Fast Moving World

Fast moving world, fast moving world, what do I earn from you fast moving world? Without the right feelings, direction and guidance fast moving world… I see things changing, evolving and some disappearing fast moving world. Is it just me or are you spinning faster and faster each day. Every day now, I seem to be feeling more aged and older fast moving world.

My teachers, they tell me how to face you fast moving world, they tell me to ignore most of you, I tell them how can I avoid you when I am within you? They then express their thoughts by shaking their heads. He then said, we are people who are more concerned of the soul than the physical world, pay not too much heed to this fast moving world.

High rise buildings in the fast moving world, I see green trees replaced by million dollar houses, you have turned people into a new hybrid slave, you have turned humanity into profit thriving inhabitants. We all love money and fame, mostly we love you fast moving world. You seem, like you’re here and we here to remain forever!

 What is in plan for you, fast moving world? I best fasten my seatbelts fast moving world. You seem more likely to bring about a bad future fast moving world, when all of us are unaware and unconscious fast moving world?

 I was young and now I am supposed to bring about my own young, fast moving world, why? Fast moving world, jailed and imprisoned in this fast moving world, my teachers tell me to ignore most of you fast moving world, my teachers have honed their souls, fast moving world, they don’t fall for your traps fast moving world or should I say false moving world? My teachers have tried and gained victory over you fast moving world. They live in this fast moving world without playing into your rules fast moving world. How can we compare ourselves to the saints’ fast moving world? When we are weak with petty desires, weak with amusing splendors—glamour and shining armors.

 Fast moving world, fast moving world, how much faster are you going to speed yourself fast moving world? Pace yourself fast moving world! Fast moving world, I hope not to become your victim fast moving world. Fast moving world I don’t think I would want to fall for you fast moving world. Desire towards you transforms me into an unhappy being fast moving world, you make both my mind and physical weak with pointless burden and poisonous desires.

I am fighting against myself over all your wonders fast moving world though it seems like I am failing fast moving world, though I keep succumbing to your magnificence and to the hope that you may bring if I am in possession of you fast moving world. I shall not reduce myself into loving you.

 Everyone else, well no one can be bothered each in his fast moving world with his selfish, fast moving dreams and fantasies. All wishes to be a king of you fast moving world, what will be your end game fast moving world? What will be my ending fast moving world?

old&cold

It is cold, why is it so cold? The warmth of accompaniment could maybe remove this cold.  These clothes are old; they’re worn out almost torn as the skin shrivels, as he remains conscious thinking how cold it is and how cold of a person it is making him inside. “Begone! Begone! He muttered to the self”. The man continues to experience coldness, the books dampened, some dried and yellowed, ripped and shattered. The stomach growls haughtily, angry and incessantly demands nurturing. How about some charcoals maybe even some wool? While all is dull, all else is having a ball; while all is having a ball, all is in a ball where struggle is just at the corner by the wall. All dressed in glamour and covered up by a drunken stupor, resisting, disallowing emptiness to enter. 

 All is well when there’s detachment at every stall. Silverwares and gold, encapsuling our goals, driven by ghouls. Relax, don’t howl, there is no need to throw in the towel. They said, you ought to be bold, to capture what you’ve been told, put it on hold, don’t listen to what you’re told, to the old people who are brainwashed by gold, they move to what they’ve been told. As usual, they remain unreliable. Worldly people always in denial, their actions always menial, soon the very people they please will come to disgrace, all these diseases will come to cease, none will continue to exist. The people we follow are none other than our desires who always demands to be pleased.

So cold, where are the trees and the flowers and the cool of the breezes, which brings calmth and peace in life?

The girl mesmerizing the world as she walks by gracefully, he is told of her and goes to witness her only to return sold. His soul is hers. At least for a few minutes, at least until he lays foot on ground again. The girl lived happy and gracefully until she felt like giving man a chance to vanquish all curiosity; then she turned ugly and from that day on, she graced the earth with all kind of doubts and disbeliefs.

Content, satisfaction not just mere imagination, means to salvation not just an invention. Wisdom an accomplishment, derived from sincerity, humility and intelligence. How many possesses wisdom, what is wisdom?

The 'Poor'

If I had a dream, a new year’s resolution, I would want to dream of a time and a place where the poor would be comfortably poor. I would also like to dream of a time where the poor would be intellectually and spiritually rich. This would be a world where strong bonds would be established amongst the poor. A bond and loyalty that is strong enough, that trust would be strong and unity will be formed. When the poor stop dreaming of achieving richness. If such a time were to come, the rich will not be able to mistreat them, walk over them, discriminate against them, look down at them and control them. Again, if only the poor would stop having high hopes of becoming as rich as the ones who mistreat them… perhaps then things would be different. A community of poor people for the poor people; where education and healthcare is free. If only diseases such as greed and jealousy were easy to overcome. I dream of a day where every child would be informed, educated, healthy and strong. I continue to dream. The people continue to dream, they dream of success in the form a mansion, big houses and white people in white dresses cheerfully smiling from their castles. Thinking that they too would one day achieve richness and attain happiness similar to the fairy tales they’ve had in their mind since a tender age.

If only people would find joy in reading, the wonders one could discover. The ideas they could extract and the livelihood they could explore…If only people would read, they could exemplify the prophets and the saints.

 I know it’s silly but I dream of a poor nation where man prefers his brother over himself. They feed one another. They work for each other. I can go on and on…you get the idea right? How does one attain purity of heart in order for his actions to be of purity? We all worship ourselves, we are slaves to our desires. I dream of a world where man becomes a man of such level that he becomes a master over his desires. His desires are selfless, his wisdom is boundless and his faith as strong as the companions.

I dream of a world, when the word ‘poor’ is mentioned the picture that would come to mind is a man with all the wealth in the world but no kindness in his eyes. 

Age

As the world continues in its rotation

Inhabitants too continue to age within their own rotation

Alas! None of us become sages

Instead we become lost in so many stages

We age into something delirious.

In our poisoned state,

We poison the mind of the young

They too become,

A person that is strange and precarious

He doesn’t know himself nor does he know others

He cares not for himself nor does he care for others

His desires becomes his insight

His insides becomes disastrous

Derailed, paranoid and constantly in fear

Though we continue to turn the pages

Into our own ruins we seem to be running

My friends they all leave to find, well mostly better wages

My good friends let us not severe kinship but persevere friendship

My relatives’ one at a time perished and forgotten

I keep thinking in what state will I perish and be forgotten?

All ultimately with their own goals

Mainly money,

Money to materialize the happiness it harbours

When the age is still ripe

I plan to make it right

One hopes to head towards the light

Remain with the aright and hold firm to the rope of The Absolute Ruler

Sends

Keep relying on your senses when you know your senses often omit little sense. Close to an hour left…a long awaited for weekend. The upcoming holidays, plentiful of hopeful promises, of ease and continual peace; no chaotic conundrums in the head to constrain—Useless are these thoughts, troubling the self with troublesome thoughts just playing them over and over again. How detrimental, redundant and suffocating; are these thoughts.

These days, if one has noticed, yours truly does not like to post bitter, bringing the self-down posts.  As usual, at first it was just seeping out emotions till today this particular emotion is somewhat in everlasting abundance as it was even from before. The disease engulfs one’s thinking, decision making and perception. He tries hard yet it is him and he is it…or something to that affect. Stuck and stagnant; stuck in a sea with motion sickness, sickness in motion—sickened emotions.

Worries what a worry! What is in the future and what is in planning for the future? Circle of life, the way things work, preparations, expectations…where is this acceptance? Contentment, gratefulness, satiated, fulfilled. Love and loved.

Emptiness, a churning, distasteful, a twist of fate. Fatigue. The soul, sold and it gets confused with the transaction, isn’t this the right path? It cried. The sleep, the wake, the fatigue, the dissatisfaction, the ungrateful, the discontent. But-but when distasteful hits you’re supposed to smile and show happiness when the pangs of love are absent. Can we come to some kind of terms? Going in the morning, coming back in the evening. The days become years, the life becomes old, yet the void still grows, there is still not enough money.

Instill in me enough love so we don’t appear unruly, even when someone is discontent or someone who transgress against his the ways of traditions? Instill in me pretentiousness, so we may pretend that this is the path one straight path one embarks, for a better future they say, to put food on the table as we say. We shouldn’t sway when slaves should slave. Obtain a car, a house and stability and then a father hands his daughter to be wed. Now that there is a car, a house and stability and a few debts lingering for a few solid years... To holy matrimony.

Look at beauty and look at the good things when nearer are the ugly and the unjust. Can it be left ignored, untouched, remain un-noticed?

Come on, let’s continue to rely on our limited, lying senses. Where one day we sense this and the next we sense what sense didn’t make sense. Go on keep on relying on your senses when at this wake you are sure of your senses and the next you make a mockery of the senses. How is this consensus?

Go on, keep on lying and say everything is moving ahead. To where is this journey embarking. We are all dying, this is all too overwhelming, and what will the outcome of this journey? Am I over-thinking or just merely barking? What a nuisance over-thinking when there is no power in constraining the blinking…I meant the blinking of the eyes.  Reassuring, stabilizing, having plan B’s and insurance a pretence for assurance.

There are countries at wars and their concern has plummeted to just keeping the eyes alive. Here in a Peaceful country we go to war in the morning facing traffic jams and each in his tank, each in a constrain, each conceited, their only care is about the self the rest can thread in hell. He is the only one with a family to survive; his is the only one with love. Others…meh. 

And after spending some half a century working and obtaining and gaining and buying and living and experiencing all sorts of pleasure. He then looks for something permanent, something that will appease spiritually something more permanent a little more pertinent. Though his habits are too strong, he is used to buying peace and till the end of his time. He keeps on looking for things that will please and so he needs to work hard to obtain another piece.

The hour is up, it is time to sulk in the weekend or so the senses believe.

Sakimore no Uta

Here is another one by Sada Masahi. It is actually a song he sang I am thinking in relation to the Japanese war. Though I found it amazing, I didn't quite like the ending. I was under the impression or wanted to think that what he conveyed was something rhetoric albeit difficult to accept or something along that line and that the poem's direction was more towards the self contemplating and understanding, not about nationalism. Nonetheless, this is just really beautiful. I wish I could write like this.

Please tell me

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

How about the wind?

Is the sky the same?

Please tell me…

I, sometimes,

Ponder upon the miseries of human lives,

Upon the sorrows

Which everybody will equally feel,

Upon the agony of live,

Upon the sorrow of growing old,

Upon the pain of illness,

Upon the misery of dying,

And upon my present self

Please answer me…

If every life of all existences in this world,

Has its own destiny,

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Like summer goes,

Like winter comes,

Must everything pass away?

Can I reckon…

On the twinkling of a tiny life,

Something like a faint hope

Which cannot be grasped by human words,

Some people are passing,

Others are coming,

A waning moon

Will be waxing again

In our everyday lives;

Please tell me…

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Is love mortal?

Is the human heart mortal?

Must everything including my beloved home country,

Pass away?

'Sonnet of a Clown'

I don't know if I have no time to write or that I have not been urging myself to write. However, I discovered this Japanese poet/singer called Sada Masahi. Here is piece by him I thought I'd share, seeing that it is preetty beautiful. I like it therefore i am posting it. I don't know about you but this is my kinda groove, or should I not use the word groove?

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


We go down the river

In a boat loaded with sadness

We go down the river

Going down the stream of time.

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your hands

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.


Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


And you'll see that your friends are walking along with you

Along the stream of time.

We are mountain climbers

Who head for our own peak

With heavy burden,

without even taking a breath

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your little arms.

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

And the time will come soon

When we all chat and laugh together

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

Sada Masashi

Unknown Number

Phone calls are surprising. I churn when I see the phone vibrating. What would this person want from me? a strange number, quite challenging; might be worth taking. Every time I end up regretting. Still I keep on picking and end up regretting. How could I not answer when it feels like someone is calling? Shouldn’t I write about something more interesting? But then the phone just rang twice, I picked it up and yes, it was not entertaining.

My attention went wavering, whilst I was doing something, whilst the phone became vibrating. I had to focus on the person calling, listening to people and responding to their queries, answering concisely. Sending the right messages, setting a proper voice tone as to not sound un-friendly or too friendly.

I was writing a more important piece one that required the mind and thinking. Hence I opt to write about something less important, these kinda things are easy and entertaining?

I cast a look at my phone, strange numbers, how thrilling. Strange number how appealing, strange numbers how un-amusing, strange numbers gives me mixed feelings. Though, today I had written about the phone ringing. That disrupted my fragile feelings, causing my attention now gone fleeing. I was writing about one thing and now I am writing about the phone ringing.

Speaking of which, at work, no matter how and where I hide, my bosses and colleagues are able to locate me. When the phone rings at work, I think to myself what have I not submitted? And then I think, I probably have to get involved in some form of communicating. NO! no more meetings. All I do is sit and try to look as if I am focusing. It’s always my bosses and my colleagues contributing their problems and making it mine. What kind of sleazy slave am I? Anyways, I cast an angry look at my phone, which looks so innocent and calm while its not ringing.

The time has come for me to enter the shower. On an ending note, strange numbers aren’t amusing. The next time I see a strange number, I am sure I will still answer the phone and who knows I would not end up regretting.

p.s. These days even the emails I get are frightening. Especially, when it is from the slave owners. They don’t really own me. As usual I was exaggerating. Duh (Why the explanation?!). Maybe I am being paranoid but these emails have caused some serious disturbance in me pursuing my normal routine of  peace and laziness. Oh life! Ha-ha.

Poor as a peasant
Shallow as a rich person.

Oh Dunya!

One day I woke up and then I stood up and then I walked around, I stooped, fell and I got up and towards the end of the day, I found a poem ready to be posted up.

Oh dunya!

You narrate and plot,

You have deceived and continue to deceive

With all kinds of mischief’s

We appear in defeat

As a consequence of your misdeeds

In millions we have been deceased

And our numbers continues to increase

Our people live in scarcity and are malnourished

You think we will cease to exist

You think we will soon perish

You want us to be afraid to live and co-exist

Oh dunya!

In a world conquered by injustice

When a people fight for justice

You label them terrorists

You then hunt and kill these terrorists

Oh dunya!

The kings and queens who reigns the world

All the money in the world

All the things you’ve acquired

All the happiness you’ve captured

Has it amount to any amount of happiness or contentment?

Only more diseased, your deceased heart is

Oh dunya!

Can’t you see?! Don’t you read your history?!

The pharaohs, the kings, the conquerors,

They were all evil doers

It is the tradition of the rich and wealthy

The habit of the powerful and mighty

Who are prone to misdeeds and tyranny

Oh dunya!

Our saints and our leaders

When the world was offered to them

The rejected and chose to live in simplicity

Don’t you see?

All the prophets and the saints,

Most of them lived in simplicity

The best of them lived in simplicity

Oh dunya!

Your respect is only for the rich and mighty,

Open you eyes and contemplate!

Alas! The eyes of the heart have been dead

Taken over by greed and wealth

How can you see?!

All you think of is buying new objects

That you hope will fill the void in you existing

Oh dunya!

Yes, we are being oppressed

We are being called terrorists and terrorized in the name of terrorism

Nevertheless, We are ready with our white kerchiefs

Our weapons, faith and sincerity!

Keep your world, divide and conquer!

Look at our elders and forefathers!

Don’t you learn?

We show no fear, only love for the Creator

Oh dunya!

Though we are sinners and weak in obedience

We still strife to become better believers

You have waken us up

You have made us stronger

You may erase me, my brothers even the whole world

Though, you will never be able to erase the footsteps of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH

His teachings are engraved in the hearts before, present and after

For even a sinner will gladly give his life for him

Such is the sinner who is mad in love for his beloved

Now think about the saints…

Oh dunya!

You don’t have to understand

Even when an insignificant man is deep in love

He doesn’t need for you to understand

Indeed we are mad

Mad with the love for God and his Messenger PBUH

Fri31.Aug12

The heart in the sty

Yet it hearts to head towards the sky

His appearance emanates a handsome light

Yet the mirror reflects an ugly side

A churning coincide

A battle, subtle from the front side

Detrimental from other sides

Tremors, shaking, and mocking coincides

Trapped within his own desires

He flutters around the fire

All his efforts seems in dire

His weaknesses grows

The heart bleeds

As his bad deed increases

His soul depletes

He repents in such a way his kind is limited to

Everyday he sins and he repents

Such is the lowly human

Slave to his passions

Unlike his elders and the elders of his elders

They seem to live in peaceful gardens

Although around them lies toughness and difficulties ready to engulf em

They seem calm akin to living in a peaceful garden

The First Rain, The Last Rain

It rains outside though inside, there is water shortage. The tap merely produces a few drops of water. This is irritating and oddly enough brings about the feeling of helplessness.

It is also funny that the introduction above apart from the feeling of helplessness has nothing to do with what I have planned to write. Whether I am able to write about what I came to write about or not, we shall come to know...

The norm is during the weekdays I travel by motorcycle and during the weekends due to different circumstances puts me in a situation where I have to use the car. My purpose of saying this is to somewhat send out a not so subtle message indicating that I know what it is to be a motorcyclist and what it feels like to be a motorist, as in a car driver in case you feel lost or my choice of word fails to send out the right message as intended by yours truly.

In a more imaginative/immature view, if I could fly I wouldn’t use vehicles or even go close to roads covered by tar, no matter how fresh they’re. I have nothing against roads on the other hand road users make me want to denounce my being a human. If I were to choose to be a being that is not a human being…when I think about all the choices I have—I guess I am left with angel? Right now there are only a few ‘beings’ that comes to mind; animals, devil/s or angels.

On a more paranoid/realistic approach, every time I am on my motorbike I can’t help but think of the possibility of getting into some sort of ‘mishap’. In a nutshell I can’t help but blame car drivers. Simply because when I am on my bike I have this feeling that these car drivers are intentionally or mockingly trying to hit motorcyclists; maybe as a sign of letting off steam or showing off their precedence?

Words can’t express how much contempt (did I say contempt? I meant how much concern) I have against the selfishness and the self absorb-ness that is synonym to today’s people. Their main motto probably being, ‘no matter who I hurt, no matter what I have to do, as long as I made it others can go to hell’. This is what I think goes through the mind of today’s people… on second thoughts; imagine if this is the creed people hold onto?! Let us observe and interact with people or perhaps even have a conversation with yourself in front of the mirror? :p

On a broader scale, my fear of being on the road consequently makes men uncomfortable knowing that I am surrounded by people whose characteristic or even default personality being, ‘selfishness’.  I am no-where indicating that I am a selfless person or that people should be selfless saints or anything even close to that. I wouldn’t even dream of such a thing judging from the level of selflessness/compassion left in today’s human beings. I am just hoping that people won’t try to hit you when cross the road, or when you are on your motorbike and you’ve signaled and as you try to move your bike to one side you’d hope that the car behind you would not try to hit you. I am not even saying that if a blind person were to cross a road someone should take his hand and bring him to the other side of the road, I am just saying that when a blind person tries to cross the road, one wouldn’t try to run over him. The state of self-importance and selfishness sometimes makes me entertain the thought of living in a faraway land devoid of people. Though the thought amounts to nothing more than your average ‘day-dreaming’.

To me, the society is flawed; from the way it perceives success to how it sees what is socially acceptable. The society changes human beings into lesser human beings by failing in its ideology, ways and methods and in matters such as banking and education system, Perhaps the government should take some blame? Maybe diseases like greed and love of power are the result of what has befell the people.

When you think of happiness what do you think of? Your version of happiness of is an accumulated knowledge derived from? Storybooks? Parents? Movies? Mtv? Magazines?

Has anyone heard of John Nash? (The guy from ‘A beautiful mind’) who was depicted as an amazing person in the movie? He came up with this theory called the, ‘F**k you buddy’ theory. It is an ideology that depicts that all forms of human reaction and human behavior are hostile towards each other and that all people constantly study, observe and watch other people so that they can act on their self-interest and manipulate them. He believed that humans were mainly driven by selfishness and self-interest.

 The theory goes on, if everyone behaves selfishly and thinks solely for his own good then it might create stability, equilibrium. According to John Nash, the rational choice is always to betray the other person as to having no risk of failure. I hope you’re with me. In nash’s view whenever you trust someone you face the risk of losing something but if you betray that person then you might lost nothing. In short, everyone should be suspicious and distrustful of everyone and everything.

Having said that, people might have forgotten that John himself was a paranoia schizophrenic. His words, “You don’t want to admit that you’re crazy. You see other people as crazy but you like to think of yourself as not crazy..”

The reason I brought this theory up was in the midst of my being a pessimist I wanted to say that, if this theory were to put into test today…will it have worked as he had hoped? Oh! I forgot to mention that there was a study conducted to observe the pattern and to see the effectiveness of the theory when it was introduced; it failed drastically. Instead of betraying each other people trusted each other. One can only wonder if the same result will come into play in the present, exponentially/increasingly selfish world.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day, I was in the backseat of a car, on the way to a funeral with an uncle (as in an old guy) and someone I consider more knowledgeable than I am (yes I do that these days). During our drive, they were both coincidently conversing on how people/ strangers behaving kindly and selflessly. Having heard of their stories I knew that I couldn’t finish this piece negatively. After all, that’ll be unfair.

Moving on, could it be that people are prone to behave more selfishly in the cities? You know fast paced, ‘dog eat dog world’, traffic jamms, fast food chains (I just wanted to include fast food chains too) and etc. There was a study conducted in the US (because when I say US you might think of it as more believable) whereby it stated that the middle class people are more prone to behave like douche-bags and selfishly.

 Numerous times I had the ‘luck’ to view their smugness. Even the expressions that their faces make have the ability to ruin someone’s day. Why do I have this feeling as if I am drifting off from topic?

In the city, especially on the road, all you see is smug faces. People drive huge cars that assert successfulness but their behavior and expressions convey differently. One would think being successful would automatically mean being in a state of calmness or something to that affect? Or are we so backwards that being nice today is the quality of the inferior and ‘unsuccessful’?

Could successfulness mean being dominant over others or having the privilege to treat others badly and not feel badly about it? Like what the English did and what the west is doing and what I hope we are not following…although it seems like we are emulating them in every way.

Back to people especially in their ‘armored’ cars, how are these people always on the edge, like moving pressure cookers? And when you unintentionally look at their faces, it causes the stomach to churn. All you witness is a prick in a posh car. This was taken from a movie, ‘What is the difference between a porcupine and a car? With the car the pricks are inside.’  One should also ponder on how/who defines success and how do you define success? I guess this comes back to beliefs and how strong your beliefs are.

This superiority complex derived from the version of success in the material world; have brought into live some diseases…Who coined the term, ‘slum’, ‘pariah’? I would probably say this mentality of degrading others has been on earth since well… long before I was born.   

In my effort to treat everyone as equally as possible (because I too am tarnished by this disease of judging a person based on their outer appearance) I will try harder not to judge a person by their race, skin color or their wealth. A decent person is a decent person regardless of his stature.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day, I was driving and minutes away from reaching home. I had to pass through one last hurdle, a troublesome roundabout. There is a roundabout in SS15 where Cars moved as if they are bumper cars and all they wanted to do is hit you. This is not a myth just highly exaggerated. Again, I am not saying I am a good driver, I am saying that I am not a complete douche every time I am behind the wheel and most of the time I try to adhere to the law. I also learned that there is no use in getting upset or angry because getting upset over such people erm only makes you upset.

This also reminded me and made me realized that motorists aren’t just insensitive towards motorcyclist they are equally insensitive to all road users even pedestrians. Just that when you are on a motorbike the tendency for you dying seems loftier. Can you then blame me for being concerned or slightly paranoid?

Anyways I am going to finish this.

What I intend to do and hope to become…I have lived and observed. The people especially the adults have showed me that their ways are blemished. History has depicted all kinds of life stories. It is up to me to choose a story or a chapter from history I deem is best for me. Having said that, in reference to this particular piece I plan not to get offended by selfish people; although I have the tendency to get offended of a 5 year old girl.  I don’t know if that made sense.

There is this belief where when people behave badly to you, you respond to them with kindness and wisdom. I guess it depends on the situation too? However my point being, I normally respond to such people with well let’s just say I have somewhat embraced the philosophy, ‘an eye for an eye.’ I realize that this is going to be extremely difficult but I am now trying to respond differently hence you should wish me luck. Although I have no confidence in myself regarding how I am going to change the way I respond, there shouldn’t be anything wrong in being hopeful, right?

(^&^)

Pants, gasps more air to withstand?

Strands of stances, he intends to land,

Stands with a lance,

Strained in his hands,

They thought it was a dance,

And muttered, ‘no offence’

The sunlight shines,

The moonlight, kind,

Developing the mind,

A sign for mankind,

The man shines,

He fails to fathom the signs,

Then Indeed he is blind

Tired he pants,

A life span ends,

A lifetime spent,

He recounts all the times he vent,

Material world, deceiving all kind,

But they have not time,

They were busy chasing happiness in the shape of coins,

He stands with stains,

With regrets and no gain,

Society oh what a surprise, designed and stained

I keep repeating this, to what gain?

Well he is in shackles and chains,

He strains only to be consoled by the pain that stinks and leaves behind stains which strains and he fails to restrain he is deranged and he drains his thoughts in the drain when it rains.

My scalp always itches

I itch for stability and dishes

Often afraid of ending up in the ditches

The duchess they were caught in snickers

My fear needs stitches,

Why be afraid of glitches?

Who has his fate in his clutches?

It crashes and crushes?

Will we hide in the bushes?

True faith grants peace and all wishes,

For those who are blessed with an insight,

Which incites truth and admonishes the malicious.

2

Too much time,

Too little space,

Too little time,

Too vast of a space,

Too much sense,

Too much comprehension,

Back to, too little that I sense,

Too dense,

Too much of an idiot with too much comprehension,

Too much of an idiot with too little comprehension

Too little answers,

To whom do you answer?

To the self who is the owner of the self?

Too…

I talk too much,

Too self-absorbed,

All this and more to what extent?

To discover true love, do you not understand.

July

I've been wanting… was told to write something more positive but  every time I place my magical fingers on me keyboard with the intention of writing something optimistic…I guess I need to put  more effort into it.  It’s not like I am a negative person, everyone who knows me know how bubbly and cheerful of a person I am in real life, right? Okay…Therefore I thought I would post some pictures instead. Pictures of flowers and fruits, how much more positive can it get? I’ve been pretty good too in case anyone’s wondering. Ahh! the realization of a monologue taking place haha.  Enjoy the pictures…Oh! Before I forget, happy fasting and may this Ramadan be better than the previous ones. :)

c(^ -

Thoughts mere thoughts

Thoughts important thoughts

Thoughts pure thoughts

Thoughts, thoughtful slots,

Thoughts plagued thoughts

Thoughts, good against evil thoughts

Thoughts of what I sought

Thoughts for what I fought

Thoughts my mother taught

Thoughts of what my religion taught

Thoughts of which that people spout

Thoughts when their faces pout

Thoughts of the minds that are dim and stout

Thoughts a single man’s thought

Thoughts when there’s a draught

Thoughts when flowers sprout

Thoughts, caught in my thoughts

Thoughts…imprisoned by thoughts

Thoughts, existing, extinct, proof of existence thoughts

Thought forever thoughts

Thoughts, sad, depressing thoughts

Thoughts are Immortal? Thoughts?

Thoughts, throughout and out, aloud and resilient thoughts

Thoughts, threw out some thoughts

Thoughts, but I thought…

I thought! Who cares what you’ve thought?!

Thoughts, the pure ones are clogged

Thoughts, corrupted ones are not blocked

Thoughts rulers are stocked

Thoughts rulers, they flock

Thoughts, rulers, the corrupted ones are stout and not blocked

Thoughts shouldn’t be affected by thoughts?

Thoughts, life’s plot

Thoughts, they don’t stop.

{}

Average, why not average?

Soothing and comfortable, a cold beverage,

Minimum wage?

Strange,

Who is deranged?

Judged and staged,

Come on, Gather courage!

Freedom in a cage,

Rage and enraged..

Garbage,

.

.

.

Aged…

.

.

.

Dead...gaged

llllllllll

This game again and again, what little has he gained?! Churning and vomiting what a sad man. A minute of silence for him then. Regaining and losing solemnly in disdain, anyhow isn’t it weird, it keeps coming back over and over again. Restrain! I am of a spiritual saint, weak! All of his boasting and thoughts pave way only to shame. The old men looked at him as if his face is stain. What people? Who cares about foolish people!? He does which adds more stabbing to the veins. 

Ashamed and forsaken in this biased world, some are born happy and some sad, disdain, misery, pain… apologies didn’t mean to whine but the mind is occupied with this terrain. You are happy, stay away from this place, he has this gift of expanding pain, you may not want to walk on murky terrain, what do you understand?

His teachers protected in a different space are writing about the pleasure of being a slave, they write about the sweetness they found in their struggles and pain. They have gone beyond being a mere traveler; In possession of acceptance, wisdom and selflessness—a gift precious than gold and emeralds.

Unlike them his expressions, thoughts and words are flaws of his characters. His teachers are busy acquainted with praises of the Creator. He remains self-absorbed and conscious of his stature. What a failure, playing with words trying to create his own signature.

Hunger of knowledge and understanding all that surfaces instead are anger. When the stomach is empty it just needs food and it is satiated but the heart while empty you fill it with this and that, that and this…unquenchable it seems. The soul although fed with nourishments and vitamins remains haggard begging for light, peace and ease…restless is the being. He becomes afraid and paranoid to the extent that he thinks, accursed it seems.

However, this morning he had a different expression. He looked pale; he appeared drained of energy and a different kind of sadness shown in his eyes even worse than previously.

He started talking, ‘last night I had a dream...the type of dream that is most disturbing.’ He proceeded to tell me something that even disturbed me. It went on like this,

 “After some introductory nightmares which aren’t worth mentioning the type that keeps the adrenaline pumping, the type that makes you wake up exhausted…and then suddenly I was at a playground close to my old house. I was with my mother and it was early in the morning, the morning dew absorbed into the skin. She said, will you continue to love me when you’re grown up? I said I will remain the same and never grow up. She rubbed my face with her palms and replied, ‘but look at you, you are already grown up’. I paused a little, looked at myself and as disappointment enveloped me,  I unknowingly walked ahead onto the playground and after a few steps I looked back and my mother was gone…I turned and raced back and returned to my home. My mother was there, I was overcome by happiness and relieved; it was evident in my panting face. She then told me, ‘I just wanted to see if you’d notice when I am gone’ I woke up shattered, my world hath crumbled, the end of days had conquered, all that is left is judgment. All my complaints and troubles appeared to be gone.

 I realized all that is important to be grateful for the gift and love that we have. Treasure, wealth, stability are important but none comes close to love, none can supersede love.” He finished talking and looked at me sharply and then he smiled. Slowly he began evaporating, I noticed bits of him vanishing until there was nothing of him left.

I opened my eyes with the weight of a mountain on my chest. I was late for work, the image of my boss flashed in front of my face. Though my work was now trivial, I could care less of being late or even fired.

Fear and gratitude filled my heart,

Troubled and helpless the weak man is,

Constantly living in fear and distraught,

Constantly dependent, powerless and at loss,

Awaiting wisdom,
 obedience and light to fill this empty heart...

3

Everyday as I go by I see cut down trees, every fallen tree took years to complete and now they fall deceased, like dead men forgotten and forsaken though soon new trees arises, inhales carbon dioxide and exhales oxygen and here we are cutting down trees that makes the city breathe.

The condition of the city scorching in heat, polluted and noisy, what an unfortunate epidemic. The people stressed, uneasy and angry yet we still continue cutting down many trees. Sometimes it is out of necessity but for every tree we cut down how many more do we breed?

For the rich to stay in greed, the poor has to bleed. For which rich man am I going to be cut down? Like the trees cut down and left to bleed, deplete…

The rich, despite their wealth remain poor with values for they live a life of no value but false values. Money buys respect and happiness from those who are slaves of superficiality. Open your eyes, the best things in life are free, don’t be programmed by society, being rich is just an endless cycle of greed. The society tainted with horrendous qualities, judging happiness from the houses they built. The best of man led a simple life, yet we follow the accursed pharaohs in the lives we lead.

Trees are being cut down, forests being wiped out, demolitions straight out, nations divided and focused on dreaded thoughts, how much longer will the world exist? Destructions daily in many parts—be it trees, forests, seas, cities and lives being killed—at any cost. We still think our lives are going to last, objectifying money and fussing over our neighbors’ thoughts.

The best of man lived a simple life. He didn’t chase wealth even when wealth came running to him. To us, however his life seems not good enough. ‘Money is not everything’. I remind myself profusely and time and time again try to instill sense into my brain. Though my brain is filled with greed and keeps daydreaming about a fortress and of a rich life and of the amounts of likes and of the new friends I would attract and of the acceptance I’ve always expect. Such is the stupid, shallow and misguided. Dead is his heart and empty is his head.

“If we stop worshipping money and stop entrapping ourselves in life-long debts, we could make peace with ourselves and live a more pleasant life.” I say to myself, “I don’t know if I will eventually heed my own advice.”

In any case, stop cutting down them trees!

 

White Round Thing

Here I am again on this familiar slate,

Where darkness once again cheers me,

The eyes left closed,

Afraid of what this reality might boast,

My eyes are hurting and my mouth gaping

Across the night,

A white round thing,

Radiant and boasting, a bright white thing,

All I witness is a white round thing,

Ignorant of what this significant thing,

Gravity, waves and a whole lot of other things,

I take for granted and only see a lamp kind of thing

The sun and the moon,

Each running on its appointed time,

But all I know is,

I can’t stare at the sun but the moon,

Despite being a reflection of the sun, the moon,

I see and yet see just a white round thing

Those who know and those who don’t,

Are they then considered equal?

Here is then the looming man,

Not necessarily blooming,

Wondering hopingly,

Inviting dead,

Yet not know a thing.  

Hello,

How are you? Everything is good, I hope. I talk about the weather when I can’t think of what to say. It’s awfully dark here, though it’s not awful at all. I guess I prefer it to be less sunny, I don’t know.  I guess this would suffice as a blog entry. I hope you had a good time... 

Neither/Nor

And so after all the years and threads of words scribbled and expressed—on various things under the influence of many moods and themes that which when combined accumulates to nothing but sometimes discreet, sometimes indiscreet conveyance of an expressive being.

Naturally, after all this, they say what does it all mean?! Nothing but empty addressing without any solid reasoning, worse still without any solutions not even suggestions they say mocking.

And so despite all the complaining, whining which were certainly annoying…despite all that.. the realization of a weakly being never quite left the writer’s mind. He knew he wasn’t able to come up with his own methods of problem solving. He fantasized of many things, coming up with a solution for mankind, not one them. He knew at the back of his there’s already a perfect system created by one perfect being.  

Though most people choose to be ignorant and blindly follow their idiotic whims or the whims of others and then consequently support these ideologies, theories and conjectures in imagining they could come up with a successful scheme. They failed and they continued to fail but in ignorance and arrogance they continue to follow their whims and so continued to scheme.

Even the great minds or those who thought of themselves as great minds have time and time again failed with their ideologies, propaganda, brain washing, or any type of ruling that when addressing the public was in the ‘interest of the people and their well being.’ All in all these so-called rulers tried, promised, experimented, executed and kept on failing. Till today no human mind can come up with an ideology fit for all mankind. While the best of path were already bestowed and shown to them yet they continue to mock and insult and ignore the ways of the praiseworthy.

A single man after all is a complicated being; two men make things more complicated. A whole nation, no matter how good the puppeteer is, he still won’t be able to corrupt and manipulate the whole lot. Such is man, such is man who tries to play god, such is man weak and a dumb lot. Again, man despite what I may think—are complex beings not easily controlled. When we have creations trying to manipulate and take control over other creations it can only lead to destruction.

Though today, they have come closer in controlling the average man in leading men into solid traps in the form of debts abd and interests. Men who closely believe in bowing to the repulsive, despicable and shallow acceptance of the society and in doing so entrap them for life in their daily jobs which they wholeheartedly feel they need in order to pay for unnecessary debts and mortgages. Such is the modern day trap; in order to survive one has to give up his soul to the ones in control.

Such is the man, such is the society and such is the state of the modern, ‘civilized’ world.

And so, you ask of which of these words you may grasp, choose and digest them into your life? Again I say, I am no problem solver akin to what you may think. Mere expressions, most of them frustrations, explosions due to helplessness and weaknesses; can’t u not see? There are no answers, no solutions that I put on forth but merely frustrations that for years now I have realized that when frustrations conveyed to even the closest friend he couldn’t bear to listen to the continuous complaints which soon became a nuisance hence writing them down helps more and proves to be a better option. Now even complaining in written form seems to bring about dislikes.

What essence? What methods? What art? What philosophy? I write as I see fit, I am filled with fault and weaknesses don’t expect me to impress you or elevate your intelligence. For I write not for such petty reasons. I am a slave, a follower despite knowing that I am weak and the urge to ‘let off steam’ arises hence these expressions.

I thought of updating my blog and then today, just now, I came across this beautiful story most probably with Arabic or Indian linkage.  Thus here I am updating me blog. This may be short but it leaves such an impression, a lasting one at that, that it makes one shudder at the metaphor. 

Upon an occasion a son was going to murder his mother . His lover told him that if he brings the heart of his mother to her then she will marry him. The delinquent then went and cut open his mother and removed her heart. As he was going back he tripped over and fell. His mother’s heart spoke out with love and said, “Oh my son are you okay?” The voice came from the heart saying, “Oh my son I hope you’re okay”.

Such is the son, such are girls and such are mothers. 

Some Soren

I don’t know if I am bored or have ran out of ideas. Though, I found the below quotes to be to my liking and I guess this is me implying that I like them so much that I might want to post it on my blog and perhaps even read about it later. 

I like Kierkegaard as I like a few other philosophers mainly due to their prowess in intelligence and their views that I can mimic agreeableness with which always causes me to be a little jealous and then causes me to reflect and then duress and a little bitter afterwards.

I like to think I refrained from reading philosophical books mainly because due to my limited capacity towards thinking. However with the little I understand has the ability to make me wonder to the verge of insanity, now I am just playing with words. 

I don’t think I prevent myself from reading anything interesting that can be easily reached. Having said that, for some reason these books are way too expensive probably meant only for certain classes and probably to prevent certain classes from reading these stuff as it could cause on to think and ponder and realize the type of world we are set in. Yes, I do believe all it requires is a little thinking to notice the state of the world and people that walks on earth.

I don’t think that you should think of what I think as a thing of permanence. However there are things that I am steadfast on, though I don’t sound like I am boasting, I actually…on second thoughts, no I wasn’t boasting. After all, circumstances have shaped my thinking, if the circumstances were different or were to be different then I might even change my way of thinking into not thinking at all? Such is man; forgetful, weak and cheap.

I, As much as I don’t care, my innately good self would like it if u were to like the quotes below and were to think a little about it and somewhat/how discover the deep scars that covers the world and the almost transparent temperament of people would make my innately good self even more friendly towards you. As much as the quotes might not be related to what I’ve just spewed. Anyways enough about me already.

‘What is a poet? An unhappy man who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music . . . 

And people flock around the poet and say: ‘Sing again soon’ – that is, ‘May new sufferings torment your soul but your lips be fashioned as before, for the cry would only frighten us, but the music, that is blissful.’

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” 

“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. . . . My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known- no wonder, then, that I return the love.”

“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.”

“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.”

“The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God.”

“One must not think slightingly of the paradoxical…for the paradox is the source of the thinker’s passion, and the thinker without a paradox is like a lover without feeling: a paltry mediocrity.”

“How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it and why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?”

“What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?”

“Leap of faith – yes, but only after reflection”

“Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.” 

“It is the duty of the human understanding to understand that there are things which it cannot understand...”