-The Prophet-
Takraw
Things are going pretty well? Not really but its better than before certainly – is this just a short pause or as they say it, the calm before the storm, until something big happens? The emptiness still visits often… leaving him in despair and caught in claustrophobic darkness. The material world filled with tests, pain and struggle. Only the act of thinking of the omniscient and the omnipotence does solace and gratitude resurfaces.
Most of the time paranoia, a despicable close companion constantly a reminder on what and what could and might eventually happen. The soul shivers from the thought that its own mind delivers.
Though he had found what is important and gives him a sense of living but everything else are enablers, that enables him to continue walking into the journey of learning.
This is a reminder; as a friend would – a repetition to look at the bigger picture, do not be afraid of your superiors, and remember your dreams and the bigger goals. What we are doing here are enablers that enable us to do of what is of most importance to us though not entirely all significant to this world. One sacrifices a bigger part of his self and time so that when he has that little time, he could use it to realize his most important dream…
The perils, the faces and the phases one is put through, never easy to the human eyes, each one his own universe, with his own beliefs and perceptions…Despite the fact that most are short sighted, easily taunted and a product of conjectures.
The sinking of the heart, the trembling inside, and insecurity that leads to emptiness. Like a dark cloud blurring the vision, focusing on something of insignificance – All these feelings and emotions corrupting the mind, deforming it and weakening and encourages one to go astray.
And as usual the struggle goes on, walking down the path with thorns and fears of all kind all around, ever so carefully especially from the subtle whispers that most of the time goes unaware of. It is known that the self encompasses of both good and evil, man capable of both good and evil… To be in constant control and tame the self within. A duty for the ordinary man—to extend his hand, to what he's preaching.
Merely Quoting
Seeing that I don’t really have the leisurely time to come up with my own fiction for the time being…this time around, I decided that I would just quote others in their beliefs and thoughts. This however would probably be the first part of perhaps a couple more. The Subject, mainly being on the ways and beliefs towards the pursuit of happiness, according to some highly esteemed people.
My purpose in writing this is mainly to share with others on how people have different beliefs and methods of thinking. I have always been interested in people and the way they think and how diversify and interesting thoughts can get. By knowing these thoughts, I am assuming one would be more opened and be able to reflect on their own beliefs and perhaps study themselves and their beliefs a little more.
According to the Spanish philosopher Seneca, happiness can only be achieved by having a sound mind in constant possession of its soundness; then a brave and energetic mind. Which is also gifted with the noblest form of endurance; able to deal with circumstances of the moment..Everlasting freedom and tranquility follow once we have banished all that vexes and frightens us.
Emboldened by the stoic belief that happiness is independent of mere circumstance, he accepted the ’blessings of fortune’ without embarrassment or shame, yet remained fully prepared to relinquish them a t a moment’s notice.
On a different note, Marcus Aurelius the Roman explains that happiness feels more like wrestling than dancing because it requires us to, “stand prepared and unshaken to meet what comes and what we did not foresee.”
Epicurus said, ‘Those who least needs extravagance enjoy it most. The happy man is not he who drinks when thirsty but he who has no thirst. It is not that we want food, drink and shelter (although that’s how we appear to feel) but we want not to be hungry, not to be hungry and not to be cold; we become truly happy not when we satisfy our desires but in the next moment: the moment we realize there are no desire left to satisfy.”
Lucretius a student of Epicurus, on addressing the people said, “Their ‘greatest joy’ was to stand aloof in a quiet citadel, stoutly fortified by the teaching of the wise, and to gaze down from that elevation on others wandering aimlessly in a vain search for the way of life, pitting their wits against one with unstinted effort to scale the pinnacles of wealth and power of joyless hearts of men! O minds without visions.”
Cicero on Epicurus who have claimed to become insensitive to pain while having memories of conversation with close friends said, “No memory however ecstatic can prevent anyone from feeling pain. A man exposed to unbearable heat does not comfort himself by remembering that he once took a cool bath.”
This from one of the Indian kitabs entitled, Yoga: path to happiness
“An old Indian story tells of Viveka, a new born prince, whose enemies in the royal household put him into a basket and sent it floating down the river. The infant was rescued from death by a peasant couple who raised him as their own. (This is the story of Mosses but with the social classes reversed.) Unaware of his true birth, Viveka nonetheless suspected that he had come from somewhere else, because his true mother, true family and true home all appeared to him in dreams. On his sixteenth birthday he left to search for them. After journeying for more than seven years, he found his way back to his true home. When he reached the royal palace, where his family had waited so long for his return, he discovered that the king his father, had died. Viveka knew that he was now king, yet struggled to find his kingly nature; raised in a world of poverty and hardship, he knew only how to be a peasant, overtime, and under the patient guidance of his teachers, Viveka cast off his comfortable yet mistaken identity and embraced the strange new reality of the person that, unbeknown to himself, he had been all along.
Of course, Viveka is not a real person, and there never was a peasant who, by some outrageous good fortune, turned out to be a prince. Viveka cannot be real because he is something more than real: he is an archetype, a revealing pattern for the course of human life. In this pattern of separation and reunion we might recognize, perhaps to our astonishment that we ourselves feel divorced from our true nature and long to be reunited with it. Viveka’s mythical search through the jungles of north india is the symbol of our actual search for our true but hidden self, yet waiting for us to find it, waiting for us to come home.”
I’ll end with this paragraph derived from Ramakrishna
“Man is always restless; always moving from place to place…fact that he is dissatisfied with his finite nature shows that it is not his natural condition. The fact that he has infinite ambition, that he has insatiable hunger for more and more, proves that he is infinite by nature.”
Feel free to come up with your own opinions and probably agree on the quotes you find agreeable. Thank you.
Manggis
Mysterious on the outside,
Green, purple, brownish and red,
A mystery you are, till your ugly skin is pressed and spread,
Like a diamond covered in a blood bounded ball,
White, pure, perfectly shaped in slices of eights,
And again a portrayal of the ugly side,
Sticky, foul, ill mannered, I contemplate,
Reminds me of a girl I used to date,
Sweet and memorable when the taste buds get a taste,
But more than often infested with insects and pests,
Most of the time only pleasant to the visible eyes,
Till the foulth hath gone into the mouth,
you realized you've misinterpret,
And just like a fly, you keep inviting yourself back again.
Updates!
Hello people! Yes I know I haven’t been updating my blog. Not that I don’t have things to write about. Hmm…Imma goona choose to blame this on work, I’ve been assigned to newer tasks at work ergo causing me difficulty to slack off. Yea I know, sucky-sucky.
So instead of spending time writing and consuming myself with constructive thoughts that leads to an eventual bitter view on things, I have to work instead. Yes, agony! haha.
I’ve been writing stuff in my sketch book and occasionally jotting down stuff that I’d like to turn into entries. So I would like to think that I would come up with an entry soon enough.
At the moment I am reading a reely good book called, ‘the conference of books’ by Khaled Abou El Fadel regardless of the beautiful way of putting words into writings, which made reading more lucid and enjoyable. The important messages/ experiences conveyed and on proper understanding of stuff.
What really stirred, incited, evoked and motivated me was when I read about how the author gave details on the importance of reading. Well I could explain more about it, but you would probably not share the same sentiment. So if you could get a hold of the book, you would know where I am coming from. It would be safe to assume that I am more inspired and self assured or in other words I was encouraged to make reading one of the main priorities in life.
On a different note, I am not sure if you’re aware of my Stop Littering group but lately I’ve been talking with people who share the same interests, who are more devoted and better organized than I am. In the near future in the event of things working out, I’d be joining hands with these guys and work on necessary things.
Again jumping out of topic, I know this is pretty prudish, but if you have constructive reading materials, do let me know so that I can borrow it from you hehe. It gets pretty boring reading stuff and having no one to share and talk with, on the book that is.
I’d also like to say that I am pretty weary and not in favor of the way things are. But I guess, it reminds me on whom I am and where I am living in, a weakly, dependant human. Nevertheless, my survival skills or luck has been pretty impressive, so here is to a stronger more filled with wisdom life in the future.
Wow, who said I couldn’t rant? Haha. Imma gonna leave you guys with this clip which obviously I find interesting, enjoy!
p.s. damn clip took sooo long to download and then to upload, you better like this! So please go, ‘soobarashii!’ when you're done with it haha
Gatsuby!
Hm say what you want and i know i've been going on and on abt this commercial, but this is a diff one from the last one..and even better! the tune is sangat catchy btw haha
Bitter in Error
A hint of a smile,
When your eyes sets on mine,
A grin spread across your face,
Enlightening and divine…
Only these thoughts constantly fixed on my mind.
For a moment there,
All troubles seem to fade away,
In a fantasy world of you and I,
Just the two of us leaning in, so endearing
A Temporary getaway,
Perhaps escapism or a hideaway,
For before I gain wisdom,
Your presence alone lies in mind
But reality being a stronger force,
Awakens us with an abrupt force,
Treacherous, corrupt, malignant and self-centered,
Wretched and withered,
away with my peace of mind
All pretty on the outside,
A joyous view to look at,
Everybody acknowledges,
Oh you the public delight!
Humbled I am, into feeling this way,
Dazzled by beauty, forgetting equality,
Though I am a man, still appealed to splendor,
A dreamer, a hopeful, a daylight dreamer
Seeing I see not,
Hearing I hear not,
Judgments went wrong,
Instincts in error,
No need to construe further...?
SunnyDay Knot
In the distant future a war broke out between a big country and an even larger one. Needless to say, the consequences were devastating. The war changed the world, as we knew to a dissimilar almost unearthly place. Many today see this war to be one of the most significant turning points in the current post postmodern history.
There were many who predicted and prophesized that in the year 2012 something astonishing would happen--apocalypse, massive destructions, natural disasters and the likes… indeed many incidences occurred, one of them however was more wondrous than disastrous; Kate Beckingsale, Scarlet Johansson and Emma Watson got married to the same guy, a once ordinary Asian dude, who plays football and who gets afraid of the dark sometimes.
Back to the subject, in 2012 something terrible happened to the Sheikh and his brothers who owned Man city; they went penniless. And like dominos, the same happened to the other oil dwelling countries. This is believed to be one of the main reasons that prompted the war.
On the bright side, there was still enough oil to maintain the current demands and to keep things moving along for a couple more years. But Instead of saving whatever fuel that is left, these countries went berserk and cultivated plans to own oil reserves from other countries. Thus they used whatever oil they had with them in their all out war against terror, or so they proclaimed.
The war went on for what seemed a lifetime. For day and night they fought nonstop the war gradually and as expected began to spread. Needless to say it was a moment of growing chaos and uneasiness.
Other countries one by one started showing their stand and supports. This succumbed to an all out war. Almost every single country had a feud with another. This war would be known as ‘World War, The Fall of humanity.’
The war went on for nearly a year until on a gloomy Wednesday around 21 o clock, Something unexpected happened, to everyone’s shock; during this time of war and obliteration a meteorite hit a part of the earth and caused nearly a quarter of the whole world’s population to perish. The world now had a deficiency, a hole in it. It was no longer round, no longer oval in shape.
The war ended the very next day. People were devastated and terrified. The larger country that was the other main protagonist in this war became non-existent due to the meteorite hitting it. Some was convinced that it had to be the wrath of God.
In the coming years like most things in history, people came to know of the meteorite or the punishment of God as a conspiracy. One country invented a new powerful bomb that was made to appear and act like a meteorite and was obviously able to cause a colossal amount of destruction.
This fact was hidden from the outside world for so long by the country that invented the bomb so as to not receive bad press from the media. Though a few years later, someone felt the need to gloat about it and leaked the video of the bomb making process on itube, the scientist who built it posted it. He went by the name, Jerry Einstein.
A year went by and People were still predicting that it was only a matter of time till the world came to an end given the damage that it has been through and judging from the current state that it’s in.
Presumably, One would think that the citizens of the world would be nicer to each other or focus on leading a peaceful life with one another. That didn’t happen though. Humans were forgetful and spiteful.
Their forgetfulness amounted to separations and segregations. There were 2 groups one was powerful, and the other weak. Although the human population was at its lowest in history, hatred accompanied by pride and greed was still running strong.
It came to a point where one group didn’t want to be in the least bit similar to the other. The dominant with their new inventions would try to detach them-selves in whichever way they could from their weak peers.
There were also no fat people in the world anymore, on one side they had the advancement and technologies to remain fit and had the perfect body they always wanted. On the other they just lacked food.
In Recognition to the war, Desperate men in times of war and calamities often come up with new amazing inventions and due to the already advancement in technology; these inventions appeared unreal and one that defied human nature. They were now working on the manipulation of the human organs. Despite the investments, sacrifices and effort made, the results were not credible. However In the year 2016 they did manage to change the color of blood, I’ll come to that in the next paragraph or the subsequent one.
In refuting these inventions and means of separation, a statesman from the weak side obviously, in his speech said that humans are mortals no matter what means they used to appear inhumane or immortal. Towards the end of his speech he stated, ‘people disregarding how powerful, beautiful or how much they try to distinct themselves from the rest, when they need to excrete, they have two options, either sit or squat.’
This same man, A few years before in his speech said, ‘we are all the same inside’, the other side then confronted and disproved him by changing their blood colors from red to every other color there was in a rainbow. They could pick any color.
His speech hit them like a huge earthquake it shook and hurt their egos. Upon hearing it they immediately requested and funded a team to research for alternative methods to excrete. They also had the statesman canned in public before sending him to his death. They had enough of rebels and wanted to make him as an example. The speaker however became an icon for his beliefs and his bravery. His name… was Mahmood Gandi.
Several months after the death of Mr. Mahmood Gandi, the powerful side gave birth to a new magnificent invention; the ‘Capsule toilet’. One merely had to take off their clothing and lay down as if they were sleeping and do their business. It was pretty huge, like a larger version of a tanning bed. They merely had to go in with their pants off.
It was exactly like a capsule; it had a door handle to it, obviously after you were affirmed as the user of the capsule by the capsule’s system first. And in the inside there was a compartment shaped exactly for the user alone. In other words it was customized for one person alone. In addition to these people being high and mighty, they had to make it extravagant.
They added many functions and features to it. One could do pretty much everything one wish to in it. It was air-conditioned. And by either using verbal commands or by tapping on a the specified button, one could; eat, Nap, shower, watch TV, go on the internet (watch porn), play games, call a friend or a family member and of course use it as a toilet. There were many other applications in which, if the user had found a liking towards, could just have it downloaded.
It was really elegant and fashionable looking. The price of this machine was the equivalent to several posh houses. It was the ‘in’ thing during these times. The catch phrases used for marketing purposes were: ‘heaven in a capsule’, ‘Now you can really have the ‘space’ you always wanted’ and ‘I lie down to do my businesses, inhumane!’
In the frenzy of the spreading of this trend amongst the Powerfools, People started to be more and more distant with others, to the extent of neglecting their already neglected family members. This problem then exponentially started to worsen…when they refused to come out. At first they were in it for a day or so, but then they started to fall in love with their new home and one day turned to two and like that the numbers increased.
Something peculiar then occurred, one after another in their special confinements started dying in their customized new home. This feature however wasn’t stated in the manual, but seeing that it seemed appropriate and already convenient for use. And knowing that they would’ve wanted it, the deceased were buried in with their expensive capsules.
The weaker side believed this occurrence to be the wrath of God. But the mightier side believed it to be a terrorist conspiracy or even a coincidence. In the cemetery, a friend of the deceased was giving a speech, “we believe that we are gods and the weak have to believe in a God, because they are too weak to depend on their own and to him alone they could confide in and seek for help. What else does that says, but an acceptance to one’s weakness.”
Selamat Hari Raya
I don't mean to be a buzz kill. Having said that, you know it is going to be a buzz kill, a complete spoiler and a distasteful commment. Try not to take it that way though. This is just something I noticed, I noticed that its more about culture, tradition and hereditary.
Entangled Web
The old man was sitting opposite the younger man at the dining table having their breakfast. I myself was seated nearby, also eating what they were having. At first, I was merely having a normal breakfast, trying to finish up the uninteresting overcooked scrambled eggs on my plate. The old man then started talking to the younger one; I noticed something odd with the old man with the way he was addressing the younger man. He was talking in a normal tone to the younger man but at the same time it seemed like he was trying to pressure the young man with discomfort and uneasiness.
Maybe I was being too sensitive and touchy but I remember eyeing the old man feeling agitated. I was now looking at his frown and noticing the pain behind his eyes, immediately the notion that I could I identify with the old man came over me. I should probably call the old man by a name, it only seems appropriate; let’s call the old man Dol. And then I got to thinking that I and Dol, We were not that different. As I looked at his old aging face I couldn’t help but also notice that the hair on his head was almost all white.
Dol kept on staring at the younger man and I was at Dol; he only shifted his eyes slightly when the young man took notice. However the younger man was totally oblivious to what was going on. Let’s call this particular young man, Uth. Dol, looked like he was a battle with himself trying really hard to suppress whatever it is that was going through inside him, he started to put his focus on the food he was eating instead of persisting on glaring at Uth.
Now then, a little on Uth, Uth was a young man who once you set eyes on him…once you set eyes on him you can’t help but instantly notice how incredibly handsome and how perfectly molded of a specimen he was. He was the type of person, who attained everything he wanted. Uth was a smooth talker and had the confidence of skyscrapers but he didn’t really had to sweet talk to get what he wanted. A smile was sufficient.
However this made him insensitive and inconsiderate towards others. He had the tendency to blurt out awful degrading comments and was often too fond to boast about how good and smart he was in manipulating people. I myself didn’t have anything personal against him and saw it as his search for identity and a phase his young mind was going through.
Surely with good looks, good fortune and the ignorance of living a difficult life would lead to such consequences.
It got annoying though when he started talking about the girls he been with and started to show pictures of them. But it didn’t bother me as much as it did the old man I suppose. I was actually quite impressed looking at his trophies and tokens that he didn’t hesitate to flaunt. I’ve been out with Uth plenty of times and it was amusing to see and compare Uth to other guys. Other guys put a ton of effort and do a whole lot of special things to get into a girl’s heart. Uth just had to be present and he had them in his grasp. I often smiled when I saw how other men looked at him with envy and some with anger.
Dol on the other hand, said to me that despite his years of living, half of the things mentioned by Uth were completely foreign to Dol. To add to Dol’s misery, Uth who was young enough to be his son; Uth had properties and had done things that Dol still haven’t done and will probably never have. And all that Uth procured with little trouble. It was only obvious that Uth was not aware of the tension and bitterness flowing around him. Uth was from a different generation and his parents were quite well off. To him it seemed normal and was his birth right to own these luxuries.
I planted my eyes on Dol now, I saw myself in him, he had pain, remorse and dissatisfaction I turned my gaze at Uth now, I thought that I also saw myself in him, he had oblivion, ignorance, arrogance and a hint of happiness in him.
The old man looked weary, with not much fight left in him. His voice was hoarse and like all old people he was cranky. I felt disgust enveloping me, I soon found myself taking fault at Dol’s immaturity. Though I could identify with him, doesn’t mean he had a reason to express his anger towards another.
Immediately a thought came to me, am I being disrespectful to the elderly? Yes, I was. But doing so without showing does not count, right? Knowledge and wisdom earns respect. Old age are deserving of respect. I do agree with that, just not a 100 percent, maybe 80 percent. It is not easy respecting someone evil or someone who thinks that they’re good and delude themselves by doing good deeds in return to be stereotyped as a good godly person.
But fear and fret not old man, the young man though not yet introduced to the disparities and the unfairness of life; life has its way on, corrupting one’s mind. In most cases they’re already confused and unaware hedonists. Some are delusional and deluded enough into believing the most absurd things. For this I constantly feel timid, weak and constantly in awe at the capability of the mind. Besides nothing lasts forever, he will eventually age and his glory days will eventually come to an end. I was conversing with the old man, Dol in my head.
An uneasy emotion ran through me, something wasn’t right. A few seconds later, a distant sound of metal clattering was to be heard, I stretched forward and set my eyes on the gate in front. Someone familiar was opening the gate, more relatives! I groaned. One of the younger ones were Opening the gates to make way for their cars to get in, there were two. Great, I sighed and climbed upstairs.
As soon as they settled in, the chattering commenced. Their overwhelming presence was evidently felt and I could literally feel the lessening of breathing air in the house; I decided to go out for a walk. I walked past them smiling meekly whilst cursing inside.
I enjoy slow walks; they have the ability in making me feel alive. Although the air wasn’t clean, the atmosphere was still good and walking slowly obviously made the world appear less hasty. Nearly 10 minutes passed by, I was still walking at the side of the road until I suddenly noticed something and came to an abrupt stop. I was in a state of delirium. Was I dreaming? I moved my toes hidden in my shoes, slapping myself would’ve appeared too obvious and highly exaggerated.
Guided by the bright sunlight, an angel descended from the heavens above. Of course I knew straightaway she was the one or perhaps that’s what I wanted to think. But I wasn’t really thinking, you know. Nevertheless, I was dedicated and had to make sure not to let her slip away.
I walked patiently towards her and established conversation…I always liked the word ‘establish’ it gives one the impression of something accomplished or something successfully built.
Back to the topic, she was well spoken, well mannered, so gentle and observant. I figured all that whilst speaking to her and at the same time forming an opinion. She was obviously taught well in mannerism and on social skills. I on the other hand was extremely clouded and the decisions I made were hugely influenced by the way she looked. She was so beautiful that I wanted to confess and express the love that I felt for her, of course I didn’t.
To my liking and to your surprise, it went well. How often do you (I) get to make good conversations with an extremely good looking person, who is not too dumb or too shallow? This gave me hope, high hopes!
Once again to your surprise, we made arrangements to meet again. I was floating with ecstasy, my mind affected by mushy feelings. She was noble as she was pretty, her beliefs and opinions remarkably piety. I was surprised, I was shocked, I felt as if I’ve just dug out and discovered the world’s most exquisite treasure. I became obsessed with her, I wanted to know and learn all about her, and I plastered myself in her presence.
And so I began to learn, despite not being able to keep a level head, I noticed little things like how her actions contradicted with her remarks and on how she was obsessed with her beauty and on preserving it. But as it is no secret, I was in a trance I was demeaned to this sickly one sided love. My extravagant fascination, shooed away any incoming thoughts that disagreed with my passion and the way I felt for her.
On our second outing out, she asked me on what I do for a living and questions regarding my stability. Of course she didn’t ask that straight away, but her questions were formed in such a way, just more delicate and unsuspecting. I got the hint though and answered: I was a laborer, a weak creature dependant on many things. I am frail, insignificant, a normal human. The only stability that I can be sure of is on my instability. Of course it was dramatized, maybe even philosophized though completely true if thought about. But I was curious as to see how she’d respond.
Amazed was I when I witnessed a glint in her eye, unexpected and unlike the angel I bragged I knew. That is a sign, a bad sign I heard myself saying. Before I could rephrase or laugh off what I just said. She looked at me, her eyes as if pitying me, she smirked a little and smilingly said goodbye. She walked away! I raised my arm signaling her to stop.
My heart now broken into several pieces, as I clasped them in my hands, I looked down at them, they seemed impossible to mend. I wished I had then the benefit of doubt, a backup plan for when things go wrong. I fell about 20 feet from ground without any mattress to support my fall, I fell hard.
A few days later I gradually started to recover from my high fever. I busied myself with mostly useless things. But I was being professional about it; no matter the method…we only want results!
A few more days later, as I was still in the midst of recovering and a little bored of video games, I decided on doing something healthy. I went for a walk, a walk that would be a painful one. As I was going about on my journey of self recuperate; to my surprise I saw Uth driving his mobile with the angel, the angel whom I once thought was mine, emitting her beauty to in the vicinity of her surroundings. They were both so beautiful, as much as I hated to admit they looked great together. I could’ve sworn they were releasing splendor as they made their way through.
I contemplated on dropping down and planting my fists on to the ground. But that seemed all overly acted and artificial. Instead I smiled embarrassed and impressed at the coming togetherness of two material creatures. Both meant for each other, the kings and queens of the world.
I could see my transparent thoughts, how foolish and naïve, how easily I fall into pot holes and traps. I see now how one’s tendency towards pleasure can ruin a whole night and let the consequences follow up to next morning.
The next morning, I was seated beside the old man opposite to Uth. The old man didn’t look angry, but he was making me angry. He wasn’t looking at Uth but at me, smiling and amused. He was observing my discomfort and obviously enjoying it. I tried to ignore Dol and was too engrossed in eyeing Uth sharply with envy and the growing of low self esteem. But his glare was too much to bear, ‘Let’s hope I don’t end up old and bitter like you, Dol’. I stated and I meant what I said coming back to my senses.
Dol studied me for a while, and almost apologetically whispered to me, ‘did he steal your girl too?’ at first I couldn’t muster nor digest his words. Too disturbed and confused with what I just heard. I decided that it was time to go out for a walk.
Gnarles Barkley/ Chris Mills
This here is a powerful video; creative, original and i guess most people can relate to.Ought to be considered as one of the few brilliant video clips ever made. As for getting heart broken, i am sure it works both ways...you break peoples heart and at times get your heart broken. Circle of life, or something like that...yea? no? hehe
'Man'ifesto
The desires and urges innately instilled,
Every day it grows and demands for new thrills,
Given birth into societies that misinforms,
Fighting against it, like crossing strong tides.
To disregard the whispers that comes from within,
The head, the heart? Where-- its origin?
Urging and condoning the doing of bad things,
I look into myself, who is this person who says such things?
In facing the ocean, so faint in power,
Feeling the faint by just staring at the torrents,
So weak and tiny, so little and puny,
Regardless of that, I man am still ‘high and mighty’,
In a delusional state, this mind creates its own state.
To be nice to the un-nice,
And be kind to the unkind,
To look away from the inconsiderate and selfish,
To say no! To the things the self suggests,
No need to restrain the devils outside, for inside lies a living one,
I am my own evil, to tame it my endeavor.
To respect and accept,
To regard highly towards the lowly,
To refrain from looking at things appealing,
To avoid from hearing whispers that demeans,
To restrain from consuming vehemently,
To control the self painstakingly.
Living life in a wide thorny space,
Each step vulnerable and potential to harm,
An opportunity opens up and to seize it you shant!
In protecting the self from the self it is from,
As absurd as it sounds; my friends, insight can be found.
The dreams and desires, within the heart,
Been nurtured, from seeds now sprouted into trees,
Running it roots entangled deep,
A mighty opponent, prepared to triumph,
Constantly at war and disagreeing with all things,
A fight between the voices within.
To be kind to the unkind,
To smile in dire and remain calm,
To restrict and constraint,
To achieve and succeed, to overcome and supersede,
All of which remain stagnant and dreary,
For talk is easy, to be aware at all times, not so easy.
Care!
The old woman was seen crossing the road, with a blue colored umbrella in her left hand. The sun wasn’t being very nice either, it was ferocious, and it didn’t seem to care. The cars, buses, the heavy vehicles flooding the roads, they all gushed along and didn’t seem to care. The observant juvenile sitting at the bus stop, because he didn’t know where to wait, he at least thought he didn’t seem to care about what others might think--all the while witnessing the happenings around him.
Lewis Carol.
Review kot
I managed to finish yet another book. I don’t know why but every time I do, it appears like a big deal to me. It could be the lack of belief in myself or something else. Over the years I’ve read many books almost without prejudice, hence no matter whom the author or what the genre… I would be more than happy to read it—except for Tom Clancy’s or anything similar to that. In doing so I also developed interests in certain genres and writers. Today, however I only read materials that are either really entertaining, according to preferred genres or by authors who comes highly recommended or authors whom books I’ve read before.
I too have a penchant on reading books by Japanese authors such as Junichiro Tanizaki, Haruki Murakami and a few others. This one if I am not mistaken was the first of a Japanese woman author (Natsuo Kirino). Knowing that she authored a few other books that have won or at least been nominated at prestigious book awards increased my interest on wanting to read it.
If you’re familiar with Japanese books, the novels are normally written in the form of a memoir and are more than often deadly honest, either that or I just happen to read books such as that. The writers too appear Uncaring on what others might think. This to me is impressive.
Of Idiocy and Self Contradictory
I know this better than you!
Yes, as the title says, I am saying that I know better than you. Though knowing that you guys are just kids and most probably without the proper level of some might say intelligence, insight followed by the inability to comprehend something deeper than what your shallow/ one dimensional mind can muster. I am going out of my way and being thoughtful enough in sending out this message of understanding and realization.
Proclaiming, to proclaim, Worst still to self proclaim! In full earnest to self proclaim that one is a nice person is already revolting and a clear sign of one not being ‘nice’. How can a person categorize…or worse still a group of people putting themselves in the circle of this so called ‘nice guys’ movement?
Alright then, the main issue here being; feeling used and unappreciated or to put it more bluntly on not getting laid as often. If you allow yourself to be used, then why complain? Shut up and go on living like that. Think of it as an investment…who knows that one day your cruel intentions will pay off. After all being ‘nice’ comes down to getting in someone else’s pants as a reward. I am not even saying that you should be ashamed of yourself. I am neither saying nor even to remotely give the slightest inclination that I am a nice person. All I am saying that it is not nice.
However I am going to say this, if one does something with a clear conscience with pure intentions, one will not complain off being used, logical enough?
Who are you trying to kid with such resentments, disappointments as an effect, resulted to this burst of emotions…emotions filled with anger, if not yourself? A fuming expression on not getting laid or being paid with the outcome that u have time and time again pictured in your head. I am not saying that I don’t do that…I am just saying that it’s not nice.
There are nice guys, nice people in this world but almost no one is constantly in the ‘nice mode’ for one to be always nice at all times, is illogical. Because a person before doing something or acting on anything will refer to the self and on what it has to gain, unless that one is selfless.
Although I might agree with your shallow, biased definition of ‘nice’, the correct meanings of the word, ‘nice’ are: pleasing, agreeable, delightful, amiably pleasant etc.
If you think that you’re being used, then don’t get used to being used. Helping a friend with the intention of eventually getting into her pants is not nice. I am not saying that I have anything against that or against you; I am just saying that it’s not nice.
Speaking of girls, we all know…heck even girls know that they’re fully capable and can be as much as a jerk than guys are. Where’s the shocking element in what I just said?
Today, there are many fields, industries, occupation and many subjects in which girls or the feminist movement wishes to be on par with or better than guys, well girls…. You can be equally or even more of an impressive jerk than we jerks can. I am not sure whether that’s a good thing though.
Sure methodically you guys are more subtle and your delicateness deludes us males who are often dumb when facing your entirety.
On a more personal note, since we are on the subject, I too have something to express on; I realized that when watching movies, movies based on a true story. The cool, savvy, heroes whom I adore will eventually be brought down by women. It just pisses me off to see that in the movies! And indirectly put unhealthy thoughts in my mind.
Furthermore I am also guessing that it is only natural for a guy to be tangled up with a women one minute and drop down dead the next, some of you guys would be going, ‘tell us something we don’t already know.’ But it’s just sad witnessing it time and time again. Although silently knowing that men, no matter what happens will still fall for the same obvious trick countless times when it involves a woman. All I am saying that if a guy is really nice, he wouldn’t fall for that. Hence that too proves of your un-niceness! Here’s a well established proverb, “A man’s test in life is woman; a woman test in life is material.” (Girls, this doesn’t mean I like u any lesser! ;))
Coming back to the initial subject, going about and complaining about how nice of a person you think you are and having your ‘nice friends’ agreeing with you is just utterly sad and almost pathetic, almost sickening, nauseating and definitely not nice! It is so un-nice that it even brings out the evil in others.
Finally being nice is not the equivalent of being stupid. An idiot is an idiot. I am also not saying that I am not an idiot. Having said all that I have, I am also going to say that I have nothing against you people. I just have something against people in general. Stop thinking that you’re nice be more honest with yourselves and you don’t have to be nice all the time, not that you can.
I know this better than you!
The Caterpillar
Metamorphosis; to transform or to change, like a cocoon waiting in vain, longing to break out the shelter that engulfs. For why does it take a lifetime in comparison? And when it finally does, everyone else has grownup into colorful creatures, with wings that takes them to various places. To plan out and experience the universe’s provident. The news then came hitting the caterpillar in the head, to remain a caterpillar for one more day in God’s eye. This, the equivalence to a thousand years in the caterpillar’s eye.
To Dream
He asked himself, why bother scribing when nobody heeds. Too deep, too heavy, not something we want to read, an inability to come to terms, nay to comprehend. His works structured, filled with messages. But the self curled up, loathing and harboring ill thoughts, wretched and losing, sulking in a lost dimension… waiting for a bright door ajar, beckoning him to loom in.
Had I fail, have I failed, failed I have in taming the evil within, a sin who’s goal to come to impress, to amaze and astonish others. Then say, I shant fall neither succumb to the becoming of life akin to making an impression of men. Surely this wickedness of the human desire ought to be tamed and disciplined.
An antidote for the mind wanderer, to escape from the crooked formalities, for the worst kinds wears a remarkable attire; to jealous and impress the aspiring dreamers. Injustice and inequality, a race within these elitist; superior in many ways, putting fear in so many races.
The mind wanderer besieges not the soul of mankind, for he thinks unlike the suits, more selfless and less worldly, a fight that seems alone and crazy.
They proclaim, Justice will come in time of injustice, for things that prevails, eventually perish such are the laws of the world in history.
The self waiting, the heart knowing, the mind begins to reveal its prowess, the time has come, Awaken thy! Who awaited so long. In a new light where answers are definite, a pathway unraveling, a journey of joy devoid solitary, meaningful and purposeful, filling emptiness with profound and wisdom.
A Tribute
There comes a time
When we head a certain callWhen the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
We can't go on
Pretneding day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
Originally i didn't want to write anything because i didn't really feel like talking erm writing. But then 'your video will appear here when finished' tak finish-finish lagi. I had to wait like more than an hour and counting for this vid to upload. Like seriously? now i am starting to question whether is this clip really worth all the hassle?
Anyhoo this would be the clip which should probably remind me of apart from being good, about the time when i was at work when everyone else were sleeping at home. This is gonna be a long night(I wrote that an hour ago) huhu. This darn vid better appear! or else i'd have to go to the same process of waiting and hoping and who knows how much longer i would go on rambling. Oh it's done. Okay this sucks, tgh processing pulak...one would think that i am at work at this hour, i should be busy with work...well i am just not right now or for the past hour or so. Let's just say that i am good at multi tasking.
i am seriously considering to write a depressing poem now...but then this wouldn't be appropriate or the right time for that. I can see the glum, exhausted face on my boss man.
Ohh, yesterday was my mom's birthday and i gave her an orange and the dental floss that she bought for me, mainly because i was busy and exhausted hence i kinda forgot abt it. My bro on the other hand bought pizzas and a ring for her. Well the thing about being a spoiled brat is you'll still be the favorite haha. Okay this is not good...i shudnt be exposing these stuff...i am gonna hit 'publish post' now...i think dah boleh hoho
p.s. Depape is a real helper at work! depape sooo good~ haha
Therapeutics
There he laid, on the green covered ground, there was a grin plastered on his face. His eyes were glimmering without worry. He took in the scent of the fresh air; he did this almost delicately and slowly. His chest rising and going back down gradually and his eyes closed and re-opened as he did so, taking in the sensation. The atmosphere around him unpolluted and undaunted. Adam was in one of his self-therapy sessions. The power of the mind he said often, ‘immense’.
Adam unlike the normal man lived in a cage akin to a bird’s cage only vastly larger. There were others too like you and I, but oddly enough they seem to roam free and reach places he never had, could. These made him envious and question a lot of things. But his seemingly adverse fate also made him into an avid thinker, a questioner, a doubter, a contemplator who contemplates when others bother not to. His questioning nature turned him into a formidable person. He was quite wise and flexible in his mind. He learned and experienced many things to the extent that not many things could surprise him.
However his thoughts were being infiltrated by things un-calmly and unnecessary at that time.
He suddenly realized his calmness fading, his therapy session is being disrupted by interfering thoughts and by a snap into reality; Adam was anxious in wanting to get rid of his current frame of mind. He got so angry that he stood up and got into a frenzy. He had a pained look in his face, no longer filled with calmness but the contrary and his hands and legs were starting to shake. He started punching his face frantically and then after a few seconds inhaled and exhaled letting the flow of air in and out. He started to calm down; he now dropped down and lay on the carpet of grass. There was once again a smile on his face. His feeling of despair was replaced by something else. He now had something else to focus on now.
Once again, alone without interfering thoughts, he resumed his session. But this time his concentration didn’t last for long, it was spoiled by the sound of approaching footsteps he could hear amidst the quiet of his surroundings disturbing his indulgence that he was having with himself. Adam without getting up turned his head towards the sound of the footsteps. He noticed an old man approaching him. Both now eyeing each other as their distant grew closer but without any immediate response whatsoever. The old man as he stood less than a foot away from Adam sat down beside him where he was still laying.
There was a sense of familiarity between the two. Both remained quiet for what seemed more than 5 minutes. Then out of the blue, “What is the purpose of my existence? When everyday I wake up this life that is full of miseries, that denies me from revealing its mysteries.” Adam eyed him sharply for a bit but paid him no heed; he resumed looking at the skies where he could see the make out the outline of the metals from the cage that confined him.
“What is this life? Suffocating, complex, entrapping and un-answering, like living a life in a huge maze; is the purpose of my living to experience pain that never cease to perish?” Adam looked at him again but this time had a look of agitation on his face. He shouted, WHAT are you tr… that was the only words he managed to say before the old man cut him off and said to him, “but these are not my words, these are yours. I am merely conjuring up your subconscious, so that you can hear for yourself.”
After a few passing moment, Adam without looking at the man said, really? Well I am glad you know how I feel then. But how would you know my state of subconscious ness when even I don’t have the slightest clue? Said Adam without looking at him “But you do” replied the old man. There was then another moment of stillness where both people not only did not utter a word but remained unmoved like statues.
Mind games, he muttered in his breath.
During this time, Adam now was starting to become aware of something. He was feeling more surprised than before as he was again hearing approaching footsteps heading his way. I wonder who it’ll be this time he said to himself and checked whether the old man was still sitting beside him. He was, the old man was staring at the remote mountains and appeared to be in awe.
Adam then glanced to the source of the footsteps, to his surprise it was a young woman. The first thing that Adam noticed about her was she was in a bright red woolen hooded coat. She had black hair and a very fair complexion. Adam started to realize that he was starting to get attracted to her already. As she neared them she looked at Adam and shrieked, “I am your father!” she then like the old man clarified, “those are not my words, most probably yours.” She then proceeded to sit right next to him. Adam was now lying in the middle of these two people. She brought with her a basket filled with food, drinks and candies. They were all now eating. None of them were invited to but it was as if they had a similar thoughts/ mutual understanding.
Adam took a slice of bread and started to munch on it. It was soft and delicious. All three ate very slowly and seemed like they were trying to feel every single sensation with each bite.
Adam paused and realized; he was starting to enjoy himself. He thought that maybe this too can work as a therapy. And why is that I know what is real but not revealed to me what is real? He spoke suddenly.
Circumstances without opportunities nay choices, ill content perhaps. Surely Not content, inconsistent, unfair and unhappy. This results to a sad being. I didn’t grow up to become this adult. Nay, no I am not delusional enough to mistake earth from heaven. Indeed weak and frail, lacking a cause. Where betrayal and tyrannical goes hand in hand.
Dramatic, paranoid, this neither an exaggeration or made to appear so. It was noted, notified, taken into account for what else would’ve been produced from an unhealthy childhood if not a man of such.
“My-my now aren’t we a major wrecker for good moments?” said the girl. She sounded neutral but she looked rather weary, annoyed of her mood being spoiled. The old man just smiled or sighed, it was difficult to pay attention to him. As the girl in red was dropped her hood and was eyeing him.
There were no sound of approaching footsteps but it came from right in front of him and there was nobody too. But indeed there was a brick, a perfectly fresh orange brick flying in the air and CRACK was the sound when it methodically and delicately hit Adam’s skull.
The girl waited for a few moments and seeing that he was starting to drip took out a handkerchief from one of her pockets in her red coat and carefully started to mend the wound. The old man took some kind of ailment and offered it to the girl.
“My-my how peculiar and shocking” she said with an obviously pretentious tone. It also seemed as if she was intentionally trying to sound that way.
Why not one of you? I questioned. “It was meant for you.” Both stated matter of factly.
Her handkerchief was soft, not too thin and produced an odor that serenaded the mind. And her touches; so womanly, delicate and gave the impression that she cared. Although it was just his imagination, he could tell.
She spoke as she took care of the wound. “The absence of meaning, the absent of the essence of life, devoid a sense of direction, each day seems more intertwined.
Like a bird in a cage, a man with no brains, an unavailing compass, and a blind tour guide. All seems hopeless when the road in front unclear to the eyes. Staying set in shackles, trapped, forbidden and unable to unveil.”
The old man was still staring in front of him and appeared to be caught up in his own thoughts. Adam looked at him; I started to think that it could be that he is just trying to appear so all these mind games, as if knowing how one would react. It was irritating me. So I said to him, are you just going to sit there and not say anything to what she just said? Adam asked.
He looked at me and said, “Those are not my words. It may also be that it wasn’t her, nor yours” And gave out a short grin knowingly knowing how that might annoy me.
I wasn’t going to fall for that, so I focused on not giving into what they might’ve assumed on how I would react, Adam thought. He took some candies from the basket and chewed on them hastily. Not making any attempt to take in the pleasure that emitted from my taste buds. The girl and the old man looked a little grim by His actions.
He looked at her and noticed her cheeks were slightly pinkish and also realizing that she had all the right curves at all the right places. “Alluring, tempting, mind boggling” she said. Adam looked at her dumbfounded and she knowingly said, “Most probably, not gonna happen” I should be careful with the things I think, he thought and she nodded.
Adam remained quiet, embarrassed of what just happened. The girl continued to chew slowly and the old man looked like he was getting sleepy.
“Do you want to hear something?” she asked
I thought that it was better than all of us being quiet and caught up in our thoughts, so I replied, sure go ahead.
“Yesterday I met some friends and one of them said to me something I found absurd, let me make my way of conveying more interesting” with that she cleared her throat and began:
“A friend of mine,
Had information of a news,
Shocked was I, to hear of a feat,
For women being the reason for living,
Said as if a revelation received from the heavens,
Slow, uninformed, shallow and dumb?
A man’s test being a woman,
A woman’s test being material,
Beyond that aren’t we, no?
The basic of questions,
Probably the most revealing,
Apparent, obvious, evident and observable,
Lived for so long and it took you so long,
To muster something so pubescent,
Unfathomable, deeper and much wider,
The meaning and the mysteries of life,
Than women being the cause for living.”
The old man then suddenly out of his quiet streak and as if taking the baton from the girl said, “I don’t like good-looking women, woman called beautiful disgusts me, after all none of us men are more than a sack of shit.”
That’s interesting I said, didn’t know you would say something like that.
“But I am not done yet, he told me”
Well by all means go on then, I said
“I have something to say too, and I too would rather make it more interesting by means of saying.”
With that he started:
“Oh wretched life, mean and unkind,
Once peace settles in, I forget your kind,
Rare and remote, far and secluded,
Chasing and searching,
Looking and hoping,
Constantly seeking, for a better meaning.
The wretched and the wicked,
Anguished and the weakened,
Stripped off of honor and chastity,
Awaiting for a time of changes and transformation,
Touched and awakened,
The truth has been spoken,
So calm and serene, a time for rectifying
Mind staying avid, until the next deceit,
The message underlying, the mortal so forgetting,
For temporal excitement, he puts himself in dire,
Short time of pleasure, leads to error, led to a lifetime of terror,
One thing led to another, condition becomes severe,
Superficiality, having abandoned intelligence,
It lives life, an animal existence,
Mindless and self-centered
What other than Prisoners of desire.”
Adam thought for a little of what he just said, the old man now joined the girl. Both of them were eating of what still remained in the basket. They looked at him staring at them. Both of them started eyeing me back and the old man after intensely looking at me said, “Your turn”.
Adam stood up without thinking and started walking away from them. He walked till he reached a few feet away turned and said, later guys; it was nice seeing you today. Peace be upon the both of you. “Yes, like you can walk away from us. We’ll see you later then.” She added.
