had, could. These made him envious and question a lot of things. But his seemingly adverse fate also made him into an avid thinker, a questioner, a doubter, a contemplator who contemplates when others bother not to. His questioning nature turned him into a formidable person. He was quite wise and flexible in his mind. He learned and experienced many things to the extent that not many things could surprise him.

 

However his thoughts were being infiltrated by things un-calmly and unnecessary at that time.

 

He suddenly realized his calmness fading, his therapy session is being disrupted by interfering thoughts and by a snap into reality; Adam was anxious in wanting to get rid of his current frame of mind. He got so angry that he stood up and got into a frenzy. He had a pained look in his face, no longer filled with calmness but the contrary and his hands and legs were starting to shake. He started punching his face frantically and then after a few seconds inhaled and exhaled letting the flow of air in and out. He started to calm down; he now dropped down and lay on the carpet of grass. There was once again a smile on his face. His feeling of despair was replaced by something else. He now had something else to focus on now.

 

Once again, alone without interfering thoughts, he resumed his session. But this time his concentration didn’t last for long, it was spoiled by the sound of approaching footsteps he could hear amidst the quiet of his surroundings disturbing his indulgence that he was having with himself. Adam without getting up turned his head towards the sound of the footsteps. He noticed an old man approaching him. Both now eyeing each other as their distant grew closer but without any immediate response whatsoever. The old man as he stood less than a foot away from Adam sat down beside him where he was still laying.

 

There was a sense of familiarity between the two. Both remained quiet for what seemed more than 5 minutes. Then out of the blue, “What is the purpose of my existence? When everyday I wake up this life that is full of miseries, that denies me from revealing its mysteries.” Adam eyed him sharply for a bit but paid him no heed; he resumed looking at the skies where he could see the make out the outline of the metals from the cage that confined him.

 

“What is this life? Suffocating, complex, entrapping and un-answering, like living a life in a huge maze; is the purpose of my living to experience pain that never cease to perish?” Adam looked at him again but this time had a look of agitation on his face. He shouted, WHAT are you tr… that was the only words he managed to say before the old man cut him off and said to him, “but these are not my words, these are yours. I am merely conjuring up your subconscious, so that you can hear for yourself.”

 

After a few passing moment, Adam without looking at the man said, really? Well I am glad you know how I feel then. But how would you know my state of subconscious ness when even I don’t have the slightest clue? Said Adam without looking at him “But you do” replied the old man. There was then another moment of stillness where both people not only did not utter a word but remained unmoved like statues.

 

Mind games, he muttered in his breath.

 

During this time, Adam now was starting to become aware of something. He was feeling more surprised than before as he was again hearing approaching footsteps heading his way. I wonder who it’ll be this time he said to himself and checked whether the old man was still sitting beside him. He was, the old man was staring at the remote mountains and appeared to be in awe.

 

 Adam then glanced to the source of the footsteps, to his surprise it was a young woman. The first thing that Adam noticed about her was she was in a bright red woolen hooded coat.  She had black hair and a very fair complexion. Adam started to realize that he was starting to get attracted to her already. As she neared them she looked at Adam and shrieked, “I am your father!” she then like the old man clarified, “those are not my words, most probably yours.” She then proceeded to sit right next to him. Adam was now lying in the middle of these two people. She brought with her a basket filled with food, drinks and candies. They were all now eating. None of them were invited to but it was as if they had a similar thoughts/ mutual understanding.

 

Adam took a slice of bread and started to munch on it. It was soft and delicious. All three ate very slowly and seemed like they were trying to feel every single sensation with each bite.

 

Adam paused and realized; he was starting to enjoy himself. He thought that maybe this too can work as a therapy. And why is that I know what is real but not revealed to me what is real? He spoke suddenly.

 

Circumstances without opportunities nay choices, ill content perhaps. Surely Not content, inconsistent, unfair and unhappy. This results to a sad being. I didn’t grow up to become this adult. Nay, no I am not delusional enough to mistake earth from heaven. Indeed weak and frail, lacking a cause. Where betrayal and tyrannical goes hand in hand.

 

Dramatic, paranoid, this neither an exaggeration or made to appear so. It was noted, notified, taken into account for what else would’ve been produced from an unhealthy childhood if not a man of such.

 

“My-my now aren’t we a major wrecker for good moments?” said the girl. She sounded neutral but she looked rather weary, annoyed of her mood being spoiled. The old man just smiled or sighed, it was difficult to pay attention to him. As the girl in red was dropped her hood and was eyeing him.

 

There were no sound of approaching footsteps but it came from right in front of him and there was nobody too. But indeed there was a brick, a perfectly fresh orange brick flying in the air and CRACK was the sound when it methodically and delicately hit Adam’s skull.

 

The girl waited for a few moments and seeing that he was starting to drip took out a handkerchief from one of her pockets in her red coat and carefully started to mend the wound. The old man took some kind of ailment and offered it to the girl.

 

“My-my how peculiar and shocking” she said with an obviously pretentious tone. It also seemed as if she was intentionally trying to sound that way.

 

Why not one of you? I questioned. “It was meant for you.” Both stated matter of factly.

Her handkerchief was soft, not too thin and produced an odor that serenaded the mind. And her touches; so womanly, delicate and gave the impression that she cared. Although it was just his imagination, he could tell.  

 

She spoke as she took care of the wound. “The absence of meaning, the absent of the essence of life, devoid a sense of direction, each day seems more intertwined.

Like a bird in a cage, a man with no brains, an unavailing compass, and a blind tour guide. All seems hopeless when the road in front unclear to the eyes. Staying set in shackles, trapped, forbidden and unable to unveil.”

 

The old man was still staring in front of him and appeared to be caught up in his own thoughts. Adam looked at him; I started to think that it could be that he is just trying to appear so all these mind games, as if knowing how one would react. It was irritating me. So I said to him, are you just going to sit there and not say anything to what she just said? Adam asked.

 

He looked at me and said, “Those are not my words. It may also be that it wasn’t her, nor yours” And gave out a short grin knowingly knowing how that might annoy me.

 

I wasn’t going to fall for that, so I focused on not giving into what they might’ve assumed on how I would react, Adam thought. He took some candies from the basket and chewed on them hastily. Not making any attempt to take in the pleasure that emitted from my taste buds. The girl and the old man looked a little grim by His actions.

 

He looked at her and noticed her cheeks were slightly pinkish and also realizing that she had all the right curves at all the right places. “Alluring, tempting, mind boggling” she said. Adam looked at her dumbfounded and she knowingly said, “Most probably, not gonna happen” I should be careful with the things I think, he thought and she nodded.

Adam remained quiet, embarrassed of what just happened. The girl continued to chew slowly and the old man looked like he was getting sleepy.

 

“Do you want to hear something?” she asked

 

I thought that it was better than all of us being quiet and caught up in our thoughts, so I replied, sure go ahead.

 

“Yesterday I met some friends and one of them said to me something I found absurd, let me make my way of conveying more interesting” with that she cleared her throat and began:

 

“A friend of mine,

Had information of a news,

Shocked was I, to hear of a feat,

For women being the reason for living,

Said as if a revelation received from the heavens,

Slow, uninformed, shallow and dumb?

A man’s test being a woman,

A woman’s test being material,

Beyond that aren’t we, no?

The basic of questions,

Probably the most revealing,

Apparent, obvious, evident and observable,

Lived for so long and it took you so long,

To muster something so pubescent,

Unfathomable, deeper and much wider,

The meaning and the mysteries of life,

Than women being the cause for living.”

 

The old man then suddenly out of his quiet streak and as if taking the baton from the girl said, “I don’t like good-looking women, woman called beautiful disgusts me, after all none of us men are more than a sack of shit.”

 

That’s interesting I said, didn’t know you would say something like that.

 

“But I am not done yet, he told me”

 

Well by all means go on then, I said

 

“I have something to say too, and I too would rather make it more interesting by means of saying.”

 

With that he started:

 

 

“Oh wretched life, mean and unkind,

Once peace settles in, I forget your kind,

Rare and remote, far and secluded,

Chasing and searching,

Looking and hoping,

Constantly seeking, for a better meaning.

 

The wretched and the wicked,

Anguished and the weakened,

Stripped off of honor and chastity,

Awaiting for a time of changes and transformation,

Touched and awakened,

The truth has been spoken,

So calm and serene, a time for rectifying

 

Mind staying avid, until the next deceit,

The message underlying, the mortal so forgetting,

For temporal excitement, he puts himself in dire,

Short time of pleasure, leads to error, led to a lifetime of terror,

One thing led to another, condition becomes severe,

 

Superficiality, having abandoned intelligence,

It lives life, an animal existence,

Mindless and self-centered

What other than Prisoners of desire.”

 

Adam thought for a little of what he just said, the old man now joined the girl. Both of them were eating of what still remained in the basket. They looked at him staring at them. Both of them started eyeing me back and the old man after intensely looking at me said, “Your turn”.

 

Adam stood up without thinking and started walking away from them. He walked till he reached a few feet away turned and said, later guys; it was nice seeing you today. Peace be upon the both of you. “Yes, like you can walk away from us. We’ll see you later then.” She added.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

  

2 comments:

rantings and ramblings said...

panjangnyeee...

Vagabond said...

ye biasala~ muahaha