Today

This happens occasionally and it happened again this morning, a car from a different lane, knowing that I was on the lane still drove on and almost knocked into me. Making me swerve into a different lane, fortunately the driver on the other lane noticed and slowed down his car. The driver in his huge car acted as if nothing happened and just drove on in spite of my honking and insistent glaring. They never bother, to them here is a motorbike getting in their way.  

The key is when an individual is calmer that is, he is to understand the state of the world and where the rich step on the weak and get away with it. Anger doesn’t solve anything. The anger of a poor person only troubles himself and not others. Acknowledging the state of the world and understanding how it works will get us another day to survive. The world does not serve the poor, it oppresses them. Yea here I go again, being bitter and spiteful, you say. No I am not. I am just saying it as it is and I am not angry. I was angry that the driver didn’t care for a life and I was angry for being weak… and after realizing that there is no way for impartiality, I rode on.

If only the poor didn’t stick up for the rich and stood up more for the poor. It would’ve made at least some difference. I am grateful that I am still in one piece. I got lucky. Fellow friends, understand how the world works, accept your destiny, and most importantly work effortlessly on enhancing your spirituality; for in inner peace lies all kinds of ease and in enriching the soul one discovers the key to calmness. Let us be more accepting of who we are and pray to be people of understanding and with loads of control over our temperaments.

My teacher once told me, “Don’t fight for yourself, leave that to God. However, fight for the rights of others.”

CTea

The Chinese tea,

Given by the quiet old man,

The ignorant poured all the leaves in one mug,

Unaware of the value of the dried leaves he dropped,

The leaves obviously too much for one cup.

A little dizzy,

Not to the extent of uneasy,

No, not queasy,

I feel so friggin sleepy!

This has got to be one of my toughest entries,

Attempting to write whilst the head is being silly,

Seriously, the head is hefty with the feeling of heavy,

Was it really the tea?

Some floating hours went by,

The old man was there again,

The ignorant saw him again,

He showered his praises about the leaves he gobbled,

“Come see me tomorrow”, he said

“Bring a container with you this time”, he said

More hot Chinese tea to gulp in,

The head had mixed feeling,

Though at the same time felt, “this might be interesting.” 

Provrb

I was watching a clip and in this clip, the speaker said these words. I found it to be pretty awesome hence the posting. I hope it is as meaningful to you as it is to me.  

“The one who is always trying to discover the unknown, he could not even discover himself, he who captured the rays of the sun, yet he failed to fill the void in his life. The one who illuminated the entire world with lanterns failed to realise the darkness within his own heart, if there is darkness in one’s heart, what good is the light on the outside.” -Urdu proverb-

Significant Much

My hair, gets stressed when the air around becomes too humid. I am trying to grow my hair long again. It’s been a few months since I got a haircut though I don’t know if I’ll be able to persevere and you know have it longer. My goal is to see the outcome of my patience. I am obviously optimistic but at the same time, at the back of my head I can’t help but fear it will only be a mess. Imagine being patient for months only to be shocked by the result of my persistence and endurance. Only to be introduced to bad hair.

I woke up tired and tremendously sleepy; nonetheless I was also proud for being able to function efficiently despite the discomfort I experienced. However, as soon as I was in the bus, I got comfy and as usual planned on getting some deep/nice sleep. The driver, despite being behind schedule by being slowed down by the passengers, drove quite well probably because of the amounts of complaints his boss have been receiving.  I didn’t take the proper driving for granted. I slept through the journey for almost a full hour. I woke up satisfied and my day today seems brighter than usual.

It’s almost lunch time and as per my usual fashion, I go out and eat early. Simply because there’ll be less people and more food for the stomach to stomach. Here I am back from lunch, I sat with some students and our conversation not so surprisingly moved to girls hence I had to pass down my wisdom and gave them advises regarding girls and relationships. Of course they were bitter!

I just read an email from work stating that we have to work this weekend. No! Unlike what you’re expecting I shan’t whine and act as you’ve predicted. I am sleepy.

As usual well more than usual I’ve been buying stuffs that I don’t really need and as a consequence have been losing a lot of the money I really need. Please contact me if you feel like donating some of your money. Thanks.

 

 

..pty

How empty, how empty,

People with no identities,

The western culture you impersonate,

You think because you can relate,

They might think you've elevate,

How miserably empty,

“We are just having fun, why don’t you just relax, geez you're crazy!”

If gaining acceptance and respect is through this form…

What else can be said?

How empty, how pathetically empty!

In need of empathy,

For the soul is manipulated and thirsty,

It accepts anything that gives it any meaning,

Little do they know,

The heart is hardened and the soul poisoned,

Mankind is weakened, their goals, only the weekends. 

The Worldly Kings

What are we but dependant beings?

What are we, if not weaklings?

Dependent on the invisible air we breathe,

On the formless water we drink,

What then but dependent beings?

Still we think we have control over things,

When we don't even have control over our breathing,

The ones whose hearts are closed, 

Continue playing kings.

Janguary

Well I am not quite feeling well today. Ergo I relax at home. Though there is not much food available... After raiding the fridge, I found a quarter of left over birthday cake, my brother’s. I took a big chunk of it, I don't really like cakes but then I was hungry, you know what they say, ‘hunger is a hunter’. I am not sure if I am just making that up. I also found a jar of cashew nuts hidden at the end of the fridge's compartment. I ate the cashews out of spite. Now I don't feel too hungry, now I just hope I don't get fat. 

Anyways knowing that I have some house chores to do have made me lazy and unproductive. Therefore I went out and took some pics, you know to lose some of the guilt for not conforming to the mundane, repetitive chores. I am pretty sure I'll regret it but who cares, I'll have to attend to them sooner or later. 

Oh my work place has shifted to Nilai, I have to be on the company bus approximately 7.30 every morning and reach home around 8 pm. I would like to brag about the burden and the getting used to the new routine. Then I was reminded of others. It is pretty common isn't it? Spending long hours traveling to work, spending long hours at work, spending all the money you've earned on paying off debts and what’s available of in the name of stress relief and keeping sane?  On second thoughts aren’t we getting used to enslaving ourselves to banks and society's expectations? What else is new? 

It is necessary to keep life somewhat balanced, you know keep it balanced to your own ability. It might be trying and exhausting but to me keeping life balanced is pretty significant. One has to be spiritually, mentally, physically and financially stable. That's my opinion and something that I envision or you know just being hopeful for. After all I am getting old, and I am old enough to know, you know…stuff.

I've been spending too much money on plants, flowers, fishes, aquarium, stuffs for aquarium...I was assisting my uncle on building our own fishpond. It took us almost 4 months to complete, you know since it was just the two of us and we could only work on the weekends. It feels nice though; having it in the house...not exactly in the house but u know what I am saying, right?

After getting the pond done, I wanted to do this thing called ‘aquascape’, ‘planted aquarium’, or well there are few more names for it. Although, I am pretty sure I messed it up. Fishes were dying, the water in the tank looked dirty and I am not exactly good at landscaping apparently.   

Anyhoo, I think I shall nap a little while I still can. Enjoy the pics.

 

 

Happy New Bleh!

An empty…no I should begin with something more positive. Happy New Year everybody! I do try to sound enthusiastic at times. I have been watching Gaki No Tsukai… I should learn to arrange my words better. Nah, on second thoughts I shouldn’t be too serious. I have always been watching the aforementioned show what I meant to say, I watched the latest one, the 2013 one. Without subtitles mind you. It was 6 hours long and I enjoyed every minute of it. If there is one reason to anticipate the New Year, this would be it. Every few minutes I would catch myself snickering at the computer screen as if I had nothing to do with the world. So yea, the show is sort of an escapism and very much so entertaining. Not for all though I’d add.

I also just finished a book which was the autobiography of APJ Abdul Kalam. It was impressive; I liked the childhood, education and poetic parts of the book. The work part not so much. Maybe because I didn’t feel the patriotism involved in the plot or it could be that I felt that I don’t love my job enough to enjoy other people talking about how much they love their job and how much passion they have for their career. Yes, bitter indeed. Yes, I know it’s the wrong attitude.

I am pretty much bored. Yet I am also feeling quite good for I am free and no one is bugging me. I hope I didn’t jinx myself. Oh let’s talk about resolutions…I am pretty sure it was the same as the year before and the year before that. Though, I’d like to fill my tiny yet congested garden with more plants and flowers. You know because I am all flowery and stuff. The irony.

I feel like I’ve lived for too long to be excited for another year. It’s all about surviving, adaptability and seizing opportunities, at least in this context. I am still trying to balance all the aspects in life as to become a proper being. You know from physically, financially, mentally and spiritually. I believe that a good human being is a well-balanced human being.

I always think that upon writing something and upon adding the letter, ‘I’ I appear so full of myself and conceited. Am I really that self-reflective or in other words so insecure or….I don’t know, again I shouldn’t be too serious nor should I care too much. Though I still would prefer not to appear as like a person who thinks the world revolves around him/her. You know, because I dislike those people. I hope I don’t have to learn about myself as to how I have the same traits of the people whom I dislike. Wouldn’t that be funny? In an un-funny way? Ha-ha

I bought an ice cream for someone yesterday, the person only took a bite and then gave the ice cream back to me. Oddly enough I happily finished the ice cream and yes, it was delicious.

I like being alone most of the time…I don’t think that’s true. While I enjoy the company of me self, I enjoy others too. Only that I am quite picky as to whose. You know, as you grow older one has possessed the ability to most of the time differentiate who are worthwhile and who are not. Also I think I keep on forgetting on how thankful I should be for being granted many-many good friends from different backgrounds and different ages. Again, I should be really thankful for having just a few best friends who’d have my back when I am in need.

p.s. I just got back from one of the big bosses office. What happened there wasn’t very nice. People were bickering. The cause was as usual pride and arrogance. Not a good scene and quite demotivating. Let us hope we become people with true sincerity and humility. It is I think one of the most important and difficult of art/form one could wish to achieve and strife for in one’s life.

That’s enough ranting. Domo-arigato.

Fast Moving World

Fast moving world, fast moving world, what do I earn from you fast moving world? Without the right feelings, direction and guidance fast moving world… I see things changing, evolving and some disappearing fast moving world. Is it just me or are you spinning faster and faster each day. Every day now, I seem to be feeling more aged and older fast moving world.

My teachers, they tell me how to face you fast moving world, they tell me to ignore most of you, I tell them how can I avoid you when I am within you? They then express their thoughts by shaking their heads. He then said, we are people who are more concerned of the soul than the physical world, pay not too much heed to this fast moving world.

High rise buildings in the fast moving world, I see green trees replaced by million dollar houses, you have turned people into a new hybrid slave, you have turned humanity into profit thriving inhabitants. We all love money and fame, mostly we love you fast moving world. You seem, like you’re here and we here to remain forever!

 What is in plan for you, fast moving world? I best fasten my seatbelts fast moving world. You seem more likely to bring about a bad future fast moving world, when all of us are unaware and unconscious fast moving world?

 I was young and now I am supposed to bring about my own young, fast moving world, why? Fast moving world, jailed and imprisoned in this fast moving world, my teachers tell me to ignore most of you fast moving world, my teachers have honed their souls, fast moving world, they don’t fall for your traps fast moving world or should I say false moving world? My teachers have tried and gained victory over you fast moving world. They live in this fast moving world without playing into your rules fast moving world. How can we compare ourselves to the saints’ fast moving world? When we are weak with petty desires, weak with amusing splendors—glamour and shining armors.

 Fast moving world, fast moving world, how much faster are you going to speed yourself fast moving world? Pace yourself fast moving world! Fast moving world, I hope not to become your victim fast moving world. Fast moving world I don’t think I would want to fall for you fast moving world. Desire towards you transforms me into an unhappy being fast moving world, you make both my mind and physical weak with pointless burden and poisonous desires.

I am fighting against myself over all your wonders fast moving world though it seems like I am failing fast moving world, though I keep succumbing to your magnificence and to the hope that you may bring if I am in possession of you fast moving world. I shall not reduce myself into loving you.

 Everyone else, well no one can be bothered each in his fast moving world with his selfish, fast moving dreams and fantasies. All wishes to be a king of you fast moving world, what will be your end game fast moving world? What will be my ending fast moving world?

old&cold

It is cold, why is it so cold? The warmth of accompaniment could maybe remove this cold.  These clothes are old; they’re worn out almost torn as the skin shrivels, as he remains conscious thinking how cold it is and how cold of a person it is making him inside. “Begone! Begone! He muttered to the self”. The man continues to experience coldness, the books dampened, some dried and yellowed, ripped and shattered. The stomach growls haughtily, angry and incessantly demands nurturing. How about some charcoals maybe even some wool? While all is dull, all else is having a ball; while all is having a ball, all is in a ball where struggle is just at the corner by the wall. All dressed in glamour and covered up by a drunken stupor, resisting, disallowing emptiness to enter. 

 All is well when there’s detachment at every stall. Silverwares and gold, encapsuling our goals, driven by ghouls. Relax, don’t howl, there is no need to throw in the towel. They said, you ought to be bold, to capture what you’ve been told, put it on hold, don’t listen to what you’re told, to the old people who are brainwashed by gold, they move to what they’ve been told. As usual, they remain unreliable. Worldly people always in denial, their actions always menial, soon the very people they please will come to disgrace, all these diseases will come to cease, none will continue to exist. The people we follow are none other than our desires who always demands to be pleased.

So cold, where are the trees and the flowers and the cool of the breezes, which brings calmth and peace in life?

The girl mesmerizing the world as she walks by gracefully, he is told of her and goes to witness her only to return sold. His soul is hers. At least for a few minutes, at least until he lays foot on ground again. The girl lived happy and gracefully until she felt like giving man a chance to vanquish all curiosity; then she turned ugly and from that day on, she graced the earth with all kind of doubts and disbeliefs.

Content, satisfaction not just mere imagination, means to salvation not just an invention. Wisdom an accomplishment, derived from sincerity, humility and intelligence. How many possesses wisdom, what is wisdom?

The 'Poor'

If I had a dream, a new year’s resolution, I would want to dream of a time and a place where the poor would be comfortably poor. I would also like to dream of a time where the poor would be intellectually and spiritually rich. This would be a world where strong bonds would be established amongst the poor. A bond and loyalty that is strong enough, that trust would be strong and unity will be formed. When the poor stop dreaming of achieving richness. If such a time were to come, the rich will not be able to mistreat them, walk over them, discriminate against them, look down at them and control them. Again, if only the poor would stop having high hopes of becoming as rich as the ones who mistreat them… perhaps then things would be different. A community of poor people for the poor people; where education and healthcare is free. If only diseases such as greed and jealousy were easy to overcome. I dream of a day where every child would be informed, educated, healthy and strong. I continue to dream. The people continue to dream, they dream of success in the form a mansion, big houses and white people in white dresses cheerfully smiling from their castles. Thinking that they too would one day achieve richness and attain happiness similar to the fairy tales they’ve had in their mind since a tender age.

If only people would find joy in reading, the wonders one could discover. The ideas they could extract and the livelihood they could explore…If only people would read, they could exemplify the prophets and the saints.

 I know it’s silly but I dream of a poor nation where man prefers his brother over himself. They feed one another. They work for each other. I can go on and on…you get the idea right? How does one attain purity of heart in order for his actions to be of purity? We all worship ourselves, we are slaves to our desires. I dream of a world where man becomes a man of such level that he becomes a master over his desires. His desires are selfless, his wisdom is boundless and his faith as strong as the companions.

I dream of a world, when the word ‘poor’ is mentioned the picture that would come to mind is a man with all the wealth in the world but no kindness in his eyes. 

Age

As the world continues in its rotation

Inhabitants too continue to age within their own rotation

Alas! None of us become sages

Instead we become lost in so many stages

We age into something delirious.

In our poisoned state,

We poison the mind of the young

They too become,

A person that is strange and precarious

He doesn’t know himself nor does he know others

He cares not for himself nor does he care for others

His desires becomes his insight

His insides becomes disastrous

Derailed, paranoid and constantly in fear

Though we continue to turn the pages

Into our own ruins we seem to be running

My friends they all leave to find, well mostly better wages

My good friends let us not severe kinship but persevere friendship

My relatives’ one at a time perished and forgotten

I keep thinking in what state will I perish and be forgotten?

All ultimately with their own goals

Mainly money,

Money to materialize the happiness it harbours

When the age is still ripe

I plan to make it right

One hopes to head towards the light

Remain with the aright and hold firm to the rope of The Absolute Ruler

Sends

Keep relying on your senses when you know your senses often omit little sense. Close to an hour left…a long awaited for weekend. The upcoming holidays, plentiful of hopeful promises, of ease and continual peace; no chaotic conundrums in the head to constrain—Useless are these thoughts, troubling the self with troublesome thoughts just playing them over and over again. How detrimental, redundant and suffocating; are these thoughts.

These days, if one has noticed, yours truly does not like to post bitter, bringing the self-down posts.  As usual, at first it was just seeping out emotions till today this particular emotion is somewhat in everlasting abundance as it was even from before. The disease engulfs one’s thinking, decision making and perception. He tries hard yet it is him and he is it…or something to that affect. Stuck and stagnant; stuck in a sea with motion sickness, sickness in motion—sickened emotions.

Worries what a worry! What is in the future and what is in planning for the future? Circle of life, the way things work, preparations, expectations…where is this acceptance? Contentment, gratefulness, satiated, fulfilled. Love and loved.

Emptiness, a churning, distasteful, a twist of fate. Fatigue. The soul, sold and it gets confused with the transaction, isn’t this the right path? It cried. The sleep, the wake, the fatigue, the dissatisfaction, the ungrateful, the discontent. But-but when distasteful hits you’re supposed to smile and show happiness when the pangs of love are absent. Can we come to some kind of terms? Going in the morning, coming back in the evening. The days become years, the life becomes old, yet the void still grows, there is still not enough money.

Instill in me enough love so we don’t appear unruly, even when someone is discontent or someone who transgress against his the ways of traditions? Instill in me pretentiousness, so we may pretend that this is the path one straight path one embarks, for a better future they say, to put food on the table as we say. We shouldn’t sway when slaves should slave. Obtain a car, a house and stability and then a father hands his daughter to be wed. Now that there is a car, a house and stability and a few debts lingering for a few solid years... To holy matrimony.

Look at beauty and look at the good things when nearer are the ugly and the unjust. Can it be left ignored, untouched, remain un-noticed?

Come on, let’s continue to rely on our limited, lying senses. Where one day we sense this and the next we sense what sense didn’t make sense. Go on keep on relying on your senses when at this wake you are sure of your senses and the next you make a mockery of the senses. How is this consensus?

Go on, keep on lying and say everything is moving ahead. To where is this journey embarking. We are all dying, this is all too overwhelming, and what will the outcome of this journey? Am I over-thinking or just merely barking? What a nuisance over-thinking when there is no power in constraining the blinking…I meant the blinking of the eyes.  Reassuring, stabilizing, having plan B’s and insurance a pretence for assurance.

There are countries at wars and their concern has plummeted to just keeping the eyes alive. Here in a Peaceful country we go to war in the morning facing traffic jams and each in his tank, each in a constrain, each conceited, their only care is about the self the rest can thread in hell. He is the only one with a family to survive; his is the only one with love. Others…meh. 

And after spending some half a century working and obtaining and gaining and buying and living and experiencing all sorts of pleasure. He then looks for something permanent, something that will appease spiritually something more permanent a little more pertinent. Though his habits are too strong, he is used to buying peace and till the end of his time. He keeps on looking for things that will please and so he needs to work hard to obtain another piece.

The hour is up, it is time to sulk in the weekend or so the senses believe.

Sakimore no Uta

Here is another one by Sada Masahi. It is actually a song he sang I am thinking in relation to the Japanese war. Though I found it amazing, I didn't quite like the ending. I was under the impression or wanted to think that what he conveyed was something rhetoric albeit difficult to accept or something along that line and that the poem's direction was more towards the self contemplating and understanding, not about nationalism. Nonetheless, this is just really beautiful. I wish I could write like this.

Please tell me

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

How about the wind?

Is the sky the same?

Please tell me…

I, sometimes,

Ponder upon the miseries of human lives,

Upon the sorrows

Which everybody will equally feel,

Upon the agony of live,

Upon the sorrow of growing old,

Upon the pain of illness,

Upon the misery of dying,

And upon my present self

Please answer me…

If every life of all existences in this world,

Has its own destiny,

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Like summer goes,

Like winter comes,

Must everything pass away?

Can I reckon…

On the twinkling of a tiny life,

Something like a faint hope

Which cannot be grasped by human words,

Some people are passing,

Others are coming,

A waning moon

Will be waxing again

In our everyday lives;

Please tell me…

If all living things in this world

Are destined to live limited lives,

Is the sea mortal?

Is a mountain mortal?

Is spring mortal?

Is autumn mortal?

Is love mortal?

Is the human heart mortal?

Must everything including my beloved home country,

Pass away?

'Sonnet of a Clown'

I don't know if I have no time to write or that I have not been urging myself to write. However, I discovered this Japanese poet/singer called Sada Masahi. Here is piece by him I thought I'd share, seeing that it is preetty beautiful. I like it therefore i am posting it. I don't know about you but this is my kinda groove, or should I not use the word groove?

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


We go down the river

In a boat loaded with sadness

We go down the river

Going down the stream of time.

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your hands

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.


Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy


And you'll see that your friends are walking along with you

Along the stream of time.

We are mountain climbers

Who head for our own peak

With heavy burden,

without even taking a breath

You have plenty of sadness

So much sadness you couldn't hold with your little arms.

If laughing at me makes you feel better

I will be your clown.

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

And the time will come soon

When we all chat and laugh together

Laugh at me to make you happy

Laugh at me to make me happy.

Sada Masashi

Unknown Number

Phone calls are surprising. I churn when I see the phone vibrating. What would this person want from me? a strange number, quite challenging; might be worth taking. Every time I end up regretting. Still I keep on picking and end up regretting. How could I not answer when it feels like someone is calling? Shouldn’t I write about something more interesting? But then the phone just rang twice, I picked it up and yes, it was not entertaining.

My attention went wavering, whilst I was doing something, whilst the phone became vibrating. I had to focus on the person calling, listening to people and responding to their queries, answering concisely. Sending the right messages, setting a proper voice tone as to not sound un-friendly or too friendly.

I was writing a more important piece one that required the mind and thinking. Hence I opt to write about something less important, these kinda things are easy and entertaining?

I cast a look at my phone, strange numbers, how thrilling. Strange number how appealing, strange numbers how un-amusing, strange numbers gives me mixed feelings. Though, today I had written about the phone ringing. That disrupted my fragile feelings, causing my attention now gone fleeing. I was writing about one thing and now I am writing about the phone ringing.

Speaking of which, at work, no matter how and where I hide, my bosses and colleagues are able to locate me. When the phone rings at work, I think to myself what have I not submitted? And then I think, I probably have to get involved in some form of communicating. NO! no more meetings. All I do is sit and try to look as if I am focusing. It’s always my bosses and my colleagues contributing their problems and making it mine. What kind of sleazy slave am I? Anyways, I cast an angry look at my phone, which looks so innocent and calm while its not ringing.

The time has come for me to enter the shower. On an ending note, strange numbers aren’t amusing. The next time I see a strange number, I am sure I will still answer the phone and who knows I would not end up regretting.

p.s. These days even the emails I get are frightening. Especially, when it is from the slave owners. They don’t really own me. As usual I was exaggerating. Duh (Why the explanation?!). Maybe I am being paranoid but these emails have caused some serious disturbance in me pursuing my normal routine of  peace and laziness. Oh life! Ha-ha.

Poor as a peasant
Shallow as a rich person.

Oh Dunya!

One day I woke up and then I stood up and then I walked around, I stooped, fell and I got up and towards the end of the day, I found a poem ready to be posted up.

Oh dunya!

You narrate and plot,

You have deceived and continue to deceive

With all kinds of mischief’s

We appear in defeat

As a consequence of your misdeeds

In millions we have been deceased

And our numbers continues to increase

Our people live in scarcity and are malnourished

You think we will cease to exist

You think we will soon perish

You want us to be afraid to live and co-exist

Oh dunya!

In a world conquered by injustice

When a people fight for justice

You label them terrorists

You then hunt and kill these terrorists

Oh dunya!

The kings and queens who reigns the world

All the money in the world

All the things you’ve acquired

All the happiness you’ve captured

Has it amount to any amount of happiness or contentment?

Only more diseased, your deceased heart is

Oh dunya!

Can’t you see?! Don’t you read your history?!

The pharaohs, the kings, the conquerors,

They were all evil doers

It is the tradition of the rich and wealthy

The habit of the powerful and mighty

Who are prone to misdeeds and tyranny

Oh dunya!

Our saints and our leaders

When the world was offered to them

The rejected and chose to live in simplicity

Don’t you see?

All the prophets and the saints,

Most of them lived in simplicity

The best of them lived in simplicity

Oh dunya!

Your respect is only for the rich and mighty,

Open you eyes and contemplate!

Alas! The eyes of the heart have been dead

Taken over by greed and wealth

How can you see?!

All you think of is buying new objects

That you hope will fill the void in you existing

Oh dunya!

Yes, we are being oppressed

We are being called terrorists and terrorized in the name of terrorism

Nevertheless, We are ready with our white kerchiefs

Our weapons, faith and sincerity!

Keep your world, divide and conquer!

Look at our elders and forefathers!

Don’t you learn?

We show no fear, only love for the Creator

Oh dunya!

Though we are sinners and weak in obedience

We still strife to become better believers

You have waken us up

You have made us stronger

You may erase me, my brothers even the whole world

Though, you will never be able to erase the footsteps of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH

His teachings are engraved in the hearts before, present and after

For even a sinner will gladly give his life for him

Such is the sinner who is mad in love for his beloved

Now think about the saints…

Oh dunya!

You don’t have to understand

Even when an insignificant man is deep in love

He doesn’t need for you to understand

Indeed we are mad

Mad with the love for God and his Messenger PBUH

Fri31.Aug12

The heart in the sty

Yet it hearts to head towards the sky

His appearance emanates a handsome light

Yet the mirror reflects an ugly side

A churning coincide

A battle, subtle from the front side

Detrimental from other sides

Tremors, shaking, and mocking coincides

Trapped within his own desires

He flutters around the fire

All his efforts seems in dire

His weaknesses grows

The heart bleeds

As his bad deed increases

His soul depletes

He repents in such a way his kind is limited to

Everyday he sins and he repents

Such is the lowly human

Slave to his passions

Unlike his elders and the elders of his elders

They seem to live in peaceful gardens

Although around them lies toughness and difficulties ready to engulf em

They seem calm akin to living in a peaceful garden

The First Rain, The Last Rain

It rains outside though inside, there is water shortage. The tap merely produces a few drops of water. This is irritating and oddly enough brings about the feeling of helplessness.

It is also funny that the introduction above apart from the feeling of helplessness has nothing to do with what I have planned to write. Whether I am able to write about what I came to write about or not, we shall come to know...

The norm is during the weekdays I travel by motorcycle and during the weekends due to different circumstances puts me in a situation where I have to use the car. My purpose of saying this is to somewhat send out a not so subtle message indicating that I know what it is to be a motorcyclist and what it feels like to be a motorist, as in a car driver in case you feel lost or my choice of word fails to send out the right message as intended by yours truly.

In a more imaginative/immature view, if I could fly I wouldn’t use vehicles or even go close to roads covered by tar, no matter how fresh they’re. I have nothing against roads on the other hand road users make me want to denounce my being a human. If I were to choose to be a being that is not a human being…when I think about all the choices I have—I guess I am left with angel? Right now there are only a few ‘beings’ that comes to mind; animals, devil/s or angels.

On a more paranoid/realistic approach, every time I am on my motorbike I can’t help but think of the possibility of getting into some sort of ‘mishap’. In a nutshell I can’t help but blame car drivers. Simply because when I am on my bike I have this feeling that these car drivers are intentionally or mockingly trying to hit motorcyclists; maybe as a sign of letting off steam or showing off their precedence?

Words can’t express how much contempt (did I say contempt? I meant how much concern) I have against the selfishness and the self absorb-ness that is synonym to today’s people. Their main motto probably being, ‘no matter who I hurt, no matter what I have to do, as long as I made it others can go to hell’. This is what I think goes through the mind of today’s people… on second thoughts; imagine if this is the creed people hold onto?! Let us observe and interact with people or perhaps even have a conversation with yourself in front of the mirror? :p

On a broader scale, my fear of being on the road consequently makes men uncomfortable knowing that I am surrounded by people whose characteristic or even default personality being, ‘selfishness’.  I am no-where indicating that I am a selfless person or that people should be selfless saints or anything even close to that. I wouldn’t even dream of such a thing judging from the level of selflessness/compassion left in today’s human beings. I am just hoping that people won’t try to hit you when cross the road, or when you are on your motorbike and you’ve signaled and as you try to move your bike to one side you’d hope that the car behind you would not try to hit you. I am not even saying that if a blind person were to cross a road someone should take his hand and bring him to the other side of the road, I am just saying that when a blind person tries to cross the road, one wouldn’t try to run over him. The state of self-importance and selfishness sometimes makes me entertain the thought of living in a faraway land devoid of people. Though the thought amounts to nothing more than your average ‘day-dreaming’.

To me, the society is flawed; from the way it perceives success to how it sees what is socially acceptable. The society changes human beings into lesser human beings by failing in its ideology, ways and methods and in matters such as banking and education system, Perhaps the government should take some blame? Maybe diseases like greed and love of power are the result of what has befell the people.

When you think of happiness what do you think of? Your version of happiness of is an accumulated knowledge derived from? Storybooks? Parents? Movies? Mtv? Magazines?

Has anyone heard of John Nash? (The guy from ‘A beautiful mind’) who was depicted as an amazing person in the movie? He came up with this theory called the, ‘F**k you buddy’ theory. It is an ideology that depicts that all forms of human reaction and human behavior are hostile towards each other and that all people constantly study, observe and watch other people so that they can act on their self-interest and manipulate them. He believed that humans were mainly driven by selfishness and self-interest.

 The theory goes on, if everyone behaves selfishly and thinks solely for his own good then it might create stability, equilibrium. According to John Nash, the rational choice is always to betray the other person as to having no risk of failure. I hope you’re with me. In nash’s view whenever you trust someone you face the risk of losing something but if you betray that person then you might lost nothing. In short, everyone should be suspicious and distrustful of everyone and everything.

Having said that, people might have forgotten that John himself was a paranoia schizophrenic. His words, “You don’t want to admit that you’re crazy. You see other people as crazy but you like to think of yourself as not crazy..”

The reason I brought this theory up was in the midst of my being a pessimist I wanted to say that, if this theory were to put into test today…will it have worked as he had hoped? Oh! I forgot to mention that there was a study conducted to observe the pattern and to see the effectiveness of the theory when it was introduced; it failed drastically. Instead of betraying each other people trusted each other. One can only wonder if the same result will come into play in the present, exponentially/increasingly selfish world.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day, I was in the backseat of a car, on the way to a funeral with an uncle (as in an old guy) and someone I consider more knowledgeable than I am (yes I do that these days). During our drive, they were both coincidently conversing on how people/ strangers behaving kindly and selflessly. Having heard of their stories I knew that I couldn’t finish this piece negatively. After all, that’ll be unfair.

Moving on, could it be that people are prone to behave more selfishly in the cities? You know fast paced, ‘dog eat dog world’, traffic jamms, fast food chains (I just wanted to include fast food chains too) and etc. There was a study conducted in the US (because when I say US you might think of it as more believable) whereby it stated that the middle class people are more prone to behave like douche-bags and selfishly.

 Numerous times I had the ‘luck’ to view their smugness. Even the expressions that their faces make have the ability to ruin someone’s day. Why do I have this feeling as if I am drifting off from topic?

In the city, especially on the road, all you see is smug faces. People drive huge cars that assert successfulness but their behavior and expressions convey differently. One would think being successful would automatically mean being in a state of calmness or something to that affect? Or are we so backwards that being nice today is the quality of the inferior and ‘unsuccessful’?

Could successfulness mean being dominant over others or having the privilege to treat others badly and not feel badly about it? Like what the English did and what the west is doing and what I hope we are not following…although it seems like we are emulating them in every way.

Back to people especially in their ‘armored’ cars, how are these people always on the edge, like moving pressure cookers? And when you unintentionally look at their faces, it causes the stomach to churn. All you witness is a prick in a posh car. This was taken from a movie, ‘What is the difference between a porcupine and a car? With the car the pricks are inside.’  One should also ponder on how/who defines success and how do you define success? I guess this comes back to beliefs and how strong your beliefs are.

This superiority complex derived from the version of success in the material world; have brought into live some diseases…Who coined the term, ‘slum’, ‘pariah’? I would probably say this mentality of degrading others has been on earth since well… long before I was born.   

In my effort to treat everyone as equally as possible (because I too am tarnished by this disease of judging a person based on their outer appearance) I will try harder not to judge a person by their race, skin color or their wealth. A decent person is a decent person regardless of his stature.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day, I was driving and minutes away from reaching home. I had to pass through one last hurdle, a troublesome roundabout. There is a roundabout in SS15 where Cars moved as if they are bumper cars and all they wanted to do is hit you. This is not a myth just highly exaggerated. Again, I am not saying I am a good driver, I am saying that I am not a complete douche every time I am behind the wheel and most of the time I try to adhere to the law. I also learned that there is no use in getting upset or angry because getting upset over such people erm only makes you upset.

This also reminded me and made me realized that motorists aren’t just insensitive towards motorcyclist they are equally insensitive to all road users even pedestrians. Just that when you are on a motorbike the tendency for you dying seems loftier. Can you then blame me for being concerned or slightly paranoid?

Anyways I am going to finish this.

What I intend to do and hope to become…I have lived and observed. The people especially the adults have showed me that their ways are blemished. History has depicted all kinds of life stories. It is up to me to choose a story or a chapter from history I deem is best for me. Having said that, in reference to this particular piece I plan not to get offended by selfish people; although I have the tendency to get offended of a 5 year old girl.  I don’t know if that made sense.

There is this belief where when people behave badly to you, you respond to them with kindness and wisdom. I guess it depends on the situation too? However my point being, I normally respond to such people with well let’s just say I have somewhat embraced the philosophy, ‘an eye for an eye.’ I realize that this is going to be extremely difficult but I am now trying to respond differently hence you should wish me luck. Although I have no confidence in myself regarding how I am going to change the way I respond, there shouldn’t be anything wrong in being hopeful, right?