(^&^)


Pants, gasps more air to withstand?
Strands of stances, he intends to land,
Stands with a lance,
Strained in his hands,
They thought it was a dance,
And muttered, ‘no offence’


The sunlight shines,
The moonlight, kind,
Developing the mind,
A sign for mankind,
The man shines,
He fails to fathom the signs,
Then Indeed he is blind



Tired he pants,
A life span ends,
A lifetime spent,
He recounts all the times he vent,
Material world, deceiving all kind,
But they have not time,
They were busy chasing happiness in the shape of coins,
He stands with stains,
With regrets and no gain,
Society oh what a surprise, designed and stained
I keep repeating this, to what gain?
Well he is in shackles and chains,
He strains only to be consoled by the pain that stinks and leaves behind stains which strains and he fails to restrain he is deranged and he drains his thoughts in the drain when it rains.


My scalp always itches
I itch for stability and dishes
Often afraid of ending up in the ditches
The duchess they were caught in snickers
My fear needs stitches,
Why be afraid of glitches?
Who has his fate in his clutches?
It crashes and crushes?
Will we hide in the bushes?
True faith grants peace and all wishes,
For those who are blessed with an insight,
Which incites truth and admonishes the malicious.











2



Too much time,
Too little space,
Too little time,
Too vast of a space,
Too much sense,
Too much comprehension,
Back to, too little that I sense,
Too dense,
Too much of an idiot with too much comprehension,
Too much of an idiot with too little comprehension
Too little answers,
To whom do you answer?
To the self who is the owner of the self?
Too…
I talk too much,
Too self-absorbed,
All this and more to what extent?
To discover true love, do you not understand.

July


I've been wanting… was told to write something more positive but  every time I place my magical fingers on me keyboard with the intention of writing something optimistic…I guess I need to put  more effort into it.  It’s not like I am a negative person, everyone who knows me know how bubbly and cheerful of a person I am in real life, right? Okay…Therefore I thought I would post some pictures instead. Pictures of flowers and fruits, how much more positive can it get? I’ve been pretty good too in case anyone’s wondering. Ahh! the realization of a monologue taking place haha.  Enjoy the pictures…Oh! Before I forget, happy fasting and may this Ramadan be better than the previous ones. :)



















c(^ -


Thoughts mere thoughts
Thoughts important thoughts
Thoughts pure thoughts
Thoughts, thoughtful slots,
Thoughts plagued thoughts
Thoughts, good against evil thoughts
Thoughts of what I sought
Thoughts for what I fought
Thoughts my mother taught
Thoughts of what my religion taught

Thoughts of which that people spout
Thoughts when their faces pout
Thoughts of the minds that are dim and stout
Thoughts a single man’s thought
Thoughts when there’s a draught
Thoughts when flowers sprout
Thoughts, caught in my thoughts
Thoughts…imprisoned by thoughts
Thoughts, existing, extinct, proof of existence thoughts
Thought forever thoughts
Thoughts, sad, depressing thoughts
Thoughts are Immortal? Thoughts?
Thoughts, throughout and out, aloud and resilient thoughts
Thoughts, threw out some thoughts
Thoughts, but I thought…
I thought! Who cares what you’ve thought?!

Thoughts, the pure ones are clogged
Thoughts, corrupted ones are not blocked
Thoughts rulers are stocked
Thoughts rulers, they flock
Thoughts, rulers, the corrupted ones are stout and not blocked

Thoughts shouldn’t be affected by thoughts?

Thoughts, life’s plot
Thoughts, they don’t stop.







{}



Average, why not average?
Soothing and comfortable, a cold beverage,
Minimum wage?
Strange,
Who is deranged?
Judged and staged,
Come on, Gather courage!
Freedom in a cage,
Rage and enraged..
Garbage,
.
.
.
Aged…
.
.
.
Dead...gaged



llllllllll


This game again and again, what little has he gained?! Churning and vomiting what a sad man. A minute of silence for him then. Regaining and losing solemnly in disdain, anyhow isn’t it weird, it keeps coming back over and over again. Restrain! I am of a spiritual saint, weak! All of his boasting and thoughts pave way only to shame. The old men looked at him as if his face is stain. What people? Who cares about foolish people!? He does which adds more stabbing to the veins. 

Ashamed and forsaken in this biased world, some are born happy and some sad, disdain, misery, pain… apologies didn’t mean to whine but the mind is occupied with this terrain. You are happy, stay away from this place, he has this gift of expanding pain, you may not want to walk on murky terrain, what do you understand?

His teachers protected in a different space are writing about the pleasure of being a slave, they write about the sweetness they found in their struggles and pain. They have gone beyond being a mere traveler; In possession of acceptance, wisdom and selflessness—a gift precious than gold and emeralds.

Unlike them his expressions, thoughts and words are flaws of his characters. His teachers are busy acquainted with praises of the Creator. He remains self-absorbed and conscious of his stature. What a failure, playing with words trying to create his own signature.

Hunger of knowledge and understanding all that surfaces instead are anger. When the stomach is empty it just needs food and it is satiated but the heart while empty you fill it with this and that, that and this…unquenchable it seems. The soul although fed with nourishments and vitamins remains haggard begging for light, peace and ease…restless is the being. He becomes afraid and paranoid to the extent that he thinks, accursed it seems.

However, this morning he had a different expression. He looked pale; he appeared drained of energy and a different kind of sadness shown in his eyes even worse than previously.

He started talking, ‘last night I had a dream...the type of dream that is most disturbing.’ He proceeded to tell me something that even disturbed me. It went on like this,

 “After some introductory nightmares which aren’t worth mentioning the type that keeps the adrenaline pumping, the type that makes you wake up exhausted…and then suddenly I was at a playground close to my old house. I was with my mother and it was early in the morning, the morning dew absorbed into the skin. She said, will you continue to love me when you’re grown up? I said I will remain the same and never grow up. She rubbed my face with her palms and replied, ‘but look at you, you are already grown up’. I paused a little, looked at myself and as disappointment enveloped me,  I unknowingly walked ahead onto the playground and after a few steps I looked back and my mother was gone…I turned and raced back and returned to my home. My mother was there, I was overcome by happiness and relieved; it was evident in my panting face. She then told me, ‘I just wanted to see if you’d notice when I am gone’ I woke up shattered, my world hath crumbled, the end of days had conquered, all that is left is judgment. All my complaints and troubles appeared to be gone.

 I realized all that is important to be grateful for the gift and love that we have. Treasure, wealth, stability are important but none comes close to love, none can supersede love.” He finished talking and looked at me sharply and then he smiled. Slowly he began evaporating, I noticed bits of him vanishing until there was nothing of him left.

I opened my eyes with the weight of a mountain on my chest. I was late for work, the image of my boss flashed in front of my face. Though my work was now trivial, I could care less of being late or even fired.
Fear and gratitude filled my heart,
Troubled and helpless the weak man is,
Constantly living in fear and distraught,
Constantly dependent, powerless and at loss,
Awaiting wisdom,
 obedience and light to fill this empty heart...


3



Everyday as I go by I see cut down trees, every fallen tree took years to complete and now they fall deceased, like dead men forgotten and forsaken though soon new trees arises, inhales carbon dioxide and exhales oxygen and here we are cutting down trees that makes the city breathe.

The condition of the city scorching in heat, polluted and noisy, what an unfortunate epidemic. The people stressed, uneasy and angry yet we still continue cutting down many trees. Sometimes it is out of necessity but for every tree we cut down how many more do we breed?

For the rich to stay in greed, the poor has to bleed. For which rich man am I going to be cut down? Like the trees cut down and left to bleed, deplete…

The rich, despite their wealth remain poor with values for they live a life of no value but false values. Money buys respect and happiness from those who are slaves of superficiality. Open your eyes, the best things in life are free, don’t be programmed by society, being rich is just an endless cycle of greed. The society tainted with horrendous qualities, judging happiness from the houses they built. The best of man led a simple life, yet we follow the accursed pharaohs in the lives we lead.


Trees are being cut down, forests being wiped out, demolitions straight out, nations divided and focused on dreaded thoughts, how much longer will the world exist? Destructions daily in many parts—be it trees, forests, seas, cities and lives being killed—at any cost. We still think our lives are going to last, objectifying money and fussing over our neighbors’ thoughts.

The best of man lived a simple life. He didn’t chase wealth even when wealth came running to him. To us, however his life seems not good enough. ‘Money is not everything’. I remind myself profusely and time and time again try to instill sense into my brain. Though my brain is filled with greed and keeps daydreaming about a fortress and of a rich life and of the amounts of likes and of the new friends I would attract and of the acceptance I’ve always expect. Such is the stupid, shallow and misguided. Dead is his heart and empty is his head.

“If we stop worshipping money and stop entrapping ourselves in life-long debts, we could make peace with ourselves and live a more pleasant life.” I say to myself, “I don’t know if I will eventually heed my own advice.”

In any case, stop cutting down them trees!






 

White Round Thing


Here I am again on this familiar slate,
Where darkness once again cheers me,
The eyes left closed,
Afraid of what this reality might boast,
My eyes are hurting and my mouth gaping

Across the night,
A white round thing,
Radiant and boasting, a bright white thing,
All I witness is a white round thing,
Ignorant of what this significant thing,
Gravity, waves and a whole lot of other things,
I take for granted and only see a lamp kind of thing

The sun and the moon,
Each running on its appointed time,
But all I know is,
I can’t stare at the sun but the moon,
Despite being a reflection of the sun, the moon,
I see and yet see just a white round thing

Those who know and those who don’t,
Are they then considered equal?
Here is then the looming man,
Not necessarily blooming,
Wondering hopingly,
Inviting dead,
Yet not know a thing.  


















Hello,

How are you? Everything is good, I hope. I talk about the weather when I can’t think of what to say. It’s awfully dark here, though it’s not awful at all. I guess I prefer it to be less sunny, I don’t know.  I guess this would suffice as a blog entry. I hope you had a good time... 

Neither/Nor


And so after all the years and threads of words scribbled and expressed—on various things under the influence of many moods and themes that which when combined accumulates to nothing but sometimes discreet, sometimes indiscreet conveyance of an expressive being.

Naturally, after all this, they say what does it all mean?! Nothing but empty addressing without any solid reasoning, worse still without any solutions not even suggestions they say mocking.

And so despite all the complaining, whining which were certainly annoying…despite all that.. the realization of a weakly being never quite left the writer’s mind. He knew he wasn’t able to come up with his own methods of problem solving. He fantasized of many things, coming up with a solution for mankind, not one them. He knew at the back of his there’s already a perfect system created by one perfect being.  

Though most people choose to be ignorant and blindly follow their idiotic whims or the whims of others and then consequently support these ideologies, theories and conjectures in imagining they could come up with a successful scheme. They failed and they continued to fail but in ignorance and arrogance they continue to follow their whims and so continued to scheme.

Even the great minds or those who thought of themselves as great minds have time and time again failed with their ideologies, propaganda, brain washing, or any type of ruling that when addressing the public was in the ‘interest of the people and their well being.’ All in all these so-called rulers tried, promised, experimented, executed and kept on failing. Till today no human mind can come up with an ideology fit for all mankind. While the best of path were already bestowed and shown to them yet they continue to mock and insult and ignore the ways of the praiseworthy.

A single man after all is a complicated being; two men make things more complicated. A whole nation, no matter how good the puppeteer is, he still won’t be able to corrupt and manipulate the whole lot. Such is man, such is man who tries to play god, such is man weak and a dumb lot. Again, man despite what I may think—are complex beings not easily controlled. When we have creations trying to manipulate and take control over other creations it can only lead to destruction.

Though today, they have come closer in controlling the average man in leading men into solid traps in the form of debts abd and interests. Men who closely believe in bowing to the repulsive, despicable and shallow acceptance of the society and in doing so entrap them for life in their daily jobs which they wholeheartedly feel they need in order to pay for unnecessary debts and mortgages. Such is the modern day trap; in order to survive one has to give up his soul to the ones in control.

Such is the man, such is the society and such is the state of the modern, ‘civilized’ world.

And so, you ask of which of these words you may grasp, choose and digest them into your life? Again I say, I am no problem solver akin to what you may think. Mere expressions, most of them frustrations, explosions due to helplessness and weaknesses; can’t u not see? There are no answers, no solutions that I put on forth but merely frustrations that for years now I have realized that when frustrations conveyed to even the closest friend he couldn’t bear to listen to the continuous complaints which soon became a nuisance hence writing them down helps more and proves to be a better option. Now even complaining in written form seems to bring about dislikes.

What essence? What methods? What art? What philosophy? I write as I see fit, I am filled with fault and weaknesses don’t expect me to impress you or elevate your intelligence. For I write not for such petty reasons. I am a slave, a follower despite knowing that I am weak and the urge to ‘let off steam’ arises hence these expressions.





I thought of updating my blog and then today, just now, I came across this beautiful story most probably with Arabic or Indian linkage.  Thus here I am updating me blog. This may be short but it leaves such an impression, a lasting one at that, that it makes one shudder at the metaphor. 

Upon an occasion a son was going to murder his mother . His lover told him that if he brings the heart of his mother to her then she will marry him. The delinquent then went and cut open his mother and removed her heart. As he was going back he tripped over and fell. His mother’s heart spoke out with love and said, “Oh my son are you okay?” The voice came from the heart saying, “Oh my son I hope you’re okay”.

Such is the son, such are girls and such are mothers. 

Some Soren


I don’t know if I am bored or have ran out of ideas. Though, I found the below quotes to be to my liking and I guess this is me implying that I like them so much that I might want to post it on my blog and perhaps even read about it later. 

I like Kierkegaard as I like a few other philosophers mainly due to their prowess in intelligence and their views that I can mimic agreeableness with which always causes me to be a little jealous and then causes me to reflect and then duress and a little bitter afterwards.

I like to think I refrained from reading philosophical books mainly because due to my limited capacity towards thinking. However with the little I understand has the ability to make me wonder to the verge of insanity, now I am just playing with words. 

I don’t think I prevent myself from reading anything interesting that can be easily reached. Having said that, for some reason these books are way too expensive probably meant only for certain classes and probably to prevent certain classes from reading these stuff as it could cause on to think and ponder and realize the type of world we are set in. Yes, I do believe all it requires is a little thinking to notice the state of the world and people that walks on earth.


I don’t think that you should think of what I think as a thing of permanence. However there are things that I am steadfast on, though I don’t sound like I am boasting, I actually…on second thoughts, no I wasn’t boasting. After all, circumstances have shaped my thinking, if the circumstances were different or were to be different then I might even change my way of thinking into not thinking at all? Such is man; forgetful, weak and cheap.

I, As much as I don’t care, my innately good self would like it if u were to like the quotes below and were to think a little about it and somewhat/how discover the deep scars that covers the world and the almost transparent temperament of people would make my innately good self even more friendly towards you. As much as the quotes might not be related to what I’ve just spewed. Anyways enough about me already.





‘What is a poet? An unhappy man who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music . . . 

And people flock around the poet and say: ‘Sing again soon’ – that is, ‘May new sufferings torment your soul but your lips be fashioned as before, for the cry would only frighten us, but the music, that is blissful.’


“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” 


“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. . . . My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known- no wonder, then, that I return the love.”

“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.”


“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.”


“The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God.”

“One must not think slightingly of the paradoxical…for the paradox is the source of the thinker’s passion, and the thinker without a paradox is like a lover without feeling: a paltry mediocrity.”

“How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it and why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?”

“What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?”

“Leap of faith – yes, but only after reflection”

“Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.” 

“It is the duty of the human understanding to understand that there are things which it cannot understand...”





Malle


It is raining outside. No, this isn’t one of my fictional stories…well it could be, but it really is raining outside. The sound of the raindrops, (I wish)—they seem like they’re washing away my unnecessary paranoia and dilemmas though every time I do so, I hear the raindrops slowly fainting away when in actuality they aren’t.

One of my teachers said to me, “the more you learn about this world the more closer you are to reaching insanity.” I am not in the mood to dwell further into that..hence we shall move on.

For a steady hour now the rain has been constant in its falling down.



Sleep!

Falling asleep gives one the pretence of peace,

Hurry, pretty soon it is going to be deceased,

The kid now has grown into an old geez,

Our good deeds, with what intentions and ulterior motives?

The plot, the puppeteers applaud their siege,

They seize and then pretend to appease the foolish,

The masses readily swallow rubbish.



I am now merely a rotten piece of meat,

Then I screamed with all sorts of squeals,

Agony, despair and dissatisfactory,

Now all buried in the depth of the sea,

Faith, fate and uncertainty,

The man gazes and finds himself dazed,

All the days passed by,

None with the knowledge,

Of what next might be,

Folly, forgetful, hopefully not strayed,

The journey comes to an end,

He has no idea when,

Right now it seems,

Immortality and well-being,

Forever this human being will remain in esteem,

Chasing dreams and living like foolish kings,

Until he falls asleep and stays in his dreams,

‘A mistake it has been!’

And so he deems,

Buried In the ground,

It is never what it seems.



The rain has stopped. I guess I was in the mood for poetry. It is too quiet here. I shouldn’t complain, quiet is good and also sleep inducing. Therefore I shall try to sleep early and hope to dream of flowers, gardens and pleasantries. Oh and hope to wake up to a good ending or to a good start. Thank you for reading.






Dear Dreary


Hi,

Yes, busy. No time to ramble...when I have time, I am either too tired or not in the mood. I dislike opening my emails on weekends and getting mail notifications from work. The New Year is moving faster than it did last year and I thought last year passed by like a flash.

I had something I wanted to write about, I wanted to say I forgot but as soon as I thought I forgot about it, it appears that I didn't. There is this really old Chinese lady whom I saw today, I noticed her walking and feeding the cats in the market. Perhaps the curiosity in my face was apparent, I was then told a little about her.  This old lady collects chicken heads that have been thrown away in markets, everyday. She takes the chicken heads, goes back and boils them chicken heads. She then comes back everyday in the afternoon and feed the cats in the market. No, It's not like she lives nearby; she takes a bus from somewhere pretty distant and comes at the same time and feeds them cats...everyday. 

Judging from the cats’ antics, one would notice that these cats were very familiar with her. Having said that, some people who have stalls or do business in the market, dislikes her doings and have warned her, perhaps even scolded her for feeding them cats. She is partly responsible for the increase of population among cats in that area, or so it has been thought/speculated.

There has been complaints’ regarding the increase of numbers amongst cats in the market. Word is, the local authority have collected around some 20 kittens and hopefully transferred them somewhere where they are still living... 

Regardless of who's right or despite what the truth might be. Some would say, some people like fishing, some people like gardening.... she needs a new hobby. On the other hand some would say, contributing to the increment of cats could pester some. I am sure you have something to say too. Though seeing that you can't now...I guess that just leaves me to voice out—my opinion.

My first impression upon hearing about her was, ‘there is still hope for humanity’. She might be wrong in feeding the cats and is probably responsible for making them cats lazy and not being able to hunt on their own. They might have even lost their touch in the art of ‘huntestry’.  I’ve been watching too many animal related documentaries.

I also did say that I have no time to ramble…

In reference to the first paragraph, I’ve been bringing back work to home lately. It’s not like I am not grateful or anything…but…having said that, the email hath reminded me that I need to get some work done.
I still can’t believe it’s March already. Yesterday I was still 12 and depressed. Today…let’s not even go there.

Back to the old lady, I found her doings inspiring and hopeful regardless of the consequences or whatever logic some might construe…when I saw here feeding them cats, I had respect for her.

My PC is getting more and more sensitive each day; it is true what they say about old people. I saw what I was trying to do…and let’s just say the ending of what the end might be, might not be sensitive nor appropriate…Hence, I wish it would just keep on working the way it usually does before 2012.  Right now, I have ill feelings for my computer. I don't care what you might think...computer.

I am sure I can come up with more interesting things to write about but alas! It is beyond midnight and in Malaysia even trains don’t operate this late. 

Tomorrow…today is Sunday and I hope to wake up early as to make it lengthier and worthwhile in consequent to being all productive and useful. I bid myself good night and you should do something more worthwhile. Byes.









Victim or

I think I have become one of those guys. You know, one that gives hope and then end up not being able to fulfil whatever task given to him.

I always have thought that I was a pretty darn good writer…well that was until I started writing for others. They give their opinions, want you to change your style and you know, you now basically write to satisfy others or what they think will be more satisfying for others.

To put it short, though it was a volunteer job…I in my bubble, lost the passion to write for the cause. Which I still support and believe in. I just got a dose of laziness that is preventing from submitting those works. To say, ‘shit happens’ is an understatement. It feels more like, ‘this shit never goes away’.

Who knows with a little effort I can bounce back or something positive like that. Though, it is a complete back-breaker, demotivational to be told to change one’s style and the format of writing.

Which could also explain why I have been…persistent in writing in my blog. Though I am not sure if persistent is the right word. Over here I can write, 'bla bla bla' and still consider it meaningful, well you get the point (speaking to myself).

As my boss walked towards his office just now, I noticed him turning his back checking up on me. Being more inclined and drawn to a pessimistic way of thinking, I’d say it wasn’t because he has started to recognize me. Well I shouldn’t care as long as I am able to complete the task given to me by him or so I think.

Speaking of being able to complete the task given to me, I reminded myself on how I still suck at ‘C’. A programming language that I have to teach/assist. I also feel the need to point out that instead of working on my problems; I am busy writing about it.

Don’t worry about it, I say to myself…

Erm, I think my writing of telling me not to worry for myself might have jinxed…myself...badly. As soon as I typed it, the IT head came in and I don't know under whos authority pretended to check my job and gave me a whole new horizon of work tasks. I could say I feel like crying but a manly person like me?

Now I am starting to think whether that was the reason my boss glanced back at me as he was heading to his room. Maybe he was feeling a little guilty for selling me out to another department whose head (the guy who checked on me) has been the talks of many disgruntled employees. That was my wish, albeit it could also be my good looks.

 However starting today, I am to give one hour of my time to assist the IT department. This is however a ploy, a sleazy tactic. Pretty soon I’ll be working for both departments. I am after all an avid reader of books pertaining of manipulation, conspiracy and sleazy tactics. Not wanting to boast, I too have the ability to glare at a person and read his mind. Some people think that I am awesome.

As the famous saying goes, ‘nothing awesome continues to write more’ I now need to conspire on how to survive…it could mostly be very closely related to being a good and adhering slave. As usual I self-sympathize. Remember me in your prayers.

p.s. That probably puts and end to the spirit of my wanting to bounce back on the volunteer job.

C




/*instead of learning though due to the current incapability to learn*/

/*I bring you this*/

/*Comments, comments, comments*/

Preprocessor, #include libraries ,

Main (), Int main (), main void (), void main (),

{{{ }}}

Functions called by other functions,

Arguments, multiple arguments, parentheses,

Brain paralysis, brain dead, static now stagnant,

Still, unproductive, motivation tumbling downhill,

Boss’s footsteps approaching, fear now lurking,

Compilers, functions, declarations, variables…

Statements must end with;

Semicolon, colonoscopy, painful memories,

If (understand ) {

Printf (“hooray!”);

Else (still don’t understand)

Printf (“read again and again”);

}

Scanf, scanf, can of ass,

User defined functions?!!

Curly brackets, int, char, double, float, count, if, else, while…

Modifiers: short, long, signed, unsigned…???

Arrays, trays, erase, oh God I pray!

Loop, loop, loop, aloof, aloof, lost and going in loops,

Statements, values, confusions, conducive to concussions,

Heartaches, nerds, geeks, make me one of you;

Int long, int short, int long long,

Once upon an integer,

\n \n \n ,\t,\\, print a back slash,

%d, %s, %c, %x,%u,%%,

>, <, ==, <=, =>;

Printf, printf, printf;

Lower case, upper case

For (a=1; a <= 5; a = a + 1)

{

For (b=1; b <= a; b = b + 1)

Printf(“%d”, a);

Printf(“\n”);

}

Output:

Error, Error,ERROR!

Oh the horror!

Though the optimist,

The protagonist will continue…

To endeavour…with hope however...? :)









When the poor stop dreaming of becoming rich, the world will then become a better place.



Close the doors to fantasies,

Shallowness and superficialities,

Ingrained it is in societies,

The men and women,

Programmed and clayed,

Brainwashed and molded,

Into stereotyping puppetries.



The ways of your fathers proven unworthy,

Sad and unhappy the world in entirety,

Living in luxury,

Yet peace? Alone but misery,

The world…

Poverty, disparity and adversity,

We pray not to stray from the straight path,

Yet we let our dreams pave a disastrous path.



Stop the oppressions,

First from within,

Turn off the TVs,

The world and all its glory,

No longer in his to do list,

The masses wake up!,

It is time to light up,

The poor must rise up,

Sincerity in every breath,

The end to disparity…

Emerges through piety.



I guess at this age we have from the seed we broke out from and from what we had been given have paved our paths, invested our lives and chose a path that ought to take us to what we’ve always dreamt of; Happiness and such. I have made mine and so have you, I hope that we will all during and towards the end of our journey be steadfast and satisfied with the life we have chosen for ourselves.

I pray I will remain on this path and become a lover of this way. It is also today part of my being to fear from straying off the path for that alone is enough to signify the beginning of a catastrophic ending.

Nurture


I remember when the first reality TV series, ‘Survivor’ took place in Pulau Sipadan, Borneo in the year 2000. The show was aired all over the world. We were proud of our country being displayed through television box sets in living rooms all around the world. Not long after that we also heard news on how magnificent and beautiful the island was. Praises upon praises were being mouthed on its splendor and magnificence.

 Having said that, due to lack of awareness and perhaps ignorance, we took it for granted, at least I did at that time.

However, over the years the realization and the importance of conservation/preservation of places like the Sipadan Island became instilled in me, particularly after witnessing other nearby islands, beaches, and rivers in the country being considered as unsafe and reputed for being dirty and unhygienic. Who knew vast places like this could be tainted by a single piece of plastic wrapper or an empty water bottle? It could when every single person who visits these places drops a plastic wrapper or an empty water bottle.  

It would be safe to assume that Malaysians in general love nature, natural excursions and expeditions; mainly because we were raised in a nature rich environment and our activities were very closely related with nature and involved nature.

Whenever there was a need to getaway or when the hustle and bustle of the stressful city life has taken its toll; we were never short of places to visit. We possess legendary waterfalls, mesmerizing beaches, exciting mountains and activities ranging from hiking, camping, water rafting, diving, fishing, caving, trekking and many more.

Not wanting to leave out the rich flora and fauna in our country—we are also a region blessed with a rich and wonderful flora and fauna that encompasses various unique species of plants, and animals.

Needless to say, we have and will always be dependent on nature to survive. People visit places like waterfalls, mountains, forests, beaches etc to recuperate, recharge, immerse in its beauty as to gain tranquility, and to calm their minds.

Having said that, in reference to the second paragraph, today there are a few places that were once well known for its beautiful beaches, clean rivers and calming waterfalls; are in the present considered an eyesore and even harmful to human. Hence despite the irony, we now have people discouraging others from visiting these places; instead of reacting more positively or responsibly. Surely we have forgotten that we were the reason of this misfortune.

We, over the years have been visitors to these places and little by little polluted them and corrupted them by introducing trash and dirtying these  beautiful places; in spite of being responsible in its rehabilitation we ignored them and have moved on to other ‘cleaner’ recreational spots. These places, today abandoned by most, reek of an unpleasant air, the beaches no longer clean, the corals diminishing and the water at the waterfalls are no longer safe to drink and in addition to that there are places infested with diseases such as malaria.

Sorry but I couldn’t help myself from drifting to another topic, today if we drive from one state to another we can observe how mountains are slowly being torn down, we could also monitor and compare how forests along the highways are being replaced by palm plantations.  Ever since I was little and on every road trip, I would witness forests being cut off and mountains torn down; even till today it’s still ongoing! It then occurred to me that every single day there are trees cut down; mountains torn up while other places recreational spots are being trashed and polluted. If one were to observe one’s surrounding, he/she would’ve noticed it too, if he/she hasn’t already on the amount of corruption that is presently going on.

How can we, after being so dependent and after gaining so much from nature continue to pollute and corrupt it? And to what extent?

Furthermore it is understandable; nobody likes unclean or polluted places. Though we are still oblivious that we are the cause of this gradual calamity. We like going to untainted and beautiful places, we pleasure ourselves but in spite of being grateful we continue to corrupt and pollute these places too!

It would be helpful if people were to realize that if this continues all of these gems in our country would eventually be reduced to places unfit for visitors.

Educating oneself on the disaster of littering, knowing the consequences of littering and its effect towards Mother Nature should be a good enough reason for people to refrain from littering, yet sadly that too has failed to prevent people from littering.

One must realize on how much a person is dependent and how much humanity as a whole relies on nature. Whatever our methods maybe one would probably start caring and paying more attention when one has the passion and love for it. We hope people; especially Malaysian citizens will start to love their waterfalls, rivers, beaches, mountains and all these blessings we have been granted and heavily rely on.

Loads of gratitude and appreciations to Government bodies, ngo’s like Waterfall Survivors for trying to educate and instill the importance of Mother Nature to the public.

We are all part of nature, it should be our part to love, care and preserve our environment. Everyone should be a part of it.

p.s. The Pictures below triggered me to come up with this particular piece. It was taken at a fishermen’s village somewhere around Klang. It is also said that trashes from all around comes to this place and makes its way towards the sea. The lines of trash on both sides of the river were more than a couple of kilometers long.

To be fair I will also include some pictures at the same place without the trash, which I was lucky enough to witness.

















I Rant


To my faithful perhaps non-existent readers here I am once again updating my beloved yet often neglected blog.

An old man I met told me to K.I.S.S (Keep It Short and Simple) he also said that writing is a form of expression, a sharing session. ‘This communication’ so to speak will only be purposeful if the reader could understand what the writer is trying to convey. He added that everyone writes for everyone else no matter how they try to deny it.

So here I am denying it. I am sure there is truth in what the old man said, he being a respected writer and a lecturer himself surely would know what he’s talking about. I on the other hand reprehensively said to him that I write to make myself feel better. I wouldn’t want anyone to understand my deepest thoughts and my emotions..though I guess there’s no secret there too.

Having said that, out of respect I’ll heed his advice and make this one K.I.S.S though actually I just plan to ramble on about random stuffs. I hope it’s okay with erm people…

A few months back I stopped playing football. Recently I started again, reason being…once your body is used to being exercised frequently, once you stop, one actually not only gains weight but also feels heavy and experience some kinda discomfort. I also don’t like when my pants get too tight.

Whenever I go to offices, banks, clinics, shops…it always troubles me to see how most employees often appear, well not exactly happy. It boggles me how people for years continue doing the same crap and after some time stop progressing; it all then becomes a routine. Well who am I to talk, I do the same. Though it’ll be less depressing-like when an individual does something he is passionate about. Although we know how many are lucky enough to do something they’re really into….most are also pressured into pleasing the society and do whatever the society deems as success…okay dead end approaching.

I got a new job…I hope for positivity and progress. I am not used to optimism…it’s not like I don’t want to be optimistic, it’s just that optimism in my case often end up with a bullet in the heart, so to speak. Nonetheless, now that I am old enough, I shall be optimistic nonetheless.

 When I was a kid, I was taught…I remember these two phrases thanks to my mother. One was, ‘old is gold’ she wrote that on a wrapper; she was giving an old purse as a present. She let out a sad smile as she explained to me what it meant. Maybe because she didn’t have any money to buy an actual gift? Well not that it matters; I wanted to say I like old stuff…from books, crafts and other stuff.

The other phrase being, ‘honesty is the best policy’ well we all honestly know that honesty is not really the best policy especially around women or men for that matter. These days I am better at not putting my thoughts across.

I see changes, I see growth, we took our parts, the journey embarks, we grew apart, yesterday it felt like I was still 10, we better start, focusing on what we think will make the heart spark, one must grow inside, in spirit, one should also by now already reach a stage where one has already known himself and has come into terms with his inner self. One should by now, know his path and where he is heading. His eyes set on his destination, the rest are just a struggle, some call it a distraction, a test, one must be steadfast and with all his might overcome worlds that transgress.

Alright then, like I always say...I’ll probably try to be more consistent and write more often. Thank you and have a good day.




So he said, let it be told this way,
A tale not meant to supercede,
Who cares what they might say,
Would it matter if we go our own way?
Alas!
It does in so many clauses,
A cause that might brings upon many sadness.

Let it be told this way,
This way, it would be a sincere depiction of your stay,
There need not be a need for anyone to pave the way,
For your being is constantly in my wake,
In our wake,
Warmth and comfort resurfaces,
The colorful garden resonates,
Our feelings forever immaculate.

Away, distant, high on a milestone,
Trust, distrust and other misdirection’s;
Timely, A connection was born,
Bearing fruit to a feeling long gone,
One that gave birth to a magnificent bond,
The two sitting close together,
Hand in hand, embracing each other,
Serenely steadfast against endeavors

Sensitive, caring and insightful,
She…my type, my cup of tea, the apple of my eye,
Oh will you stop!?
Bothersome is this mind,
Reminding of cruel consequences,
No need for a taste of reality!
Aghast!
But…
Floating in tranquility,
Calm they remain in companionship,
Devoid of logic and any methods of reckoning…


Temporary as it may be,
Pointless it could be,
Still it touched the very depth of the ocean’s floor,
Protruding lively sparks,
That bore a flame and lit up the deep sea,
With a flare full of delight, it resonates…

  
Illogical, unreasonable,
This is a tale not fit for this world,
A story transpired in a universe…
Where two beings were oblivious of the world,
So days, weeks, months dispersed over the years,
Still the flame breathes and continue to subsists,
At the bottom of the sea where no man exists.




The days, daze & maze

Worry—eat curry, scurry…no, not in a hurry! Soon all those memories, pointless to bury, infatuated with happiness yet best friends with misery and his friend named dreary, just like dairy, a defense mechanism actually, one that has now failed and taken over, no longer steady, the boat shaky, the defense flaky. The path is slippery, one slip and there goes his soul in entirety. What is the future, what is the world, when hauntingly it appears as if scums, idiots are in control of the world and it appears as though animals in human forms are in control of the lives of yours and mine…or at least, the lives we believe to be mine and yours?

How untrustworthy, ‘the next day will come by shining’, they say with a smile and a frown, yet they know not what tomorrow has been planned for thee, verily they too are plotters, yet re-assuredly he said, ‘there is no re-assurance’. Maybe I should get some insurance? Now, now I can anticipate negligence and get through accidents with assurance. Such is the world, pleasant not for the peasants...who can’t afford even insurance, only faith in the omnipotent.

Gloat arrogantly, why not? I only have a goatee, so I’ll remain timid with whatever self-worthy left instilled in me, murky—under waters where is this thing called self worth? Who decides on worth or self-worthiness? The pigs or the ones governing them? Self praise, now that’s something I am acquainted with, when there is no praise, the self tries to accept itself and creates empathy, empty empathies, a day dreamer, hallucinating made-up fantasies, picturing praises from those deluded wide in numbers. Hedonists, hard workers, hard to party…doctors’ who are heart-dead, reviving hearts, beating once again, a piece of meat, no light, none of the sort…only the rulers of the world, the hearts are dead, priorities widespread, a calamity, that’s what it is, beating hearts devoid of a light that transcends; one that brings about not benevolence…what upraising? Shrouded are the hearts with shreds of greed and dark entities.

Tied to a pole, hung to a trunk, stretched out entirely, they look at him appraisingly, what do they know? Nothing, not even aware of the fact that they’re only in abundance with deficiencies. His eyes sunken, he smelled of a skunk to the people whose hearts are hard like dry dungs...He smiled to a girl passing by, what boldness! He is stilled with desire, a man without self-worthy yet cursed as a man who awakens upon sensing a scent from the heavens, his sunken eyes emitted with life. The girl then looked at him she smiled back, his heart immediately enveloped by warmth, comfort and nice. He was about to open his mouth, she stopped him with her hand, she picked up a stone and threw it to his groin. She stood closer now, observing the man in pain and then she smiled again, the man deluded by her scent, felt obliged to please her, so he tried his best to make a smile. Such is the man, gentle and kind and obviously blind with no mind.

Tomorrow! Nay the near future, the far future, a child then a teen, insufficiency in entirety; grateful not from what you can see and now an adult who is trapped in adolescency, what is puberty? In my search for answers, meanings, wisdom amidst deficiencies, now I am facing my demise? Fret not for the path hath been found, now-now not a man who is re-born, but more like a blind man without his stick, trying to surpass the world and its murky grounds, guarded by hounds and heavy thorns.

Paradox

Shouts and shrieks,

The eyes opens with dread,

Stressed and afraid,

Solemn widespread,

Alone I dread,

Fellow minds are not great,

Too simple to akin as comrade,

It’s just difficult to associate,

Isolated I dread,

Though the people widespread,

All I see are inbreds.


Humiliated and disgraced,

Humility ingrained,

I open my arms to comrades,

They regard me not as compatriot,

They gaze and discriminate.

Though they in the slums,

They smile and acknowledge,

The sun shines equally unto everyone,

The rain drops blesses everyone,

But the people;

They see differences,

As to deviate,

So to disparate.


Mankind sullen,

Man, I am solemned,

Like a dry flower I am withering,

Watching life pass by,

Paving the path to indifference,

A scavenger who hath lost appetite,

The sun has lost its bright,

The moon has lost its pride,

The stars no longer take strides,

Save, save for the faith that lies in his chest,

Instilling Prevalence to the one who is dead.