Tale Unveiled

“HEY! HEYY!” He heard someone sneering behind him. He felt his body turning around, his spider senses was working against him – only to be shocked by a flat piece of wood with a long nail poking through it. It happened so fast, he saw the piece of wood approaching his face and felt the slap. A couple of tooth came out and one of them fell right into his palm. He stood there just staring at it shocked with a long nail stuck in his face.

The person who slapped him was no longer visible; ‘he or she must’ve been planning this for a long time’ he thought to himself feeling a little impressed. He had to go to the doctor to get the wood out of his face. Since that day on Ahmad Nalid was known as Naild.

Ahmad Nalid, now Naild was the leader of a gang called the phase gang. Reason being, he believed that what he was going through was just a phase. And as soon as he found his calling he would immerse himself into whatever it is he felt passionate about. Ironically, he knew deep inside that the relationship he had with his friends were too strong and will never be breached. These were the type of people they were. Their type was obviously a minority.

Sharpenhauer, one of his closest friends and his right hand man, sometimes advisor, paid for the doctor fees and reminded him that he had to pay him back. They talked a little about their upcoming meeting. The friends didn’t even come close to talking about who the culprit who hurt Naild. It wasn’t significant to them.

The next day, Naild found that he was at home alone with his cousin. His cousin’s name was Ickyfox. Ickyfox was the total opposite to Naild. He possessed several degrees from universities abroad and whenever Nailed saw Ickyfox’s parents he would see their eyes glimmer with pride whenever their son was mentioned. Now Ickyfox was good looking too, had a genuinely nice girl friend and everything seemed in place for a bright future and a secure life.

Ickyfox had a secret though. He self-assumingly thought to himself that he could predict what others were thinking. Ickyfox only did all the good things that was expected of him to portray. By doing so he impressed people, who like him also did things to impress others. They were real life actors.

Naild always knew something was amiss with Ickyfox, it couldn’t just be his feeling of jealousy towards him. One night as Naild was coming back from a gathering with his fellow gang members; He passed Ickyfox’s sleeping spot. As he passed he noticed something peculiar happening with Ickyfox. Naild in an almost surprised state witnessed a black snake, a colorful peacock and a red colored woman on top of ickyfox’s chest; they were all attached to him.

They appeared to be in an important meeting. They were looking at each other and talking in a serious whispering tone. Naild, after a minute of staring at them got curious and said to them; ‘Hello!’ he tried to sound as friendly as he could. They gave him a disgusted look and in a hurry when back into ickyfox’s heart. He could still see them though but they were pretending to be asleep. Naild left them to their dwellings.

Of course Naild was used to getting the same treatments from the opposite gender, but he was a little hurt being ignored even by evil creatures plotting. This was also a moment where Naild consciously and subconsciously noticed that he was in possession of a mysterious talent that others didn’t.

He made his way into his room greeted by a pair of giant horns that were laid side to side on his table. The horns used to be part of a great giant goat. It was said to possess some kind of protecting and healing powers. He looked at them sadly wishing they could talk or at least make the hot room feel a little colder; instead they just laid there collecting dust.

Apart from the voices in his head that wouldn’t shut up, everything else was as quiet as night. One of the voices in his head said that it was sleepy and wanted to sleep, the rest of the voices wasn’t in agreement…the voices started to get aggressive and began cussing at each other. Naild knew all of his voices and most of the time was in command, his voices were no longer able to fool or influence him, making him more in control.

One of Naild’s hobbies was to curl up and cry till he went dry. He was always under the realization that he was powerless and by himself could do or achieve nothing. His contemplation and silent dwelling did expose him to some of the answers he was looking for. Nonetheless it didn’t stop him to do so whenever he was alone.

There was something wrong with his voice tonight, the voices in head were more violent and disturbing than usual. He told them to shut up but they wanted to play. He turned on some music, to ignore or entertain them.

The Music started to make its presence. He played ‘Superstar by Lupe Fiasco’ Naild thought to himself that ‘Lupe Fiasco’ was a freaking cool name. Naild started to enjoy the music and began to take pleasure in the music a little too much by jumping and nodding his head back and forth. He felt that he needed to express himself. Immersing himself in the music, he closed his eyes and continued jumping and ‘head banging’.

He came to an abrupt stop and fell back on his ass after hearing a loud thud. He started seeing flickers of tiny light like things. He realized that he hit his head on one of the four walls in his room. Naild was on his ass with blood flowing from his head.

Blood was just flowing out instead of gushing out. It was just a small cut. ‘This shouldn’t be too bad’ he muttered to himself. He took a few plasters and tried to stick them as to stop the bleeding. It didn’t work; he then proceeded to move outside and looked for thread and a needle. Naild mother was a tailor hence he assumed that as the son of a tailor he should naturally possess the ability to sew.

He was also not an idiot; he burned the needle a little using a lighter and then prepared to sew his forehead. He had to remove the useless plasters that were stuck to his head first.

As soon as he was done peeling the plasters off, he tried getting the thread into the needle, he heard footsteps approaching and realized that he forgot to close the door to his room. Ickyfox stood outside. His eyes were dark and he gave out a cold stare, “You are making so much noise, you not only woke me up but now I can’t even sleep! Not with all the ruckus you’re causing!” Icky fox complained haughtily.

“Kid! I think I suck at this. Go get the car we need to go see a doctor!” Naild demanded completely ignoring what icky just said. Icky was still gawking at him sharply unmoving. Nailed reached for one of the horns lying on the table and threw it with perfect accuracy, the horn hit ickyfox’s on his forehead. Now they were both bleeding.

Naild decided to drive anyway because he didn’t trust Ickyfox not after seeing what was in his heart. “I should’ve just gone on my own the first time!” he whispered to himself. The drive to the doctor was a quiet one. The radio was playing some lame mainstream music. The song was about the singer’s view on how he thought his listeners were stupid. After several minutes of driving and of drenching a stolen car with their own blood later; they arrived at a large house instead of a clinic.

Naild and Icky got out of the car and waited in front of a huge three storey house. After a couple of minutes, Naild took out his phone and spoke into it, he almost sounded like he was pleading for help. Ickyfox looked amused witnessing Naild looking vulnurable. Naild placed his phone back into his pocket. He let out a huge satisfied sigh followed by a grin and a thumbs up. “Success!” he cried out.

Both of the men were relieved when they finally heard the sound of a door being opened, followed by the grill opening. A girl came out with a kit in her hand. She neither smiled nor did she appear to have any other expressions on her face. Her name was Lunice, short for Siti Lunacy.

Naild used to date her. He even used to brag about her to his friends on how he met the nicest and the most kind-hearted person everrr. She was nice, warm and kind hearted indeed but she was also at the same time cruel and cold blooded to the core. Naild of course learned it the hard way. They were still friends though, Naild and Lunice.

Lunice didn’t look like she felt like talking or opening the gate for them. She walked to the center of the pavement and sat there. Nailed looked for a moment and getting the signal, climbed up the gate and walked towards her. As he got closer to her, he sat in front of her with his hand covering his forehead. Ickyfox followed suit and sat beside him.

Lunice was wearing a black overall; still Naild could hear some creatures whispering in her head and beneath her chest. He also thought that they were glaring at him angrily. “Stop staring at my breast!” Lunice said in a cold disgusted tone. Naild shifted a little and pretended to look somewhere else. She opened up the kit and took out a needle. But there was no thread; Nailed looked at her with an expression of surprise and curiosity. Lunice shifted the scarf she was wearing to the side and pulled out a few strands of long black hair.

She then took one and inserted it into the needle and started sewing. “They’re pretty strong,” she added and started sewing. It took her less than 15 minutes to sew both of their heads up. After sewing them together, she took out the cotton and antiseptic from the kit she brought. She tore a piece of cotton and poured some antiseptic on to it. She gave one to Ickyfox and took the other one and started to rub Naild’s eyes with it. “Bitch!” Naild shrieked and moved away from her. They both climbed outside and headed towards the car. Naild then stopped and looked at Ickyfox as if signaling something.

Ickyfox got the hint and in sheer sweetness pulled off a perfectly sincere smile followed by what sounded like a genuine thank you. Lunice waved and was trying to give out a fake smile. She never looked uglier thought Nailed.

In the car, Nailed said to Ickyfox, “Not bad huh! With so much ugliness inside you, you only portray the most beautiful things outside.” “Why, thank you, you do what you have to do, right?” Ickyfox said in a straight honest tone.

“You know what? I think that she might be the one who attacked me with the nail….” After a slight pause he added, “And wood”. Ickyfox appeared to be thinking of something else. “For all I know, it could’ve been you.” Naild said in a slower tone from before. “Yeap, it could’ve been me” added Ickyfox. Naild had done enough damage to Ickyfox for one night so he decided to ignore him.

The journey back home was quiet and rather calming. That night Naild dreamt of fighting with Ickyfox’s and Lunice’s demons. They both had 3 each. Naild had more than one too but only one came out after much pleading and his inner self resembled him in every way. Nonetheless it managed to fend off his enemies weak attacks. He woke up tired and feeling bruised the next day.

That morning he went out to meet up with Sharpenhauer. They both didn’t have any real jobs. They only worked when they had to. Besides being in a gang or an organization depends on how you look at it, helps.

They also had bigger reasons; they didn’t want to sell their souls to the devil. They didn’t care about trying so hard to be in the system and performing the same duty day in and day out while limiting the mind’s capacity and capability. To them it was irrelevant and meaningless.

“All that for what? To be accepted and recognized by the already brain washed society. We are intelligent than that, why bother to please the majority when the majority was corrupted and their intelligence limited and their hearts closed from receiving any light? Naild said agreeing with the orator.

Sharpenhauer then impatiently said that he had something funny to say, he started off, “and there I was having my lunch at the food court. I had to eat at the long table and beside me there were a group of colleagues having their lunch. They looked comfortable with each other. So this guy, guy number one said, ‘Aku tak percaya dia boleh belanja cili!’ “I wasn’t really eavesdropping but I couldn’t help not hearing them talk, what was I supposed to do, cover my ears?” he defended when noticing Naild eyeing him with suspicion.

He continued as Naild remained silent, the second guy then said, ‘Aku dah buat siasatan tapi aku tak tahu macam mana dia boleh belanja cili!’ “Now after hearing this I couldn’t help it, I started snickering like a little girl. The third guy noticing me, said to his friend, ‘bukan cili la tapi chilis!’ “His other friends weren’t as bothered. I had to leave the table or else I would’ve burst out with laughter.” He looked at Naild for a response, “Yes it was pretty funny haha looking down at others.” Naild responded. “It was really funny when it happened!” Shapernhauer countered.

The friends resumed walking again; they had a meeting with the rest of the members of the Phase gang later that day. “I think I don’t like the name of our gang,” complained Sharpenhauer. “It sounds weak and temporary.” He added.

“Well it’s just a name; a phase can mean many things. Besides all we have is each other while no else would look at us. We are group of intelligent people wanting to feel belonged and to be part of something important and you know, something that is more rationale and makes more sense.” Naild explained. He looked Sharpenhauer in the eye and said, “Though we have the tendency to invite trouble I believe that we are all on the verge of getting to know ourselves better. Lets persevere! After all, all we have is each other.” Naild said with a straight face.

Naild phone started to ring; it was Bringo Star, Naild’s brother. “I need to go back home now” he said in a serious tone. The meeting was postponed. Sharpenhauer came along with him, “What?! It’s not like I have anything better to do; besides I think your parents like me more than they like you!” Sharpenhauer expressed himself in response to Naild’s staring. “Don’t get all sensitive now I was just looking if you were coming along.” Naild stated and started walking towards home.

As they neared home, Bringo Star was waiting for them outside the gate. As they approached Naild noticed the look in his brother’s eyes, he was dead serious and the creatures in his heart were displeased and his head was emitting steam. Later he learned that an old man got beaten up by 3 male adults, it didn’t quite make sense. The old man was 85 of age and despite his healthy state..Well it’s just not right, is it? Besides the old man was their grandfather. It was personal.

Naild called up another member of the phase gang. He called Archie. Within a few minutes Archie was with them. Archie was their neighbor, who lived across them. In case you didn’t see it coming Archie was an archer, not your typical archer though. After being told of what happened Archie exclaimed, “You know how it works I need to at least have a name or a picture.” He said in a watchful tone trying not to hurt his friends’ feelings.

“We knew about that, what we want you to do is aim at everyone in the past month who had hurt any old man. After all they deserve to get hurt!” Bringo Star said.

“So your intention and goal should be aimed at people who have hurt people over the age of 85 in a month’s period, wait let’s make it a year.” With that they gave Archie some space, Archie closed his eyes and moved his hand over his head to his back, reaching for an arrow. His left hand was holding onto the bow. “Where to?” the arrow spoke. Both the arrow and the bow weren’t visible. Only Archie and Naild were able to see them.

Naild had the gift to see things because he understood stuff and when you understand things, you tend to see them. That was his logic. So Naild had the gift which gave him the tendency to see and understand most things.

“To any men who hath hurt any old men above the age of 80 in the course of a year” Archie instructed and was already pulling on the arrow. “Oh my! That sounds easy!” replied the arrow sarcastically. “Hit em in the hand and leave a mark, a permanent scar for them to remember it by.” Naild added. “Oh you asshole -- It’s been a long time hasn’t it?” said the arrow. Naild met Archie almost every day, which means he sees the bow and the arrow everyday too. “Hey Bow! Control your arrow?” said Naild to the bow, which was its name. “Very well then let’s do this.” said the bow to the arrow in a soft yet firm tone.

Archie pointed his invisible bow and arrow towards the sky, pulled on the arrow and let it go. They were looking in the sky for a couple of minutes looking bewildered. “Okay, isn’t that’s bad?” asked Archie.

Naild nodded in agreement. “What is?” Sharpenhauer and Bringo Star enquired. “When I let the arrow go, it split into what appeared like a thousands of arrows” Said Archie. “I guess we forgot to tell the bow and arrow to stay local haha!” Naild laughed.

“That’s not even funny, now our enemies and other groups would be angry at me…at us for not abiding the rules.” Archie said with a hint of anxiety in his voice. “Let them come! Death and I are one, I am not afraid to die!” Said Naild. “But what if you get injured or paralyzed or one of your limbs cut off?” Sharpenhauer asked.

“Well in that case let’s be more cautious from now on,” replied Naild, changing his mind immediately. The other members and his brother were used to this and ended up sighing instead. “What should be engraved in our heads are that, we live in an age where people are hurting old people who cannot fight back, think about that” explained Naild. “They had it coming to them.” He added.

“It’s almost night let’s stick together and avoid from going home and risking the safety of others. Call the other members and we’ll have a meeting to sort things out.” Naild instructed. “You do realize that our group member consists of more than a couple of thousand members?” Bringo Star said and continued “Besides you are just using this as an excuse meet your friends and to not go back home, aren’t you?”. Ignoring his brother Naild replied, “Well let’s just call the few hundred that can really fight and use their brain…I mean only the ones that we like.”

After a few hours the selected members of the phase gang were all seated on the ground of a huge field that looked the greenest in the morning. Each one possessed their own special powers but none could overcome Naild’s power. Apparently none can fight against the power of understanding, with the ability to see through one’s heart and even understand it and consequently tame/manipulate it. And secondly he always had his companions and his elder brother with him, whom by themselves were strong enough to destroy a small country or a few islands for that matter.

That night an enormous tent that appeared like a mountain covered the vast field. On the inside it looked like a huge castle, a very simple yet practical one that was able to house a few hundred people at a time.

Naild slept in a huge room with 10 of his closest companions. That night he dreamt of being invited to a fantasy world called the ‘Matareel’ world. The people there were referred to as hyptocrites. They were a people of luxury and piety. It weirded him out upon hearing that; mainly because the two don’t go together—piety and meekness yes—but piety and luxury? Now there seems to be something wrong and fundamentally contradictory he thought.

The worse of their kind were their leaders who were adorned with white robes and their women with their scarf’s that shined even at night. Their silky robes, with their long beards and signs of piety on their fore heads seemed to charm themselves including the rest of their world. When Naild looked at them with their sweet grinning faces, he realized that they were mimicking happiness not only manipulating others but their own selves.

“Welcome!” Said a maiden with the most soothing voice—that was until he looked at her; She looked grotesque and there were all sorts of creatures from her legs right to the strands of her hair, most of them he never seen before. Naild swiftly hurried away from her.

All the elders were lined up, welcoming him. As much as Naild tried to pretend, he just couldn’t bear the sight, the unlimited creatures and the foul smell they were emitting. No perfume could silent the smell of the hyptocrites.

Each and every one of them were racing to become better than the other and they all already thought they were better than their companions.

However on the outside they were all very nice and gentle, constantly speaking of peace and on believing in love and the oneness of God. If Naild couldn’t look through them he’d thought that they were the best kind of people in the whole universe. “It’s time to wake up” he told himself. “Oh! Before I go I would like to say something” Naild said to them.

They smiled and kept quiet anticipating his speech. “For material is temporal, and understanding is virtue, material is perishable, I understand you, and all of you are material!” with that he opened his eyes and he was back in the tent with his friends. He looked at the clock and only a minute had passed since he went to bed. “That’s weird, a minute of torture seemed to last forever!” He cried out sighing.

“Oh! Sharpenhauer! You are awake as well!” Naild cried out excitedly when he noticed his friend awake. He also noticed that his friend was shedding tears. “What’s wrong?” He asked concerned. “I had a dream” he said. “I did too, it was really bad” he paused for a while and asked, “What did you dream of?”

I dreamt of my whole life passing over me and I saw the pictures one by one, every single event and in all the pictures there was a person showering me with love and comfort. Continuously smiling and giving a part of her strength. Sharpenhauer Said. “Tell me more” Naild requested. “Not this time man” his friend replied and turned his back to him.

Naild understood that his friend must’ve been in pain, he also noticed a light was emanating from Sharpenhauer’s heart. It was a tiny thing that can’t be more than 10 inches of size. As he looked closely it was a smaller version of Sharpenhauer when he was younger somewhere around the age of 6 or 7. “Come to me, dear friend” Naild said extending his hand. The younger Sharpenhauer jumped out from his owner’s chest and on to Naild’s hand.

“Speak!” Naild ordered. The younger Sharpenhauer bowed and obliged. He started to sing,

The lady,

Something you might never understand,

Your cold heart, your pride would never bend,

This is a bond that binds souls hand in hand,

Her stature elevates above my being,

The one that fed and fended me,

Who protected me under her wings,

Who taught me a little of everything,

Who instilled beliefs that cultivate me,

Shadowed me from atrocities,

When in fear I seek comfort in her warmth,

I grew in strength and became a man,

I stood then high and forgot the hand,

The blessed hands of kindness and authenticity,

That lives on giving and forgiving,

Whom I witnessed suffering and surviving,

Because she had offspring’s to give in,

For I had not known what love between mortal is,

But certainly I am witness to this;

A prove of a love that never cease, Is of a mother towards her seeds.”

The young child bowed again as it finished. “Thank you” Nail muttered. He lifted his hang signaling the child to go back to its owner. It jumped off and returned to Sharpenhaur’s chest. Naild went out to inhale some fresh oxygen and look at the skies, the moon, and the stars. As he looked at them in wonder and fascination.. They greeted him and then in unison said, “Rest well, we shall comfort and protect you like a mother protects its child.” Naild responded by saying, “Peace be upon you” and they said back in unison, “And upon you, peace.” He felt a lot better and returned to his space and drifted into worlds continuing his goals in life; dwelling and learning about himself, others and drawing closer to his Creator.

Note: Thank you for reading! :)

The Poisonous Frog


Then emptiness creeps in,

After moments of evaluating,

Then silence too slides in,

Subsequent to thinking and observing,

Instilled then shivering,

Generating self loathing,


Smiles beaming, a flower blooming,

She transcends assertively in modesty,

Simplicity overcomes superficiality,

The thoughts of thee orchestrating in mine,

No pictures or video can challenge what plays in mind,

Resonating the beauty of what comes to mind


I hath than realized more pertinent things,

Than to ponder on the wonders and joys that life brings in,

Pragmatism stood in front of me,

Pessimism started leading me,

Nevertheless, the princess’s leaving,

Left a hole where it’s beating,


The violin whining, emitting sad longings,

Too little too late the princess was seen leaving,

What was I doing?

A fool fuelled into fooling,

The remnants of her leaving,

In the black of his eyes, they were still longing.

The Shiznit!





It was a tiring day, accompanied by trying people... I needed something calming and something that would sooth the mind, ease the trouble away if only momentarily. This did the job...hence I am being nice and sharing okayy.

p.s. band name: depapepe;
song name: ameagari (after the rain)

Okaa


Note: someone, somebody wrote this, but heyy none of you did...haha (I am so funny)



I’ll go frantic looking for you,

There’ll be no home to return to,

This is the worst of God’s trial,

Lost in vision, nothing to envision,

Worse than an earthquake for inside lies the ruins,

Buried within are all hope for living,

Your familiar face no longer in existence,

Left alone with no one to trust,

Left in a world where no one cares the way you do,

Where no one treats me the way you do,

To you, I come first even before you,

How can I get used to not having you,

I am dependant unto you,

The surrounding now black,

The air around still and tight,

Someone’s strangling my neck,

The thought itself makes me scared,

For I am weak with little to do,

All I can do is nothing,

Nothing I do can change a thing,

Everything I do will disprove nothing,

I am cursed being a human being,

For all I can do on my own is nothing,

An endless list of miseries awaiting,

Nothing scares me more than you leaving,

For I will battle the angel of death to death,

Oh Lord have mercy…

Do not take away the hope for living,

Verily I am weak…

The life of a human is tough indeed,

Proves my point that life is anguish indeed,

Sigh, I need a deeper understanding…

Thin Within

She has good eyes,

One that says, ‘look at me I am nice’

Innocence and pureness transcending delight,

Attracts and nurtures the vacant mind,

Hope then enters the man’s heart.


For one can dream in achieving great heights,

Attaining and grasping the masses respect,

For people these days are lost from the light,

Their lights shone are as black as night,

A stranger I am in society’s eye.


To have you is to have the world,

To have the world is to have you,

Surely thee cometh with a high price,

Still we compete and make fool of ourselves.


Verily this world is full of challenges,

The system evil in manipulating others,

From a child, sculpted to bow unto riches,

For help me I am lost chasing nothingness.

Modernization


Modernization is elevating,

Modernization signifies a country developing,

Modernization oh so uplifting,

Making these empty people believe in something,

A third world country is now uprising.


Modernization is not what it seems,

Making more money a human instinct?

Conveniently disregarding other living things,

They provide oxygen and essential things,

Taking things for granted…

We destroy the mountains and cut down the trees.


The weather these days are always moody,

My mind and soul constantly uneasy,

Although we come up with alternatives,

Soon there won't be honeys and no more ease,

Pollutions, congestions and eventual destructions..


Modernization maybe a necessity,

Building skyscrapers, developing new houses,

For centuries now man has been capitalizing,

Demanding more from the hand that gives,

Inviting disasters, contributed by their own hands,

A dark disastrous future is what I see.

Anda




A friend of mine gave me this link last night and after watching it...Let's just say I was pretty impressed hence i am uploading the clip. The performance itself was simple yet capturing. The lyrics were pretty deep as well. The camerawoman for this video must be really good. hehe

Messtake

Hm nothing to brag about, little to be proud of, not necessarily much. Lurking In a haze, I can see the large black clouds of sadness ready to engulf... Floating above, following my footsteps, ready to plummet and strikes it's best.

Sulking, soaking, marinating in uneasiness. I never wanted this kind of consistency.

‘There are so much more to live for, many things to look forward to. In a world where anything is possible, all you need are passion and desire.’ oh how long I stopped thinking that way; sooner or later they’re all futile, doomed to failure. As each day goes by you feel like a leaf drying up, life sucked out. In a stagnant diminishing mode, we then stop hoping for more and start hoping for nothing even worse to happen.

Ironically living a pretty hectic so called cheerful lifestyle, where people rejoice, where friends meet up and spend good times, while one keeps busy and get involved in many activities, cheering and taking pleasure in, yet as luck would have it deep inside there’s a deep, dried up well, filled with mysteries, all you get are the echoes from your voice. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to fill it up with light. Murky and dark with a pungent unwelcoming scent, I dare not thrust into this dried up well. Not being ungrateful, just trying to fill in the annoying gap.

People all over self centered, oblivion, selfish and absurd. Doing things as they wish, as they perceive right when their knowledge of right and wrong, questionable. Distrustful, prone to betray, to let down and deceive with a penchant to not reveal the true self right from the start... Do unravel and reveal, to disclose not withhold, fill us in with knowledge and truth, so then we’d be informed on the true self that you are but mere human innately, one who comes in a package of mischief and trickeries.

I notice this man walking and hopping at the same time, no there’s nothing wrong with him just something peculiar about the way he walks. Walking and hopping at the same time, seems funny, but I can tell he’s having fun, walking and hopping emitting joyousness. I lick on my ice cream, unable to appreciate its taste, cooling effect or the pleasure it brings along. All there is is the physical act of finishing an ice cream.

He needs a bath, a shower, a quick nap, and some kind of dessert to calm the self. No matter what he does, these short escapisms, comes into abrupt realization. Now this is funny, an act of curiosity adjoined with desperation he finds himself looking for some soothing music.

In the end there is me standing above my dark well feeling unwell, not yet ready to dwell, I picture myself falling in and then I picture myself not taking the plunge. But already in front I witness a bigger tunnel, vaster, darker, damp and echoing…I now can hear the sound of a distant train chooing, I look down at my feet observing that they stood there standing on the middle of a track.

Storeys

When someone is not as lucky as you are, you try to help him, not mess with him… As we were all sitting there, some with their drinks and some waiting for the food they’ve asked for. A friend who ordered fried rice got his food and the portion on the plate was, ‘enough to feed 3 people’ as he mentioned. We continued talking and sipping on our drinks. It was already late and all I could think of was tomorrow and how I had to wake up early to head out for work. Needless to say thinking of work conjures up ill feelings. I am not sure why, most days things aren’t too strenuous, I suppose I shouldn't say things like that and risk jinxing myself. Back to the subject, this guy then after finishing his ‘nasi goreng for 3’ obviously drunk of rice said, ‘do you want this?’ he offered the garnishing on the side of the plate to another friend who almost nodded. Needless to say I voiced out my opinion and it wasn’t delicate.

Story2

The other day this middle aged couple came over, it was peculiar and just caught us off guard. The man then came up to us and proceeded to ask for money, there was some hesitancy in his voice and body language…normally we wouldn’t think much and spare some for the poor guy. We don’t care about what they’d do with the money, whether they were con artists or whatever…well we would probably feel offended if they used the money for drugs or abusive stuff. We were seated at the end of the table and our ‘man bag’ was placed on the centre of the table. We are not trying to make excuses. We really did feel bad of what happened.

The man then proceeded to say, ‘makan, makan’ while gesturing with his hand. How can one deny when someone says that? Our friends don’t mind spending hundreds of ringgits to get drunk and the lame drinks they ordered were almost 20 ringgit each. We should’ve and would’ve given him some money…but we didn’t want our friends seeing us doing that. Though we are over that, we wouldn’t act the same way again. Btw we sound like Gollum haha

Story3

Time and time again while conversing with certain friends. We spread this imaginary sheet of problems and we poke through it and examine it, in hope that a miracle would happen and we’d be able to put an end to this issue. For example things like, ‘how to have an eased mind’. We then drift off by talking on how certain view sees/believes in solving it. Though history proved that some actually believe in their methods, and it might’ve worked out for them, but it might not have the same effect to the normal man like you and I. The constant bickering on why one feels the gap, the emptiness, the alone-ness. Where one feels the void, lack of motivation, the objective of life seems pointless so redundant. Only ends up with the familiarity of misery and mystery.

Time and time again while discussing on the cause of unhappiness and the solution for happiness I forget to realize. It could probably not happen when you’re one with the masses, metaphorically speaking that is.


Suffering is pretty much inevitable and I have reached a stage where I want to accept that life is more to suffering while the rest are just things u do to avoid that suffering. However being a normal human; this becomes an argument and a scuffle within the self, where one says, ‘I knew something like this would happen' trying to accept and the other, ‘Shit! This is not happening to me!’

Poem Upheaval

Elderly people so full of follies,

Invoking clear doubts in my deities,

Elderly people full of follies,

A lonely life, oh bad memories,

Faces that masks, but at times it reveals,

The emptiness that lies deep within.


Adult men with power and social superiority,

A loser inside, encircled by inferiorities,

Chasing this ‘security’,

More things to lose more insecurities,

A sad-sad story, won’t you learn from history?


A suit, a tie, a high-ranking position,

12 hours a day, aspiring more and more everyday,

Increasing in riches, elevating in status,

What are you trying to accomplish?

Really! Who are you trying to astonish?

Been programmed by this dumb, brainless society.


The men today I have nothing to say,

In big organizations with a role to play,

A puppet controlled by an idiot with a fortunate pay,

The corporate world ooo gives everyone the shiver,

Hey look at me I am seeing people!

A rat race in dominating, conquering and capitalizing


The life is cruel; happiness a mere anticipation,

A test for real, everyday is derailed,

For ‘hope is the root of all evil’,

What is really my endeavor?


No plans to upheaval

What is real and what is unreal?

The things one does for survival.

Selling the soul to the devil,

No need to put me in hell when I hath expire,

When I die, simply place me back into this world.

Rocky Rocking



Sometimes I think that being him must be real fun. Though a nuisance to most people, I still think aside from being a nuisance to others, he's still fun, bold and real. I guess I see his attitude on disregarding everyone is something to look up to; to a certain extent that is. Oh and the rocky music never gets old. One of the main reasons on why I chose this clip from the rest.


Conscience

Past thoughts encircling I can feel a beckoning, a sort of signaling of something frightening. Sitting freely in an imaginary sanctuary—the imprisonment in the body suffocating the breathing.

Wittgenstein said, ‘the limit of my language is the limit of my world.’ and “we keep running up at the walls of our cage.” We keep running at the walls of our cage I said once in my head and once out loud. In a far distant place in my mind a voice seem to emanate a shout like, the greatest philosopher of the 19th century…followed by a different voice, a German faggot oh nonetheless. Both of the voices then started arguing.

“Weren’t we the civilization of reading? But how did a civilization founded on reading forget the act of reading?” Kahlid Abu Fadel

More and more I detest people. Though I am sure I’ll miss them if they were gone. These people that make the world go round. Oh the sheer sight when the eye set on them it’s as if I see through them, able to read their mind; conflicting, dumbing, shallow and un-interesting. Solitude –the mere thought already appealing leaves one craving.

Like a wild animal in a cage, entertainment to the people who pays, to live in enslavement, prejudice and corruption. They point their fingers whilst superior in a bigger cage.

The man made hierarchy, an unjust institution, of stupid insinuations, upheaving the selfish industrialists; Wolves’ cladded in sheep’s clothing. Albeit under circumstances, the self too caught up in the web of the corporation in the hope to make a living.

My path still clouded, my oath misguided—lurking and looking to be embraced by the light striving in battles more losing than winning. My thirst not quenching, my hunger not subsiding, I close my eyes, my fingers drowned into my hair, my palms over my eyes trying to comfort the unhappy self.

“There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible, as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man” -Polybius.

'Note to Self'

In the midst of confusion—of people wanting to be accepted and recognized I notice inferiority complex and stupidity. Of course I say this when I witness them lashing out absurdities derived from ignorance and idiocy. I even see people coming out of their unaccepted, frail shells trying to take this opportunity to impress the rest. Why prove yourself in the first place? Stop proving yourself to others I even say to myself.

To you so called, self proclaimed, ‘well thought’ liberals:

God has promised those who alter God’s word unmitigated enmity and inevitable destruction (4:46, 5:13, 10:64, 18:27). Those who say about God what they do not know or what they are not authorized to say are held by God in utter contempt (2:80, 7:28, 10:68).

And a quote taken from the respected Abou Fadl, “The truth is the devil often works through the cover of piety. Often if u peel the shell of piety, you can see the devil grinning contently.”

I say this as a reminder to myself, don’t be too full of yourselves.

"Learn to know thyself! He who has understood himself has understood God "
-The Prophet-

Takraw

Things are going pretty well? Not really but its better than before certainly – is this just a short pause or as they say it, the calm before the storm, until something big happens? The emptiness still visits often… leaving him in despair and caught in claustrophobic darkness. The material world filled with tests, pain and struggle. Only the act of thinking of the omniscient and the omnipotence does solace and gratitude resurfaces.

Most of the time paranoia, a despicable close companion constantly a reminder on what and what could and might eventually happen. The soul shivers from the thought that its own mind delivers.

Though he had found what is important and gives him a sense of living but everything else are enablers, that enables him to continue walking into the journey of learning.

This is a reminder; as a friend would – a repetition to look at the bigger picture, do not be afraid of your superiors, and remember your dreams and the bigger goals. What we are doing here are enablers that enable us to do of what is of most importance to us though not entirely all significant to this world. One sacrifices a bigger part of his self and time so that when he has that little time, he could use it to realize his most important dream…

The perils, the faces and the phases one is put through, never easy to the human eyes, each one his own universe, with his own beliefs and perceptions…Despite the fact that most are short sighted, easily taunted and a product of conjectures.

The sinking of the heart, the trembling inside, and insecurity that leads to emptiness. Like a dark cloud blurring the vision, focusing on something of insignificance – All these feelings and emotions corrupting the mind, deforming it and weakening and encourages one to go astray.

And as usual the struggle goes on, walking down the path with thorns and fears of all kind all around, ever so carefully especially from the subtle whispers that most of the time goes unaware of. It is known that the self encompasses of both good and evil, man capable of both good and evil… To be in constant control and tame the self within. A duty for the ordinary man—to extend his hand, to what he's preaching.

Merely Quoting

Seeing that I don’t really have the leisurely time to come up with my own fiction for the time being…this time around, I decided that I would just quote others in their beliefs and thoughts. This however would probably be the first part of perhaps a couple more. The Subject, mainly being on the ways and beliefs towards the pursuit of happiness, according to some highly esteemed people.

My purpose in writing this is mainly to share with others on how people have different beliefs and methods of thinking. I have always been interested in people and the way they think and how diversify and interesting thoughts can get. By knowing these thoughts, I am assuming one would be more opened and be able to reflect on their own beliefs and perhaps study themselves and their beliefs a little more.

According to the Spanish philosopher Seneca, happiness can only be achieved by having a sound mind in constant possession of its soundness; then a brave and energetic mind. Which is also gifted with the noblest form of endurance; able to deal with circumstances of the moment..Everlasting freedom and tranquility follow once we have banished all that vexes and frightens us.

Emboldened by the stoic belief that happiness is independent of mere circumstance, he accepted the ’blessings of fortune’ without embarrassment or shame, yet remained fully prepared to relinquish them a t a moment’s notice.

On a different note, Marcus Aurelius the Roman explains that happiness feels more like wrestling than dancing because it requires us to, “stand prepared and unshaken to meet what comes and what we did not foresee.”

Epicurus said, ‘Those who least needs extravagance enjoy it most. The happy man is not he who drinks when thirsty but he who has no thirst. It is not that we want food, drink and shelter (although that’s how we appear to feel) but we want not to be hungry, not to be hungry and not to be cold; we become truly happy not when we satisfy our desires but in the next moment: the moment we realize there are no desire left to satisfy.”

Lucretius a student of Epicurus, on addressing the people said, “Their ‘greatest joy’ was to stand aloof in a quiet citadel, stoutly fortified by the teaching of the wise, and to gaze down from that elevation on others wandering aimlessly in a vain search for the way of life, pitting their wits against one with unstinted effort to scale the pinnacles of wealth and power of joyless hearts of men! O minds without visions.”

Cicero on Epicurus who have claimed to become insensitive to pain while having memories of conversation with close friends said, “No memory however ecstatic can prevent anyone from feeling pain. A man exposed to unbearable heat does not comfort himself by remembering that he once took a cool bath.”

This from one of the Indian kitabs entitled, Yoga: path to happiness

“An old Indian story tells of Viveka, a new born prince, whose enemies in the royal household put him into a basket and sent it floating down the river. The infant was rescued from death by a peasant couple who raised him as their own. (This is the story of Mosses but with the social classes reversed.) Unaware of his true birth, Viveka nonetheless suspected that he had come from somewhere else, because his true mother, true family and true home all appeared to him in dreams. On his sixteenth birthday he left to search for them. After journeying for more than seven years, he found his way back to his true home. When he reached the royal palace, where his family had waited so long for his return, he discovered that the king his father, had died. Viveka knew that he was now king, yet struggled to find his kingly nature; raised in a world of poverty and hardship, he knew only how to be a peasant, overtime, and under the patient guidance of his teachers, Viveka cast off his comfortable yet mistaken identity and embraced the strange new reality of the person that, unbeknown to himself, he had been all along.

Of course, Viveka is not a real person, and there never was a peasant who, by some outrageous good fortune, turned out to be a prince. Viveka cannot be real because he is something more than real: he is an archetype, a revealing pattern for the course of human life. In this pattern of separation and reunion we might recognize, perhaps to our astonishment that we ourselves feel divorced from our true nature and long to be reunited with it. Viveka’s mythical search through the jungles of north india is the symbol of our actual search for our true but hidden self, yet waiting for us to find it, waiting for us to come home.”

I’ll end with this paragraph derived from Ramakrishna

“Man is always restless; always moving from place to place…fact that he is dissatisfied with his finite nature shows that it is not his natural condition. The fact that he has infinite ambition, that he has insatiable hunger for more and more, proves that he is infinite by nature.”

Feel free to come up with your own opinions and probably agree on the quotes you find agreeable. Thank you.

Manggis

Mysterious on the outside,

Green, purple, brownish and red,

A mystery you are, till your ugly skin is pressed and spread,

Like a diamond covered in a blood bounded ball,


White, pure, perfectly shaped in slices of eights,

And again a portrayal of the ugly side,

Sticky, foul, ill mannered, I contemplate,

Reminds me of a girl I used to date,


Sweet and memorable when the taste buds get a taste,

But more than often infested with insects and pests,

Most of the time only pleasant to the visible eyes,

Till the foulth hath gone into the mouth,

you realized you've misinterpret,

And just like a fly, you keep inviting yourself back again.

Updates!


Hello people! Yes I know I haven’t been updating my blog. Not that I don’t have things to write about. Hmm…Imma goona choose to blame this on work, I’ve been assigned to newer tasks at work ergo causing me difficulty to slack off. Yea I know, sucky-sucky.

So instead of spending time writing and consuming myself with constructive thoughts that leads to an eventual bitter view on things, I have to work instead. Yes, agony! haha.

I’ve been writing stuff in my sketch book and occasionally jotting down stuff that I’d like to turn into entries. So I would like to think that I would come up with an entry soon enough.

At the moment I am reading a reely good book called, ‘the conference of books’ by Khaled Abou El Fadel regardless of the beautiful way of putting words into writings, which made reading more lucid and enjoyable. The important messages/ experiences conveyed and on proper understanding of stuff.

What really stirred, incited, evoked and motivated me was when I read about how the author gave details on the importance of reading. Well I could explain more about it, but you would probably not share the same sentiment. So if you could get a hold of the book, you would know where I am coming from. It would be safe to assume that I am more inspired and self assured or in other words I was encouraged to make reading one of the main priorities in life.

On a different note, I am not sure if you’re aware of my Stop Littering group but lately I’ve been talking with people who share the same interests, who are more devoted and better organized than I am. In the near future in the event of things working out, I’d be joining hands with these guys and work on necessary things.

Again jumping out of topic, I know this is pretty prudish, but if you have constructive reading materials, do let me know so that I can borrow it from you hehe. It gets pretty boring reading stuff and having no one to share and talk with, on the book that is.

I’d also like to say that I am pretty weary and not in favor of the way things are. But I guess, it reminds me on whom I am and where I am living in, a weakly, dependant human. Nevertheless, my survival skills or luck has been pretty impressive, so here is to a stronger more filled with wisdom life in the future.

Wow, who said I couldn’t rant? Haha. Imma gonna leave you guys with this clip which obviously I find interesting, enjoy!

p.s. damn clip took sooo long to download and then to upload, you better like this! So please go, ‘soobarashii!’ when you're done with it haha

Gatsuby!


Hm say what you want and i know i've been going on and on abt this commercial, but this is a diff one from the last one..and even better! the tune is sangat catchy btw haha


Bitter in Error

A hint of a smile,

When your eyes sets on mine,

A grin spread across your face,

Enlightening and divine…

Only these thoughts constantly fixed on my mind.


For a moment there,

All troubles seem to fade away,

In a fantasy world of you and I,

Just the two of us leaning in, so endearing


A Temporary getaway,

Perhaps escapism or a hideaway,

For before I gain wisdom,

Your presence alone lies in mind


But reality being a stronger force,

Awakens us with an abrupt force,

Treacherous, corrupt, malignant and self-centered,

Wretched and withered,

away with my peace of mind


All pretty on the outside,

A joyous view to look at,

Everybody acknowledges,

Oh you the public delight!


Humbled I am, into feeling this way,

Dazzled by beauty, forgetting equality,

Though I am a man, still appealed to splendor,

A dreamer, a hopeful, a daylight dreamer


Seeing I see not,

Hearing I hear not,

Judgments went wrong,

Instincts in error,

No need to construe further...?

SunnyDay Knot

In the distant future a war broke out between a big country and an even larger one. Needless to say, the consequences were devastating. The war changed the world, as we knew to a dissimilar almost unearthly place. Many today see this war to be one of the most significant turning points in the current post postmodern history.

There were many who predicted and prophesized that in the year 2012 something astonishing would happen--apocalypse, massive destructions, natural disasters and the likes… indeed many incidences occurred, one of them however was more wondrous than disastrous; Kate Beckingsale, Scarlet Johansson and Emma Watson got married to the same guy, a once ordinary Asian dude, who plays football and who gets afraid of the dark sometimes.

Back to the subject, in 2012 something terrible happened to the Sheikh and his brothers who owned Man city; they went penniless. And like dominos, the same happened to the other oil dwelling countries. This is believed to be one of the main reasons that prompted the war.

On the bright side, there was still enough oil to maintain the current demands and to keep things moving along for a couple more years. But Instead of saving whatever fuel that is left, these countries went berserk and cultivated plans to own oil reserves from other countries. Thus they used whatever oil they had with them in their all out war against terror, or so they proclaimed.

The war went on for what seemed a lifetime. For day and night they fought nonstop the war gradually and as expected began to spread. Needless to say it was a moment of growing chaos and uneasiness.

Other countries one by one started showing their stand and supports. This succumbed to an all out war. Almost every single country had a feud with another. This war would be known as ‘World War, The Fall of humanity.

The war went on for nearly a year until on a gloomy Wednesday around 21 o clock, Something unexpected happened, to everyone’s shock; during this time of war and obliteration a meteorite hit a part of the earth and caused nearly a quarter of the whole world’s population to perish. The world now had a deficiency, a hole in it. It was no longer round, no longer oval in shape.

The war ended the very next day. People were devastated and terrified. The larger country that was the other main protagonist in this war became non-existent due to the meteorite hitting it. Some was convinced that it had to be the wrath of God.

In the coming years like most things in history, people came to know of the meteorite or the punishment of God as a conspiracy. One country invented a new powerful bomb that was made to appear and act like a meteorite and was obviously able to cause a colossal amount of destruction.

This fact was hidden from the outside world for so long by the country that invented the bomb so as to not receive bad press from the media. Though a few years later, someone felt the need to gloat about it and leaked the video of the bomb making process on itube, the scientist who built it posted it. He went by the name, Jerry Einstein.

A year went by and People were still predicting that it was only a matter of time till the world came to an end given the damage that it has been through and judging from the current state that it’s in.

Presumably, One would think that the citizens of the world would be nicer to each other or focus on leading a peaceful life with one another. That didn’t happen though. Humans were forgetful and spiteful.

Their forgetfulness amounted to separations and segregations. There were 2 groups one was powerful, and the other weak. Although the human population was at its lowest in history, hatred accompanied by pride and greed was still running strong.

It came to a point where one group didn’t want to be in the least bit similar to the other. The dominant with their new inventions would try to detach them-selves in whichever way they could from their weak peers.

There were also no fat people in the world anymore, on one side they had the advancement and technologies to remain fit and had the perfect body they always wanted. On the other they just lacked food.

In Recognition to the war, Desperate men in times of war and calamities often come up with new amazing inventions and due to the already advancement in technology; these inventions appeared unreal and one that defied human nature. They were now working on the manipulation of the human organs. Despite the investments, sacrifices and effort made, the results were not credible. However In the year 2016 they did manage to change the color of blood, I’ll come to that in the next paragraph or the subsequent one.

In refuting these inventions and means of separation, a statesman from the weak side obviously, in his speech said that humans are mortals no matter what means they used to appear inhumane or immortal. Towards the end of his speech he stated, ‘people disregarding how powerful, beautiful or how much they try to distinct themselves from the rest, when they need to excrete, they have two options, either sit or squat.’

This same man, A few years before in his speech said, ‘we are all the same inside’, the other side then confronted and disproved him by changing their blood colors from red to every other color there was in a rainbow. They could pick any color.

His speech hit them like a huge earthquake it shook and hurt their egos. Upon hearing it they immediately requested and funded a team to research for alternative methods to excrete. They also had the statesman canned in public before sending him to his death. They had enough of rebels and wanted to make him as an example. The speaker however became an icon for his beliefs and his bravery. His name… was Mahmood Gandi.

Several months after the death of Mr. Mahmood Gandi, the powerful side gave birth to a new magnificent invention; the ‘Capsule toilet’. One merely had to take off their clothing and lay down as if they were sleeping and do their business. It was pretty huge, like a larger version of a tanning bed. They merely had to go in with their pants off.

It was exactly like a capsule; it had a door handle to it, obviously after you were affirmed as the user of the capsule by the capsule’s system first. And in the inside there was a compartment shaped exactly for the user alone. In other words it was customized for one person alone. In addition to these people being high and mighty, they had to make it extravagant.

They added many functions and features to it. One could do pretty much everything one wish to in it. It was air-conditioned. And by either using verbal commands or by tapping on a the specified button, one could; eat, Nap, shower, watch TV, go on the internet (watch porn), play games, call a friend or a family member and of course use it as a toilet. There were many other applications in which, if the user had found a liking towards, could just have it downloaded.

It was really elegant and fashionable looking. The price of this machine was the equivalent to several posh houses. It was the ‘in’ thing during these times. The catch phrases used for marketing purposes were: ‘heaven in a capsule’, ‘Now you can really have the ‘space’ you always wanted’ and ‘I lie down to do my businesses, inhumane!’

In the frenzy of the spreading of this trend amongst the Powerfools, People started to be more and more distant with others, to the extent of neglecting their already neglected family members. This problem then exponentially started to worsen…when they refused to come out. At first they were in it for a day or so, but then they started to fall in love with their new home and one day turned to two and like that the numbers increased.

Something peculiar then occurred, one after another in their special confinements started dying in their customized new home. This feature however wasn’t stated in the manual, but seeing that it seemed appropriate and already convenient for use. And knowing that they would’ve wanted it, the deceased were buried in with their expensive capsules.

The weaker side believed this occurrence to be the wrath of God. But the mightier side believed it to be a terrorist conspiracy or even a coincidence. In the cemetery, a friend of the deceased was giving a speech, “we believe that we are gods and the weak have to believe in a God, because they are too weak to depend on their own and to him alone they could confide in and seek for help. What else does that says, but an acceptance to one’s weakness.”

Selamat Hari Raya

I don't mean to be a buzz kill. Having said that, you know it is going to be a buzz kill, a complete spoiler and a distasteful commment. Try not to take it that way though. This is just something I noticed, I noticed that its more about culture, tradition and hereditary.

Do you know




yea i keep asking myself that too...