YOu~

This discomfort-ness, this is all I have been feeling, how long has this feeling been a part of me? Why does it feel like it has been torturing me eternally? !

 My whole being as if it was perpetually being cursed with the sensation of feeling pain in such a perceptive manner; enveloping me whole, as if reminding me on the purpose of my existence…and so I take a few deep breathes as if trying to balance out the darkness by inhaling light.

It is making me more and more uneasy; I feel the insides of my stomach churning with resentment…as if even the insides of my body are unhappy to be a part of me.

 On the outside, the heat that surrounds my body seems overwhelming and getting exponentially heated. The state of this being is almost lost.

In a state of breathlessness and at the brink of hopelessness—he pours buckets of cold water unto his damaged soul, replenishing and watering the dying optimism, as he repeats this, darkness leaped away, buds of green optimism grew and gave birth to clear sight once again. He is momentarily satiated until darkness comes again unannounced, smirking.

~BETTER~

Shit.

I wrote with earning and hope,

Though the reply I received was empty,

I checked and checked and wasted my time in anticipating,

Here I stand emptying my pockets from hoping

I did and I did something I wish I didn’t

I think about it and I wish how I hadn’t

Now I am faced with the burden,

The forlorn,  

Oh what I had done!

The sharp edges of swords now poking against my chest,

My plea forsaken,

AS I fell into a dirty ditch,

Dirtied, though dirtied; yet I fell into it knowingly,

All I do now is hope.

My best hope is that I stop falling for dirty ditches.

Acceptence,

At this juncture again

While wanting to move forward

The first phase is acceptance

After that, directions would be clearer

Hey the wayfarer!

The journey and its meticulous stages

How I wish I was stronger,

If I were a little wiser,

.

.

.

I will grow 'taller',

Be better.

If

Suppression of anger, of holding on to and keeping it in; resisting the urge…the habit, the same thing every time he sees a form of repression… though if he foregoes, his humanity risk being at lost; to get angry again and to be consumed with enmity—or or or or or how does one empathize if the pain he sees is not relatable?  I find it repugnant when my words hold no meaning to the eyes of the readers. Just like peoples abhorrence at my ignorance and complacence at their pain. If only we try to relate to how others might feel.

While we are immersed with our own problems we could go out of our way and put some effort into putting others first at times. It might seem like a suggestion and yes a suggestion to myself.

It is also important to think and to have discourses…if we merely go with the flow and forget about why we lead our lives and do certain things in a conformed way and stop questioning things, then how do we come out of the cave? (Refer: Allegory of the cave).

I rant, as it too is a form of expression, I ran…well I don’t, lemons happen before I could.   

The problem at the table is no one really tries to understand. Everyone is so consumed in a self revolving world… however if one tries I am sure everyone can have a better insight of things, sadly no one has that kind of time!

If the masses were informed and were knowledgeable they’d be less gullible and less prone to manipulation and propaganda especially when these manipulative methods have been used time and time again throughout history.

The first step to enlightenment is to read and not just books by the winners but especially the ones written by the defeated.
   

The Servant

To be productive, to do something productive…once you have a notion of God in your wake while you’re breathing… then you’re living. To be productive, to make a change…what can an ant change? No, I am not saying don’t change I am just saying what change?

What is it like to have faith and hopes in the depths of the heart? I cannot say that I know what it feels like for I am constantly afraid that the wrath will be my becoming.

Trials and ordeals for the temporal being yet when it’s hurting and when he’s suffering the moment seems to prolong and seems as if it just might go on and on.

Even as I breathe I realize I am a dependent being, when the air is dirty, smoky or polluted I get dizzy and I hold my breath and even when I am breathing I realize I am a dependent being. This invincible air, what if it ends? What then when he could not inhale? Then there’s the thirst and hunger and then there’s the thirst of the soul of being intertwined and tangled in a material world it doesn’t belong to. The lover seeks his companion though will his companion be happy to see him?

Utterly weak yet he dreams of things ill befitting of a mere human being, weak yet he fantasies of great things, not in control of his own faith yet he aspires of great things, weak yet he forget himself in sins…such a silly being, a miniscule, an atom yet he manifest himself into a king.

Wake up! Time and time again he was told to…even then he knew if success could be established, despite how miniscule it may be it would be through the glimmers and the shimmering of the hopeful lover, who is at the complete mercy of his lover.

 A man, a beggar, haggard, a withered soul time and time again tampered and bruised, weak with longing, heavy with burden, in complete surrender, the soul wishes to be one with his lover for only then it could truly be .

Hmp

Check it

Another day, yea I survived, still living, silver lining amidst the unnerving what with the new kind of pain lurking a new beginning of a new kind off suffering.

Can u hear my feelings? Even when I say it to your face you seem to be screaming, not caring but for yourself stating that you’re self-sacrificing, how conniving hey the world too equally conspiring.

Tumbling

Secretly a never ending, hoping for the stream to once again commence flowing. The human condition, intelligent but ignorant; rich yet selfish, There is no love we are all on our own. Making me think, feeling the inkling, this weakling, like a fish without water.

My hands shivering, nerves moving against the people I vow I have no feelings yet my body goes limb what is this, it’s embarrassing, come on, you were high and mighty now when it counts I can’t help shaking.

Mind over body, soul over the mind, sold to the man, slave to the land, society damned, ooo a visionary, ooo what a man, ooo so different, intelligent, a philosopher… come on now and show your might, man what have you got?

Trembling

He wants to change the world!! Yet the world is too far away, the mountain cries, it too falls apart anyway turned into stones, oh the heart and how it aches, so real, so brutal.

I Am

I am

I am a…

A balanced life

I feel my heart beating

I guess I am alive

I am a man

I manage my time?

I sacrifice

Sleep

Work

Wake

I

I am

Wisdom and intelligence

I am

Peace and tranquility

Smiles and genuity

Satisfied and satiated

Loved

Loving

Generous and giving

I am

Dazed

In a dream

I am insignificant

Just one

Amongst the bubbles in the sea

Weak and dying

Come on now

I am

Living each day…

Peepur

People

Betrayal

Portrayal of a good stature

Someone who clothe with good attire

Smug

Bold

Proud

Inside, they’d do anything to stay ahead

Their fight

Their plight

To stand high and amass as much

As much riches

These are the masses

They lost themselves

They lost themselves

To where are you headed?

To whom does your soul answer to?

What will you do with your amassed treasure?

Men who sold their souls

What good is stature?

When inside

You stare and there are no human qualities

What is in the heart?

Who knows?

You’re chained

That’s how you’ll ive

Let’s hope

That’s not how you’ll die

You

But I am used to you

So used to you

Each day, even if it wears me out

To a place with no destination

To a state of no clarification

Separated by classification

Social segregation

Misinterpretations

I know,

I malfunction but you’ll always be in mind

You,

I want to see happy,

No, not lonely,

Even if it seems irritating,

Even if it seems like I am pestering,

I do so,

So you don’t have the time to feel lonely

No more aching,

Forget the hurting,

Time and time again,

The rainbow will appear

The rainbow will appear

Even if u don’t feel belonged

Even when you’re feeling hopeless

You’re special

Know that you’re special

So keep strong

Times are hard

But you are strong

So don’t be scared

Retain your smile

For it brings a shine

So keep shining

Keep on smiling

Even when you’re sleeping

Dream of beautiful things

An eternal flower

Beautiful,

Colorful and undying