more bull
It was a warm night, Junior was feeling uneasy its just a feeling that he couldn’t fight neither resist and occurs if day turned out to be a little bit more disappointing than usual. He dreamt, it was two months past midyear already, pupil were preparing for their final examinations. Teachers were trying to finish their syllabus on time. Junior was nine years old or eight.
There was one teacher that he never forgot although seldom thought about. What made her special was, she’d tell stories. Stories about Sinbad the sailor “Arabian nights”. Whenever they had time to spare, her students will urge her to tell tales of Sinbad and his adventures. It was junior’s favorite subject. She’d bring out a thick book containing many adventures of sinbad the sailor and read it to the class. Junior now, much older then he was then is still amazed of her ways that caught her student’s attention and captured the moment, which felt surreal. Nobody even moved or glanced over, it was like a blink of an eye might lead to loss of important information. At the end of every session, it was always “are we done”? by the time the story ended, junior’s head was purely entertained and being a kid Junior wished to be like sinbad the sailor. His dreams of becoming a sailor lasted for a year or so. Through out the year Junior experienced many occurrence and experience.
Junior now in a different world with different people, different language and a different way of thinking, he still lives and experience life without having a choice, Junior had issues one of them was, he never trusted anyone including himself, according to him people care about their self too much that you never really know what it is that’s going through their minds. It’s a normal human behavior I suppose, each individual’s top priority is to make sure they get what they want and need in order to get that people tend to forget their basics.
Junior just like every other young man was curious of his existence in the universe but understood that with the knowledge that he has obtained through out the years might just be too little and what if the answer to the question couldn’t be bared by his human brain and might cause insanity or even his brain to explode (exaggerating a little here). So yeah, what I am saying here is, in order to get the answers that you seek be sure to get ready for the consequences and the responsibilities, if there’s any that is. To me knowing answers to all questions is just not human. I wonder whether we humans were made to live just to understand what life is all about and to understand that, they have to live and learn at the same time only to know that by the time they are satisfied with their answers they’d already be too old or dead.
I was told that after Junior read my story about him and his curiosity has came to sense and is trying to live his life as it comes and is feeling rather happy about it and about the teacher she’ll never be forgotten. I come to conclusion that a humans life is all about multi tasking (that’s one of the many terms that I’ve come up with occasionally), which I wont elaborate much about because of the fact that I am quite sure you got the idea or disagree and I am tired. Thanks for your time.
Funny thoughts
Having nothing to do as usual frequently makes my mind think of funny thoughts that I won’t elaborate much about. Here’s one particular subject that I would like to ponder upon. “Is that it”? I am talking about ones journey in life. Is that it?
We do the same similar stuffs in life that makes it a routine with or without knowing about it. Think about it school, college then work…it’s errm kinda typical I’d say, since I too did the same things. I was just thinking perhaps if I didn’t have to go to school, college or work. I’d certainly be different then again I’d also be living in a world of my own with less knowledge and I am pretty sure that I wont be able to write this kind of craps (beneficial reading) whenever I have nothing better to do.
Come to think about it, I am pretty darn happy that I went to school and to college too and find myself lucky enough to get a proper education compared to others less fortunate. Moving on I was wondering would it be possible to live a life where we can enjoy doing the same things that we do. I am talking about “work” here, how many people you know enjoy their jobs ohh u might know plenty but this is my story so I am saying that only a small amount of people really enjoy what they do at work. The point is people do things for their own reason such as “money”. People earn to support, help, pay bills shortly “to survive” and keep on living. Most people work and earn to occupy themselves and at the same time earn a living. Nothing wrong or unusual about that, that’s something that I think that I too have to live with.
I like to think of myself as an unique individual till recently I a came upon a friend who said “always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else” meant something didn’t it?, every occupation has its down fall and shitty happenings, it might be being human itself and having feelings and thoughts that lingers that sort of feeling. So we learn how to deal with it find an appropriate way to release stress/tensions and keep on moving as for some, some might depend on their incomes that gives the person a reason to continue their effort.
A typical human life (not you!) consist of years of studying, learning how to deal with/manage stuffs, learn about people and live with them, go thru horrible and good and exciting experience, see almost new and learn things that happens in everyday life. Depressing moments, stress, process of growing up learning to adapt with new environment/ places, girls, girls, girls, exhaustion, new people more learning and more adapting. Then get a job, career change more depressing moments. After a few years of living alone and getting more financially stable, look for a lady get married have kids and earn more money to ensure child’s future. Grow older and hope that your kids pay back your good deeds and love and appreciate the person you are. That’s my version of life compressed into a paragraph not really true eh.
The thing that bothers that agitates me is, It’s yet another day.. I am still wondering clueless, what to do with myself…just want to be someone useful to myself and to others I guess being someone useful or someone reliable in that matter depends on what an individual is willing to do in order to get whatever he dreams of. Blurness and the cloud that covers the path to your future that makes your mind stop and the inability to think ahead is a miserable feeling. Some say, “you’ll never know until you try…better fail trying without having the courage to even step ahead”. A friend of mine, someone I know dearly, who couldn’t be or do the things that he wants to do or become (“because of certain barriers” he’d say) is now facing a dilemma whether or not to just take any opportunity that comes ahead. Normally that’s what happens, we just take the opportunity ahead of us and forget about the things that, once was our goal. Anyway there’s no actual point for this story just that, people tend to grab the opportunity in front of them which is a good thing considering they all turn out to be ok. As long as you’d be able to live with your decisions then its just a matter of continuing and living in routine and be happy about it.
The point of “is that it” is, is there all to life, some live in peace some in war, rich and poor, healthy and sick and some rule most of us obey. The best explanation that I can come up with is the power of mind. A person is moved by his mind and does and lives with what his/hers beliefs, which I think is also influenced by the mind. I’ve come to conclusion that no matter how miserable a person’s life is. His beliefs and the power of his mind and the ability to control it is a gift that not many live to achieve. Living in poverty and comparing life with others more successful people makes a person with less power of mind think of it as a living hell. On the other hand a person who has peace of mind who doesn’t see life as some sort of a competition rather lives life out of simplicity, loves the people around him and be grateful for each moment that he breathes. That’s my story for now, I hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment while I go looking for ways to achieve peace of mind.
Thank you.
What If
WHAT IF…what if you are 27 years old, recently found a stable job met someone that you loved, when out for a year couldn’t be more sure about each other feelings, got married proved yourselves to be right about the choices you’ve made. One no particular day you met with an accident and died…errm that’d be pathetic not sad. Your wife’s pregnant with your child and dies after delivering your baby. What would you do? Will you still find reason in continuing your life the way you intended normal or happy or simple.
What if you were from a poor/broken family not to say that its something unacceptable maybe just a little bit unfortunate. So your parents works hard maybe just your mum anyways you almost succeed in life that is you already have a proper education background, all you have to do is to get a proper job. You cant wait to repay your mums sacrifices or love which you remember vividly in your memory, all those hard works, all those years of suffering. You are happy that you’re going to put an end to those memories with a beautiful harmonic life that you have dreamt of. One no particular day she dies of some disease. What will you do for your only reason of succeeding in life has failed you.
What if you did it all, got married with the one you loved had some beautiful babies gave your mum a happy retirement with much love and care. Life couldn’t be better it was the almost perfect life you worked your ass of for. Id like to be clear about “happy retirement” it doesn’t means that we’ve put her in some old folks house, it meant living together happily just wanted to be clear and to avoid any unpleasantaries. Having said that, you are now 45 years old and you die of choking. Would it all be over then? What if you know that you are dead you know that your soul is no longer in your body you know that you cant do anything about it. What if your soul still lingers around the place you lived and the people you love, looking at them preparing your death, you look at yourself getting buried and left there all alone.
What if you’ve done it all, had a happy family performed all your obligations became someone respected by almost everyone that happen to know or heard of you. What if after doing all that you’ve have no intention of dying therefore you’ve been granted eternal life. At the beginning you were satisfied, happy and full of experience…you might be ok living for the first 100 years, then you realize that eternity doesn’t seems to be that great when you have to spend it on your own. Your efforts to meet new friends and people are filled with laziness and bore dome, what would you do then?
Our lives has been designed to end in one way “death” and start again in two different living environment “heaven” or “hell” to my knowledge that is. I am terribly sorry if I offended anyone whereas my only intention was to write. Come to think about you shouldn’t have read about it in the first place….moving on what my motives were writing this mind disturbing thingy is to share my thoughts which have agitated my sleep, I couldn’t sleep so I write. That’s my explanation if anyone of u wonders. Finally no matter how different your life is no matter how you live it, I think dead will visit everyone but will it be safe to say that the outcome might be different. What if.
Domo arigato.
What if you were from a poor/broken family not to say that its something unacceptable maybe just a little bit unfortunate. So your parents works hard maybe just your mum anyways you almost succeed in life that is you already have a proper education background, all you have to do is to get a proper job. You cant wait to repay your mums sacrifices or love which you remember vividly in your memory, all those hard works, all those years of suffering. You are happy that you’re going to put an end to those memories with a beautiful harmonic life that you have dreamt of. One no particular day she dies of some disease. What will you do for your only reason of succeeding in life has failed you.
What if you did it all, got married with the one you loved had some beautiful babies gave your mum a happy retirement with much love and care. Life couldn’t be better it was the almost perfect life you worked your ass of for. Id like to be clear about “happy retirement” it doesn’t means that we’ve put her in some old folks house, it meant living together happily just wanted to be clear and to avoid any unpleasantaries. Having said that, you are now 45 years old and you die of choking. Would it all be over then? What if you know that you are dead you know that your soul is no longer in your body you know that you cant do anything about it. What if your soul still lingers around the place you lived and the people you love, looking at them preparing your death, you look at yourself getting buried and left there all alone.
What if you’ve done it all, had a happy family performed all your obligations became someone respected by almost everyone that happen to know or heard of you. What if after doing all that you’ve have no intention of dying therefore you’ve been granted eternal life. At the beginning you were satisfied, happy and full of experience…you might be ok living for the first 100 years, then you realize that eternity doesn’t seems to be that great when you have to spend it on your own. Your efforts to meet new friends and people are filled with laziness and bore dome, what would you do then?
Our lives has been designed to end in one way “death” and start again in two different living environment “heaven” or “hell” to my knowledge that is. I am terribly sorry if I offended anyone whereas my only intention was to write. Come to think about you shouldn’t have read about it in the first place….moving on what my motives were writing this mind disturbing thingy is to share my thoughts which have agitated my sleep, I couldn’t sleep so I write. That’s my explanation if anyone of u wonders. Finally no matter how different your life is no matter how you live it, I think dead will visit everyone but will it be safe to say that the outcome might be different. What if.
Domo arigato.
hope
There was this guy called hope...a normal guy in his early twenties,confused about the past,present and the future too...Hope was always hoping for a change that,I think didn't come true actually it did not come true at all.Hope just kept on hoping its not that he didnt want to do something about it, Iam guessing that he didnt really had the opportunity to even try.
Hope was a quiet guy he used to walk around alone before night just nearby where he lives,I once saw him sitting on a bench at the park nearby where he lives..before night that is.Decided to leave him alone since i thought that he wouldnt want to be disturbed.People just ignored him not because they didnt care but thats just what people nowadays do...escpecially in the city,no matter how weird you are they claim to have seen it all and dont seem to be bothered as they are too busy chasing and building their own life which i think they too arent really sure about,then again have you met someone that was sure about "things".
Coming back to hope...regardless of what others think of him Hope didnt seem to care about their existance and that was what i thought i knew.Come to think about it why would Hope hope for a change or changes if he didnt care about others or their existance.You know,why be someone better when you dont care at all,was he trying to please himself...then again a thought this is.Does every single human live thru others expectations and to fulfill their own dream when it actually revovles the people around them which plays a role of proof to see that you have succeded in life?
Hope looked to me and said "if i dont get what i hoped for would i atleast get the satisfaction of living a normal life",being someone honest i said "first of all your not normal,secondly life isnt fair so for you no matter how much u hope for even if u had the oppurtunity to try you might still end up being a failure and still be the same guy u are...were...will be".Hope didnt at all lookes suprised neither he had any signs of anger.He just looked away and said if i knew how it was gonna end i'd wouldnt be bothered to hope.I then said..
It feels like something is,
pushing ang graining against,
my weakend heart
Yet it is no pain and,
bearable,still the feeling so real,
it does not hurt
just that its pain and it affects
Feeling the feeling of,
weakness and hoplesness,
not pathethic,not sad,
iam lying
Just one of those days,
that reminds us that,
we are after all,
petty mortals.
Hearing that Hope said Iam used to the feelings,Iam hoping for a change,Iam scared of changes,Iam hoping for changes...
Hope decided that he wanted to end his life because of the depression and the dissapointment...i quickly said that killing yourself would only make you a coward and that he'd burn in hell as it is against religion...Hope just grunted and if i got it right he said there might be hope in hell,that was when i realised that Hope was just plain mad and proved the rumour about him having a certificate that proves his insanity.
I was just errmm "blank"?...angry at myself...said to him if you are planning to cut your wrist,remember its not across the road its down the road...at the least make that happen...walked away with my head held high.
Hope was a quiet guy he used to walk around alone before night just nearby where he lives,I once saw him sitting on a bench at the park nearby where he lives..before night that is.Decided to leave him alone since i thought that he wouldnt want to be disturbed.People just ignored him not because they didnt care but thats just what people nowadays do...escpecially in the city,no matter how weird you are they claim to have seen it all and dont seem to be bothered as they are too busy chasing and building their own life which i think they too arent really sure about,then again have you met someone that was sure about "things".
Coming back to hope...regardless of what others think of him Hope didnt seem to care about their existance and that was what i thought i knew.Come to think about it why would Hope hope for a change or changes if he didnt care about others or their existance.You know,why be someone better when you dont care at all,was he trying to please himself...then again a thought this is.Does every single human live thru others expectations and to fulfill their own dream when it actually revovles the people around them which plays a role of proof to see that you have succeded in life?
Hope looked to me and said "if i dont get what i hoped for would i atleast get the satisfaction of living a normal life",being someone honest i said "first of all your not normal,secondly life isnt fair so for you no matter how much u hope for even if u had the oppurtunity to try you might still end up being a failure and still be the same guy u are...were...will be".Hope didnt at all lookes suprised neither he had any signs of anger.He just looked away and said if i knew how it was gonna end i'd wouldnt be bothered to hope.I then said..
It feels like something is,
pushing ang graining against,
my weakend heart
Yet it is no pain and,
bearable,still the feeling so real,
it does not hurt
just that its pain and it affects
Feeling the feeling of,
weakness and hoplesness,
not pathethic,not sad,
iam lying
Just one of those days,
that reminds us that,
we are after all,
petty mortals.
Hearing that Hope said Iam used to the feelings,Iam hoping for a change,Iam scared of changes,Iam hoping for changes...
Hope decided that he wanted to end his life because of the depression and the dissapointment...i quickly said that killing yourself would only make you a coward and that he'd burn in hell as it is against religion...Hope just grunted and if i got it right he said there might be hope in hell,that was when i realised that Hope was just plain mad and proved the rumour about him having a certificate that proves his insanity.
I was just errmm "blank"?...angry at myself...said to him if you are planning to cut your wrist,remember its not across the road its down the road...at the least make that happen...walked away with my head held high.
